Howdy, Stranger!
It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
Quick Links
Spanking Your Kids.. Ok or Not Okay?
popinjay
Member Posts: 6,539
Was recently reading a story about a judge sentencing a parent to jail for spanking a child with a belt. The judge told the parent that spanking with a belt is never acceptable.
It made me wonder how people think about corporal punishment nowadays and if that's the current societal thinking, away from what it was 30 or 40 years ago.
Do you think spanking children/kids is okay or parents should be jailed? If you think spanking is okay, which of these methods do you think should be allowed and at what age should it be allowed?
1. Hand
2. Belt
3. Slipper/Shoe
4. Ruler
5. Tree switch
6. Bath robe rope
7. Rolled up newspaper or magazine
8. Flyswatter
9. Extention cord
10. Anything within reach to teach the little bugger a lesson as long as you don't draw blood is okay.
Also, if you think spanking is okay but know the judge will lock you up for doing it, would you still do it anyways knowing you'll go to jail?
Comments
Taking my toys away always sucked 10x more than any hit could have.
The Official God FAQ
As much as many people want the excuse of "teaching them" to take their frustration out on a child it has been proven time and time again there are much better ways to teach the child.
I don't see why it's ok to assault a child but we can't then do the same thing to a adult.
It should never be done and treated as what it is, a form of child abuse.
"A stupid idea to you is the memory of a lifetime for me"
I think it's okay if done sparingly. The child needs reinforcement emotionally, not just physically. There are times when it's necessary... but not from anything that will ever leave a mark, bruise.. or cut .. what have you.
Above all though, they need positive reinforcement so they understand why they are being punished, otherwise there is absolutely no point. When I mean "understand", I mean to understand beyond terms of "right and wrong", they need to realize the repercussions of their negative actions.
If you get mad at your child because he left his toy on the floor and daddy tripped on it, then you need to explain to that child how he hurt daddy because he left the toy lying on the ground. Allow him/her to decide on their own to fix their mistake, let them progress into feeling basic responsibility, before you just "punish them". It's counter-productive.
I never thought I'd ever get the opportunity to agree wtih you
after 6 or so years, I had to change it a little...
Personally I was spanked by hand and belt depending on how bad the situation was. I am all for it because I have no emotional scars from the process. It simply taught me that for every action I took there was a consequence and physical pain was one of those consequences. My dad always ask me if I knew what I did wrong. He would explain if I didnt. Then he asked me if I deserved to be punished. If I did I always said yes. I got punished. I felt better in a way because I knew everything was all better. I was forgiven. I didnt have to get punished again if I learned from my lessons. Mind you my dad was very gentle. In a way I have a great deal for my dad. He did what taught me that pain sucks and I can help it if I want to stop it.
Yes parents should be allowed to spank their children. Sometimes it to much but now at all is stupid.
Hold on Snow Leopard, imma let you finish, but Windows had one of the best operating systems of all time.
If the Powerball lottery was like Lotro, nobody would win for 2 years, and then everyone in Nebraska would win on the same day.
And then Nebraska would get nerfed.-pinkwood lotro fourms
AMD 4800 2.4ghz-3GB RAM 533mhz-EVGA 9500GT 512mb-320gb HD
Never in anger. Not with a weapon. Open hand only. Used sparingly as pointed out above.
"The liberties and resulting economic prosperity that YOU take for granted were granted by those "dead guys"
1. Hand
2. Belt
3. Slipper/Shoe
4. Ruler
5. Tree switch
6. Bath robe rope
7. Rolled up newspaper or magazine
8. Flyswatter
9. Extention cord
10. Anything within reach to teach the little bugger a lesson as long as you don't draw blood is okay.
Ive been hit atleast Once with almost everything on the list(Not 6...). Only half were from my parents. I learned something from each. Only one I got more than once was the good old Hand. The word belt and I Snapped back into my place.
And the parents shoulda gotten a better Lawer. thats Bs.
If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude; greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.
Samuel Adams
Corporal punishment is actually still legal in the State of Florida in public schools. If done in an appropriate manner and with the consent of the parents.
Spanking done in an appropriate fashion can be effective and useful. The example I learned while getting my psychology degree compares spanking to touching a hot stove. It provides that same type of negative consequence to prevent a undesirable behavior.
Currently playing:
LOTRO & WoW (not much WoW though because Mines of Moria rocks!!!!)
Looking Foward too:
Bioware games (Dragon Age & Star Wars The Old Republic)
lol this thread reminds me of russel peters famous clip: www.youtube.com/watch
On a more serious note, yes parents should be allowed to, but without causing bodily harm. Of course there's also psychology damage parents can cause, which can at times be worse than physical damage. It's a fine line to walk.
EQ1-AC1-DAOC-FFXI-L2-EQ2-WoW-DDO-GW-LoTR-VG-WAR-GW2-ESO
I'd rather my kid not learn to hit poeple when they do things you don't like.
Then your kid hits somebody he doesn't like, so you hit him to teach him not to hit people...
Maybe I'm just too liberal but there seems to be a a flaw in that chain of events.
