Howdy, Stranger!
It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
Quick Links
General: Never Enough Time
SBFord
Former Associate EditorMember LegendaryPosts: 33,129
In this week's The Rant column, MMORPG.com writer Adam Janovyak bemoans the way life has thrown him unexpected curves that have cut into his MMO time. Things like spouse and children have a way of doing that to a guy. Check out how Adam copes with the lack of time for gaming and then add your comments to tell us how your MMO life is going.
I remember back in my glory days of MMO gaming, I could play for a solid twelve hours or more and have it feel like twenty minutes. Of course back in those days (I should probably toss out that I’m only talking about seven years ago), I really didn’t have any responsibility other than showing up to work on time. Now, it’s a completely different story. My free time is fragmented and scarce due to overwhelming amounts of real life responsibility. These days, it feels like I have more free time at my job than I do at home
Read more of The Rant: Never Enough Time.
Comments
No ones fault but your own for getting married.
Should've just stuck with MMOs and gone for the occasional one night stand. Works wonders for me. 8 hours a day 5 days a week and you'll still have lots of time to play.
As much as it sucks, there's really no middle ground in MMOs. Atleast not if you want to get anywhere.
Amen brother. I'm allowed to PvP after doing some chores and mandatory snuggling.
"Never met a pack of humans that were any different. Look at the idiots that get elected every couple of years. You really consider those guys more mature than us? The only difference between us and them is, when they gank some noobs and take their stuff, the noobs actually die." - Madimorga
I get the whole 'casual' arguement. Believe me, I do. I started playing MMOs 13 years ago while still in grade school, played WoW throughout university and leveled up 10 max level characters (60s, then 70s, now 80s), raided throughout most of the raid content. I now have a job and a wife, so yeah, I do have less "free time" to spend in MMOs.
That said, I've not once complained about my lack of time nor tried to advocate that any of the MMOs that I've played be altered to cater to my changing personal schedule.
I'm still able to find a good bit of time each day to play PC games and MMOs, despite having a full time job and still spending time with my wife. For me, MMOs are a hobby -- even though I'm currently in-between at the moment. A lot of people are able to maintain a full time job, family, social life, and a hobby, you just need to make some adjustments to your schdule at times, and just accept that you can't spend all the time in the world doing what you would prefer.
So rather than trying to change a hobby to cater to you, either accept the limitations, or choose a different hobby.
You know I was really agreeing with you about the whole time issue in your rant until I got to this part.
"Then I’ll probably end up divorced… again… but at least I’ll have more time to play MMOs. Right?"
You had a second chance at marrying a girl that liked games and you blew it. That pretty much blows your rant's credibility out the window as it's more about your life now than time.
That's OK though, I still agree with most of it.
Nice article, it really was a fun read.
Enjoyed the read, definitly feel you going from having tons of time to game to maybe pulling a couple hours every couple of days. That being said, I dont think they should make it easier to level, thats just unfair to the people who have time to commit to the genre, and the genre shouldnt suffer just because of changing lifestyles. That being said, I've always been a fan of nonlevel based games, I find that the dinging of skills / proffesions/ and creation timers to be more fun, for someone like the OP I would consider them like smaller achievements that you can accomplish more often versus the slow but big ding, thats just my taste on it.
Mess with the best, Die like the rest
I had hubby aggro for years ( many moons ago). Luckily at that time I got him into gaming and he was as hooked as I. We played during our free time after doing chores, before/after work and the weekends were crazy quest marathons. Aaah those were the days.
Now I'm single (yay) and my adult kids play with me on occasion.
My opinion is mixed regarding making games easier since I don't have a problem with 'grind'. Raids on the other hand shouldn't be 4 or 6 hours in this day and age of busy lifestyles.
maybe you shouldn't revolve your life around MMOs?
People evolve and change. I think just about every decade for me has brought about a different focus in life. If you don't change at all I think that would be strange, so it makes sense your perceptions of life and what you want out of it might change.
