I just wanted to bring up one thing. Keep in mind that I'm telling you my opinion of the situation, from my stand point. You guys are not the ones giving a hard time, so I can be straightfoward with you tell you how I actually feel because you aren't involved in the conflict.
However, in this game, I NEVER let the dicks get away with the crap they send me. In fact, that I defend myself, may be part of the problem. They act like I'm being a bitch because I defend myself--but I never START the conflicts to begin with. I always publically rebuff any advances toward me. I'm a proud person, I can't just sit by and quietly take rude remarks. Because of this though, they know I will fight them back and that appears to make this more interesting to them, especially when they are in large groups.
Again, I think I have a pretty thick skin. I can let a lot of it roll of my back, no problem. Thats not to say I'm immune and occasionally I take a few days to recharge and do solo stuff and not be social, but that doesn't mean I put up with crap because I absolutely do not. I know it comes with the territory, it is my hope though that at least some of it will resolve itself over time and become less interesting to those who are giving me a hard time.
Aikida, I just wanted to add that I do not boast any type of skill level for them to call me out on. Like I said, of the content I have been working on lately with these people, they are the end game raiders and I am learning the fights. There is a ton that I don't know, and I wouldn't claim to be awesome at stuff I've only done a few times so I'm not sure where that remark came from.
Of other stuff in the game that I am practiced that, that we do occasionally, I hold my own. How well I perform in fights is not an item they have really used against me.
They seem to hound me a lot about personal information, which I refuse to give. Because, why would I? That I won't share my name, age, marital status, location, race, stuff like that. But it's my opinion that those things are not and should not be important to me playing this game. I have made it clear that I am not looking for any type of online relationship.
I just wanted to bring up one thing. Keep in mind that I'm telling you my opinion of the situation, from my stand point. You guys are not the ones giving a hard time, so I can be straightfoward with you tell you how I actually feel because you aren't involved in the conflict.
However, in this game, I NEVER let the dicks get away with the crap they send me. In fact, that I defend myself, may be (a big part) part of the problem. They act like I'm being a bitch because I defend myself--but I never START the conflicts to begin with. I always publically rebuff any advances toward me. I'm a proud person, I can't just sit by and quietly take rude remarks. Because of this though, they know I will fight them back and that appears to make this more interesting to them, especially when they are in large groups.
Again, I think I have a pretty thick skin. I can let a lot of it roll of my back, no problem. Thats not to say I'm immune and occasionally I take a few days to recharge and do solo stuff and not be social, but that doesn't mean I put up with crap because I absolutely do not. I know it comes with the territory, it is my hope though that at least some of it will resolve itself over time and become less interesting to those who are giving me a hard time.
Sorry OP but if you can't see what is going on here then you are a lot more naive or clever than you let on.
If you think "defending" yourself is a good thing in this case your are mistaken. I can pretty much tell that you toss the shit around just as easily as the guys do. Difference is, they can drop the sexual insults on you and I bet that makes you even more determined.
Sorry but you are choosing the wrong way to go about it. Try friendly refusals or explanations. Don't get involved in pissing matches you will not win. And if people don't get the message after all that then discontinue any interaction with them.
But I think you do have a little attention seeking trait in your psyche and the antangonistic attitude in dealing with the unwanted kind of attention, has gotten you to where you are now.
Time to suck it up Buttercup, you brought it on yourself. And it can just as easily happen to guys too.
FFA Nonconsentual Full Loot PvP ...You know you want it!!
Saw this in recent threads so i started reading it honestly didnt even get to the last few pages of the post though felt like i had to say that i hate your dealing with all this bull but people in game and in RL seem to be just as good or just as stupid. I just dont see why it should matter so much. Ive been playing MMO's since i was about 12 or 13 which im in my late twenties now also and i do like to know when i get to talking to someone for a while or been grouped with someone for a few hours whether there male or female. The reason though is so you know how to say certain things to people whether to ask hows it going man or say hows it going lady or something else but with people treating you like that on a game is just stupid and honestly there just immature like some have said. I hope it calms down for ya because it seems like you must really like the game and a few people you play with to endure it. Good luck out there!
Joined a guild that has drama? solution, quit the guild.
As for voice chat, i only join voice chat with real life friends. You could do the same until you find a group of more mature players that wont stalk you or behave like vultures after hearing a girls voice.
