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Has playing a MMO ever made you lose anything?

DauzqulDauzqul Member RarePosts: 1,980

Has playing a MMO ever made you lose anything, e.g., significant other, friend, job, health?

 

When I was much younger, I put a lot of time into Star Wars Galaxies / EverQuest II. While it was fun, I could certainly tell that my relationship with my girlfriend (wife now) was changing for the worse. I went a good 6 months of solid playing before I had realized it was becoming a problem. I cut back and all has been good.

Comments

  • apocolusterapocoluster Member UncommonPosts: 1,326
    I lost my mind in '01      =)

    No matter how cynical you become, its never enough to keep up - Lily Tomlin

  • TjedTjed Member Posts: 162

    I was dating a girl for a while and we moved in together.  This was probably around 2003 or so.  Things went well, but then I felt like starting EQ back up again.  I tried to warn her that I would spend more time doing that than watching TV or going out to bars.  That's just how I am.  I guess she couldn't handle it.  We definately grew apart and eventually I moved out and we broke things off.  It happens and now I see that a large part of it was my fault for not explaining how I go through phases where I really get into gaming.  Not crazy all night, multi day poopsocking or anything, but I was probably playing 4-5 hours a night 4-5 days a week. 

    The next relationship I got into, I told her all of this right away.  Literally on our first date.  I told her that when the weather is nice I'm usually doing things outdoors but when it gets cold, I tend to hibernate and play videogames more than most people.  I told her that if I find a game I like, I might play 20-25 hours a week, and I completely stop watching TV or going out to bars when this happens. 

    We have been married for 7 years now, I still do a lot of gaming and everything is going great.  I made the mistake the first time of not being honest and up front about my gaming and learned my lesson. 

    I know that 20-25 hours a week isn't crazy and I know there are people that do much more, but even that was enough to cost me a relationship.  Honestly, I'm glad it worked out the way it did.  I'm not changing my hobby, so it was important that I find someone who was cool with it.   

  • SavageoneSavageone Member UncommonPosts: 79
    Time
  • RydesonRydeson Member UncommonPosts: 3,852
    Yep.. has me me lose any hope that a company can make a "AAA" mmo that promotes social unity, instead of this esport mentality.. 
  • Elevenb4Elevenb4 Member UncommonPosts: 361
    Originally posted by Tjed

    I was dating a girl for a while and we moved in together.  This was probably around 2003 or so.  Things went well, but then I felt like starting EQ back up again.  I tried to warn her that I would spend more time doing that than watching TV or going out to bars.  That's just how I am.  I guess she couldn't handle it.  We definately grew apart and eventually I moved out and we broke things off.  It happens and now I see that a large part of it was my fault for not explaining how I go through phases where I really get into gaming.  Not crazy all night, multi day poopsocking or anything, but I was probably playing 4-5 hours a night 4-5 days a week. 

    The next relationship I got into, I told her all of this right away.  Literally on our first date.  I told her that when the weather is nice I'm usually doing things outdoors but when it gets cold, I tend to hibernate and play videogames more than most people.  I told her that if I find a game I like, I might play 20-25 hours a week, and I completely stop watching TV or going out to bars when this happens. 

    We have been married for 7 years now, I still do a lot of gaming and everything is going great.  I made the mistake the first time of not being honest and up front about my gaming and learned my lesson. 

    I know that 20-25 hours a week isn't crazy and I know there are people that do much more, but even that was enough to cost me a relationship.  Honestly, I'm glad it worked out the way it did.  I'm not changing my hobby, so it was important that I find someone who was cool with it.   

    I never lost anything, but this is very reminiscent of what i told my wife on our first date. I told her I'm into Cars and outdoorsy stuff when the weather is nice. But in the evenings I'm gaming, or when it's cold, I'll game during the day too. I've never been a TV guy at all. Never had a problem. My friends told me I shouldn't tell her that the first date, but I felt it necessary to get these things out in the open. That way she could've been turned off or been okay with it. 

    Anyways, we have just celebrated our 9th anniversary as a married couple. She has never once gotten on me about gaming too much. I'm am blessed. 

    -Unconstitutional laws aren't laws.-

  • SovrathSovrath Member LegendaryPosts: 28,659
    Originally posted by Savageone
    Time

    yeah, that's pretty much me as well. And it was time well spent as I enjoyed it.

    Otherwise I tend to be really balanced in my life and don't let job or friends or relationships suffer over games.

  • GetzMangoGetzMango Member UncommonPosts: 182
    Money, time. That's about it. I'm not obsessive about my gaming and I try to keep a healthy balance.

    Every MMORPG is AWESOME, until it's released!
    I don't want a game so much as I want a WORLD!
    --
    o·pin·ion –noun
    1. a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
    2. a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.

  • CrazKanukCrazKanuk Member EpicPosts: 6,130

    I think that any sort of obsessive behaviour make you lose a loved one, etc. Drinking, drugs, sex..... with other people :) 

     

    Everything's got to be in moderation. Most people end up learning this like you did. I came close to it myself on a couple occasions. First it was Xwing vs Tie Fighter....... Sweet, sweet XvT awwwwwwwww........ next it was WoW. I think that when it gets to a point where you're like logging into the game during commercial breaks, you might have a problem. Or if you're "Just playing it when we're sitting here watching TV! We're not even doing anything" then you're probably missing the point at some level. 

     

    Now, I generally reserve a few hours at the end of the night when my wife is sleeping for games. The rest of the time, I'm spending quality time with her only.... and checking in on my "Free" iOS games. It'll only take 2 minutes though!!!