I second this comment. I remember the great times I had in EverQuest, spending hours upon hours with guild friends or just random people that were at the levelling stage. Even though I don't have the time to dedicate to a game like that anymore, I would never want MMO's to change to cater to my schedule (although most already have).
If even one person can have just half the enjoyment that I've had from older MMO's then I'd be happy, regardless of if I could join them in that enjoyment or not.
Great article - spot on for us older guys married to non-gamer wives. My wife tried and likes LOTRO, but we both have so much other things that we HAVE to do, that gaming gets a back seat. Oh well, at least she lets me play MMos with our nephew Friday nights!
<p align=center><a target=_blank href=http://www.nodiatis.com/personality.htm><img border=0 src=http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/20.jpg></a></p>;
I really enjoyed that article, actually. Made me smile, especially near the end. It's difficult juggling a life and juggling fun, because your life is more important, especially when you have people in it that depend on you (children, wife).
I wish more often than not that I was single, but most of us understand that if we were, it wouldn't be the same. That gaming existence would feel empty, given enough time. What we really need is someone that's like, there...but not. A presence, but one that's content to do their own thing and ignore you until it's time for smexin' and warming the other side of the bed. With any luck we can just build us one of those one day. C'mon, science!
As for gaming, while I can sympathize (and partake) in the plight with time-consuming gaming, I do think there should be a quality MMO for those who like it more hardcore. They are admittedly a smaller portion of the gaming community, but it's still a large enough pool of players that it could be successful, if they just got it right. The market is oversaturated with 'casual' games, there really should be something more current for those who like it old school. I'm not talking Ultima/EQ either; say what you will, but people want updated graphics. I'm talking something fresh and new.
"Forums aren't for intelligent discussion; they're for blow-hards with unwavering opinions."
I probably should have stopped reading when I read "things like spouse and children have a way of doing that to a guy". Like a woman in the relationship never has any desire for hobbies, and it's a given that she wants to deal with work, chores, and children every minute of every day. Right.
I can relate to not having as much time for gaming when in a relationship, however there appears to be lack of communication and understanding within the relationship if you have to feel guilty any time you sit down and play. I've been in a very healthy and working relationship for 10+ years. Key is respect and allowing each other to be individuals. You don't have to both be playing the same MMO, but it should be understood that EACH party gets fun time for their hobby. If this is a constant issue, you two should probably sit down and talk.
That said, I don't think Adam "gets it" and shouldn't have gotten himself in this situation to begin with. Hekket (first commenter) was pretty dead on with his response (quote:"should've just stuck with MMOs and gone for the occasional one night stand"), it's not like marriage and children is an absolute must, and if it makes you unhappy, it's not fair to anyone involved. My advice is to figure out what the hell you want, communicate, and make adjustments accordingly.
This is why I love Jade Dynasty. Built in legal Bot(Esper). I can set my character up to play even when I cant be at the computer, and with a full time job family kid and social life I find more often than not I cant be at the computer. However in JD i can still keep up with my friends and those hardcore gamers without falling behind.
There are games out there adjusting to the busy persons lyfestyle who would still love to be a hardcore gamer if life allowed them. I think its a great move in the right direction for games.
Thinking of Playing Jade Dynasty? Read Here First!
It's about all of us - old school gamers, started years ago. Great writing.
You can try to find more "fast" game but either they are not interesting or no matter how old you are, your gameplay style does not change.
I laughed... I cried... I kissed 3 minutes goodbye... ^^ While silly, that was entertaining. But I totally agree with the lack of time part(at least at that stage). Just wait until later when you combine lack of time, and lack of energy/focus... ^^
At least my wife plays some games(WoW and some of the console games, WII, PS3 and Xbox360). My daughter on the other hand is more into gaming than I was at her age.
Good article fun to read poor you
The keyword is hobby , thats all i can say for none understanding people .
Hobby takes time money and dedication , so if you are unlucky enough to find a none gamer wife or husband .
Sorry say its your hobby and they have to respect that .
And say you trade in going out time , or else she has to trade in her hobby :P
Who stole my coffee ?
I played Teletubbies World Online... and my life is ruined !
