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Love?

outfctrloutfctrl Member UncommonPosts: 3,619

Ok, here goes.  From what I have seen on here, there is a diverse age group that frequents this forum. 

I have been divorced for 10 years and swore I would never get involved again. I dont think I know what love feels like anymore, for that matter whether I have ever been in love.  I met this woman about a month ago and have been seeing her on a regular basis, like lunch, dinners and a few pubs.  I just cant seem to get her off my mind.  I have never wanted to see a woman more than a few times before, but for some reason, this one is different. 

We havent really been intimate, well.......maybe a little.  I didnt want to just hop in the sack with her, I wanted to just be around her.  She seems to feel the same way. Oh, BTW she is 47.  What does love really feel like?  Am I just infatuated with her?   She is a very beautiful woman in all aspects. I know it sounds strange coming from a 55 yr old.  I drink hard, ride hard and can be a little rough at times, but this woman seems to tame me in some way......WTF.

What is love?  What kind of physical feelings do you get?

 

 

 

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Comments

  • kel11kel11 Member Posts: 1,089
    I hear wedding bells.


    Change my mind so much I can't even trust it
    My mind change me so much I can't even trust myself

  • AelfinnAelfinn Member Posts: 3,857
    I don't have an answer for you I'm afraid. I've been attracted to women, courted and slept with them for long periods of time, but I have never been in love.

    No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
    Hemingway

  • BlurrBlurr Member UncommonPosts: 2,155

    What is love? http://ckjcwf.ytmnd.com/

    Serious answer to come later (shit I'm late, aaah!)

    "Because it's easier to nitpick something than to be constructive." -roach5000

  • sly220sly220 Member UncommonPosts: 606

    I would suppose its about what your feeling.. however its not to be confused with the Puppy love that most feel when they begin dating at first. Infatuated wanting to please her at every turn wanting to be romanic thing you do that are out of the ordinary usually mean you have feelings for an individual just be carful that its true and if you have to ask what is love im going to doubt your in it at this point. You could be just most usually know that there IN LOVE not just puppy love. i hope that help my friend image 

    And good luck with your lady friend image

    image

  • DrunkenWDrunkenW Member Posts: 250
    I've been with the same girl for almost 4 years now, lived with her for 2. What it feels like... Hard to find words.

    Maybe you really know when you are friends asmuch as lovers.
    I don't know but that would be my best shot.

    Be carefull tho, one thing I know for sure is that women do not equal freedom. It's obvious that you don't want boundaries in your lifestyle.



  • outfctrloutfctrl Member UncommonPosts: 3,619



    Originally posted by DrunkenW

    Be carefull tho, one thing I know for sure is that women do not equal freedom. It's obvious that you don't want boundaries in your lifestyle.



    Thats what I am afraid of.  I am so used to doing what I want and when I want to do it.  I spend money on foolish things, because I want them.  I dont like restrictions. 

    image

  • DrunkenWDrunkenW Member Posts: 250

    Originally posted by outfctrl
    Originally posted by DrunkenW

    Be carefull tho, one thing I know for sure is that women do not equal freedom. It's obvious that you don't want boundaries in your lifestyle.
    Thats what I am afraid of.  I am so used to doing what I want and when I want to do it.  I spend money on foolish things, because I want them.  I dont like restrictions. 


    She'll most likely accept your lifestyle as a a part of you. But at a surdent point the two of you will have to compromise.
    Personally I drink alot. Sometimes I can sit up all night listening to music, drinking and smoking. I love it and it's never been an issue for me but Theresa has some bad experiences in her family so I had to cut it down.

    Anyway. I think you should go for it and take one step at a time. You don't regret things you did do.


  • outfctrloutfctrl Member UncommonPosts: 3,619

    One issue I found out is that her Dad drank allot.  She doesnt smoke or drink and she is a hardcore Christian.  She keeps telling me that she doesnt know how to tell her family about me.  OMG

     

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  • HocheteHochete Member CommonPosts: 1,210

    If you feel you'd literally give your life for this person, then yea that'd be love. If not, it's a crush.