     

    Crazkanuk

    ----------------
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    Demonicron - 90 Death Knight - Emerald Dream - US
    Tankinpain - 90 Monk - Azjol-Nerub - US
    Brindell - 90 Warrior - Emerald Dream - US
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  • Elevenb4Elevenb4 Member UncommonPosts: 361
    Originally posted by Reham34
    I've lost the desire to go out to the bar and waste $100/night to feel like crap the next two days...or wait maybe it's my wonderful wife that made me lose that...I'll give them both 50/50 credit. 

    FOr some reason multiquote wasn't working so I'm having to make a separate post for this one.....

     

    Anyways, this is the reason I started gaming. I had a room mate, biggest "Nerd" in the world. ALways wearing a homeade EQ t-Shirt and playing it all the time during his free time. During my freetime, I was out partying, you know, celebrating being awy from home. I didn't this for about two years. During that time, my roomate, still playing his games, had a nice car, nice stuff, never late on bills, etc. I was like the opposite, living check to check, borrowing money to go out several times  a week, I didn't have a car, I didn't have a tv or hardly anything. 

    One night, I was just too broke to go out, opted to stay in and watch my roomie's tv. He said, "Hey, come play this instead, I'm leaving for the weekend, read some of my books (forgotten realm) if you get bored." 

    This changed my life. I had never been a gamer, but that moment back in '01 I was hooked on all things fantasy. I cut my going out partying to just two times a month, 6 months later i had a car and money in my bank account. All in all, I really believe gaming saved my life. I've made some of the best friends in MMO's. I have a house, 5 rental properties, because for some reason, gaming has turned me into a more frugal person since I'm not out sending so much lol.  

    -Unconstitutional laws aren't laws.-

  • fs23otmfs23otm Member UncommonPosts: 503

    EQ was one of the contributing factors to my first divorce. However, looking back it was not the game, it was we were just at different points in our life. I was at the "save money" and be a homebody. she was at the go out and do things.

    My second marriage is much better. We are both homebodies, but we occasionally get out and do things. We play together and gaming stops when it has to. 

  • k11keeperk11keeper Member UncommonPosts: 1,048
    Just a few years set back of my early adult life and an academic scholarship. The daily pot smoking was probably just as much an issue as playing every waking hour when not at school or working. Now I play in moderation
  • AlBQuirkyAlBQuirky Member EpicPosts: 6,272


    Originally posted by Savageone
    Time
    That's about it for me, too. And maybe money, but most of the time, I feel the money was well spent :)

    - Al

    Personally the only modern MMORPG trend that annoys me is the idea that MMOs need to be designed in a way to attract people who don't actually like MMOs. Which to me makes about as much sense as someone trying to figure out a way to get vegetarians to eat at their steakhouse.
    - FARGIN_WAR


  • VolgoreVolgore Member EpicPosts: 3,872

    Lost a close friend to his WoW addiction. We started together, but soon he lost control of his gaming habits which got more and more extreme. Eventually he quit his job, joined hardcore guild and quit all contacts to any of his former friends due to constant raiding. I hope he is doing well today.

    I also lost some quality time with my girlfriend at that time. We played together and more often than not she told me to get into my car and get over to her...while i rather did one more BRD run or another level up.

    image
  • JemcrystalJemcrystal Member UncommonPosts: 1,939
    Opposite.  I had failing health but gaming kept my mind, eye, and hand coordination going.  Plus being with online friends helped.  You don't like to be around in real life friends because you depress them.  Online friends can't see you're sick.  But when I was the sickest I couldn't game.  Gave me a reason to come back from the grave ^^.  No games in a hospital.  Television sucks.  Very boring.  And cold.  Even if the nurses are nice and bring you dryer warmed bed blankets (I learned to pack coat, blanket, and extra sweats).


  • DrunkWolfDrunkWolf Member RarePosts: 1,649
    does waist line and abs count? i got fat when i first starting playing mmos lol was so addicted. that damn south park episode was me playing asherons call.
  • whisperwyndwhisperwynd Member UncommonPosts: 1,668
     Sleep. Pulling all nighters just to stay in that group. I've recovered since. Older we get, the more we like our sleep.  image
  • DzoneDzone Member UncommonPosts: 371


    I've been gaming for around 20 years, started way back on the atarie 2600. When I was younger, in elementary school I didn't game as much. I used to hang around the neighborhood, ride my bike, skate, hang around the other kids, climb trees. Soon as I hit middle school and we moved, I've always stayed in my house. Never hardly talked to anyone in school and just gamed when I was home.

     

    When I graduated I got a full-time job. Now for the past 15 years, I've always just worked and whent strait home to play games or watch tv. Still live at home havn't really changed my whole life. Never had a girlfriend, always been to shy, but my job has got me socializing with people at work, but never when I'm off work... well kinda socialize sometimes in mmo's though. Only time I ever go anyware, is those 3 weeks of vacation, my parents always take me someware.

     

    If I really get into a game again, for while I will prolly put in around 40 hours a week. Nowadays I always have a set time I game each day, always go to bed around same time and get up same time every day. Back when I played ffxi though, sometimes I would stay up all day after work just playing that. I guss modern mmo's just don't have me doing that anymore, I've never felt like playing ffxiv arr really long sessions like I did with ffxi, even though I have the time for it on my nights off work.

     

    So ye, I've had this erge in the past to get out some, expecially a few years ago, for months, I really wanted to go to a concert and was periodically checking ticketmaster and saw my favorite dj was actually gona be performing only 1 hour drive from my home. I couldn't miss that chance to see DJ tiesto. I had a really good time that night. I wasn't nervous at all being in that crowd and just had a really good time. Really surprised me. Was so refreshing actually doing something outside the house for once.

     

    Ye I prolly need to get out more, somedays I kinda want to and sorta getting bored with ffxiv arr. Been playing that everyday for the past 7 months. I even try not to look to much at attractive girls at my job, and always tell myself that I don't got time for that, that would mess up my gaming time.

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