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Girl player---interactions with guys, some issues

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  • IAmMMOIAmMMO Member UncommonPosts: 1,462
    Guys in their early 20's who've had no real life contact with the opposite sex do tend to act like toads at the pond when a female turns up, and then it turns into one big mating ball with the poor female at the center. You have to be blunt with these type of guys, but you  shouldn't take advantage of them either by them trying to win favor with you. It reminds me of that story in PC gamer magazine that started one hell of a storm in a famous MMo! it was about a guy pretending to be a girl who lead another guy on to get all sorts of things out of him. By accepting anything from these guys your making their creeper antics worse.
  • DarLorkarDarLorkar Member UncommonPosts: 1,082

    Seeking help about one random anonymous group of people from ANOTHER random anonymous group of people...ya that is gonna end well.

     

    If this is all true and OP is serious, ...answer is pretty obvious. Drop that group and go find a group that has some common decency. 

     

    I will not join any voice/guild group that does not have a strict PG rule set in place, in both voice and guild chat. Not because i am a prude or really offended about cursing...just to eliminate the possibility of this type behaviour from ever happening in the first place.

     

    Common sense should not stop once you hit the computer's on button....but it most often seems to. So keep to places that have some rules. Problems solved 90% of the time.

  • KajidourdenKajidourden Member EpicPosts: 2,942


    It's an unfortunate reality.  If it continues to be a problem you may want to consider reporting people and moving on.  If it STILL persists...well I dunno what to tell you...there's an internet rule somewhere that says "there are no girls on the internet" so I just treat it as such, have been since I started playing online in 2000

  • Jean-Luc_PicardJean-Luc_Picard Member LegendaryPosts: 8,076
    Originally posted by Thebeasttt

    Every female gamer i've ran into have the worst personalities ever. Not sure why so many gamers drool over them. They're not gonna buy a plane ticket to suck your D bros.

    In our culture women have so many entitlement issues from being pursued constantly, multiply that by 100 for gamer girls.

    This is pure misogynistic crap of course.

    But it's true that some female gamers are abusing by flirting with anything that has a male voice, specially when in position of "power" (guild leader, officer), to get advantages. That happens mostly in loot centric games (EQ, WoW, etc...).

    Those women are no better than the male counterparts who abuse the Internet anonymity. Some men become virtual bullies and macho, some women become virtual bitches. I insist on "virtual" of course, neither of them would ever dare doing the same in real life face to face.

    Blame the right people, not the majority of both sexes who are just fine people without sexual identity problems.

    "The ability to speak doesn't make you intelligent" - Qui-gon Jinn in Star Wars.
    After many years of reading Internet forums, there's no doubt that nor does the ability to write.
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  • kuyanofdakuyanofda Member UncommonPosts: 52
    the irony of this topic having a 13 page discussion..  flip the gender roles here and the story doesnt even exist.    ignore ppl and use them for your own gain when you want something in game.  its all virtual anyways.. as soon as you quit the game, you are replaced by someone else.
  • GruntyGrunty Member EpicPosts: 8,657

    Do you want to protect yourself or not? Protecting yourself does not imply being defensive. It can also mean going on the offensive. With backup if necessary.

    My advice? Seek advice from people who have a clue. Do not pay for that advice. Stop trying to explain or defend yourself from a bunch of semi-anonymous people by asking advice from a bunch of semi-anonymous people.

     

    https://www.google.com/search?q=online+harassment+guidelines&rlz=1C1ASUC_enUS574US574&oq=online+harassment+guidelines&aqs=chrome..69i57.11367j0j7&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=122&ie=UTF-8

     

    http://www.haltabuse.org/help/respond.shtml

    https://www.wiredsafety.org/subjects/cyberbullying.php

    https://www.getsafeonline.org/protecting-yourself/cyberstalking/

     

    "I used to think the worst thing in life was to be all alone.  It's not.  The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone."  Robin Williams
  • Flyte27Flyte27 Member RarePosts: 4,574

    I think sometimes guys want an all guy group.  This may be elitist and immature, but the problem is you can't really say or act a certain way when people of the opposite gender are around.  You have to be respectful of them.  That takes some of the fun out of it for some people immature or not.

