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Fun caricatures / posts

DeeweDeewe Member UncommonPosts: 1,980

Trying to recap the fun and weird stuff posted about TOR.

 

Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

  • DeeweDeewe Member UncommonPosts: 1,980

     



    Quote:


    Originally Posted by BinaryReporter


    December 9, 2011



    Star Wars™: The Old Republic™ Launch Threatened



    All Systems have been put on hold for Launch on December 20 and Early Game Access Program* Beginning December 13 





    AUSTIN, Texas--(BUSINESS WIRE)-- After successfully concluding one of the largest-ever Beta tests for an MMO, BioWare™, a Label of Electronic Arts (NASDAQ: ERTS), had been making final preparations for one of the biggest entertainment launches of the year as Star Wars™: The Old Republic™ planned to reach stores on December 20, 2011 in North America and on December 15th in Europe. But BioWare executives revealed today that a development issue has threatened release plans.



    According to Development lead, Harry Whittington, there is still one major obstacle holding back the launch, but developers expect it to be cleared by December 13. "We are missing one single orange pixel. We have a couple of leads on where it went, but until we can secure the missing pixel we've notified all media outlets to hold back on distribution and not release the product into the hands of consumers."



    Hardware manufacturers Viewsonic, LG and Sony have all filed temporary injunctions attempting to stop the release until the pixel is located. "We are not prepared to assume the burden of support calls and product returns that will be generated by the missing pixel. Electronic Arts needs to step up and address this before letting the product out", said Sony product manager Hiro Yamamoto. 



    The Federal Trade Commission announced plans late today to halt all Internet traffic in the state of Texas until the matter is resolved. Said FTC Assistant Secretary Jack Boot, "We expect an avalanche of downloads as consumers attempt to download, re-download, and finally send complaints to all parties involved, and we will not allow this to disrupt interstate commerce over the Internet. The shutdown is not expected to be permanent, no more than a few days after the game's launch".



    About LucasArts



    Founded in 1982 by filmmaker George Lucas, LucasArts is a leading publisher and developer of interactive entertainment. With development facilities in San Francisco and Singapore, LucasArts leverages the global skills, technology and resources of the Lucasfilm family of companies -- including visual effects leader Industrial Light & Magic, Lucasfilm Animation and Skywalker Sound -- in addition to strategic partnerships with best-in-class external partners, to further the boundaries of game development. LucasArts is dedicated to delivering deeply immersive, visually spectacular and engaging experiences that inspire and amaze generations. 



    About BioWare



    The BioWare Label is a division of EA which crafts high quality multiplatform role-playing, MMO and strategy games, focused on emotionally engaging, rich stories with unforgettable characters and vast worlds to discover. Since 1995, BioWare has created some of the world's most critically acclaimed titles and franchises, including Baldur's Gate™, Neverwinter Nights™, Star Wars®: Knights of the Old Republic™, Jade Empire™, Mass Effect™ and Dragon Age™. BioWare currently operates in eight locations across the world, including Edmonton (Alberta, Canada), Montreal (Quebec, Canada), Austin (Texas), Fairfax (Virginia), San Francisco (California), Los Angeles (California), Sacramento (California) and Galway (Ireland). 



    In 2008, BioWare was acquired by Electronic Arts, a leading global interactive entertainment publisher. In 2011 EA created the BioWare Label, alongside EA Games, EA SPORTS™ and EA Play. For more information on BioWare, visit www.bioware.com, or follow us on Twitter atwww.twitter.com/bioware. To join the millions of fans already registered with the BioWare community, go to http://social.bioware.com



    About Electronic Arts



    Electronic Arts (NASDAQ:ERTS) is a global leader in digital interactive entertainment. The Company's game franchises are offered as both packaged goods products and online services delivered through Internet-connected consoles, personal computers, mobile phones and tablets. EA has more than 100 million registered players and operates in 75 countries. 



