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Why no one cares about the Olympics
Clever_Glove
Member Posts: 996
As discussed in this thread:
I have comprised a list why no body really gives a damn about the Olympics. I'll give you a brief history to the origins of the events and why no one really cares about them.
Running:
Running is a way to get somewhere, not a sport initself unless your life depends on it.
Perhaps the best place to see a short leg race is on Cops. Watching a guy "book it" down a street with 100K in cash over his shoulder while getting shot at by the FBI can be entertainment. Watching someone run to the store to buy a loaf of bread, not so much. See my point.
Even the Ancient Olympics had to jazz up this snoozer of event by adding lions.
The Marathon:
This event got started by a guy running 25 miles and dropping dead. I'm not exactly sure why anyone thought it was a good idea to make this a event, much less sign up for it. However, having people drop dead during this 6 hour borefest still would not make it entertaining.
Throwing the damn plates:
Woman everywhere have been practicing this fine art since the begaining of time, when a dolt for a husband makes some comment about "woman drivers", Whack! over the head with a plate.
Over the centuries, some woman have gotten to the point where they smack their husband with a plate while he's standing down the street bragging to his friends about how many girls he "bagged" in collage.
While I can see the entertainment value in this, do we really want to turn domestic violence into a Olympic event?
While I can see the entertainment value in this, do we really want to turn domestic violence into a Olympic event?
The ball and chain:
Have you ever heard the old expression, "It's better to tie a rock around your neck and cast yourself into the sea than to have a rebellious wife?" Well, that is exactly how this event got started.
It started with the husband of the first geek that mastered "throwing the damn plates". This new event consisted of getting a round ball and attaching himself to it, then giving a good "put" over a cliff.
Sadly this event has been washed down for family viewing reasons. I may have watched it in it's original form.
Sadly this event has been washed down for family viewing reasons. I may have watched it in it's original form.
Javelin:
This was thought up by woman that had ran out of plates, pottery, shoes, and anything else hard.
While I respect the potential injury that could make this event exciting, a javelin doesn't loft off into the bleachers enough to make it worth the time.
Decathlon:
Decathlon:
While this event sounds exciting, it really isn't a mad free-for-all of people decking each other. Yes, I was disappointed to learn this also.
What is it? A bunch of neat skills used by husbands to escape when the mother In-law pays a visit. Such as high jumping the fence, pole vaulting higher fences, long jumping creeks and generally running like hell. I'm not sure how this could get turned into a Olympic event, who wants to watch some verbally abusive husband attempt to escape the inevitable repercussions of his actions? Not I.
Shooting:
Don't get to excited, this is not the real-life version of Unreal Tournament.
It's a guy shooting a gun into the air over and over. Once in a while a "Pigeon" is hit. Sadly they aren't actually shooting birds, that might have been entraining. Instead they shot these little clay disks, witch did nothing to deserve it.
I know what your thinking, and your correct. The gun was invented as a means of countering the wife that has mastered "throwing the damn plates".
It's a guy shooting a gun into the air over and over. Once in a while a "Pigeon" is hit. Sadly they aren't actually shooting birds, that might have been entraining. Instead they shot these little clay disks, witch did nothing to deserve it.
I know what your thinking, and your correct. The gun was invented as a means of countering the wife that has mastered "throwing the damn plates".
**note: nearly all feminist organizations support gun control, this is that reason.
Wrestling:
I'm pretty sure this was invented by two guys that both had been recently chased off by something dumb done to their wives in bed. (If your not sure she's going to find it sexy, you probably should keep it to yourself)
While the guys rolling around together are getting entertainment from this. I don't see why anyone would want to watch it. Yikes! I'd rather gouge my eyes out, witch saddly isn't allowed.
How long until getting marriage in San Francisco becomes an Olympic event?
How long until getting marriage in San Francisco becomes an Olympic event?
Gymnastics:
Mens:
For the guys that keep losing at Wrestling. (by choice)
Womans:
While there is potential entertainment in watching woman bend themselves in odd ways..... she's like .... 10 years old dude. Your sick! Seriously, get away from me! Your going to do some jail time if you knock that crap off.
Ping Pong:
While many of you may be to young to know this, Pong was around before Nintendo existed. Yes there was such a time.
The basic idea is you have one gray block on one side of the screen, and one on the other. You hit a square around that is a "ball". If get the square past the block enough times you win.
It looked just like the below:
While I understand not all countries are as technologically advanced as others, they could at least rent a PS2. Who wants to watch this! This is just lame.
As you can see from the list above, most Olympic events can be traced back to some form of spousal abuse, or derived from it. There is no wonder why no one cares about these lame events, unless of course you are a abusive spouse. In witch case you better pay attention.
Do yourself a favor, play a MMORPG instead.
-=-=-=-=-
"We're a game that's focused on grouping and on solo play, you know, more group oriented, more solo play..."
John Blakely Senior lead for EQ2. Link
Bartle: A: 93% E: 55% S:3% K: 50% The Test. Learn what it means here.
Comments
I got a good laugh from that post. However, you might not have wanted to put the George Carlin joke in the beginning. You could have slipped it in somewhere unnoticed (except by me).
Anyway, good post. Entertaining. Funny.