Poor guys :P
Wow there for a while I though this guy was writing an article about my life.
Hmmm very interesting.
The OP has basically written about my life; both past, and present.
Back in the day (circa 2000), my wife was still in graduate school, and as such, had very little time for anything other than studying. It was about this time that a friend of mine turned me onto Asheron's Call. Need I say more
My wife has since graduated, and our family has recently expanded to include a baby girl.
Suffice to say, my gaming time has greatly decreased. But, I wouldn't change a thing
People used to farmfrom sunup to sundown, kill things for food, discover stuff, like continents,raise civilzations, raze civilzations.
I still spend hour and hours a day looking up mmo stuff, playing mmos.
Maybe the pizza orbits the PC or maybe its the other way around. I don't know. I'm not a scientist.
That would take time away from mmos.
Precious little time I have to live in mmos!
The Stranger: It's what people know about themselves inside that makes 'em afraid.
Yeah, I'll second this from and I got two kids and a wife. You screwed up by not letting her know it was important to you from the get go. My wife has always known. I told her from day one when we meet 10 years ago and I just graduated high school and she was still in it. I enjoy playing on my computer and its my most precious item in life. (Well material that is anyways) A house is a house, a car gets me to point a to b be in the Jeep or Minivan, but a computer...its bloody super.
I know people like you though, and they all complain about the same thing, yet for everyone like you there is another one like me(as seen above). Even when I'm when travel time to work and working is 12hrs, I still manage to spend 2hrs with the kids before they go to bed, and hour with the wife, and another 2-3 gaming each night. Weekends roll around and friday night tends to be an allnighter. It isn't a weekend if you do go to work on monday beat to hell the guys in my trailor always told me when I started.
Many of my days off fall during the week so I am able to game then since my Fiance works M-F. I also work an afternoon shift so she gets to bed earlier than I have too allowing me some late night gaming too. I'm sure once we have a kid my levelling will go down the tubes LOL! I would also recommend buying a new construction house so you can spend less time doing repairs and more time levelling. My 30 year old house has cost me many levels!
She knew I loved to game since shortly after we met. She even lets me have buddies over to game every now and then. My advice is definitely to let a future companion know of your love for gaming soon in the relationship so that it doesn't get in the way later. Also use common sense and don't let it interfere with your quality time spent together. Oh and yes I've had to use the "I need to finish the dungeon" or "I can't save until I get to a certain point" excuse many times.... sad thing is us gamers know these excuses are legitimate!
You people singing this tune NOW, will think differently once you start to really get old and have health problems and no one to help you when you're sick. Those one night stand gfs....don't really care about you and are not likely going to be at your bedside in the hospital.
But go ahead and enjoy it while it lasts. I did too when I was young enough that getting old and ill never crossed my mind. I didn't worry about being alone when I was old then. Hell I thought I'd live forever too. Feeling that way is just part of the process of life. Just remember what I'm sayin' here when you're old. Don't live to regret giving your heart to games ONLY. Game are awesome fun, but they're not going to fill some of your needs as you age.
Not tryin' to be a downer, just speakin' the truth.
AND....
LONG LIVE GAMING AND GAMERS!
(I'm really grateful that I married a gamer.)
President of The Marvelously Meowhead Fan Club
Back in the days MMORPGs were good enough so you would want to spend a 10 hour stretch playing them. What MMORPG these day is fun, immersive and competetive enough for that?
All easy, casual, linear themeparks that play like a single player game and it does not matter if you dont log on for an hour or a month because there is no persistant, evolving world to speak of.
My gaming blog
Couldn't agree more with Just1Opinion.
Winding up alone is scary--although marrying solely to avoid it does no one any favors, in my opinion. There has to be much more to a lasting relationship than that.
Marrying the LikeMinded, especially when it comes to common interests (like gaming, for instance) is the glue that holds people together. Opposites might attract, but (at least in my experience) after a period of exposure they begin to wear on each other and repel.
My husband and I get along so well because we are so very much alike. Our common hobby IS gaming, so we find time--and lots of it--to play together. YAY for being alike!