  • DrunkenWDrunkenW Member Posts: 250

    Originally posted by outfctrl
    One issue I found out is that her Dad drank allot.  She doesnt smoke or drink and she is a hardcore Christian.  She keeps telling me that she doesnt know how to tell her family about me.  OMG  

    And there you have it. If you two work it out that has got to be love.

    Lol, awesome couple :)
  • outfctrloutfctrl Member UncommonPosts: 3,619

    Well, I hate to hurt anyone.  It doesnt matter to me about my feelings.  Hell, I have been thru 3 marriages.  She has been divorced for a year and was married for 27 years to one man!!  Thats a long f**kng time.  Sheesh.

    She has only been with two men her whole life and I lost count when I was 18....LOL

    I dont know...this whole thing scares me.

    image

  • BoozbazBoozbaz Member Posts: 1,918
    It sounds like you're letting this woman into your comfort zone and are letting the warm up phase take effect. It's only human to fall in love, we can't deny our genes, so yeah you probobally are experiencing it.


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  • SassymolassySassymolassy Member Posts: 363



    Originally posted by outfctrl

    Well, I hate to hurt anyone.  It doesnt matter to me about my feelings.  Hell, I have been thru 3 marriages.  She has been divorced for a year and was married for 27 years to one man!!  Thats a long f**kng time.  Sheesh.
    She has only been with two men her whole life and I lost count when I was 18....LOL
    I dont know...this whole thing scares me.


    If I were you I would be happy about these things.  It means she knows how to be committed and disease free (most likely).   

    Dont go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Mark Twain)

  • outfctrloutfctrl Member UncommonPosts: 3,619



    Originally posted by Sassymolassy





    If I were you I would be happy about these things.  It means she knows how to be committed and disease free (most likely).   


    You are right.  Now-a-days you have to be real careful.  I have made it 55 years disease free, thank god.  I still cant fathom having a woman around all the time.  The family gatherings, CHURCH???.....yea right, being yelled at to take the garbage out, telling me to be careful riding my motorcycle, you drink too much, why dont you quit smoking?, you care for your video games more than me, you dont love me anymore, PMS, I saw you looking at her, who is ???? on your IM?, ..................ACCCKKK.......I dont know man....all this stuff goes thru my mind.

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  • ladyloreladylore Member Posts: 126

    Originally posted by outfctrl
    Originally posted by Sassymolassy
    If I were you I would be happy about these things.  It means she knows how to be committed and disease free (most likely).   

    You are right.  Now-a-days you have to be real careful.  I have made it 55 years disease free, thank god.  I still cant fathom having a woman around all the time.  The family gatherings, CHURCH???.....yea right, being yelled at to take the garbage out, telling me to be careful riding my motorcycle, you drink too much, why dont you quit smoking?, you care for your video games more than me, you dont love me anymore, PMS, I saw you looking at her, who is ???? on your IM?, ..................ACCCKKK.......I dont know man....all this stuff goes thru my mind.

    If it is love and is meant to be, those things will work out
    for themselves.  My mother and father have been married for 30 years, one
    goes to church every Sunday and the other goes to church twice a year, and they
    work out.  Take out the trash on time and she won't have to yell out
    you.  You WANT someone to want you to be careful on your bike and to not
    drink too much and to quit smoking.  If you play your game right, you
    could possibly get her to appreciate video games as well (and to appreciate you
    being at home playing video games instead of out on the street riding your
    motorcycle drunk while smoking).  Not every woman suffers from PMS in the
    same way (my PMS symptoms are that I get really really horny and cuddly).
    etc.etc. 



    Quit worrying and just let yourself love already.



    I've been with my husband for 12 years, and I am in love.  I knew I was in
    love when I could never get enough of having him around, and thought about him
    all the time when he wasn't around.  12 years later, we still miss each
    other when we are at work and actually IM and text message and call each other
    off and on all day long. 



    You know you are in love when even if you aren't talking to each other or
    interacting necessarily, you are very content to just know that she in the same
    room as you.  When she is your best friend and yor best lover at the same
    time.  When you can have conversations with her while you (or she) is on
    the toilet.  When you can't imagine being without her.



