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Addicts

I am an Addict.



Yes, I admit it. I am not afraid too. I will be an addict my whole life, even if I am not using. An addict may recover, but will always remain an addict, since there is always a chance of relapse. Addictions come big and small, different sorts and different ways. But the most serious addictions are Substances, Gambling, Weight, ETC. 



People judge addicts, most people don't think addicts are normal people, but we are. Some have went so far down the road, that they may never change the way of their life ever again. Some people change their life and go back to their addiction, just to ruin everything they had worked so hard for. 



Addictions, ruin family , jobs and friendships + relationships. Most people don't have sympathy towards addicts, only their loved ones do.



People seem to think that addicts, chose to be addicts, but most did not. Most people just started their addiction and found a way to cope through it and didn't control it right, so they loss control. 



That is my life. I turned a drug/alcohol addict young. I used marijuana and turned it into a gateway and slipped towards cocaine and pills. I found these harder drugs , good, why? I found them good because they made me think less about all the negatives in my life. I ran away, with drugs and left my family to worry. On countless occasions to recent day, have I used. Recently, I have been battling with my addictions, now and then, I lose control. When I do, I binge. I get messed up, drink until I black-out, sniff until I feel no pain.



I am not proud of this, but I can see it. Doe's that make me a stronger addict than the bum on the street? No it doe's not. We are all the same, fighting the same battle.



I fight to stay clean, for my kid, for my lack of health and better judgement. I see hope and faith(tattooed on my arm) in my future, therefore , I do what it takes to turn my life, where I won't be fighting myself to use.



Some may say, do the 12 steps. I have went to groups, many times. But I find the steps more about a "higher power", I am not saying Jesus , but a higher power. I find this confusing and I don't think it will help me recover any easier.



Some of the steps are motivating, like making ammends with everyone you have hurt. Yes, I think this is good, but can be done if or if not your an addict.



So, I want to know everyones opinion on addicts, please do not troll. I opened up to you guys, just so I can hear what you guys think of addictions/addicts. Maybe you have faced people in your life who suffer as an addict. 

Comments

  • punkrockpunkrock Member Posts: 1,777

    i am also a addict not of drugs thou but of rpg games and mmorpg games.

    for me it all started when i was 6 with rpg games. my life sucked alot i could say some of the things but i wont it would just bring back bad memorys. if my spelling is off its for a reason my dad used to beat the hell out of me when i was 2-13 so it messed up my brian alot, anyways only thing i have ever been good at is these games no idea why but it gave me a seense of power.

    with mmorpg games it all started with DAOC when it into beta it changed my life i was 14 at that time. i made friends even a family. everyhting felt real to me, i just loved how i could be a leader in there and lead people to victory with ways others hated me for. but in real life i was no good or so i was told.

    so when i hit 18 years old my addiction was out fo control i used to spend two days in a row just playing any mmorpg going from one to another like water looking for that fix i guess you could say. i lost alot fo weight not eating sometimes not even drinking. then when i was 20 my life changed but for the better. i meet a beautiful girl just took alot of that way and teached me how to control it and took her time with me. hell i did not even learn to drive becouse of my addiction i was late on that and school i did not finish until i was 19.

    do i still play mmorpg games, yes i do hell look i am typeing on here lol but i am better at it to were i can just turn it off and not worry about playing for days. sometimes thou i do get this thing to were i stay on for 10 hours but thats rare.

     

    thats my story

    edit: the short version really lol

  • PyndaPynda Member UncommonPosts: 856

    I have my own addictions (cigarettes and I'm overweight), so I do have some insight into just how hard it really is to quit. But recently I've been dealing with an old best friend who has now fallen into full blown alcoholism. And I'm coming to the end of my rope. That drug is pure evil. I just can't take his phone calls every single day anymore (everyone else, including his wife, has abandoned him now) with their sometimes hours long incoherent rambling. The paranoia and the delusions. The thinking on par with that of a dull, retarded child. The veiled threats (of suicide for one), lies, denials and evasions all designed to evoke my sympathy and manipulate me into doing exactly what he wants me to do. Be essentially his new unpaid whore and put up with this bullshit forever, I suppose.


    Well, anyway...


    I guess what I wanted to say to you is that you've got to forgive the people, even your own family, who will have to leave you behind if you can't quit. We each have only one life given to us, and I believe it's extremely unfair to believe that anyone should have to follow someone else - whether out of love or loyalty - on a path to what basically amounts to Hell. To me hard drug addiction is very much like death. And it really is a "road nobody can go down for you. You've got to go there by yourself."


    BTW - my friend also said he couldn't swallow the whole God thing when I offered to go to AA with him. And marijuana was your gateway? You seem in other places in your post like you are trying not to rationalize and to be honest with yourself. But that struck me as an example of possible excuse making.


    However...I hope you overcome this. Many people do, you know! Best of luck.

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