Also, instead of being defensive towards trolls, ignore them and be on your way. Ive seen a number of girls in guilds that like to bait trolls and start arguments with the "am a gal gamer this and that, etc etc etc".
Show that you are more mature and the shame will fall on them.
<a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.mmorpg.com/profile.cfm/username/Boneserino"; href="http://www.mmorpg.com/profile.cfm/username/Boneserino"; title="View information about Boneserino" suhlink"="">Boneserino, I think maybe you have the idea that I go in vent guns a blazing, trying to break some balls. I assure you that isn't the case. My offense, to these people, is that I will not giving them personal info about myself. But why would I? Like I said, I'm not looking to meet dudes in a game and I've said this to this group many times. And I don't see how my age or location or whatever is relevant to how I play this game, so I won't be answering such questions any time soon.
You say I should try to give them a friendly explanation. I will try to respond to remarks about impregnating me or giving me fatal STDs, or how much of a bitch I am, with as much friendly grace as I can muster. lol
The most surprising thing about this is that you have found an mmo to keep you entertained for 2 years! I would welcome all the BS to find a game I liked for more than a month...
P.S. Just post a random pic of a super fat ugly old lady you can find online saying its you and I'm sure the dbags will settle down lol.
Maybe, if all their words are empty. But as some individuals prove, sometimes those words are never really empty as some of the WoW killers in the news have shown. Words are the most powerful force in the universe to some. To others they are just air.
OP never made any judgements on anybody else. Only made feelings to situations known. There's a clear difference. So tell us about you then. I don't have enough information about this person to make a judgement like that. But by you judging them, you instantly bring attention to yourself.
In fact it sounds like you have an internet dragon slaying addiction problem. This would mean that you never, ever will slay the real dragon! They were all illusions!
Eh. All I can say is that you need to learn how to tell people to stop.
I usually advise people to:
Not talk to anyone unless you want to. You can perhaps say "I don't want to talk about that right now" or "I am doing something else right now, we will talk later" and go do your own thing. Don't explain yourself to them, don't say anything more.
If someone actually wants to be friends with you they'll respect it and shut up.
If someone doesn't respect the fact you want to play alone it means that someone is messaging you to make himself feel better "Ooh, I talked to a girl!!" or to annoy you "Lol girls on the internets!". In that case you really should just block/ignore them ingame.
Yes, if you are in the same guild it might cause tensions - talk to the guild leadership. They should understand you. If they don't, and they berate you for blocking the other player - it shows it's not a guild for you.
Nothing more to it.
Originally posted by nethaniah
Seriously Farmville? Yeah I think it's great. In a World where half our population is dying of hunger the more fortunate half is spending their time harvesting food that doesn't exist.
It hurts but it's the law, yep. It's a nice list, I think there are at least 2 more steps on the male one though, and 1 more for the female.
Though I think there might be a seventh, one more, in addition for both of those that would sever them from being entirely separate that we know about today.
That's just how 20-something guys are. Females are the same way but they don't communicate it overtly.
Personally, I feel the fact you're coming here discussing it means two things. You need attention and sympathy. You've grown up under a rock somewhere. I'm not giving you sympathy, but I'll give you the courtesy of honesty. Good luck in your future adventures meeting the world.
After skimming lightly over this thread, I'm starting to see less and less the point of this thread. A "woman" gamer is complaining about guys giving "her" attention after playing online games for 12 years. I imagine you (OP) have encountered this problem more than once over 12 years and this is obviously been around since online gaming has existed, probably even before. Real solution (if it honestly needed to be more obvious), explain it once (firmly) and if they cannot accept it then ignore them/leave/etc. Coming on to a forum to get ideas wont matter since they will continue to act however they want until you're firm about your stance on it. Conforming to people like that will only make them do it more towards you. Since you're in your late twenties honestly all these ideas/etc should be obviously, unless you've like not talked to any guy like ever. Starting to think this thread was just made for attention since its so simple to solve.
You say I should try to give them a friendly explanation. I will try to respond to remarks about impregnating me or giving me fatal STDs, or how much of a bitch I am, with as much friendly grace as I can muster. lol
Seriously, what is this game? The only MMO I can think of with this kinda playerbase is Tera...
It sounds more like dota-clones or shooters - oh, wait I keep forgetting we're covering those too nowadays among MMOs BF for example: https://youtu.be/7Ot1ZthmQ60
Anyways, try TSW for a change (or LotRO, is even more friendly and mature, actually in there you'd be the "young one").
