Long post, sorry. It's kinda more complex issue than just ESO or WOW.
I was avid MMORPG player from EQ launch to end of B.C. on WOW. Couple days back I decided to load up WoW since I seen ya could pay with gold for subscription. I thought might as well play for a few days. I rather enjoyed it after being gone for four years.
My wife and I are considering returning to MMORPGs. We are looking at either WoW again or buying two copies of ESO.
Now the thing is this would be mostly solo/duo play. Unless things changed the toxic community in WoW was the reason we quit. She played LoTRO before I knew her and I think she played it almost always solo. Together on WOW she got one character to max level, got her to run a 5 man pug, I told group "Hey this is her first run so kinda go slow". Well she screwed up of course being her first run (was a healer /facepalm) with in 5 minutes the tank flipped completely out and even had to bust out the C word. She is really shy (doesn't like using voice chat), and has really bad anxiety. I really don't see her ever being a raider or even attempting a PUG raid. We would need solid/nice guild and then she may do well. She is MUCH better gamer than me to be honest.
Myself though I use to love to raid, loved to be social, and stuck with same guild until they disbanded after B.C. I raided with other guilds but never connected with any other guild the way I had during Everquest/early WOW. We have both got old and my reflexes aren't what they use to be. So there is that also....
So finally meat and potatoes. Which would we be better off with? WoW has a lot of things we both absolutely love. Crafting, pet/mount collecting, we like the cartoonish graphics, farming, making gold, hell I even like archeology! Literally spending 4 hours listening to the radio farming a pet slime is oddly fun to me. Pet battles and Garrisons has been added though haven't seen them first hand. So seems like outside of grouping/raiding there is ton of stuff to do. I know though WoWs true end game is instances/raiding. Without it your character ends up being max level but subpar compared to everyone else. That is my main issue against WoW. Also I worry due to her experiences before and anxiety it might not even be possible to raid. With Legion coming out between two of us that is 100 dollars that could be wasted..
Then we come to ESO. Last I recall of this game was at launch and everyone hated it. Now it seems though it has gotten better. I have done bit of research on it and it appears that character progression can be done without ever raiding. You really don't need anyone and can still not be "subpar" like you would be with WoW without raiding. The question is though, are the things I like to do like pet/mount collecting, farming for crafting, making gold even if ya don't need it, etc etc in ESO? My fear with ESO is basically it's going to be just mainly questing and questing alone without much more to do aside from crafting here and there.
We also tried GW2 at launch. For whatever reason didn't hold us and last I read the gear grind was through 5 man dungeons there now too. LoTRO I tried but I couldn't get into.
Any help would be appreciated and also sorry for length of the post. We
aren't rich as I had to quit work recently due to an injury so money is