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My wife is at peace now and I am alone.

calranthecalranthe Member UncommonPosts: 359
We were gamer's from the first week we met in 1997, she was 21, I was 26 completely into science fiction and fantasy, on our first Date we spent 4 hours discussing the merits of Ds9 vs Babylon 5, I built my first PC in 98

We played many single player games our earliest favourite being Daggerfall, became seriously addicted to that, we only had one PC back then and would take time napping while the other person played.

Soon we got into the online scene (while it was still pay per minute in the UK) muds like Afterlife (long since gone) our first graphical mmo was Meridian 59, server 102, I was Cal'ranthe and she was Adamantium or Mithril.

We moved on to Everquest (I remember the train journey out to a store over 90 miles away to get the last copy in stock our local shops were all sold out) we mainly dual teamed, She played a shaman and I was a Mage, my main character being Siliara and hers once again Adamantium, I can not remember the server.

Many other MMO followed Anarchy online, we were there for the launch debacle, Matrix online, City of villains/heroes, Second life our last MMO together was EVE Online.

For most of our online life we didn't engage in big guilds we were just a couple exploring worlds together...

It wasn't that we were antisocial, we kept it to ourselves but a year after we met and had moved in together she became ill, she was diagnosed with an incurable cancer just before her 22nd birthday, it was going to kill her and nothing could be done to stop it, but we could slow it down, medication was available to keep it at bay.

Unfortunately the medication caused so many side effects, so much pain and suffering that getting involved with groups would mean explaining why the group healer had to leave suddenly without warning.

Within 6 months of the initial treatment she was disabled and stuck in the house, games and MMORPG's became our window onto the world, we could no longer take the dogs for even a small walk together but we could travel kithicor forest and on to high pass hold, that first time walking the ramp down to the plains.

Back when you had to wait for the boat to complete its journey, many friends made and fishing done on the Docks.

It was a sad day when Paola became so ill we could no longer travel the online worlds together.

She never stopped smiling or gaming, her last moments were spent listening to music and playing Minecraft on her phone.

As for me I feel like my entire reason for existing is gone, we did everything together after 20 years as her love and primary carer but the universe seems to have a really bad sense of humour, 7 days after she died I was diagnosed with Bowel cancer and on the 3rd of January I go into hospital.

Anyone who has faced this kind of loss knows its a physical pain beyond anything anyone can put into words or explain and now I am going to be facing another quest without my healer at my side and even if I beat the boss mob and get the quest reward I come home to an empty house.

I always said I was happy to live one day more than she needed me.

Here is a picture and what happened.

https://imgur.com/gallery/JSggx0v


Maybe this is just the way it was meant to be, I never got ill while she was alive, for 20 years I did everything for her and now my body is failing.

I'm not giving up do not worry about that and if I do beat this I plan on doing all those things that she can not but would it be so bad to run out of potions and respawn wherever she is now.

If you have loved ones please make sure they know you love them and always do what makes you happy, me and Paola were just a normal couple planning our lives when all this happened.

AmathePhaserlightCryomatrixUngood

Comments

  • AmatheAmathe Member LegendaryPosts: 5,238
    I am very sorry for your loss. That has to be painful. Peace be with you.

    EQ1, EQ2, SWG, SWTOR, GW, GW2 CoH, CoV, FFXI, WoW, CO, War,TSW and a slew of free trials and beta tests

  • JackDundeeJackDundee Member EpicPosts: 2,702
    It will get better, I hope you can find some peace and solace this Christmas and I appreciate you sharing your message to let your loved ones know how much you care. Hang in there my friend

    Gaming should be your therapy, Not your reason for seeking Therapy
  • TealaTeala Member RarePosts: 7,627
    Stay strong. Continue to live and live the kind of life she would have been proud of.  That is the best way you can honor her and her memory. 
    JackDundee
  • GorweGorwe Member EpicPosts: 5,962
    I literally don't know what to say. I'll just say:

    "Try to enjoy yourself in this time you've got left. Things will most likely spiral out of control ; have no doubt about that"
  • CryomatrixCryomatrix Member EpicPosts: 2,526
    I'm sorry for your loss. You are one of the few to live with the love of your life. Cherish the time you spent. Many people don't live with the love of their life. 

    Sincerely, 

    Cryomatrix
    Catch me streaming at twitch.tv/cryomatrix
    You can see my sci-fi/WW2 book recommendations. 
  • yassinekinjiyassinekinji Member CommonPosts: 2
    yup
  • PyndaPynda Member UncommonPosts: 854
    I was really saddened to read this, although originally, I couldn't come up with anything to say. But it's January 23rd now, and you mentioned that you were going in for treatment yourself on the 3rd. So how did that go? Are you feeling okay, physically at least? Did you get any good news? I hope so. Please let us know if you wouldn't mind.
  • Gabriel679Gabriel679 Member, Newbie CommonPosts: 15
    i hope you can find something entertaining in gaming. and wish you are healthy and fine!
  • Andrew_BrownAndrew_Brown Newbie CommonPosts: 4
    That' s sad :( really sorry for your lost. It's great that you guys had spent great time together. She is in a better place now. Hope that you can find you can find your interest again.
    Cleaner team on apknite Horrorfield Multiplayer Survival B) 
  • XarktardXarktard Member UncommonPosts: 12
    whoop whoop
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