Voice chat takes things to a more social level than text.
It sounds like you just want to play the game and sidestep all the other social drama. One thing you might do is develop mic problems so you can listen but only type back in group. Don't reply too often and keep all of it focused on the game.
They'll get the hint and move on,
"Social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community ... but now they have the same right to speak as a Nobel Prize winner. It's the invasion of the idiots”
― Umberto Eco
“Microtransactions? In a single player role-playing game? Are you nuts?” ― CD PROJEKT RED
Is there another man having sex with her that I may have to contend with?
Try to have sex with her
Move to next female
We aren't hard to manage when you understand our basic instincts.
It may be blunt but its that simplicity that populated the Earth in the early dangerous times and it still lingers in most men today.
The female one looks like this:
Is it male?
Does it have resources?
Can it protect me?
Have sex with him
Move to next male if 2 or 3 cease to exist
So to avoid the situation its very simple. Either pretend you aren't female or make it known in some way that a man is already having sex with you.
Pretty much this. Guys, particularly guys in their 20s, are consumed by sex. Their brains are saturated in hormones and if they are able to think about anything else, it all has sexual meanings and overtones. So every communication is sexual. Since this is the case, they may not realize they are being offensive or even aggressive. This is the way they think, so they say the same dumbass things outloud that they are thinking, which quickly gets out of hand if they are drunk and/or stoned, which is, in my experience, often the case.
But you also have to realize that guys talk just like that to each other. Crass, ugly, nasty. Just trashy. Competition brings out the worst in people, and many gamers are extremely competitive. If you are seen as a competitor, then they are going to talk to you in the same way they would anyone else who either has what they want or is a threat to what they want, be that loot or standing or reputation. This has nothing to do with gender as such, although guys will certainly use sexual language to attempt to humiliate you. If the guys you are playing with have self-esteem problems related to women, then your being a woman will certainly stoke them up and increase their need to put you down.
Now, of course, if you are being harassed in game by anyone, you can report them to the GM. Firmly, but politely, tell them you aren't interested. And if it continues, report them.
Unfortunately, it sounds like you are already in quite a mess and it will take time to straighten it out. There's a cautionary tale here. Just because you game with someone doesn't mean they are entitled to or worthy of your friendship. It is often best to be distant and establish boundaries. A lot of people bring too much of their real life into gaming and are actually unable to establish their own boundaries or recognize the boundaries of others. Sometimes a simple, "Not right now," or "I'm busy at the moment," gets the message across.
Originally posted by jykouras 1- I have developed a group of suck up followers, for one, who now constantly invite me to things, want to be in contact 100% of the time when I am online, want to do things one-on-one; want to use a messenger outside the game. This has proved difficult because I no longer have as much "alone time" as I am use too, I am constantly bombarded with multiple requests to do *something* all the time, and these people get upset/butthurt when I turn them down, or they get jealous if I'm doing something with someone else and not them and then get catty and weird about it. They take personal offense if I invite someone else to the group. I've made it VERY clear that I am only interested in being friends, not some weird online relationship with all of them, but they don't listen. So there's THAT drama.
2- Then there's a fair group of people who seem irritated by me and my followers, who assume that I only have this fan club because I am a girl and that I obviously suck at everything and am not deserving of such adoration(which I did not ask for), so they seem to give me a hard time to balance out the suck ups.
3- Then there's a third group of very competitive, elitist jerks that seem threatened by my presence or that I could be good at anything they are good at and will not be outdone by a girl. This group is particularly nasty because they go for the low blows, always giving me a hard time, making very aggressive, sexually charged attacks at me, criticizing everything I do. This group, while usually all-around dicks with everyone, seem to lie in wait for my voice in a group of maybe 10 people, to chime in and attack me for whatever I've said and try to embarrass me in front of everyone else. I have tough skin though, I've dealt with aggressive dudes. I think I can handle myself on my own. I don't let them get away with it, and I try really hard not to be affected, but sometimes they do get to me and I just need a break from all that.
First off, let me start by saying I am a gamer over 30yrs old who is married to another gamer for 10+ yrs with a child and happy. I have played MMOs since Ultima Online (yeah, thats right) and this is as old as time.. I have seen it from the husband view, watching it from the wife view (when ppl didnt know i was RIGHT THERE on the comp next to my wife) and from the boyfriend/girlfriend views. ..Oh.. and my wife is a psychologist.. so.. yeah.