    The best bet is to find a group of like minded people to play with and who you feel comfortable with.  There are probably other girls looking for someone to play with or guys who aren't interested in sex, being immature, or forming a relationship.

    I've been playing games for a long time and I've gotten harassed as a guy for not doing things a certain way or making a mistake at the wrong time. 

    I'm fairly surprised there would be so much trouble these days when women have so much power and have been accepted so much in terms of being able to try anything they want to try.  Generally they are shown respect (at least in real life from what I've seen).  I don't really play MMOs to much anymore. 

    Generally men are more aggressive, competitive, and easily threatened.  It's part of their chemical makeup.  Women tend to be more empathetic, work together, and use their mind.  This is because of having certain chemical levels that are different then men as well.  It's just the way we are made up in most cases.  Some can overcome these hurdles and others can't.

  • cheyanecheyane Member EpicPosts: 6,504

    Learn one simple thing never tell people you are young. I start by saying I am a 55 year old housewife. This cuts down 90 % of the problems. Well I am actually 54 but I say I am even 60 if I think there might be trouble. Learn to lie.

     

    If they already know your age tell them you wanted to be young online but are actually this 60 year old who enjoys video games. You are sorry you told them you were 29  but in reality you're 55 or 65 or whatever age you want to pick. Talk about your grandchildren make stuff up it will help with the illusion of age. Always talk about the 50's and 60's.

     

    If you do not know any shows from the 60's and singers from the 50's just find a few on Google and occasionally drop those facts it will solidify your story better and voila you will not be harassed any more.

     

    If you feel bad about lying remember they asked for it . When I first started gaming I also had these issues and I was not even on Vent and I have an awful problem I sound very young on voice chat but if I establish that I am old they think I am a cute old lady.

    image
  • aesperusaesperus Member UncommonPosts: 5,135

    Honestly, this is part of being a female. Especially if you're an attractive one (or at least sound attractive).

    Every woman i know has had to deal with such a situation more than once. Maybe not within a video game, but it's really all the same. If this thread is a genuine cry for help, it's time to toughen up and not put up w/ it. If you don't like the situation, remove yourself from it. If any of those people are really you're friends, they will support you. If not, they aren't your friends, and are probably just more horny 20-something gamers.

    Running around outside the issue will only create more drama, and will just feed the negative mindset presented from some of those players you mentioned.

    Simply put, most girls / women attract attention. Many of them like it that way / want the attention. Not all of them do, but it's more common than not in a lot of cases.

    - That said I've met / know a decent amount of female gamers that handle such situations quite well. They don't start drama, they don't try and play up their femininity for favors, and if they meet another horny gamer looking for some attention, they tell them to F*@% off. Not always that harshly, but if the situation warrants it, then yes.

    I will say that having a problem of 'being overly wanted' is not a problem you're generally going to find a lot of sympathy for, though.

  • QuizzicalQuizzical Member LegendaryPosts: 21,452
    Originally posted by jykouras

    I started regularly going into vent

    There's your first mistake.

  • jazz.bejazz.be Member UncommonPosts: 889

    Men have issues and drama in their life to. They just don't feel the need to write a whole essay about it.

    But now you did, we may as well think about it for a second. What's the problem exactly?

    You met some guys who are probably touching themselves while thinking about you, and some other guys who think that's weird and are giving you a hard time for that. Isn't this exactly why we play online games? You receive attention, and you give attention. That's essentially the thing that separates this genre from the other genres. I'm sure you could handle it if you accept the fact that the people you meet are actual people. People say be respectful online, they're real people, but interacting with real people also means you have to realize that they can be annoying as well.  So yeah, respect the ones that respect you.