/me opens can of worms :P
after 6 or so years, I had to change it a little...
Negative reinforcement when used in conjunction with positive reinforcement has shown to be as effective if not more effective in many cases. Simply put no two children are alike and all will respond differently to spankings. Wording has alot to do with it. Snatching a child up and hitting them with a belt then walking away i could say is child abuse. Taking that same child setting them down, discussing what they did and why its wrong then explaining to them that they are receiving the spanking as a consequence of their bad behavior is not abuse. Also setting clear guidlines and following them such as if you don't do your homework tonite you will get 2 licks, if you complete your homework early you'll get that popsicle. What kid wouldn't try to finish early to avoid the licks and get a treat. Personaly I recieved spankings and don't think it was a bad thing.
Yes it's ok in certain situations and I think open hand.
Edit: for Munki, I never hit people unless its to defend myself which rarely has been needed as I tend to avoid those kinds of confrontations so your argument is slightly flawed as well. Spankings does not equal learning to hit others.
Spanking your child is sooooo old fashioned.
We have tasers now.........
Although I do believe that spanking can be a good teaching tool I think it should be used only for extreme cases of misbehavior. My two boys are 10 and 12 and I think I've spanked them a grand total of about 5 times combined and only for acts of extreme stupidity that put themselves or their sibling in real danger of death or serious injury. I would NEVER hit a child anywhere but on the fleshy part of their butt and NEVER with anything but an open hand. Like I said though it should be used only in extreme cases when a time out or "no TV andor Video games" won't quite get the point across of how upset you are at their actions.
Edit: Just to add a point to my statement above. I always sit down with my sons and ask them what they did wrong. If they don't know I explain it to them in detail and also why it's unacceptable. 80%-90% of the time this is enough as I can tell if they understand and usually the issue gets dropped and we move on. When a punishment is in order I usually just take their TV away for a day to a week depending on the offense which includes video games and computer time. I never deal with my kids angry. If I'm angry I'll tell the child to leave until I calm down enough to deal with the situation. Sometimes the wait for daddy to calm down is the worse punishment as it gives them time to think about the possible outcomes from their actions.
Bren
while(horse==dead)
{
beat();
}
I won't pass comments, but as far as I'm concerned I could never spank my daugther, even in cases of extreme misbehaviour. When she misbehaves I change the tone of my voice and quietly ask her to sit down with me so I can tell her exactly what she did, why it's not appropriate and why I'm reacting to it. 95% of the time she responds positively to this and I can see in her face that she understands and is somewhat ashamed of her actions/words. Physical punishment towards her would mean that I take something away from myself, in my role as protector, guide, father and mentor. I understand that some children are just wayyyyy out there and parents can react in frustration, not trying to get on the high horse here.
As a kid I actually enjoyed playing outside more than with any toy... so taking toys away would not have worked well with me. You have to adapt your childs punishment to their personality. I to have been struck by every item on that list, and I would say it worked and I thank my Dad for correcting my beligerent behavior. The trick is to not spank your child when your raging angry, do it when your calm and cool.
My grandmother spanked me in anger with a shoe once... I laughed at her it felt like she was tickling my ass, talk about pissing g'ma off.
Principals used to have a paddle in their office when I was in grade school.
Now they have metal detectors and cops stationed around the school.
Apparently the latter is better.
My youtube MMO gaming channel
Horsewhip is what I used to get.
Or the Sargeant Major's cane if I had already hidden all the horsewhips.
My Latin teacher would beat me around the head with his hockeystick if I got my declentions wrong. We all thought he was ace.
I don't really have an issue with capital punishment. As those delightful school teachers in Malawi say....
"If you don't beat them, how will they learn?"
I don't agree with such punishment in general so I leave it on a case by case situation. Personally I have been slapped once by my father when I was little because he left for 40 secs and I started playing with the kitcehn oven. When he came back he found me in front of the kitchen oven playing with it and having turned it on because I liked the pretty lights it had when it was hot:P
What I am totally against is when such punishment is administered by 3rd parties such as teachers. From my point of view if a teacher needs that to administer discipline in their class then they don't do their job properly.
A friend is not him who provides support during your failures.A friend is the one that cheers you during your successes.
i used to get it with tree switches and belts..but yea im all for punishment..i dunno about extension cords and stuff like that.. but i do know gettin spanked with a switch will sit your ass straight quickly lol..i think if me and my brother didnt get spanked we would of been mean as hell kids. so i thank my parents for that
gamertag - Swaffle House
I believe a spanking and being put in a time out situation is ok. Theres a line, i dont believe you should beat a child. But a spanking is far from a beating. Even if it is with a switch. And people can say all they want that taking away toys or being put in a corner is as effective, but i call bullshit. Im not that old, 24, and i remember being a kid. Id stay out of trouble to avoid a spanking more then i would to keep a toy from being revoked. And i had both happen, since my father worked alot and my mother didnt like spanking us.
Theres alot of "experts" that have said alot of things. But ive seen first hand the way some children act when their parents put them in time out and refuse to spank them, and ive seen children that get spanked. The latter always seem more respectful, more well behaved.
