"I am involved in..." Tom counted quickly on his long, white fingers. "...thirteen wars which are being prosecuted in Faerie Major. In one particularly complicated case I have allied myself with the Millstone Beast and with his enemy, La Dame d'Aprigny, and sent armies to both of them..." Tom paused here and frowned at his horse's ears. "Which means I suppose that I am at war with myself. Now why did I do that?"
- Susanna Clarke, The Ladies of Grace Adieu and other stories
If you write, be polite.