  • TamanousTamanous Member RarePosts: 2,997
    Originally posted by Flyte27

     

    Generally men are more aggressive, competitive, and easily threatened.  It's part of their chemical makeup.  Women tend to be more empathetic, work together, and use their mind.  This is because of having certain chemical levels that are different then men as well.  It's just the way we are made up in most cases.  Some can overcome these hurdles and others can't.

    Please don't overs simplify this. You are actually stereotyping.

     

    Facts actually prove the reverse is true. Women actually test more poorly for efficient task based group behavior (this is clearly evident from business through military structure) and "use their mind"? You kidding me? We all use our minds for everything we do.

     

    I applaud those willing to accept all the differences in all of humanity but what you speak of is more a cultural phenomenon rather than a biological one. 

    You stay sassy!

  • AxehiltAxehilt Member RarePosts: 10,504
    Originally posted by kuyanofda
    the irony of this topic having a 13 page discussion..  flip the gender roles here and the story doesnt even exist.    ignore ppl and use them for your own gain when you want something in game.  its all virtual anyways.. as soon as you quit the game, you are replaced by someone else.

    How's it ironic? "Flip the [blank] and this story wouldn't even exist" is the point of inequality issues.

    A while back I moved out of CA to somewhere it rains a lot.  When my CA friends tell me "OMG the drought is so bad here" should I tell them they're lying because it has literally poured down rain all month long where I live now?

    Also caught this great piece on equality today which shows how flipping the story is precisely how you reveal the inequality.

    "What is truly revealing is his implication that believing something to be true is the same as it being true. [continue]" -John Oliver

  • XarkoXarko Member EpicPosts: 1,165

    Yes thats how average male mmo player reacts these days when they hear a female voice. You might find it frustrating etc., but you should realize its a great opportunity you can take advantage of.

    What you should do is start streaming whatever game you play and let this army of virgins send you tons of money for simply playing a game and smiling at the camera. There already are girl on twitch who make living out of that. 

    Of course it has some cons too. Youll get called attention w***e and have mail full of d**k pics, but Id say its worth it. Easiest job ever.

  • WizardryWizardry Member LegendaryPosts: 16,782

    The problem is this....and i see it a LOT.

    You wanted to do more accomplish more so you turned aside the friends you already had for obviously selfish reasons.

    Then as busy as you say you were,you simply have no time to create a pile of friends.That was your mistake to lead people on into thinking you were a friend but in reality you were playing for yourself,selfishly.I know i am being crude and straight forward but that is the way i am.

    it is nice to have friends in game,but pick the ones you want to keep and stick with them as a friend should.If you dump off those people who were lead on to believing you were a steady friend and not just a friend when it conveniences YOU start to get a bit weird,you should expect it.

    It has always bothered me when i see people instead of talking among friends and working stuff out,they just sneak around pretending to befriend whomever can help them out.Bottom line is this,you never forget your friends online or offline,it doesn't matter.

    Never forget 3 mile Island and never trust a government official or company spokesman.

  • SoraksisSoraksis Member UncommonPosts: 294

    I think the biggest problem with this whole issue is that you are expecting 20 something year old males to not behave like 20 something year old males.  Young lady they will act like that for another 5 to 10 years at least. 

    That is not saying that it is okay how they behave or its justified at all.  My suggestion to you is make it absolutely clear to every one of them where you stand and what you want out of the game with them.   Then if they persist then at that point I would remove them from my friend list and block them if possible.  That is about all you can do in a game.

  • SuperDonkSuperDonk Member UncommonPosts: 759
    Originally posted by Nephelai

    Life is simple at its core.

    Let me explain the simplicity of men to you.

    When we see a human this is our thought process:

    1. Is it female?
    2. Is there another man having sex with her that I may have to contend with?
    3. Try to have sex with her
    4. Move to next female

    We aren't hard to manage when you understand our basic instincts.

    It may be blunt but its that simplicity that populated the Earth in the early dangerous times and it still lingers in most men today.

    The female one looks like this:

    1. Is it male?
    2. Does it have resources?
    3. Can it protect me?
    4. Have sex with him
    5. Move to next male if 2 or 3 cease to exist

     

    So to avoid the situation its very simple. Either pretend you aren't female or make it known in some way that a man is already having sex with you.