One last point, the girls in Women's Gymnastics are actually around 18 usually. Some of the young looking ones are even around 21. What is the problem? If you do gymnastics all of your life, you don't develop much clevage. This is due to the stretching.
ha that was a good post
. we need more post like these to pass the day
Oh well, if anything it's provided eye-candy for the ladies... ehehehhe
Mmmm buff men swimming
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OI, the people in the Olympics are pretty disgusting looking. Its so weird how their bodies get deformed and grow differently from what sport they play. The female volleyball players look totally different than the female swimmers, and its the same with both sexes and all the different events. I don't think the Olympics really mean that much because basically, these people have trained their entire lives to excell in these competitions. Hell, if I was raised to do that stuff, then I could be in the Olympics too. I feel bad for these people. They usually miss out on large parts of life and experiences while their working hard to become the best or whatnot. I also feel bad for the people who don't come in first. I would probably kill myself if I worked my whole life for something, then failed... gah. How disappointing. Well, just my thoughts, and why I don't watch the Olympics.
You can sleep when your dead.
You can sleep when your dead.
That was deliberate, although this time it was such a lose similarity, I'm surprised someone picked up on it.
Generally I like to mix in loose references to other media, just see how's paying attention.
Kudo's for knowing the classics.
For those to young to know what they are missing, be sure to check out "Playin' With Your Head" at your local media outlet. http://www.emusic.com/cd/10605/10605355.html
-=-=-=-=-
"We're a game that's focused on grouping and on solo play, you know, more group oriented, more solo play..."
John Blakely Senior lead for EQ2. Link
Bartle: A: 93% E: 55% S:3% K: 50% The Test. Learn what it means here.
-=-=-=-=-
Achievers realise that killers as a concept are necessary in order to make achievement meaningful and worthwhile (there being no way to "lose" the game if any fool can "win" just by plodding slowly unchallenged). -bartle
Bartle: A: 93% E: 55% S:3% K: 50% The Test. Learn what it means here.
I am a big fan of George Carlin
"Swimming, swimming isn't a sport, swimming is a way to keep you from drowning!"
or
"You know how we can make baseball more exciting? Land mines. 'And (I forgot the name he used) is going back, he is going to get it! BABOOOOOOOOOM!' Holy shit."
God. George Carlin is the greatest.
Yep, miss out on a lot like sitting in front of a PC for 40 hours a week playing an MMORPG. These poor athletes...
These sports help these people get great educations (swimmers, divers, gymnasts, etc. get scholarships just like football players). A lot of them get good endorsement deals later and make good money. There is nothing wrong with pursuing athletics.
Not true about Education. It was talking in the paper about how many athletes just forget about college and use all their endorsement money and sometimes they don't even get a job.
That may be true, but it doesn't mean the opportunity isn't there.
There are always going to be people who do not take advantage of opportunities passed their way. But just because there are people like that doesn't mean that following a life of athletics is a waste of your life.
I know that. Infact, I am hoping for my own shot at the Olympics in 2012. I will still be a nice age to be on the swim team. And it is in New York, my home city. Perfect.
-=-=-=-=-
"We're a game that's focused on grouping and on solo play, you know, more group oriented, more solo play..."
John Blakely Senior lead for EQ2. Link
Bartle: A: 93% E: 55% S:3% K: 50% The Test. Learn what it means here.
-=-=-=-=-
Achievers realise that killers as a concept are necessary in order to make achievement meaningful and worthwhile (there being no way to "lose" the game if any fool can "win" just by plodding slowly unchallenged). -bartle
Bartle: A: 93% E: 55% S:3% K: 50% The Test. Learn what it means here.
Hardy har har har.
I like the olympics man. Anyone who doesn't care about the Olympics is just crazy, stupid, don't have a life (heh), don't care about supporting their own country and seeing the worlds best of every country . . . etc.
PPl who don't care about Olympics =
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
I am happy the "Dream Team" is losing. I hate basketball and all those players.
-=-=-=-=-
"We're a game that's focused on grouping and on solo play, you know, more group oriented, more solo play..."
John Blakely Senior lead for EQ2. Link
Bartle: A: 93% E: 55% S:3% K: 50% The Test. Learn what it means here.
-=-=-=-=-
Achievers realise that killers as a concept are necessary in order to make achievement meaningful and worthwhile (there being no way to "lose" the game if any fool can "win" just by plodding slowly unchallenged). -bartle
Bartle: A: 93% E: 55% S:3% K: 50% The Test. Learn what it means here.
I can see the vhs cover set now.
"Getting Misty with Kerri on the sand"
"Bonus - Live Action with the AOB Crew!"
I'm surprised that this passed the olympic comittee, but who's watching anyway right?
Nice thread Glove, its good to hear from you again.
- Malkavian
"When you find youself sinking into Madness, dive" - Malkavian Proverb
- MMORPG.COM Staff -
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"When you find yourself sinking into Madness, dive"
I care about my country. Just because i don't watch somebody (who got kicked out of their own country and imported to Canada) run a few laps doesn't mean that's supporting your country. If you want to support your country pick up garbage, do volunteer work in your town.
And what's the deal with people saying "Woo! We won!". How the f*** did YOU win? You sat down on the couch and watched t.v. Are you supporting him? No, he doesn't even know your there. If anything, you are supporting your local t.v. channel, because right now they are filthy rich (not to mention so are the athletes).
During the olympics i went to downtown Toronto with my friends, headed over to the beach, went to an amusement park. Sorry i don't have a life for parking my ass down on a chair and watching the t.v.
Playing: Zangbandtk
Played: AO, CoH, DAoC, Horizons, Planetside, SWG
Tested: Lineage II, AC2...and more
Favorite MMO so far: DAoC
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Playing: Rogue
Played: AO, CoH, DAoC, EQII, Horizons, Planetside, SWG
Tested: AC2, Lineage II, Vanguard, WoW...and more
Actually, if New York agrees to build the stadium, it will definitely be there.