    In fiscal 2011, EA posted GAAP net revenue of $3.6 billion. Headquartered in Redwood City, California, EA is recognized for critically acclaimed, high-quality blockbuster franchises such as The Sims™, Madden NFL, FIFA Soccer, Need for Speed™, Battlefield, and Mass Effect™. More information about EA is available at http://info.ea.com



    LucasArts, the LucasArts logo, STAR WARS and related properties are trademarks in the United States and/or in other countries of Lucasfilm Ltd. and/or its affiliates. © 2011 Lucasfilm Entertainment Company Ltd. or Lucasfilm Ltd. All rights reserved. BioWare and the BioWare logo are trademarks of EA International (Studio and Publishing) Ltd. EA and the EA logo are trademarks of Electronic Arts Inc. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. 







    Electronic Arts

    Alana Logan, 512-287-7732

    Publicist

    [email protected]

    Andrew Wong, 650-628-2781

    Director of PR

    [email protected]

    Tammy Levine, 650-628-7223

    VP, Worldwide PR

    [email protected]







    Yes, this is a JOKE. Do NOT take it seriously.

    (Happy Forum Wipe, everyone!!)






    Quote:


    Originally Posted by Darka


    Like Star Wars related MMO Humour? 

    May i present

    Lewt Wars



    Long but worth it 




    Leakz inside:




    Quote:


    Originally Posted by Ithorians.com


    Exclusive leaks from deep inside game testing

    Friday, July 16th, 2010 | By ebado 

    Several players deep undercover in Star Wars: The Old Republic testing have confirmed several revolutionary new MMO features to Ithorians.com.







    One player, who was playing a sparkly vampire bounty hunter, said he was shocked when he first logged in.



    “It was so bizarre,” the child said. “I mean, I got to this screen, and there were options to choose a server, and elsewhere, you could choose what character you wanted to play. You could even create a new one.”



    Although Ithorians can not confirm what the sparkly vampire saw with any of our other sources, our researches confirm that the player most likely saw some sort of portal to transport the player into what our researchers are calling “the game world.”



    Another player, who would only identify himself as DarthTerriosity, said that when in game, he had the option to “fight” other beings within game world.



    “So after I was done trying to make my character look as evil as possible, I walked outside this building and saw some things that looked like virtual models of people in front of me,” DarthTerriosity said. “I approached them, and they started shooting at me. Luckily I had a gun, so I was able to shoot back and kill them, but man, it was intense.”



    DarthTerriosity went on to explain that killing people and completing what he called “quests,” which to our knowledge are favors done for other people in the game world, he attained what he called “experience points.”



    “So we got these points, and when we got enough of them, we leveled up,” DarthTerriosity said.



    DarthTerriosity had to run off to his mother’s car before we could figure out what he meant by “leveled up.”



    BioWare HQ probably refused to comment on these developments, but we refused to ask them for comments, so it kind of evens out.



    Stick with Ithorians for the latest in this exclusive breaking story.


    When the testing started, an epic post:




    Quote:


    Originally Posted by Fett


    Dear Bioware (and fellow forum readers)



    I've decided that since I wasn't picked to test the game itself, I would offer feedback on the selection criteria, as it appears to be bugged.



    This is a vitally important piece of the process to testing your game, however I find that given my name was not selected for testing, there appears to serious bugs with the process. However I do not have tools to report this particular issue, so I need beta access to generate a ticket to let you know if this issue.



    I assume there was a selection criteria, and given my level of intelligent and qualifications I think you must have weighted some of the variables incorrectly :





    My qualities and qualifications include, but are not limited to :



    1) I have watched each Star Wars movie around 40 times, with the exception of TFM, which I have watched approximately 60 times, to see if I was missing something.



    2) I infrequently visit these forums to better my chances of being selected due to being a good contributor to the community. I'm a listener rather than a talker, so I feel I have been unfairly marginalized due to my own forum style in this respect over people who feel the need to chit-chat incessantly about SWTOR.



    3) I've told at least 3 people how good this game is going to be, and even made disparaging remarks about other competing games in other MMO forums.



    4) I have a very high IQ, which was measured at only 130 due to similar shortcomings in this selection process as well. I have written down my thoughts and constructed a letter out of newspaper print to MENSA to correct them on a few questions and advise better question selection techniques.