     

     

    Nailed it.

  • JoeyjojoshabaduJoeyjojoshabadu Member UncommonPosts: 162
    Originally posted by SuperDonk
    Originally posted by Nephelai

    Life is simple at its core.

    Let me explain the simplicity of men to you.

    When we see a human this is our thought process:

    1. Is it female?
    2. Is there another man having sex with her that I may have to contend with?
    3. Try to have sex with her
    4. Move to next female

    We aren't hard to manage when you understand our basic instincts.

    It may be blunt but its that simplicity that populated the Earth in the early dangerous times and it still lingers in most men today.

    The female one looks like this:

    1. Is it male?
    2. Does it have resources?
    3. Can it protect me?
    4. Have sex with him
    5. Move to next male if 2 or 3 cease to exist

     

    So to avoid the situation its very simple. Either pretend you aren't female or make it known in some way that a man is already having sex with you.

     

     

    Nailed it.

     

    Legit. Backed by sociology and biology.

     

    https://en.wikipedia.org/?title=Robert_Briffault#Briffault.27s_Law

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bateman's_principle

     

     

     

  • eye_meye_m Member UncommonPosts: 3,317
    Originally posted by Joeyjojoshabadu
    Originally posted by SuperDonk
    Originally posted by Nephelai

    Life is simple at its core.

    Let me explain the simplicity of men to you.

    When we see a human this is our thought process:

    1. Is it female?
    2. Is there another man having sex with her that I may have to contend with?
    3. Try to have sex with her
    4. Move to next female

    We aren't hard to manage when you understand our basic instincts.

    It may be blunt but its that simplicity that populated the Earth in the early dangerous times and it still lingers in most men today.

    The female one looks like this:

    1. Is it male?
    2. Does it have resources?
    3. Can it protect me?
    4. Have sex with him
    5. Move to next male if 2 or 3 cease to exist

     

    So to avoid the situation its very simple. Either pretend you aren't female or make it known in some way that a man is already having sex with you.

     

     

    Nailed it.

     

    Legit. Backed by sociology and biology.

     

    https://en.wikipedia.org/?title=Robert_Briffault#Briffault.27s_Law

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bateman's_principle

     

     

     

     So it's her fault?

    All of my posts are either intelligent, thought provoking, funny, satirical, sarcastic or intentionally disrespectful. Take your pick.

    I get banned in the forums for games I love, so lets see if I do better in the forums for games I hate.

    I enjoy the serenity of not caring what your opinion is.

    I don't hate much, but I hate Apple© with a passion. If Steve Jobs was alive, I would punch him in the face.

  • psiicpsiic Member RarePosts: 1,617

    Hmmm I'd look for a new guild, I've been online gaming since we got an internet, some form of voice chat almost as long.  I remember playing Ultima Online with a group while we did a conference call.  

    Over the games, and years, I've been in 20-30 guilds and NEVER had the vicious incidents you are describing.  Even the WoW guilds that were full of 15-16 year olds never had that kind of behaviour. It just would not be accepted by any guild I've ever been in. 

    I've had girls/women in the guilds I have been in since Everquest, and no member would ever dream of treating the ladies with anything but the utmost respect. I'll even snatch someone up short that cusses when a lady is in chat, even though I personally talk like a sailor when they are not. 

    We did have a few instances.

    One where a kid screamed at his mom when she asked him to take out the garbage. Myself and another member of the guild took him into private chat and had a 2 hour discussion with him about respecting his mother, what it means to be a man, and how important personal honor is when associating with other men.

    One where a young girl was saying "daddy daddy I love you", and the guy screamed at her to shut up and smacked her.  All I will say about that resolution is it went IRL.

    Had another where a young girl was on chat looking for the wrong kind of attention in the wrong kind of way.  That one proved difficult but finally involved a few phone calls to her father.

     

    Needless to say from what you are saying you are just in the wrong guild.