So for me, ill spank my children up to an appropriate age. I remember i didnt get any spankings after 11 or 12. Thats when more social restrictions were used in my household. Since its about that age that getting out and freedom really become the most important thing in a kids life.
Im proud of the way i was brought up. And when my children need a spanking ill do as my father did, and as his father did. As for the rest of the country, they can listen to whoever they like, and put whatever spin on it they like.
I just hope they remember, when their children grow and get into the real world, jail is a time out and a spanking. Though it doesnt always work on people that age, Its a whole hell of a lot worse than any spanking id give my child so he knows right from wrong.
I didn't get anymore whippings after the age of 15. This had more to do with my physical ability to prevent them than my improved maturity
You know as well as I do that some people in life cannot be reasoned with or verbally disciplined, that at times you will meet some one who is hell bent of starting a fight with you and will not stop until they do.
It's not just adults that behave in that way. If you don't empower a teacher to take all reasonable sanctions for discipline, then you tie his hands. You don't give him the necessary authority to do his job properly and you send a message to the children that the teachers authority is not final that if they like they can just tell him to F off and he won't be able to do anything about it.
You should also understand that there are moments when discipline must be enacted swiftly to avert danger. If a child is pissing about beyond control while crossing the road in heavy traffic, you do not have time to take him aside and explain the errors of his ways to him. A swift clout round the ear bucks him up and allows you to get him and all the other children safely across the road as fast as possible.
As a parent you may want the teacher to individually take aside your child and explain the error of his ways to him until he understands, but as a teacher you have a responsability to the whole class and not just any one student. Swift sharp discipline is a very useful tool for crowd management.
If you aren't willing to back the teachers total disciplinary authority, you shouldn't send your kid to school. Teach them yourself at home (with the other pampered weakling children). Either you are willing to give another adult responsability to help raise your child, or you aren't. Trying to second guess their decisions only seeks undermine the authority you have abdicted to them.
You know as well as I do that some people in life cannot be reasoned with or verbally disciplined, that at times you will meet some one who is hell bent of starting a fight with you and will not stop until they do.
It's not just adults that behave in that way. If you don't empower a teacher to take all reasonable sanctions for discipline, then you tie his hands. You don't give him the necessary authority to do his job properly and you send a message to the children that the teachers authority is not final that if they like they can just tell him to F off and he won't be able to do anything about it.
You should also understand that there are moments when discipline must be enacted swiftly to avert danger. If a child is pissing about beyond control while crossing the road in heavy traffic, you do not have time to take him aside and explain the errors of his ways to him. A swift clout round the ear bucks him up and allows you to get him and all the other children safely across the road as fast as possible.
As a parent you may want the teacher to individually take aside your child and explain the error of his ways to him until he understands, but as a teacher you have a responsability to the whole class and not just any one student. Swift sharp discipline is a very useful tool for crowd management.
If you aren't willing to back the teachers total disciplinary authority, you shouldn't send your kid to school. Teach them yourself at home (with the other pampered weakling children). Either you are willing to give another adult responsability to help raise your child, or you aren't. Trying to second guess their decisions only seeks undermine the authority you have abdicted to them.
First of all I was raised in a family of teachers. That means that like most kids at that time that had such parents I had to go through much stricter discipline than most.
Aside of that it's one thing to empower the teacher and another to promote abusive behaviour as a valid way to promote discipline. We are talking about schools here and not boot camps that train navy seals.
Physical discipline imo is a last resort method and not something to be used casually in place of less invasive means.
I agree with you though that yes, no system should castrate the teacher or diminish his authority, since they have full responsibility if something happens to the children. But would that system hold the teacher liable in case his method actually make the child worse? And if yes how would you prove it? That's why corporal punishment is a bit tricky.
Ps. To clarify a bit here, by physical discipline I refer to things like spanking with a stick and such. I agree with slapping but I know such a thing should be applied according to the situations as they arise.
A friend is not him who provides support during your failures.A friend is the one that cheers you during your successes.
well, coming from someone who was hit open handed, closed handed and with belts Id say if you were to do any sort of physical punishment its best to not use your hands. Hands are for giving affection, not causing harm to your children. I think back on all the times my father would ..for whatever reason punish me or my brother the times that stick out are the times he layed his hands on me.
without going into too much detail, I dont think physical punishment is the proper course. Its hard for me to judge this, but I cannot imagine myself hitting any of my future children for discipline only because I know how it effected me. Maybe it was because my punishments were a bit over the top. Getting punched in the mouth at the dinner table for getting a D is one of my fondest memories as a 17 year old. Hell I still remember the last time I was hit by him, he punched me square in the temple the day they came home from a vacation because I didnt mow the grass. He apologized for that *shrug*. Anyway, I just think there are better and more respectable ways to discipline a child. If your kids cannot obey you without turning to physical harm, then there may be other issues going on.
"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a robot foot stomping on a human face -- forever."
That sounds the most preferable for the kids. I wish that was my parents choice of tool when I was a kid - a cloth bathrobe rope.
And, I agree with Sab. Taking away my toys and then grounding me to my room was the worst punishment. You develop an immunity to spankings, not boredom.