    5) I have a poorly paid job that I can quit, and a disposable other half to ensure I can focus solely on playing, erm I mean testing this game. I also have a PC in the bedroom so I can test at any time. My house is fully stocked with snacks food and sodas and the bathroom is easily accessible being centrally located. I believe I could go for about 3 months all told, if asked to test without interruption. I also have medical proof I am a registered insomniac and so can test at any time.



    6) Without exception, I am well known in every MMO I play. I have managed to fill friends lists many time over in virtual communities and have made a real name for myself as being 'that guy', so I'm happy to say I really make myself known in games. I don't think people forget me in a hurry.



    7) I have had out of body experiences where I felt that I did in fact possess the force and understand the responsibility that comes with great power. The fact I woke up naked in my neighbours garden at 3am demonstrates that my Midichlorian count must be off the charts (it was a more spiritual thing in the past, but I felt that was more controversial, so I toned it down to a scientific explanation to ensure that more people would listen) during these force sensitive episodes. I've yet to mentor an apprentice as I've not met another Jedi, however I do feel disturbances in the force from time to time, I believe Megan Fox could have Sith powers.



    8) I can drink about 12 pints of strong continental lager without vomiting (Stella Artois or equivalent)



    9) You need me to play this game for it to be successful. I've played other MMO's and they have been overwhelmingly successful, so it doesn't take a genius to see there is a pattern here. I have also tested other games to ensure that my class is the strongest, so when the game goes live, I have been able to dominate the game for at least a short period of time.



    10) I am excellent at keeping secrets, I'll never tell!!!





    So as you can see, I think this puts me ahead of the pack. Sure there is a lot of other threads here competing for pity beta keys, but I truly believe my qualities allow me to stand head and shoulders above the rest. I'm not asking for pity, I'm asking for common sense and for you to go back and debug your selection process. I am also able to help with more advanced programming and design aspects given my total understanding of the MMO genre (despite never actually working for a MMO company, I mean how difficult can it be?)



    If you need any further information regarding the problem, please PM directly or even deliver the discs by hand, the sooner the better. I'm looking for a direct developer response on this one, given the severity and my level of competence to ensure that SWTOR is the best MMO on the market, or it will just wither and die as it competes with other games I am testing.



    May a force be with us!





    UPDATE : Given the overwhelming support of the forum community and the sheer volume of responses I believe that if we are able to keep this going, I will have the basis for a class action lawsuit against Bioware based on their unreasonable and secretive selection criteria. Being an amateur law buff, I'm sure I could put something together which would make a compelling legal case.



    I really don't want to go the litigious route, but I feel I'm running out of options here.




    And the rumors about the beta spread out the galaxy:




    Quote:


    Originally Posted by Ernham


    Darth Vader: They are here.

    Governor Tarkin: The Beta keys? What makes you think so?

    Darth Vader: A tremor in the Force ... And in my biotic pants... The last time I felt it was in the presence of my Computer in front of that new HOPE trailer ....

    Governor Tarkin: Surely it must be a false rumor by now...

    Darth Vader: Don't underestimate the Force.

    Governor Tarkin: The MMo Genre is extinct, it's fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that's left of that Swtor idea !



    [answering a comm signal]



    Governor Tarkin: Yes?

    Voice over comm: We have an emergency alert on Public forum !!

    Governor Tarkin: The Beta Keys? Put all sections on alert.

    Darth Vader: Bioware arrives. The Force is with them.

    Governor Tarkin: If you're right, he must not be allowed to escape.

    Darth Vader: Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone and discover the Friday's update.

    Governor Tarkin: Alone ! But you will fail in getting the Beta Keys !!!

    Darth Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing. Don't be too proud of this technological terror they've constructed. The ability to destroy a a man's life is insignificant next to the power of the Force.




    BioWare war room after the E3 multiplayer video reveal, thread






    Quote:


    Originally Posted by SocialParadox


    Bioware Dev 1: "Oh ****! Have you seen the Forums recently?"



    Bioware Dev 2: "Yes, who was the idiot playing the Jedi Consular?"



    Bioware Dev 3: "Geez, I was just trying to show off the action going on. How was I suppose to know that they would assume I could only heal. For ****'s sake, I healed every 10 seconds! That's a pretty lame healbot."



