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Things Noobs say...

JemcrystalJemcrystal Member UncommonPosts: 1,984
in The Pub at MMORPG.COM
Noob:  This game keeps crashing.  Think I'm going to reinstall.

Me (in my head cause to polite to say out loud):  Stop playing on your mom's secretary computer.  Get a job.  Buy a gaming computer.  See how much better your game runs now?

--

Noob:  I'm lost.

Me (in head):  Maps are a fine invention.

--

Noob:  I'm quitting!

All of us out loud:  Can I have your stuffs?


alkarionlogcraftseeker

Comments

  • CryomatrixCryomatrix Member EpicPosts: 3,223
    Noob: How do I buy stuff from the Cash Shop?
    Phrycraftseeker
    Catch me streaming at twitch.tv/cryomatrix
    You can see my sci-fi/WW2 book recommendations. 
  • GruntyGrunty Member EpicPosts: 8,657
    Noob:  Can someone help me?   

    * silently: With what you cretin?
    craftseeker
    "I used to think the worst thing in life was to be all alone.  It's not.  The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone."  Robin Williams
  • PhryPhry Member LegendaryPosts: 11,004
    Things noobs say, one of my pet peeves is 'can you sign my guild charter, i just need 1 more person' kind of thing  :/
    Phaserlight
  • KellerKeller Member UncommonPosts: 602
    edited September 2018
    "This game is going to fail, because as an oldschool gamer I can say this game is not even close to how DAOC / Everquest / Asheron Call / <insert game> used to be. "  
    alkarionlog
  • TheScavengerTheScavenger Member EpicPosts: 3,321
    "Need gold plz"
    kenguru23Octagon7711

    My Skyrim, Fallout 4, Starbound and WoW + other game mods at MODDB: 

    https://www.moddb.com/mods/skyrim-anime-overhaul



  • alkarionlogalkarionlog Member EpicPosts: 3,584
    start a forum post with things a noob says...

    El-Hefe
    FOR HONOR, FOR FREEDOM.... and for some money.
  • MaxBaconMaxBacon Member LegendaryPosts: 7,766
    edited September 2018
    My most common experience with the newbs is them asking for gold/currency constantly, man it was a pain in one huge trading guild where GIB ME MONEY all the way everyday non-stop.

    Meh most players have no idea where the real money making machine is (hint: it's on playing with the game economy, specifically auction houses). 
  • klash2defklash2def Member EpicPosts: 1,949
    noobs today are lazy compared to "back in my day" noobs
    Phrydelete5230ciely
    "Beliefs don't change facts. Facts, if you're reasonable, should change your beliefs."


    "The Society that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools."



     
    Currently: Games Audio Engineer, you didn't hear what I heard, you heard what I wanted you to hear. 


  • Octagon7711Octagon7711 Member LegendaryPosts: 9,000
    Noob: "I'm not doing the quest.  I'll just keep buying loot boxes until that mount drops." 

    "We all do the best we can based on life experience, point of view, and our ability to believe in ourselves." - Naropa      "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."  SR Covey

  • AnthurAnthur Member UncommonPosts: 961
    If you treat new players badly you just chase away your future team mates and might be quite lonely soon. Everybody has been and will be a "noob" somewhere, someday.  I don't even like that word, it's somehow kind of racist in a way, although new players are of course no race as such.
    [Deleted User]
  • ConstantineMerusConstantineMerus Member EpicPosts: 3,338
    Alright I'll bite..

    World of Warcraft: 
    Noob: "/LF tank + healer for <entry-level dungeon name> fast run!! No retards!!! Link achievements for <highend-level mythic raid> or get reported! Pro run+++ item level +3894^17 required."

    EVE Online:
    Noob: "No one's interested in blowing up my cheap ship."

    League of Legends - as a main jungler:
    Noob: "I lost my lane report jungler the f*** c*** piece of s*** get cancer!!!"
    Constantine, The Console Poster

    • "One of the most difficult tasks men can perform, however much others may despise it, is the invention of good games and it cannot be done by men out of touch with their instinctive selves." - Carl Jung
  • JeffSpicoliJeffSpicoli Member EpicPosts: 2,849
    Nooberrella : Can anyone tell me what {Broken Sword handle of the Junk Pile}  is used for ?
    SirJaime      : Vendor Trash
    DildoBaggin: Trash 
    MagaMan    : Junk
    The server will shut down in 10 minutes for maintenance
    ChadBigsby : L2 READ NOOB!
    MoonBeam  :   reported 
    CryomatrixPhaserlightcraftseeker

    • Aloha Mr Hand ! 