    It makes me a little sad to hear that you've made it this far in life without
    truly experiencing love before.  But better late than never, I say!

  • outfctrloutfctrl Member UncommonPosts: 3,619



    Originally posted by ladylore


    Quit worrying and just let yourself love already.

    I've been with my husband for 12 years, and I am in love.  I knew I was in love when I could never get enough of having him around, and thought about him all the time when he wasn't around.  12 years later, we still miss each other when we are at work and actually IM and text message and call each other off and on all day long. 

    You know you are in love when even if you aren't talking to each other or interacting necessarily, you are very content to just know that she in the same room as you.  When she is your best friend and yor best lover at the same time.  When you can have conversations with her while you (or she) is on the toilet.  When you can't imagine being without her.




    I am so jealous.  I have wanted that feeling so bad my whole life and just havent found it.  You are a very lucky couple. Maybe one day..

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  • GameloadingGameloading Member UncommonPosts: 14,182
    You can't ask someone "Am I in love?" I think deep inside, everybody knows what love is. When your in love, you will know it, you will feel it yourself.
  • SmurfMagicSmurfMagic Member Posts: 664
    ive never had a girlfriend before so i dont even know.

    to me love is the internet and some hand lotion.






  • baffbaff Member Posts: 9,457



    Originally posted by outfctrl

    Ok, here goes.  From what I have seen on here, there is a diverse age group that frequents this forum. 
    I have been divorced for 10 years and swore I would never get involved again. I dont think I know what love feels like anymore, for that matter whether I have ever been in love.  I met this woman about a month ago and have been seeing her on a regular basis, like lunch, dinners and a few pubs.  I just cant seem to get her off my mind.  I have never wanted to see a woman more than a few times before, but for some reason, this one is different. 
    We havent really been intimate, well.......maybe a little.  I didnt want to just hop in the sack with her, I wanted to just be around her.  She seems to feel the same way. Oh, BTW she is 47.  What does love really feel like?  Am I just infatuated with her?   She is a very beautiful woman in all aspects. I know it sounds strange coming from a 55 yr old.  I drink hard, ride hard and can be a little rough at times, but this woman seems to tame me in some way......WTF.
    What is love?  What kind of physical feelings do you get?



    I've been in love 5 times by my count.

    Obsession and infatuation is a healthy sign. However I have been obsessed hundreds of times more than I have been in love. (Standardly any barmaid that pours me a drink becomes the object of my fantasies).

    Here's a little story about one time that I wasn't in love. It's a classic story and once you recognise the stereo type you can watch your friends doing it too.

     I met this girl and her mate in a nightclub, friends of friends we were all having drunken laughs in the same area. After the nightclub about 10 of the revellers returned to a friends house for all night drinking.

    She was looking at me, and I was looking at her. At about 10 am we snuck off for sex at my place. Very drunken sex, not the best sex as mr winky wasn't immensly functional after a bottle of JD but fun nevertheless.

    Up until that point, I hadn't had a girlfriend for at least two years, knowing me, probably more. I continued to see her for about the next two weeks, despite ringing her up and being keen to go and meet her, I'd take her flowers, chase her down, wait for her after work and generally look forward to seeing her all day. The sex however just got worse and worse. I would come as fast as I could and then go to sleep. Her friends bought her a sex toy.

    After about 2 weeks we stopped seeing each other. Since then I have seen this pattern again and again in other mates.

    I hadn't had a girlfriend for a really long time, so the first girl that paid me any attention I "fell in love" with. I'm permanently obsessed with one girl or another, but it's not often the girl i fancy fancies me. Despite being pleased to be in love, it was the kind of love that is based more on desperation and low self esteem more than anything else.

    Since then, I have the nookie test. If while shagging it is my driving desire that the sex must be so good for her that she will want to come back tomorrow, then I am in love. In the end you can't fake the chemistry. If all I'm doing is trying to get off, we don't have it. If all I'm doing is trying to get her off, we do.