    Bioware Dev 1: "Never...Underestimate...Stupidity!!" 



    Bioware Dev 4: "Oh my God. New problem guys!! They're taking Dallas's personal liking of the Dark Side's story line as fact that it's better!!"



    Bioware Dev 2: "The ****? He just enjoys killing people!!"



    Bioware Dev 5: "Guys, we got a big issue! Apparently we're the next big WoW-clone."



    Bioware Dev 1: "When did this happen!?"



    Bioware Dev 5: "Well as soon as the word "warzone" popped up, we're now, and I quote, "WoW with glowsticks..."



    Bioware Dev 2: "Okay guys focus...what can we do to disprove all of these things?" 



    Bioware Dev 1: "That's impossible! How are we suppose to appeal to so many diverse and extreme opinions!?"



    Bioware Dev 3: "Um...not bother reading forums anymore, seeing as they're mostly misinformed and are simply speculating and focus on creating the game as best as we can, have a well-run beta, gather info there and listen to the more well-informed criticisms there, polish up the game, and release our best effort?"



    The Other Bioware Devs: "Yeah...let's go with that."

    And 




    Quote:


    Originally Posted by Deewe


    After the meeting:

    Dev 2 (puzzled) to dev 3: Did you know Dallas was actually listening to the quests?



    Daniel Erickson (passing by, stopping strait) : Did I heard quests guyz? Grow up! Are you not fed up of mocking us yet?



    Dev 3 (half giggling) : Well Daniel seems you got a fan. I mean a real fan...



    Dev 2 (smiling) : Yes and not a nobody, btw



    Daniel being called by Greg (scratches head, then pointing a finger at the devs) : This conversation isn't over! We'll finish it...



    Greg (shouting) Daniel! I have John Riccitiello on the phone he wants explanations about the mess on the forums and bring Sean while you're there.



    Sean (sweating, in conference call with the moderators, imperative) : Ok guys and girls, Sergent Sean speaking, I want every one of you mark my words carefully. I won't tolerate any inappropriate behavior from you on the forums, be calm, be polite and handle every post/tickets with the utter reflexion.



    Daniel (storming into Sean office): Sean...



    Sean (exploding with rage): What the F*** is this!!! Can't I have people respect our work!



    Sean staring at a MSN popup on his screen, then looking at Daniel confused: Well sorry Daniel, haven't sleep for the last 48h yet.



    Later on while hurrying to Greg office.



    Sean (troubled) to Greg: Daniel... you know we are good friends, yes?



    Daniel: Sure Sean, is there is something?



    Sean (stopping, looking strait into Daniel eyes) : Well you would tell me if there was something between you and Dallas. I've been in the army, I thought you where, you know girls... well I can understand, but I gave you my trust, you have to tell me.



    Greg (shouting) : Sean, Daniel move your as* and someone get me Dallas!






    Quoting the devs in an... oriented way:




    Quote:


    Originally Posted by Deewe


    Foreword: With the help of a few forum members Deewe was able to have a small chat with Dallas Dickinson, senior content producer at BioWare Austin and Jake Neri, producer at LucasArts.



    Please find below the report from the "conversation"


    --- ---


    [Doors open vertically: an heavily tattooed alien enters a dark room followed closely by an old G0-T0 droid model.



    [Door closes abruptly behind them. Camera moves to the left showing 2 humans held by Geonosian containment fields]



    [Images censored - stranges noises in the background]



    - Deewe: Hello Jake and Dallas it's a pleasure to meet you both. (Evil grin) Before we start would you like to say something?



    - Jake Neri: We're not talking about that now



    - Deewe: Dallas?



    - Dallas Dickinson: To be revealed at a later date. 



    - Deewe (imperative): We are here at the request of 206305 forums members that want answers, real answers.



    - Dallas Dickinson: That's also something we're not talking about yet.



    - Deewe (troubled) : I did not ask any questions.



    - Jake Neri: We can't be specific about any of that stuff.



    [Deewe opening hands pointing at Dallas and Jake...]



    [Images censored - Lighting noise, shouts...]