If you wish to skip the below lets get right to the synopsis-
If you are going to game, join a family friendly guild that **meets in person** occasionally. Look for one full of happily married couples ect. If nothing else the in-person meets will allow you to establish your friend zone authoritatively. The anonymity of MMOs is just so ridiculaously deep of a negative tide to wade against for women its.. a bit sad. Expect this behavior from MMO's & guys. MMO's are FULL of males who's social interaction standards are Extremely unpolished. Most are not bad people, but most also do not know how to deal with social settings with full appropriateness. Many are also wont to flights of fantasy and engage in "fantasy thought" due to the MMO anonymity (what a person looks like, behaves like.. who they actually are in real life.
now for the specifics: (what follows is a highly charged opinion piece. it is a OPINION)
1- These are sad little people. They are starved for female attention. Generally, they are nice people but are often extremely naieve or befret of the kind of social attention they feel they need or that make them happy. They need therapy, or a mentor, or at the least a big brother/father figure to help guide them into being MEN. The most disturbing part of this paragraph is how you address them. You use extremely derogatory terms and words and yet you obviously feel they are "your followers" (your words). Might I suggest that you are only helping to further deepen their unhealthy behavior by associating with them.. AT ALL. You cannot change them. You cannot "friend zone" them. They have an unhealthy obsessive attraction to you-- im sorry-- who they FANTASIZE you are-- and if you wish to do what is best for them you will stop associating with them and using them for your benefit.
2- These people ARE irritated that you drag around a group of slightly disfuntional puppydogs. Some may hate you because they aint you, but the majority probably just agree with my above #1. Yes, they feel you just have a fan club because you are "just" a girl (and obviously at least a minimally charismatic one via voice). Yes, they feel like you are not "worthy" of such adoration. I feel somewhat the same way about a few of my friends who are multimillion dollar trust fund babies.. but guess what? My family has an estate too & i've seen the same look in some of my less financially fortunate friend's eyes aimed at me. Covetous and jealousy is a part of being a primal human. We all try and balance it with wisdom and humility .. but yeah. If yer dragging the puppydogs around.. they're gonna be pissed.
3- this group is most likely filled with a group similar to #1 ... except that instead of going submissive and pleasing and puppydogishly codependant.. they swung the opposite way to angry hateful hateraide guys. Many of these guys sucked down too hard on the kool-aid that "bad boys" are hot.. or attractive.. others are just angry that you'd never date or like them.. others are just beat by their dad or abused by their moms. Some might be #1's that have just snapped somewhere down the line (maybe not with you but with another girl) and some might be #2's just revved up to hell and back. .. really.. who cares? They're jerks. put them on ignore.
These problems are not unique or new.. they're ancient. The only way I know of that works to fix it is
1- join a guild that is Mature ..full of Married people.. that Meet in person occasionally (or a guild that is local?
2- joina Girl Gamer guild (a real one)
3- both 1&2 or
4- stop playing MMO's
just for the record ... I dont blame girls like you for this problem, personally. I blame all the parents out there who did not or have not raised their boys right to be young gentlemen instead of disfunctional lil boys (regardless of the age).
If you haven't, tell them you're a guy with a high voice. Or tell em you're transgendered and were actually a boy before this. (althoug the latter might backfire for different reasons).
Or pretend you're a 12 year old, they also have high pitched voices. Although I disapprove I can understand their behaviour. Women and men are not equal. They may have equal rights but are not the same. Videogames was all about meritocracy and the second someone is different that is ruined. That is the issue. Try to find a way to become the same in their mind. Worst case, start a new account, name change (and only pm the non dicks and tell them to keep it secret).
Comments
I just wanted to bring up one thing. Keep in mind that I'm telling you my opinion of the situation, from my stand point. You guys are not the ones giving a hard time, so I can be straightfoward with you tell you how I actually feel because you aren't involved in the conflict.
However, in this game, I NEVER let the dicks get away with the crap they send me. In fact, that I defend myself, may be part of the problem. They act like I'm being a bitch because I defend myself--but I never START the conflicts to begin with. I always publically rebuff any advances toward me. I'm a proud person, I can't just sit by and quietly take rude remarks. Because of this though, they know I will fight them back and that appears to make this more interesting to them, especially when they are in large groups.