     

     

  • Flyte27Flyte27 Member RarePosts: 4,574
    Originally posted by Tamanous
    Originally posted by Flyte27

     

    Generally men are more aggressive, competitive, and easily threatened.  It's part of their chemical makeup.  Women tend to be more empathetic, work together, and use their mind.  This is because of having certain chemical levels that are different then men as well.  It's just the way we are made up in most cases.  Some can overcome these hurdles and others can't.

    Please don't overs simplify this. You are actually stereotyping.

     

    Facts actually prove the reverse is true. Women actually test more poorly for efficient task based group behavior (this is clearly evident from business through military structure) and "use their mind"? You kidding me? We all use our minds for everything we do.

     

    I applaud those willing to accept all the differences in all of humanity but what you speak of is more a cultural phenomenon rather than a biological one. 

    I believe it is actually science.  I am not an expert and could be wrong.  I was reading an article on MSN.com that shows women have certain chemicals in larger doses that make them more empathetic and prone to crying.  They also have less of certain chemicals that make men more likely to be aggressive and competitive.  It is all part of chemicals in our body (science).  It's not stereo typing.  Is it any coincidence that women are probably at their strongest dominant point in the history of the world when manual labor is at an all time low and social networking/entertainment is at an all time high?

  • Shoko_LiedShoko_Lied Member UncommonPosts: 2,191
    Originally posted by jykouras I can't escape the dicks because they are all so closely intertwined. 
     

    Sorry I just got done doing a triple-take on this sentence after I shot soda out of my nose.

  • ErdaErda Member UncommonPosts: 211

    You got some really good advice on page 4 of the thread.  Look for an active social guild and especially one that has a number of gamer couples, older adults, and is geared towards PG behavior.    Some of the gaming community guilds are very good and have a number of long term friendships in the guild.   My hubby and I have had some of our best gaming times in guilds like these.    I've joined a few guilds that advertise themselves family friendly, social, helpful, etc.  After the first hour or so of hearing mom jokes, elitist remarks, unnecessary profanity, I drop them like a hot potato.    You may have to sort through a few guilds before you find the right fit but at the end, it will do you a world of good.

    As someone who has been playing MMOs for quite a few years, I've never experienced harassment on the scale of what you describe.  I've had a few guild mates ask probing questions about my age, martial status but I usually head it off.   If you are being harassed in vent, look for new friends.  If you find a mature guild and mature group of friends, it will go a long way in making your gaming experiences much better.

    If you are striving towards more serious raiding with a raid group, this may be the lay of the land unfortunately.  When I've raided, it has been casual raiding with folks I know in guild.   I do know that some raiding groups are quite harsh with players, male or female.  No way in hell would I consider hanging with them.

     

  • lugallugal Member UncommonPosts: 669
    After WoW launched a bunch of us SWG vets guilded up till we could join a larger group. Well, in the short time we were a guild, my friend invited a guy and his girlfriend into the guild. Not really an issue since we a few husband and wife couples.
    Shortly after they got on our vent, the girl started hanging in private rooms with a different guy, another guildie from SWG.
    This chick aranaged for a solo trip to meet the other guy. A few days later, the boyfriend is having a shouting match in vent with the girlfriend and the other guy.
    After the couple left the guild, the guildie let it slip he got VD from the chick. So awesome.
    Every guild since wow is have been in had a no single chicks rule. They had to be relatives or children.
    My arma clan had a new server, we took a month headstart before making it public. Part of going public was that the server was gonna be pvp enabled. Pvp lasted about a week. Till one of the ladies got pvp'd. The lady who was all clingy and had no issue using her gender to get stuff and special treatment. Helped she was actually good looking.

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    The reviewer has a mishapen head
    Which means his opinion is skewed
    ...Aldous.MF'n.Huxley

  • strawhat0981strawhat0981 Member UncommonPosts: 1,008
    I cannot believe this thread is still alive. Really?

    Originally posted by laokoko
    "if you want to be a game designer, you should sell your house and fund your game. Since if you won't even fund your own game, no one will".

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