    [Camera travelling from Deewe, close up, to Dallas]



    - Deewe (imperative): We want answers, NOW!



    - Dallas Dickinson (frightened) : One of our key differentiators is story, right?



    [Dallas looking at Jake still recovering, unable to speak]



    - Dallas Dickinson (talking faster): Without going into details, sure, yes



    [Due to the ESRB a lengthy passage has been cut off]



    [Deewe now looks angry, Both Dallas and Jake are heavily sweating]



    Deewe (malevolent): So be it, have it your way gentlemen. G0-T0!



    [The droid moves towards the humans, Deewes passes in front of the camera hiding the scene. Shouts of pain]



    [Minutes laters...]



    - Deewe: I see the serums nows control your mind, good. Let's resume our conversation.



    - Deewe: Dallas, what do you want to tell us about SWTOR?



    - Dallas Dickinson (smiling widely): (laughs) We don't have details on player bounties. .../... We'll talk more about this later



    - Dallas Dickinson: I don't think we've revealed all of our planets thus far



    - Deewe (raising an eyebrow): Jake?



    - Jake Neri (gaping): That was an awesome answer



    - Dallas Dickinson (grinning): Thanks, dude. I'm so full of PR. It's awesome. 



    - Deewe (mad): Answer or I'll use my Sith powers to make you suffer for ever!



    - Jake Neri (confused): We don't have any specifics on any of the Jedi classes



    - Dallas Dickinson: We have mentioned them, yeah, but we haven't given a lot of details.



    - Deewe (shouting): Enough of it! Let's finish with this farce.



    - Jake Neri: Yeah, absolutely. Story is important for us. We think it's a differentiator



    - Deewe (igniting his lightsaber): Prepare to die!



    - Jake Neri (Now serious, looking at the saber blade): Well, chocolate is denser. Sometimes when something blends to awesome, you just don't care



    - Deewe (advancing): Fools you underestimate the power of the Dark Side!



    - Jake Neri: The thing is, all those questions, each one of them probably represents some amazing thoughts that are happening right now. 



    - Deewe (scratches head, puzzled)...



    [Video fades off, SW music starting...]



    Note: no quotes were harmed during filming of this production



    [Quotes from IGN interview here]


    /

  • DeeweDeewe Member UncommonPosts: 1,980

    Added the space shooter pic, enjoy!

  • NazgolNazgol Member Posts: 864

    kinda sad that your keeping this thread alive. even sadder that other than me no one even cares to respond to it even though youe have had it here a couple of day.

    In Bioware we trust!

  • ElikalElikal Member UncommonPosts: 7,912

    XD

    Though after playing GW1 and getting NO COOL LOOT at all... I rather have odd loot than no loot. So I kinda made my peace with TORs look, heh. ^^

    People don't ask questions to get answers - they ask questions to show how smart they are. - Dogbert

  • DeeweDeewe Member UncommonPosts: 1,980

    Originally posted by Elikal

     

    XD

    Though after playing GW1 and getting NO COOL LOOT at all... I rather have odd loot than no loot. So I kinda made my peace with TORs look, heh. ^^

     Good one!

     

    Added yours and the companion one.

  • DeeweDeewe Member UncommonPosts: 1,980

    One more pic ;)

  • gimmekeygimmekey Member Posts: 117

    /pity post

  •  

    No pity post here. Awesome compilation and I was giggling all the way through.

    I liked the epic selection criteria feedback post best. :)

    Any Rift fans that enjoy giggle threads... might want to check out this.

     

  • DeeweDeewe Member UncommonPosts: 1,980

    Originally posted by Strap

     

    No pity post here. Awesome compilation and I was giggling all the way through.

    I liked the epic selection criteria feedback post best. :)

    Any Rift fans that enjoy giggle threads... might want to check out this.

     

    Thanks!

     

    Added one more pic and the epic post about the lost orange pixel ;)

  • mmoguy43mmoguy43 Member UncommonPosts: 2,770

    I haven't seen the comic one before and a good laugh it was

  • loradoveloradove Member UncommonPosts: 62

    Locking thread due to necro. Please do not revive old threads.

     

    Thanks.

This discussion has been closed.