I hate WoW, I love WoW, I hate WoW, I love WoW

The World of Warcraft mantra; the eternal struggle of gamers world-wide.

But WHY this love-hate relationship for a collection of rapidly changing pixels and little 1's and 0's?

For the past 15 and a half minutes I have been collecting a veritable wealth of scientific research into this strange phenomenon. I have invested every nanosecond of this time to provide all of you with irrefutable evidence to suggest that Blizzard is merely the pawn of a shadowy organisation known as "ID-10-7" This organisation is responsible for such abominations as:

The OWLBIT

The Chicken Suit!

So what does this organisation want to do with a game that's so evidently popular as WoW? Well, the answer lies with the number #1 addict of World Of Warcraft - Mr Clint Eastwood:

As you can see, Mr. Eastwood has undergone some... changes, recently. He has in fact become polygonated as a direct result of playing WoW. This could happen to you. This could happen to your children. This could happen to that smelly fat guy who lives in his parent's basement - but who cares about him? - This could happen to YOU!

The Hasselfhoff chart above suggests that there are currently almost 100% Hoffs to polygon people in the world! And that's not all, family planning clinics world wide have reported strange birth defects recently.

If your child looks like this:

Seek medical advice immediately, and stop playing WoW!

Remember, the first signs to you becoming a polygon person, or your child becoming one of the cow people is either by loving or hating WoW. Try for the middle ground if you must play it, but I suggest you cease playing WoW immediately. Go outside, breathe some fresh air, and hope to God that the polygon people or cow people don't come looking for you.

This has been a public service announcement.