    Currently I am love. How do I know I am in love? Mostly I have made a conscious decision to be so. I like all that romance stuff. I enjoy it. If I am not in love I am looking to be. When I am not in love, things are less emotional. Lassie movies don't make me cry (as much). Overly flirty or sexually predatory girls don't make me feel guilty. I also never suffer from jealousy or paranoia. When I am in love, the stone cold killer in me takes a complete holiday and I want things to turn out well for everybody, even my darkest enemies..

    A girl I don't love is unable to frustrate me to the point of screaming with her nonsense, because ultimatly I don't care if she pisses off. 

    Essentially, time will tell.

    Anyway, does she dip?

  • HexagenHexagen Member Posts: 47



    Originally posted by outfctrl

    Ok, here goes.  From what I have seen on here, there is a diverse age group that frequents this forum. 

    What is love?  What kind of physical feelings do you get?




    Well man. First, this is probably not the best forum to put posts like this since there's plenty of kids here who haven't even been in love yet. Then again what do I know, the average age here may be 35.

    I would say it seems like you're pretty much on the same page about your life and your feelings. The fact that you have been divorsed for 10 years means nothing. I think you can fall in and out of love at any point in your life. It just happens more often when you're young.

    It seems like you're doing everything right and don't be afraid, it's better to spend at least a few years with someone after being alone for so long, than to stay alone.

    Good luck,

    AVATAR REALM

  • olddaddyolddaddy Member Posts: 3,356



    Originally posted by outfctrl

    What is love?  What kind of physical feelings do you get?



    It's kind of the same feeling you get after you pass gas....
  • NihilanthNihilanth Member Posts: 1,357

    I don't know how much my personal experience is relavent to you because of my age, but to me love is when you lose all selfishness towards a person and get everything you want/need just simply by being around them.  Ya, it sounds corny, but that's the way I feel around my girlfriend.  I don't really think the actual feeling of love can be described in one way, though, because I think it's different for everyone.  All I know is I am happier around my girlfriend than I am anywhere else, and to me that's love.

    I think it's good, though, that you are cautious.  The worst thing you can do for a relationship is jump into it, and acknowledging the possible problems before you make any real steps is the best way to not be suprised and jump right back out of a relationship.

    Schutzbar - Human Warrior - Windrunner Alliance - World of Warcraft
    Nihilanth - Kerra Paladin - Blackburrow - EverQuest II
    XBL Gamertag - Eagle15GT

  • asupermaneasupermane Member Posts: 682


      I'm 20 , i've been in love once.  I had a long time relationship with a girl for 3 yrs and was engaged.   WHen i step back.  it wasnt worth it at this young of an age.  But i just read your post and you may have found your match man...    Just go with what feels right man! 

    aaron

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  • kimosabekimosabe Member Posts: 516
    That's the sucky thing about love, man. You sure as hell can tell which people you don't care for, but there's no way to measure how much you do care for someone. There's just times when you think, "How can I feel more strongly about anyone?" and you just can never tell if you're at the top, or if you've still got higher to go. I say take what you've got here, and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.

    Je mettrai l'amour sur dos de moi.

  • DraenorDraenor Member UncommonPosts: 7,918
    Love is different for everyone.  I really don't know quite how to describe it, I've only been in love once.  I wish I could find the words, when I was with her, I wanted to be better, but I knew that I didn't have to be.  I knew that if she asked me to, I would do anything, with all my heart, I knew that I would do anything that I possibly could for her. And if I couldn't do it, then I would die trying.  That was more than a year ago, I havn't seen her in months, yet I still think about her constantly...we still talk all the time, we still say "I love you" at the end of every conversation...and I still can't help but shake the feeling that I want to spend the rest of my life with her...I guess true love doesn't ever die, whether or not I end up spending the rest of my life with her, I will always remember her as the first girl that I would have done anything for...When we left for college(my family was moving to Indiana), it felt like someone had shoved a huge shard of glass into my heart...she is the only girl that I have ever shed a tear over.  Our relationship was about as dramatic as it gets, and we both acted so damn childish at times, but we have always stuck together, I truly believe that there are certain people that you are just meant to be with, and I think that she is one of them.

    Your argument is like a two legged dog with an eating disorder...weak and unbalanced.

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