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I was a fool not to see it. I was blind to the truth. It was standing right in front of me the whole time and I didn't even see it. I didn't even know it was there but now I do know it's there and I am so sorry for not caring for it's presence. I'm sorry I didn't see your happiness, your joy, you pleasure when you killed another womp rat, leveled another toon and survived another 12 hour raid with your friends of Azeroth and your friends of WoW.
I was so mean to you, I was cruel!!! I called you so many bad names. I told you you were dumb and stupid to be playing such a simple and easy game when all the while it was me who was really suffering. It was me who didn't like the game, not you, but me and others like me who found themselves alone in a world where the minority were the loudest, but they were not the happiest. They were not satisified with the way things were, the status quo, they were lonely and they didn't even know, we didn't see our loneliness staring right at us, daring us to look in the mirror and confront our loneliness our fears...our pain.
But we didn't, I didn't and as a result the silent majority kept marching on to the beat of their very own drum. They kept on playing their game, leveling their characters in peace while I and others like myself screamed in agony, we screamed in pain for something better, something more to satisfy our hunger, quench our thirst and fill our bellies. Sadly our cries fell on deaf ears, leaving us alone in the darkness, leaving us alone in the cold with empty bellies and unknown fears.
I was sad because I was alone. I didn't have a game to play. I didn't have a realm to call my own making me essentially homeless in a world, a forum where gaming was everything. Gaming was a way of life, a way to past the time. Without out a game to play I couldn't pass the time so the only way to do so was to vent and vent I did. I wrote nasty letters to the people, the silent majority, the people who were happy, the people who were content. I wrote them nasty letters, I wrote them a dirty song. Look at my history, just look at my past and you will see my anger, you will see rage, but most of all you will see my terrible, terrible hate.
I am not proud of my actions. What I did was wrong. The things I said were foolish and borderline childish and I apologize for my behavior. I apologize from the bottom of my heart because your happiness, your joy means a lot to me. It makes me a better person, a more compassionate gamer and a more understanding man. I may not like World of Warcraft, or games like it, but who am I to deny you of your happiness? What right do I have to tell you how to play your game and have your fun?
I saw first hand the joy and happiness this game brings to people. My friend and I stood in line waiting for the bell to drop. All around us were people from all different backgrounds, different religions and different ways of life, waiting for that came to come out and greet them with open arms and a smile. I saw the happiness, I felt the joy and it was beautiful, it was pure bliss.
This is what it is all about I said to myself as we drove home. People playing together, laughing together as a collective unit, as a family of gamers with a common purpose, a common interest and a common goal. It was right in front of me the whole time and I couldn't believe I didn't see it before, the people, the smiles, the joy this game brings to their heart of hearts, their soul of souls. I tried to tear these people down. I tried to break their spirits, telling them they were stupid, screaming at them that they were dumb for playing such a simple and easy game when in reality it was ME who was stupid, it was ME who was dumb because I didn't see the people standing right in front of me, smiling, laughing, having a good time all because they could be together in a game they loved and cherished.
I see you clearly now, I see your happiness and I see your joy and I love you with every bone in my body and every vein in my heart. I love you for the smiles and the joy you bring to this world with your energy and passion for the game. I apologize for my blindness, my anger clouded my judgement, fogged my vision, fueled my rage, and now that the fog is clear my rage is gone and my anger has subsided. My anger, is gone.
I will probably never love the game of WoW(unless they make a WoWville), but one thing is for certain, I will always love you. I love you because I care. I apologize for my actions. I hope you can forgive me and I hope I can continue to grow and be a better person, a better gamer and most of all, a better man. Thank you for reading my friends. Thank you for listening to my words and most of all thank you for listening to my apology.