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The Perfect MMORPG

WargfootWargfoot Member UncommonPosts: 257

The Perfect MMORPG

 

I’ve carefully surveyed the MMORPG player base and I believe I’ve manage to cobble together the basic design specifications for the perfect MMORPG.   The best part about these specifications is that they’ll meet the gaming needs of the vast majority of the current player base.

Here is how you play:

1: Get a buddy, two sheets of paper, two pencils, and a pair of 6 sided dice.

2: Each player gets a piece of paper, a pencil, and a single die.  

3: Each player should write the number 100 on the paper.

4: Take turns rolling the dice.  If player ‘A’ rolls a 4 then subtract 4 points from the score card of player ‘B’.  Do this back and forth until one player reaches a score of 0 or less.

5: The first player to run out of points loses.

6: The player who survives receives the title ‘God’.

I presented this design to a group of top level game designers at a recent gaming convention and I fielded several questions.   I’m sure the readers of this forum will have similar questions so I’ll share the answers I gave at the convention here for your edification.

 

#1: What about playing dress up?

I understand that a vast majority of the player base is interested in playing dress up.   A small investment in a Barbie doll can be used to fill this gap.  The great part is that you can dress up your character however you want – you can have exactly the same disregard for practicality and physics as any modern video game designer.    Do you want a sword the size of a surfboard?  No problem.   Do you want to run a paladin with more lace and frills than a Mardi Gras float queen?  Absolutely!

 

#2: What do you feel is the greatest strength of your design?

I feel that perfectly mirrored balance is really the high point of my design.   Nothing causes complaints within the community like variety in class makeup.  If class differentiation is any more in-depth than the name of the class then the designer is going way too far.   As you can see, with my system you could run an undead necro-wizard against a hobbit tinker and they’d have exactly the same DPS.

 

#3: How do we monetize this game?

Sell different colors of dice in the online store.   Come out with anniversary edition of the dice from time to time.  Vet rewards could be die that make fun sounds when you roll them.  See Apple Computer for ideas on how to repackage the same technology while pretending it is something entirely new.

 

#4: What about Pay-To-Win?  You cannot expect a modern game development house to leave that out!

Sell 6 sided dice that replace the ‘1’ with an additional ‘6’.

 

#5: Isn’t that cheating?

No, that is Pay-To-Win.  I can see why you’d be confused but it really is  different.  Trust me on that.

 

#6: Any other advantages to your system?

Yes.  Hopefully all the whining cowards who ruin every video game and community in which they participate will be so enraptured with this new ezmode game that they’ll leave the rest of us alone.  Additionally, development houses that are afraid of trying anything new will get wrapped up in this new model and they’ll stop polluting IPs with utter garbage.   My long term goal is to get all the gamers/developers who insist on this sort of thing to attend a convention on a atoll out in the Pacific so we can nuke these losers off the face of the earth.

 

Comments

  • remsleepremsleep Member RarePosts: 826

    So much anger, over what exactly?

    Games?

     

  • TanemundTanemund Member UncommonPosts: 153

    You going to run a Kickstarter on this?  Because if you are I'll throw you enough to get your first ream of paper. 

     

    By the by that's another way to monetize;  different color paper.  Although with this you have to be careful because as everyone knows red paper is clearly superior to green paper.  And then there is that whole scissors issue.  Better  nerf scissors right off the bat.

     

    Ack!  Look how a great idea can get ruined in just a few sentences.

    Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

  • CrazKanukCrazKanuk Member EpicPosts: 6,130
    LMAO, classic!! Thanks for that, I needed a good smile to get over the hump. 

    Crazkanuk

    ----------------
    Azarelos - 90 Hunter - Emerald
    Durnzig - 90 Paladin - Emerald
    Demonicron - 90 Death Knight - Emerald Dream - US
    Tankinpain - 90 Monk - Azjol-Nerub - US
    Brindell - 90 Warrior - Emerald Dream - US
    ----------------

  • WargfootWargfoot Member UncommonPosts: 257
    Originally posted by Tanemund

    Ack!  Look how a great idea can get ruined in just a few sentences.

    You killed the dream.

  • TanemundTanemund Member UncommonPosts: 153
    Originally posted by wargfoot
    Originally posted by Tanemund

    Ack!  Look how a great idea can get ruined in just a few sentences.

    You killed the dream.

    Proof positive that nothing can mess up a good game faster than players.

     

    /shame

    Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

  • WargfootWargfoot Member UncommonPosts: 257
    Originally posted by remsleep

    So much anger, over what exactly?

    Games?

    You nailed me with that and it is true, I can be quite immature.   I still get upset when I blow a thousand dollars on something and invest hundreds of hours of my time only to have a developer break promises, sell out the IP, and cater to the lowest common denominator.  Sometimes I just don't know what comes over me.

    But then that is what is great about my new MMORPG design.

    You can reach 'God' status in under 20 minutes, you can buy cheats, you can play dress up - because the design does away entirely with the whole pretense of there being a challenge or having to use your brain.   Plus there is tons of PvE - you can create a goblin character sheet with only 20 points and probably kill him in under 6 rolls of your six sided dice.  Heh, the little booger didn't stand a chance and you get to think about how bad you owned him while working the drive thru window at Taco Bell.

    Perfection.

  • WargfootWargfoot Member UncommonPosts: 257
    Originally posted by Tanemund
    Originally posted by wargfoot
    Originally posted by Tanemund

    Ack!  Look how a great idea can get ruined in just a few sentences.

    You killed the dream.

    Proof positive that nothing can mess up a good game faster than players.

     

    /shame

    Wouldn't it be great to log onto a game forum and see a developer say something like:

    "Uh, your suggestion to change the Paladin class is so entirely without merit that we've decided to close your account and send you a refund.  Sorry, but we feel you aren't the type of player we want in our game world."

     Instead we get:

    "The pink unicorn mount will be available for your Paladin in the next update.   We'll edit the lore later."

This discussion has been closed.