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Wow, :) So true
So there I was.....minding my own business in The Overthere, when all
of a sudden I see the message: "d00d sow plz".
Of course, my natural instinct was not to answer, since I thought the
clueless newb (hereafter referred to politely as "the petitioner")
must have been poorly informed at best.
Boy was I ever wrong.
I switch out of 1st person into an external camera, and what did my
wandering eyes behold? Only myself and the petitioner.
So I says to myself...."Self? You need to edumacate this fella!"
(Keep in mind what the overall setting looked like: There I was, in
skeleton form, carrying a scythe, FLOATING IN MIDAIR IN A MEDITATING
POSITION, with a LARGE dark-brown skeleton named "Gibober" standing
behind me. Ummm....No, skippy, I'm not a druid or a shaman.)
I say "Wish I could, bro, but I don't have SoW. I'm a Necromancer."
The Petitioner says, "$#*&@#$ **** , sow me already! it's for a cr"
Feeling as if my feathers had been ruffled a bit, I do a "/who all
dumbass" (um..pardon..I meant "/who all petitioner")
This is where I discovered the "/who all" bug. Certainly it must have
been a bug, right? There's NO WAY IN CREATION the
dumbas...err...petitioner could have been a level 31 Dark Elf Wizard,
right???? RIGHT????? /em begins to cry like a little girl.
Well, needless to say, I couldn't have been any more shocked than if
my pet began dancing an Irish Jig. I quickly begin the arduous task of
maintaining my composure, while deciding how best to deal with this
tricky situation.
I say, "Necromancer's can't cast SoW".
Petitioner says, "Bull@#$%! you cast a spell while you were running
and you sped up! i couldn't catch you until you sat down! if you're
not going to sow me just say so you dont have to be a **** about it
a$$hole"
Yes I know....he didn't use any punctuation in that last sentence.
I say, "I have JBoots."
He says, "what are they"
Before I have a chance to pick my chin up off the floor....
Petitioner asks, "can you buff my hps my hp sux"
I say, "I can't buff you, dude. I'm a necromancer. I only have one
buff that you would probably want."
He says, "yeah the one you won't give me **** "
Ok. Time to have fun with the hopelessly clueless.
I say, "Why do you need a sow?"
He says, "i need to get to burned woods to hunt. sumbody said its
perfect for my level"
Yep. That's what he said......"burned woods".
I say, "man are you ever in the wrong place."
He says, "?"
Apparently he found the "question mark" key conveniently located
nearby other various and sundry communication facilitators.
I didn't answer him.
He repeats, "??"
Found it twice...good for him.
He repeats, "???"
Having an IQ greater than plantlife, I sensed a pattern forming.
I say, "You are NO WHERE near Burned Woods."
He says, "my friend told me it was in kunark"
I say, "Yeah, the operative word there is 'WAS'. There was a major
patch a couple of months ago after a bunch of complaints were filed
about 'static content'."
He says, "?"
I say, "!"
He says, "?"
I say, ","
He says, "***"
I say, "no, already have some."
He says, "????"
I don't respond.
He says, "so where the @#$% is burned woods"
He lost the question mark button again. Probably popped off when he
was sniffing his feet.
I say, "Well, THIS week it's south of Freeport. It changes with every
patch, since they began randomizing zone locations."
My guild is hysterical at this point. And I haven't even told them the
ENTIRE story yet. Just snippets.
He says, "@#$% i just got off the boat"
I say, "You don't need the boat."
He says "why"
I say, "You're a wizard!"
He says, "how you know that"
I say, "I did a /wh...nevermind....the important thing is you have
teleportation spells."
He says, "oh yeah the green ones"
I nod.
I say, "Yep. The 'green ones'. Pretty nice how you have them grouped by color."
He says, "thx"
I say, "How'd you think about doing it that way?"
He says, "they were all @#$%## up when i got this char"
I say, "Sit down and mem the spell 'Fay Gate'."
He says, "why"
Question mark key is on the ground in front of your chair, guy. Mixed
in with your collection of boogers.
I say, "It's going to put you within spitting distance of Burned Woods."
He says, "how do you know"
I say, "All patch messages come with a zone connection map."
He says, "oh"
I say, "Ok. You have it memmed now?"
He had just stood up after what I assumed was meditating/looking at
his spell book.
He says, "yeah"
I say, "Ok. Cast the spell and let me know when you get there."
Dumba...errr....Petitioner begins to cast a spell.
A LONG time goes by.....ok, maybe 5 minutes I still haven't heard from him.
Getting curious:
I tell petitioner, "Are you there yet?"
No reply. No reply at all. [Yes, I'm a Genesis fan... ]
Obviously he's there, or my tell wouldn't have gone through.
I tell petitioner, "Hit the 'r' key to reply to me."
He replies, "i'm here now where do i go."
