A Must Read for a laugh

rathma

 If your looking for a good laugh, you came to the right place.

 http://adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html

 Apparently some elderly woman wrote up about her son being a hacker. She says "To this end, I have decided to publish the top ten signs that your son is a hacker. I advise any parents to read this list carefully and if their son matches the profile, they should take action". Sounded professional enough, I thought i'd read what the 10 things were.

 When i finished reading them, i was laughing so much. This person has no idea what they are talking about.

rathma

 Once i got to number 3 that was it for me. I was on the ground laughing.

 ". Has your child asked for new hardware?

Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer.

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well. "

nooblet

They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory.

LMFAO!!! yup thats a sure sign your son is a hacker , ROFL!!

EQ2 Qeynos Guild- http://www.imperium-arcanum.com

rathma

9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?

If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.

 ROFL

nooblet

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Originally posted by rathma
9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?
If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.
ROFL

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LOL i was just about to paste that. Was the guy who wrote this on drugs or something?

That is sooo retarted lmfaoo. ''They may wear baggy pants'' k i seriously think this guy has lost touch with reality if he thinks someones a hacker if they wear ''baggy pants'' lmao. This guy is a retard or whoever wrote it , i wouldnt be suprised if its some sortve joke.

EQ2 Qeynos Guild- http://www.imperium-arcanum.com

Serien

LOL this lady is so STUPID!

I guess we're a community of all hackers now aren't we..

lol

nooblet

Also, the reduction in exercise may cause him to lose muscle mass, and even to start gaining weight. For the sake of your child's mental and physical health, you must put a stop to his hacking, and limit his computer time drastically.

No sir , for your sake you need to get in touch with a little something called reality lmao. This has to be a joke it hassss to be lol. Or im suprised that the guy who wrote this even knows how to spell.

EQ2 Qeynos Guild- http://www.imperium-arcanum.com

rathma

 It's an elderly woman who doesn't know a thing about hacking.

jimothypetro

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6. Does your son use Quake?

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

lock away your firearms? I thought we were talking about hacking, not going a killing-spree

And they carry around glow-sticks and wear pacifiers around their neck.. lmao...

And I think the author of this must have been joking.. right? :P

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"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
-- Ken Olson, chairman of Digital Equipment Corp, 1977

lyonman24

so all ravers are hacker? hmmm wow is she stupid most ravers i know are dumb as bricks. no offence to smart ones but those are just ones i know. and quake hmmm even though i dont play it i know friends who do and are not hackers lolparents need to worry more about other things reason i say this is that every famous hacker all of a sudden became realy big in say companys like norton and mcaffee. so shes worried more about now than down the line when the job at norton is paying the kid a 6 figure income and hes paying all hermed bills when shes old lol

jimothypetro

And di you see that poll on the side there?

58% said they are afraid of hackers because "They smell bad".

Lol and in another poll 25% of people think "masturbation" is the most dangerous aspect of colleges.

This site is pretty funny. ^^

http://adequacy.org/public/stories/2002.1.22.211910.397.html

This one is good.. this person proposes to "turn off" the internet from 10pm-7am every night.

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"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
-- Ken Olson, chairman of Digital Equipment Corp, 1977

rathma

 LOL

Disrupt

one day, while at the mall, you and your mom were shopping for enema kits and vaseline, when suddenly a horrendous stench came from you. a sloppy brown, wet mess soon erupted and was plainly visible in the seat of your pants. you tried not to cringe as the warm, mushy mess oozed down your leg and stuck at the back of your knees. your mom, who was browsing the vaginal care kits immediately smelled your stench and asked you what you had just done. embarassed and shameful, you did not look her in the eye when you told her that you had done nothing. because you had indeed done something. you shit your pants, and it was horrible, because you were 17 and you knew better. then your mother looked at you with the most despicable look in her eye, a cold stare of hatred, and unexpectedly began to pat the seat of your pants with her hand, screaming, "ooh, give me some of that, i want it, where is it? where is your poop? your big smelly poop? i want to feel it squish between my fingers! can i have it", as she violently spanked and grabbed at your rear end. your face reddened to hues reminiscent of stop lights and tomatoes as passersby stopped and stared at you in your misery. your mother, feigning pride, shouted, "this is my child! my very talented child just shit its pants, can you believe it! I am so proud of it! the smell, the delicious smell! i am this child's mother!"

classic....

