Not sure where to go

Hi everyone. I haven't posted on these boards in a very long time, and I come to you all in desparation. It seems every mmo I love, more or less, is destroyed by developer changes or wiped out entirely. While this may seem a little dramatic, these games include Lineage 2's recent F2P change, which is already becoming pay to win, The Matrix Online's shutdown, Shadowbane's shutdown, PSU's shutdown and Warhammer's general community death. In short, my niche has been removed, and I'm trying to find it once more.

To further add to my discontent, there are many mmo's coming over the horizon with TSW and TERA being the two I'm focusing on primaily, but the 4-5 month wait at this point seems like more time than I'm willing to bear wtihout an mmo to indulge in. My hope is that you all may be able to suggest a gem that my many years playing mmo's has not led me to. Allow me to list what I look for and what I abhore in this industry.

What I Avoid

1. Intensely themepark mmorpgs. For example, World of Warcraft. I dislike the hand-holding, lack of accomplishment, and lack of difficulty that mmo's of this style seem to breed. That's not to say that every theme-park mmo is trash, but most of the time they're not for me.

2. Game's with low caps. I really enjoy leveling, I like gaining new gear, I like going through a lot of content, PvE or otherwise. With low cap's, this usually isn't the case even with a steep leveling curve. The only game that's truly given me an issue with this though, is GW1.

Applies to Both

1. Community: This is a HUGE deal for me. I'm not a roleplayer by any means, I even solo from time to time. But I love PvP, and I love an mmo that has a relatively mature community. By the same token, a community saturated by elitists neckbeards or F2P BR overload can ruin it entirely. I'm willing to overlook this if the gameplay is solid, but considering it's an mmo... rarely the case.

What I look For

1. Graphics with style. Meaning, they don't have to be Age of Conan on dx11, they need to have substance. As much as I don't like to harp on the WoW wagon, I sincerely dislike it's 'style'. Every tree looks the same, the polygons can be obvious if anti-aliasing isn't at x12, the gear is comical at best. The colors are alright, but it looks kind of like reading a comic book during an acid trip. Although, The Matrix online's style was incredible to me. A dark urban environment, with completely customizable gear. The weather effects were amazing, news paper blew over the streets, cars honked during traffic. I think the difference is clear, but it's difficult to make this not sound general without many paragraphs.

2. Non-gear based PvP. I cannot stand it when PvP is entirely centered around the one who has the best gear. even in PvE terms, I enjoy it to be at least somewhat skill based. Skill based meaning that it takes more than levels and gear to win. I realize this is almost impossible, but many games I've played are not based around these conventions. Such as PSU, MxO, Shadowbane, Aion (in some cases), Darkfall (near release).