To be perfectly honest, I'm not the best individual to write a well-thought out "story", for lack of a better term, as I like to get straight to the point. Anyhow; here's my quick story.
For the longest time I would have depression that would go in and out. Some days I would feel pretty damn good, other days, not so much and I felt miserable about myself, where I was in life and everything in between. I was never happy with what I did. It was brutal and I still feel it off and on to this day. I fell into drinking to numb myself away as I dreaded the feeling and I dreaded the constant thoughts I would have. This ended up lasting for about 2 to 3 years until the drinking made me have severe anxiety and how little I thought of myself because of it. I eventually ended up going down to an outpatient therapy place which helped me get squared away so that I do not run into any withdrawals like seizures and what not.
Now, to be honest, I was kind of scared or just didn't know what to do because I wanted my thoughts and feelings to be numb still. It's almost like I forced myself to go to detox, just to go. I still think about drinking my problems away but not so much anymore since I took on this hobby. Yeah, I may not be a big-time streamer or anything of the sort and yeah it would be great, but it is what it is and I've been enjoying it. I've enjoyed growing a community of players that don't mind sitting there watching me play a video game. It's surreal. I'm not too sure how to explain it. All the support I've been getting inside of it has kept my mind distracted and far away from wanting to dip into a bottle. I've came across individuals who are even trying to keep me on the horse and that alone is extremely appreciated.
Streaming for me is not only just to find a following. It's my cure right now to a dark time in my life and I just want to say thank you for anyone who does happen to pop by my stream and anyone who already has and developed a friendship with me. You guys saved me from somewhere I still think about being and each day I do my best to ignore it and to fight it. Each day streaming pulls me away from that call by talking to each and every one of you as I finally shake that "lonely' feeling.
Please come check out my stream. All the love is appreciated!