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MMOs like every game before them, including tic-tac-toe and street fighter 2 provide joy to the people playing the game because they choose to find joy in them.
If you don't enjoy playing your MMO, there is nothing they could change to make you enjoy your time playing the game. Any game that you consider a "grinder" or "just another clone" will always live up to your expectations because you will never allow it to move outside of your preconceived notions.
MMOs these days have advanced to a point where there is so much to do, we can't even decide for ourselves, so we follow whatever is the shiniest. Instead of logging in, talking to our guildmates, and just having fun playing around in the virtual world, we force ourselves to follow some pre-conceived path dictated by developers and quest writers.
Do we have to follow the quests? No. But what else is there to do? EVERYTHING!
Take WoW for example. Hugely quest focused, completely dependent on heroics and raids. Or is it? What is really telling us to play the game like that? Did the older games most people get nostalgic for force them to play a certain way?
The people who have the most fun playing WoW are those people who play the way they want to. Trying to level without killing anything, or following a certain story line, or repeatedly running dungeons or battlegrounds. But the biggest thing people seem to forget is that there is no pre-determined path on how to play these games. What are your goals when playing these games? Are you even thinking of having fun or is everything just another stepping stone to be the best rogue on the server?
Life is what you make of it and MMOs aren't anything more.
If you aren't having fun playing MMOs, it's your fault. Not the developers for poor design, and not the community for whining. You decide how to get enjoyment out of the game, not everyone else.
MMOs played: Horizons, Auto Assault, Ryzom, EVE, WAR, WoW, EQ2, LotRO, GW, DAoC, Aion, Requiem, Atlantica, DDO, Allods, Earth Eternal, Fallen Earth, Rift
Willing to try anything new