Processor: AMD Athlon Xp 2500
Mobile "Barton"
Mobo: Abit NF-7
RAM:1 GB Corsair PC3200
Video: ATI Radeon 9800 Pro 128mb 256 bit
Hard Drive: 80 GB 7200 rpm Seagate "Barracuda"
CD/RW: Lite-On 48x read/48x write/24x rewrite/8x dvd read
Sound:7.1 Channel Sound Blaster (not audigy)
Processor HS and Fan: Thermaltake Volcano 12+
PSU: Antec 420 Watt
Case: Powmax Demon ATX Style

Flipmode

I think its just a joke. and you're 3 years behind.

fire ze missilez!1111

Annekynn

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you rathma, that totally made my day!

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Played: Asheron's Call 1, Dark Age of Camelot, Earth & Beyond, Star Wars Galaxies
Tested: Asheron's Call 1, Asheron's Call 2, Dark Age of Camelot, Eve Online, Lineage 2, Risk Your Life
Uninstalled ASAP: MU Online, Knight Online, Rubies of Eventide, Priston Tales, Star Sonata, DarkSpace

Xzaro

I do hope that person who wrote that is joking.

_______________________________________________

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You could play as an indian or human

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Desalus

The whole thing is meant to be a joke. I remember reading somwhere that it is indeed a joke.

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Killer 86%, Achiever 46%, Socializer 33%, Explorer 33%

Clever_Glove

Use your mellon. It's very clear what it is, and a darn good one at that. But it's not new, that's been kicked around the internet for sometime.

-=-=-=-=-
"We're a game that's focused on grouping and on solo play, you know, more group oriented, more solo play..."
John Blakely Senior lead for EQ2. Link

Bartle: A: 93% E: 55% S:3% K: 50% The Test. Learn what it means here.

dizirgee

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?

The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.  ROFL dont wanna be son of than guy

Also part about AMD and Linux as an illegal hacker operation system is very funny too.

I`m affraid about mentaly health of that guy  he must smoke crack for at least 50 years to be able to say bullshits like that

very well rathma now i`m taking break to catch my breath

Wu name dizirgee->Tough Destroyer
lordken->Friendly Mastermind

grimweeper

wow that guy is messed up his brain is probably as messed up as ozzy osbornes ha and all those wanna be hackers can take that (if it works) and become hackers

Coldmeat

The only thing more disturbing than the fact that there are probably parents out there that would see this and think it was for real, is that there appears to be more than a few people here that think so too. People I thought to be pretty savvy, and otherwise intelligent enough to recognize this for what it is.

A little bit of my faith in humankind died today...

Finwe

Ya. No kiddin Cold.

Obviously the absurdity of the way it was written, and to the extreme it was, they weren't actually being serious.

Baggy clothes? Glow-sticks? Spikey hair? Colored hair? Quake? Whahahha...

I wear baggy pants so I'm going to h4xx0rz yourz c0//p|_|-|-3r5

"The greatest trick the devil played on humanity in the 20th century was convincing them that he didn't exist." (Paraphrasing) C.S. Lewis

Zepee

[quote]Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".[/quote]

Can u hack with Flash? OMG didnt knew that, BIG news, I bet my FATHER is a hacker as he works alot with Flash!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[quote]They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory[/quote]

Oh, so I mean, the games stay always the same, with same specs, so if ur son need better components he wants to hack not to play WoW or EQ2. TOTALLY AGREE!

[quote]If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.[/quote]

what can I say, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[quote]If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites[/quote]

either that or hes a computer freak, has no social life and is beeing corrupted by the online comunities!!!!

[quote]Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.[/quote]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, now I see what make Quake such a popular game, its such a big hacker comunity that they had to do Quake2,3 and Arena. WOW, why havent tought about it...

 

I bet this is just a hacker trying to make more victims so he doesnt get caught 

 

 5 stars read

Dekron

"Does your son use Quake"

LMFAO!  That is just too funny, everyone here in the IT department got a big laugh outta this, guess we are all hackers since we play quake on LAN, uhhh, wiat a minute, could she be right?  OMG LOL, all of use programmers and network analysts, omg we are, she is right, I should go turn all of us in!  NOOOOOOOOO!  What will my family think!

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33.333333333333336% of me is a huge nerd! How about you?

Killer 100%
Achiever 53%
Explorer 33%
Socializer 13%

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Finwe

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Originally posted by Zepee

[quote]Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".[/quote]

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Hrm...You can't hack with Bonzi Buddy, because bonzi buddy hacks you!

 

"The greatest trick the devil played on humanity in the 20th century was convincing them that he didn't exist." (Paraphrasing) C.S. Lewis

LordDaemon

I'm sorry to inform you all but I....... am a hacker. I know I know all the signs are there I play quake and when quake 3 came out i needed more memory AND a faster video card. Does anyone know of some sort of therapy so I will no longer have the urge to use other ISP's other than AOL????

PFFFFFFT you have got to be kidding me that was the stupidiest piece of crap i've ever read... PFFFT