Again, I think I have a pretty thick skin. I can let a lot of it roll of my back, no problem. Thats not to say I'm immune and occasionally I take a few days to recharge and do solo stuff and not be social, but that doesn't mean I put up with crap because I absolutely do not. I know it comes with the territory, it is my hope though that at least some of it will resolve itself over time and become less interesting to those who are giving me a hard time.
lol...wow...you saw this in her posts? Cause I didn't
"This may hurt a little, but it's something you'll get used to. Relax....."
Aikida, I just wanted to add that I do not boast any type of skill level for them to call me out on. Like I said, of the content I have been working on lately with these people, they are the end game raiders and I am learning the fights. There is a ton that I don't know, and I wouldn't claim to be awesome at stuff I've only done a few times so I'm not sure where that remark came from.
Of other stuff in the game that I am practiced that, that we do occasionally, I hold my own. How well I perform in fights is not an item they have really used against me.
They seem to hound me a lot about personal information, which I refuse to give. Because, why would I? That I won't share my name, age, marital status, location, race, stuff like that. But it's my opinion that those things are not and should not be important to me playing this game. I have made it clear that I am not looking for any type of online relationship.
Sorry OP but if you can't see what is going on here then you are a lot more naive or clever than you let on.
If you think "defending" yourself is a good thing in this case your are mistaken. I can pretty much tell that you toss the shit around just as easily as the guys do. Difference is, they can drop the sexual insults on you and I bet that makes you even more determined.
Sorry but you are choosing the wrong way to go about it. Try friendly refusals or explanations. Don't get involved in pissing matches you will not win. And if people don't get the message after all that then discontinue any interaction with them.
But I think you do have a little attention seeking trait in your psyche and the antangonistic attitude in dealing with the unwanted kind of attention, has gotten you to where you are now.
Time to suck it up Buttercup, you brought it on yourself. And it can just as easily happen to guys too.
FFA Nonconsentual Full Loot PvP ...You know you want it!!
Saw this in recent threads so i started reading it honestly didnt even get to the last few pages of the post though felt like i had to say that i hate your dealing with all this bull but people in game and in RL seem to be just as good or just as stupid. I just dont see why it should matter so much. Ive been playing MMO's since i was about 12 or 13 which im in my late twenties now also and i do like to know when i get to talking to someone for a while or been grouped with someone for a few hours whether there male or female. The reason though is so you know how to say certain things to people whether to ask hows it going man or say hows it going lady or something else but with people treating you like that on a game is just stupid and honestly there just immature like some have said. I hope it calms down for ya because it seems like you must really like the game and a few people you play with to endure it. Good luck out there!
-JFive
Joined a guild that has drama? solution, quit the guild.
As for voice chat, i only join voice chat with real life friends. You could do the same until you find a group of more mature players that wont stalk you or behave like vultures after hearing a girls voice.
Also, instead of being defensive towards trolls, ignore them and be on your way. Ive seen a number of girls in guilds that like to bait trolls and start arguments with the "am a gal gamer this and that, etc etc etc".
Show that you are more mature and the shame will fall on them.
Completely agree. Sounds like you are not a victim of abuse but a player if the shit show.
<a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.mmorpg.com/profile.cfm/username/Boneserino"; href="http://www.mmorpg.com/profile.cfm/username/Boneserino"; title="View information about Boneserino" suhlink"="">Boneserino, I think maybe you have the idea that I go in vent guns a blazing, trying to break some balls. I assure you that isn't the case. My offense, to these people, is that I will not giving them personal info about myself. But why would I? Like I said, I'm not looking to meet dudes in a game and I've said this to this group many times. And I don't see how my age or location or whatever is relevant to how I play this game, so I won't be answering such questions any time soon.
You say I should try to give them a friendly explanation. I will try to respond to remarks about impregnating me or giving me fatal STDs, or how much of a bitch I am, with as much friendly grace as I can muster. lol
Again the last paragraph shows your problem. No one is going to impregnate you or kill you with an STD over the internet.
These are just insults from mentally challenged individuals. You can't take them seriously can you?
Their sole purpose is to get a rise out of you. And guess what?
In your case it works.
FFA Nonconsentual Full Loot PvP ...You know you want it!!
The most surprising thing about this is that you have found an mmo to keep you entertained for 2 years! I would welcome all the BS to find a game I liked for more than a month...
P.S. Just post a random pic of a super fat ugly old lady you can find online saying its you and I'm sure the dbags will settle down lol.
