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Star Wars - the Galaxies way

WeppsWepps Member Posts: 1,322

A lot of discussions take the form of "how to make the game more Star Warsy."

I admit everytime I hear this, I wonder at what the developers are thinking. After all, they have a phone don't they? Talk to Lucas, or at least watch the movies.

But if Galaxies were the movies, you might see something like this...


The Cantina

Luke, Obi-Wan and the droids go into the Mos Eisley Cantina...

Luke pauses at the door with his droids...

Bartender - "Hey. We don't serve their kind here."

Luke - "Lag."

Bratender - "Your droids. Put them in your pocket, they don't belong in here."

Luke - "We don't want any more lag, why don't you wait inside."

C3P0 - sarcastic - "I heartily agree."


Luke walks to the bar...

Luke - "Can I have one of those in an unlocked container?"

Musician - "Please tip me I have nothing to offer."

Alien grabs Luke by the shoulder...

"Hey n00b, did you get your BARC speeder? I'm buying them you know. 150k each."

Luke - ignores him.

"I have a BARC speeder on twelve merchants."

Entertainer - "Please check my bio for top tippers."

Luke - "Not interested thanks."

Obi-Wan - "This n00b is not worth the effort."

Alien draws a light saber. Obi-Wan draws a light saber. Everyone else in the Cantina draws a lightsaber, and 10 minutes of Jedi Kung Fu ensues with the end result that that the alien is lagged out, and loses his cybernetic arm.

Entertainer - "Please check my bio for top tippers."


Obi-Wan - "Newbacca here has a friend that has a ship that will hold multiple passangers."


Han - "Han Solo. I'm pilot of the Millenium Falcon. Newbie here tells me you're looking for passage to the Alderaan System."

Obi-Wan - "Yes indeed. If it's a l337 ship."

Han - "l337 ship? You've never heard of the Falcon?"

Obi-Wan - "Should I have?"

Han - "You're more n00b than I thought. It's the ship that was the last veteran reward, for 12 months. What's the cargo?"

Obi-Wan - "Just myself, the boy, two droids, and no questions asked."

Han - "So...two passengers. That's the real trick isn't it. And it's going to cost you something extra."

Obi-Wan - "We can pay you 2k now, plus 15k when we reach Alderaan."

Han "Meet at the starport, the first Ship Terminal. Looks like somebody is taking an interest in your Kung Fu."

Stormtrooper runs into the Cantina...

"Rebels are scum. I don't recognize you. Halt for inspection. My sister can fight better than Rebels."


Han "17,000 credits. Boy, those guys must really be cheap. I'll be lucky to pay for the gas on this trip."


3 minutes later...

Han - Invites everyone. Launch Ship.


Han - "That was a narrow escape. It will take a few seconds to get the coordinates from the Navicomputer."



30 seconds later...

Falcon exits hyperspace...

Han - "Looks like we jumped into a meteor shower of some kind. No Alderaan."

Obi-Wan - " the developers."


Han - "Some n00b just ran into us. Looks like a TIE light duty fighter."

Luke - "How did a TIE fighter get this deep into space?"

Han - "It has hyperspace motors. Idiot. Now shut up, or you'll find yourself loading home."


feel free to contribute



"For one who seeks what he cannot obtain suffers torture; one who has what is not desirable is cheated; and one who does not seek what is worth seeking is diseased." - Augustine of Hippo


  • haxxjoohaxxjoo Member Posts: 924

    Obi-wan: I sense a great distrubance in teh force as if 10,000 of thousands of grinder noobs screamed out and where silenced.

    Han: STFU! D00d. I am going to blast him. Stoopid noober. Force is for nooblets. Don't make me toss a poison on ur arse.

    Chewyoungfatbacca: Doodz stop being gay.

    Luke: What is that?

    Characters lookout Viewport flying into large grey mass of uncoded space.

    Han: I have a bad feeling about this...

    Obi-wan: turn around jerk ur going to lag us ou....


    5 minutes later

    Obi-wan: Noob I told ya. Now where are we?

    Luke: I think we zoned to a shuttleport?

    Chewie: Are we on General Grievous commandship?

    Obi-wan: I swear this is the last time I log dood this is rediculous.

    Han: wtf? You can all hide in my smuggling... oh wait nevermind.  Doodz get out your sabers.  I got a rifle and some bh skillz... lets grind...

    Chewie: ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Han: What was that?

    Chewie: It was my roar d00d. You like?

    Han: d00d ur such a n00b. "/wookieroar" biatch! Liek this.

    Han: /wookieroar

    Han: /flex

    Han: I pwn

  • ata23ata23 Member Posts: 94


    Lets change it a little

    Obi wan: dam cantina err. Luke I think u better stay tatoonie for.... dth.

    Luke :U promised me to teach me the jedi tricks and I ll kick the emperors butt.

    Obi Wan: OK ok take it easy go and hunt some gurks and bols when u kill more then a million come to me I ll teach u .

    Luke : why I should kill these innocent creatures and what about green peace.

    Obi Wan : Forget every thing I told u . go over there there are thousands of jedis around I ll pick a group and I will kick ur fathers ass with them. But u can find me at mustafar

    Luke : Mustafar where is it

    Obi Wan: oops sorry I confused ... where s Tiggs?

    Luke : Man  u get strange who is Tiggs?

    Obi wan: wait here for me . Hey u Jedi come with me to kick emperors butt

    One of the Jedis around : I cant man I am not rebel

    Obi Wan : are u sith oh no I feel a disturbance of the force.

    Jedi: No No I am not sith I am a emperors jedi.

    Obi wan : Whooa good Lord at the end Anakin and emperor chose the way of light.

    Jedi: thats not exactly so

    Obi: huh...

    Jedi : I have to kill more innocent creatures and I have a bh on my tails so by ask ur questions to tiggs she will say you...

    Obi : she will say me what

    jedi : We are working on it thank , dont forget to pay ur monthly fee.

    Luke : I am going back to farm thats enough for me get ur force shit and .....


  • grapevinegrapevine Member UncommonPosts: 1,927

    Wasn't there a fan made film (video) made on this very subject, about a year ago and posted on the offical forum?

    I don't remember much about it, although it was spot on.

  • WeppsWepps Member Posts: 1,322

    Oh there was a great one done by some guys who were Bounty Hunters, but I'm having trouble finding it. Anyone else remember that Jedi Hunt one they did in the woods? LOL that was hilarious.



    "For one who seeks what he cannot obtain suffers torture; one who has what is not desirable is cheated; and one who does not seek what is worth seeking is diseased." - Augustine of Hippo

  • grapevinegrapevine Member UncommonPosts: 1,927

    That's probably the one I was thinkiing of, with the afk Jedi and warping bikes. LOL

  • gunnythokgunnythok Member Posts: 268
    Perfectly done.  Had trouble deciding as to whether I should be angry cause it's right, or laugh my ass off cause it's funny...and right.
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