  • centkincentkin Member RarePosts: 1,527
    Phry said:
    Things noobs say, one of my pet peeves is 'can you sign my guild charter, i just need 1 more person' kind of thing  :/


    Actually if you are a new player -- the 10 gold they give you for signing a guild charter then being kicked from the guild is quite the head start.
  • UngoodUngood Member LegendaryPosts: 7,532
    "This game sucks"

    Log back in 5 hours later.. they are STILL on.
    Phrydelete5230Waan
    Egotism is the anesthetic that dullens the pain of stupidity, this is why when I try to beat my head against the stupidity of other people, I only hurt myself.

  • TheScavengerTheScavenger Member EpicPosts: 3,321
    Ungood said:
    "This game sucks"

    Log back in 5 hours later.. they are STILL on.
    Most of the time especially when they are still playing, that is more a troll than a noob
    Ungood

    My Skyrim, Fallout 4, Starbound and WoW + other game mods at MODDB: 

    https://www.moddb.com/mods/skyrim-anime-overhaul



  • AmatheAmathe Member LegendaryPosts: 7,630
    Let's tamp down the nomenclature :) 

    Newbie: Can you point me to the blacksmith shop?

    Noobie: How do I stop auto-attack?

    Noob: [in the new player yard] Where are the phat lewts?

    Noobstain: Plat plz.
    PhaserlightAlBQuirky

    EQ1, EQ2, SWG, SWTOR, GW, GW2 CoH, CoV, FFXI, WoW, CO, War,TSW and a slew of free trials and beta tests

  • laseritlaserit Member LegendaryPosts: 7,591
    Mom, can I have an Xbox

    "Be water my friend" - Bruce Lee

  • madazzmadazz Member RarePosts: 2,107
    OP is a newb. Anyone who uses "noob" or any other variation is newer than someone who uses "newb" as that how it originally started.

    OP is also blatantly a newb as 1, they forget that they are a newb in every game they haven't played before and failed to realize it. And 2, they are insulting someones computer which is a pretty bitch thing to do. Also, only newbs ask for all your stuff when someone is quitting. Because only a newb would think that joke is still funny.
    craftseeker
  • UngoodUngood Member LegendaryPosts: 7,532
    "Stop stealing my Kills!"

    In games like GW2 and Trove.
    Egotism is the anesthetic that dullens the pain of stupidity, this is why when I try to beat my head against the stupidity of other people, I only hurt myself.

  • AsheramAsheram Member EpicPosts: 5,071
  • AkulasAkulas Member RarePosts: 3,006
    How do I mine for fish.
    Help admin, I'm drowning.

    This isn't a signature, you just think it is.

  • delete5230delete5230 Member EpicPosts: 7,081
    Newbie: 
    I don't have any real life money ! 

    Everyone else: 
    You must have been gambling in Black Desert Online
  • AlBQuirkyAlBQuirky Member EpicPosts: 7,432
    Keller said:
    "This game is going to fail, because as an oldschool gamer I can say this game is not even close to how DAOC / Everquest / Asheron Call / <insert game> used to be. "  
    Yea... so many noobs with 20+ gaming experience...

    NooB: "Hi!  I'm XxXLegolassXxX, wanna group up?"

    Other palyers just run on by...

    - Al

    Personally the only modern MMORPG trend that annoys me is the idea that MMOs need to be designed in a way to attract people who don't actually like MMOs. Which to me makes about as much sense as someone trying to figure out a way to get vegetarians to eat at their steakhouse.
    - FARGIN_WAR


  • anemoanemo Member RarePosts: 1,903
    Noob:  I want to have a unique build/class, and also have balanced combat.   (But instead said in 3 page essay format).

    Practice doesn't make perfect, practice makes permanent.

    "At one point technology meant making tech that could get to the moon, now it means making tech that could get you a taxi."

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