@Aikida
OP never made any judgements on anybody else. Only made feelings to situations known. There's a clear difference. So tell us about you then. I don't have enough information about this person to make a judgement like that. But by you judging them, you instantly bring attention to yourself.
In fact it sounds like you have an internet dragon slaying addiction problem. This would mean that you never, ever will slay the real dragon! They were all illusions!
Life is simple at its core.
Let me explain the simplicity of men to you.
When we see a human this is our thought process:
We aren't hard to manage when you understand our basic instincts.
It may be blunt but its that simplicity that populated the Earth in the early dangerous times and it still lingers in most men today.
The female one looks like this:
So to avoid the situation its very simple. Either pretend you aren't female or make it known in some way that a man is already having sex with you.
Eh. All I can say is that you need to learn how to tell people to stop.
I usually advise people to:
Not talk to anyone unless you want to. You can perhaps say "I don't want to talk about that right now" or "I am doing something else right now, we will talk later" and go do your own thing. Don't explain yourself to them, don't say anything more.
If someone actually wants to be friends with you they'll respect it and shut up.
If someone doesn't respect the fact you want to play alone it means that someone is messaging you to make himself feel better "Ooh, I talked to a girl!!" or to annoy you "Lol girls on the internets!". In that case you really should just block/ignore them ingame.
Yes, if you are in the same guild it might cause tensions - talk to the guild leadership. They should understand you. If they don't, and they berate you for blocking the other player - it shows it's not a guild for you.
Nothing more to it.
Cook them something, problem solved!
@Nephelai
It hurts but it's the law, yep. It's a nice list, I think there are at least 2 more steps on the male one though, and 1 more for the female.
Though I think there might be a seventh, one more, in addition for both of those that would sever them from being entirely separate that we know about today.
That's just how 20-something guys are. Females are the same way but they don't communicate it overtly.
Personally, I feel the fact you're coming here discussing it means two things. You need attention and sympathy. You've grown up under a rock somewhere. I'm not giving you sympathy, but I'll give you the courtesy of honesty. Good luck in your future adventures meeting the world.
i am gonna be frank with you. the issues you mentioned are NOTHING. when you get into your 30-40s, you will understand my point.
MMO is the mother of gaming drama. not only for girls. guys break up with their friends over a game, they make new friends over a game etc.
just don't make a big deal out of it and you will eventually find some people that you can have fun with.
my top MMOs: UO,DAOC,WoW,GW2
most of my posts are just my opinions they are not facts,it is the same for you too.
Seriously, what is this game? The only MMO I can think of with this kinda playerbase is Tera...
It sounds more like dota-clones or shooters - oh, wait I keep forgetting we're covering those too nowadays among MMOs
BF for example: https://youtu.be/7Ot1ZthmQ60
Anyways, try TSW for a change (or LotRO, is even more friendly and mature, actually in there you'd be the "young one").
Voice chat takes things to a more social level than text.
It sounds like you just want to play the game and sidestep all the other social drama. One thing you might do is develop mic problems so you can listen but only type back in group. Don't reply too often and keep all of it focused on the game.
They'll get the hint and move on,
“Microtransactions? In a single player role-playing game? Are you nuts?”
― CD PROJEKT RED
Get a voice modulator and d-d-d-d-drop the bass.
Also never allow association beyond game.
Last suggestion is find a guild of older players with other females.
Pretty much this. Guys, particularly guys in their 20s, are consumed by sex. Their brains are saturated in hormones and if they are able to think about anything else, it all has sexual meanings and overtones. So every communication is sexual. Since this is the case, they may not realize they are being offensive or even aggressive. This is the way they think, so they say the same dumbass things outloud that they are thinking, which quickly gets out of hand if they are drunk and/or stoned, which is, in my experience, often the case.
But you also have to realize that guys talk just like that to each other. Crass, ugly, nasty. Just trashy. Competition brings out the worst in people, and many gamers are extremely competitive. If you are seen as a competitor, then they are going to talk to you in the same way they would anyone else who either has what they want or is a threat to what they want, be that loot or standing or reputation. This has nothing to do with gender as such, although guys will certainly use sexual language to attempt to humiliate you. If the guys you are playing with have self-esteem problems related to women, then your being a woman will certainly stoke them up and increase their need to put you down.
Now, of course, if you are being harassed in game by anyone, you can report them to the GM. Firmly, but politely, tell them you aren't interested. And if it continues, report them.