Right idea....wrong punctuation mark. Oh well. "C" for effort.
I tell petitioner, "Ok, do you see a hotkey on the screen that says
'Sense Heading'?"
He replies, "no"
I reply, "Hit the arrow buttons one by one until you see one."
It was a guess, but an educated one.
He replies, "found it"
I reply, "Click on it."
He replies, "north"
I reply, "Ok, you need to head east along the path. Keep going until
the path turns north. When it forks to the right, take the right
fork."
He replies, "ok"
Who knows, maybe the guy who sold his account on Ebay worked his
Felwithe faction up.
He replies, "sumbody told me i shouldnt be here cause i'm a dark elf"
I reply, "They were roleplaying."
He replies, "oh hehe @#$%@#$ morons ;P"
Priceless. Utterly priceless, I tell you.
I reply, "Where are you?"
He replies, "i see something now. looks like a castle"
I reply, "Run into the castle as fast as you can. The guards might
give you some trouble, just keep running."
Yeah...****ed conscience started kicking in.
A fairly long period of time passes. Not sure how long, but longer
than I was expecting.
I tell petitioner, "What happened?"
As if I didn't know....
He replies, "my spells are gone!"
I reply, "What happened?"
He replies, "i died why"
I reply, "Oh man! Did I tell you to run east or west?"
He replies, "east ***???"
I reply, "Yikes. My bad. You should have run west."
He replies, "?"
I reply, "So where are you now?"
He replies, "how can i tell"
I reply, "Look right after you see 'Loading please wait'. It should
tell you 'You have entered [zone]'."
He replies "it doesnt say [zone] there."
After smacking my head against my monitor....
I reply, "What does it say in place of [zone]?".
Get this....
He replies, "Burning Woods"
I nearly fell out of my chair! I couldn't have PLANNED it that way!
He replies, "is that the same as burned woods"
I reply, "No, but you're close. Start running south so you can get
your corpse back."
He replies, "i have to get my corpse back?????"
/ignore petitioner
Moral of the story: EBay...Just Say No!
Out of sheer curiosity, I took him off ignore later to find out what happened.
I tell petitioner, "How's it going?"
He replies, "***? where you been"
I reply, "been afk, sorry."
He replies, "got my corpse back. some dude rezzed me."
My conscience somewhat eased...
I reply, "Really? Cool! Where are you now?"
He replies, "iceclad ocean"
I scratch my head a few times.
I reply, "Why Velious?"
He replies, "the guy that rezzed me told me burned woods was in
western wastes this week"
I don't recall exactly how long it took me to stop laughing. I stopped
breathing shortly before my dog dialed 911.
He replied, "@#$%&;* wouldnt sow me either. what is that sh#$ gold?"
I don't know where this came from, Just randomly pop'd up in my email O.o
_____________________________
Leerooooyyy nngggJJennkkinnss..
A Legend was Born
Comments
Hah where did you find that story, I remember reading that years back, it is still a classic.
Wow, now thats funny.
hehe that story is about 5 years old..
I still say that dood could have sow'd me.. LOL
Make a difference!
I remember that story to, still brings out some laughs!
classic, thank you.
- Tienaere Damondred, 70High Priestess of the Nameless
-Onela Damondred, Necro/Ranger of Guild Wars.
-Onela, Magician/Wizard of Ragnarok.
To the newcomers...
A level 31 wizard back when this was written (Pre-Velious) was an achivement in itself. Many of today most importants folks in various uberguilds where unable to bypass level 22, they where busy regaining their lost XP. Names that are legends todays where losing level 22 about 15 times before reaching level 23, and it was somehow an exponential formulae and some of them where able to level up only because others players took pity on them and give them buffs that should not have been allowed to work on them.
So the initial writter disbelief was indeed quite awesome...a level 31 back then was more requiring then been a level 70 today...levels are quite easy now...it is not a bad thing that levels are easy, but it is a fact...a change. Yes, I was there the first days where Verant put a raiding concept on us and think it was a nice idea...and since the folks in the higher levels refuse this raiding game, they loosen the system so others folks can join in, and they keep loosening it to the point they have a satisfying crew for raiding, excluding their staff in disguise in those guilds. Since yes, they infiltrate every big guild and help them a lot with permanent staff, then when they left at PoP, they buy them airplanes tickets to make them talk about the why they left...This system explain why EQ is what it is, for the better, and for the worst.
The day they make XP easier to gain, I was nearly alone to complain that they steal me that XP. Some peoples complain plainly at the XP progression change, I was not doing that. Some peoples where happy with the XP change, I was happy but complaining. IMO, they should have "refund" the XP from peoples who earn it, in a way or another (AA, free level up on others toons, whatever, I earn this XP and was plainly robbed by the staff when they change the XP progression in the game). Oh well, it was a secondary concern, but it was a concern nonethless, and unlike the folks who are denying this change or praising it, I was somewhere in the middle, saying it was good as long as I didnt lose the XP I already earn...and they just walk away with my already earned XP.