Unfortunately, it sounds like you are already in quite a mess and it will take time to straighten it out. There's a cautionary tale here. Just because you game with someone doesn't mean they are entitled to or worthy of your friendship. It is often best to be distant and establish boundaries. A lot of people bring too much of their real life into gaming and are actually unable to establish their own boundaries or recognize the boundaries of others. Sometimes a simple, "Not right now," or "I'm busy at the moment," gets the message across.
First off, let me start by saying I am a gamer over 30yrs old who is married to another gamer for 10+ yrs with a child and happy. I have played MMOs since Ultima Online (yeah, thats right) and this is as old as time.. I have seen it from the husband view, watching it from the wife view (when ppl didnt know i was RIGHT THERE on the comp next to my wife) and from the boyfriend/girlfriend views. ..Oh.. and my wife is a psychologist.. so.. yeah.If you wish to skip the below lets get right to the synopsis-
If you are going to game, join a family friendly guild that **meets in person** occasionally. Look for one full of happily married couples ect. If nothing else the in-person meets will allow you to establish your friend zone authoritatively. The anonymity of MMOs is just so ridiculaously deep of a negative tide to wade against for women its.. a bit sad. Expect this behavior from MMO's & guys. MMO's are FULL of males who's social interaction standards are Extremely unpolished. Most are not bad people, but most also do not know how to deal with social settings with full appropriateness. Many are also wont to flights of fantasy and engage in "fantasy thought" due to the MMO anonymity (what a person looks like, behaves like.. who they actually are in real life.
now for the specifics: (what follows is a highly charged opinion piece. it is a OPINION)
1- These are sad little people. They are starved for female attention. Generally, they are nice people but are often extremely naieve or befret of the kind of social attention they feel they need or that make them happy. They need therapy, or a mentor, or at the least a big brother/father figure to help guide them into being MEN. The most disturbing part of this paragraph is how you address them. You use extremely derogatory terms and words and yet you obviously feel they are "your followers" (your words). Might I suggest that you are only helping to further deepen their unhealthy behavior by associating with them.. AT ALL. You cannot change them. You cannot "friend zone" them. They have an unhealthy obsessive attraction to you-- im sorry-- who they FANTASIZE you are-- and if you wish to do what is best for them you will stop associating with them and using them for your benefit.
2- These people ARE irritated that you drag around a group of slightly disfuntional puppydogs. Some may hate you because they aint you, but the majority probably just agree with my above #1. Yes, they feel you just have a fan club because you are "just" a girl (and obviously at least a minimally charismatic one via voice). Yes, they feel like you are not "worthy" of such adoration. I feel somewhat the same way about a few of my friends who are multimillion dollar trust fund babies.. but guess what? My family has an estate too & i've seen the same look in some of my less financially fortunate friend's eyes aimed at me. Covetous and jealousy is a part of being a primal human. We all try and balance it with wisdom and humility .. but yeah. If yer dragging the puppydogs around.. they're gonna be pissed.
3- this group is most likely filled with a group similar to #1 ... except that instead of going submissive and pleasing and puppydogishly codependant.. they swung the opposite way to angry hateful hateraide guys. Many of these guys sucked down too hard on the kool-aid that "bad boys" are hot.. or attractive.. others are just angry that you'd never date or like them.. others are just beat by their dad or abused by their moms. Some might be #1's that have just snapped somewhere down the line (maybe not with you but with another girl) and some might be #2's just revved up to hell and back. .. really.. who cares? They're jerks. put them on ignore.
These problems are not unique or new.. they're ancient. The only way I know of that works to fix it is
1- join a guild that is Mature ..full of Married people.. that Meet in person occasionally (or a guild that is local?
2- joina Girl Gamer guild (a real one)
3- both 1&2 or
4- stop playing MMO's
just for the record ... I dont blame girls like you for this problem, personally. I blame all the parents out there who did not or have not raised their boys right to be young gentlemen instead of disfunctional lil boys (regardless of the age).
Good luck and Godspeed.
If you haven't, tell them you're a guy with a high voice. Or tell em you're transgendered and were actually a boy before this. (althoug the latter might backfire for different reasons).
Or pretend you're a 12 year old, they also have high pitched voices. Although I disapprove I can understand their behaviour. Women and men are not equal. They may have equal rights but are not the same. Videogames was all about meritocracy and the second someone is different that is ruined. That is the issue. Try to find a way to become the same in their mind. Worst case, start a new account, name change (and only pm the non dicks and tell them to keep it secret).