(remember, I am an achiever, I care a LOT about my achievements...I care so much that I cant bear raiding or PvP as an artificial high end to the real game, maybe this is why I found a particuliar person to duo a lot with me just prior the charm nerf, that person was possibly a member of the staff...dunno, but even if the case, this is not really a refund of already earned XP)
- "If I understand you well, you are telling me until next time. " - Ren
Years ago, I read a thread on the main forums called 'Stupid Things I've Done In EQ', and had the time of my life that morning. It was just too much fun. But one story stood out.
This poor sap lol.
It went something like this....
The person in question had just bought the game, and was a total newb. Now, at this point of the thread, he was a well-known and respected player. But at the time in question, he had created a Half-Elf out in Surefall Glade. I sympathized, because that was my first choice too. I still remember the place fondly...
Anyway, he gets a couple levels, comes back the next day thinking he knows what he is doing now, and promptly gets killed.
Corpse run time! Problem is, he doesn't know where his corpse is....
So he starts asking in the zone, "Does anybody see my corpse?" No answer. After a few tries, some smart*** announces, "You need a SoW for a corpse run."
"SoW?"
"It makes you run really fast."
"Where do I get one?"
"Talk to a fire beetle really nice, and it will lead you to your corpse fast."
So Poor Sap runs out into the main zone again, finds the nearest fire beetle, and ... starts talking to it.
"Hello?"
"Will you take me to my corpse?"
"Hello"
"Will you be my SOW?"
Nothing is happening. Meanwhile, some guy comes along and starts killing the fire beetles in the area. At this point Poor Sap is furious!
zonechat - "SOANDSO IS A JERK! HE'S KILLING PEOPLE'S SOWS!"
After a good long while of watching this, a nice Druid girl nearby asked him what in the hell he was doing.
He explained, and in a torrent of LMAO, the Druid explains to him the real meaning of SOW and Corpse Run.
I felt so sorry for that poor guy lol.
__________________________
"For one who seeks what he cannot obtain suffers torture; one who has what is not desirable is cheated; and one who does not seek what is worth seeking is diseased." - Augustine of Hippo
LOL.... That is a great story!
...
This is where I draw the line: __________________.
It was hard but it wasnt that hard. Pre-Velious i pretty much solo'd my shaman to 60 on Bertox. It was alot harder than getting 70 and maxxing your aa's is now but it was also a hell of a lot more fun. After getting my shaman to 60 i retired through velious and came back just before Luclin and started a wizard on another server now 70 with max aa's.
When i look back on it the funniest moments came early for me in EQ. Like losing my first guy at lvl 5 because my gamma correction wasnt that good and black burrow was really BLACK burrow. I fell in and never could recover my corpse. My next guy was a warrior and i got him to 15 i think and someone told me to head to the karana's. I ended up getting ate by lions couldnt remember where i was in west karana(apparently i ran in the wrong direction) and lost that corpse too LOL. My 3rd guy was the shaman and things went much smoother. Many hours waiting on a list kiting .. root, dot, med, run.. root, dot, med, run.. man roots really pissed me off!
The things i miss in EQ is working with the community. Back in the day there were camps EVERYWHERE. Even the icy orcs in everfrost a pidly 5 spawn had a list and sometimes even had 2 groups spliting the 5 LOL. Yeah it was slow and painful but i felt so close to all those people. Back then your reputation meant alot. If you were an ass you got a reputation and although people said "ok, you're on the list" they'd immediately tell the group "LOL you'll never believe who wants a group".
I'm hoping Vanguard will bring back the pain and pleasure of a real struggle. I miss it
PS: Now porting to WC, NK, GF - 10pp per seat!
LOL remember those days?
Make a difference!
Wizard was hard, only in that nobody wanted to group with them. The l337 d00ds all took the powerful wizards, and would end up getting groups wiped out.
But I was a danged good wizard. Once, I waited 3 DAYS to get a group in lower guk just to help me get a part for the staff of the wheel. Remember that one? In the animated hand room? :P
Anyway, this group's bard just quit, furious because he couldn't keep the group alive and they were hunting right near that room. So they invited me instead. Nice folks.
I was 6 levels under them, and not one of them died after I joined them. All they did was tell everybody how great I was to group with, and how useful at any level. I had no problems finding a group after that, and they were nice enough to clear a path for me to get that quest part done.
I got tired of the french druids on tribunal stealing all my kills though, and built a bard instead. After that, not one idiot got a KS off on me. Bard was a great class! They were fun to kill too with my dark elf necro
__________________________
"For one who seeks what he cannot obtain suffers torture; one who has what is not desirable is cheated; and one who does not seek what is worth seeking is diseased." - Augustine of Hippo