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How hard is it to make friends?

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  • AristeaAristea Member Posts: 181

    Originally posted by GreenHell


    I have never really been interested in making friends in a MMO. Usually when I join a game I join it with RL friends. Most guilds are nothing more than a bunch of people that get together out of necessity that would never bother with each other in the real world. Im ok with that. We all use each other for whatever piece of loot we are looking for. I never pretend for a second that these people are my friends. The mutual using system works for me.
     

    Your kind is practically why so many guilds are only shells. It's all about me me me me and oh dear if something doesn't go the way you want. I feel pity for people that see others as disposables, no matter the distance between.

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  • GreenHellGreenHell Member UncommonPosts: 1,323

    Originally posted by Aristea


     
    Originally posted by GreenHell


    I have never really been interested in making friends in a MMO. Usually when I join a game I join it with RL friends. Most guilds are nothing more than a bunch of people that get together out of necessity that would never bother with each other in the real world. Im ok with that. We all use each other for whatever piece of loot we are looking for. I never pretend for a second that these people are my friends. The mutual using system works for me.
     

     

    Your kind is practically why so many guilds are only shells. It's all about me me me me and oh dear if something doesn't go the way you want. I feel pity for people that see others as disposables, no matter the distance between.

    I dont know where you get the part where its all about me. It is a mutual system of using people. They use me I use them everyone is happy. I dont leave a group even a pug when things go badly I stay and endure it. I knew when I joined the group what could happen. I am just not foolish to think these people are my friends. It just is what it is.

     

  • PyndaPynda Member UncommonPosts: 856


    Originally posted by GreenHell
    I never pretend for a second that these people are my friends. The mutual using system works for me.


    I saw this idea arising a while ago in this thread, but just decided to keep my mouth shut. However now it's going too far. I've made lifelong friends in (particularly one) guild I've been in, seen a real life marriage come out of it, and been invited to summer holiday vacations with my guild mates. Unfortunately these always took place in Sweden which was - as a yank - too far for me to go. But otherwise I certainly would have.

    Just because you can't seem to make real friends online and are a blatantly self professed 'user', please try to use your imagination for one second and realize that not everyone else is as suspicious and cold as you appear to be.

  • CharlyTrippoCharlyTrippo Member Posts: 16

    Heck, I never did have many good experiences with people. -.- online or offline.

    Can`t really say what place is better.

    I usually solo on the games.

    I hate communities, mostly because of the humans involved. and only had a proper guild proposal in a handfull of games.

    It`s just annoying when you walk around in a game, and some idiot spams "join guild" or "join party" on your screen. without even saying a word. no, just blindly begging around. probably totally oblivious of the fact the puppets out there are steered by other people. 

    So far, I`ve only accepted people in a team or guild, if they can actually type and have a normal conversation, and that has been extremely saddening few people.

    if they actually do have the ability to spell, they can either only spell 1337 $P34K or profound language. -.-

    so nowadays, I`m simply playing solo. I`ll just spare the trouble of trying to roleplay if lvl is the most important thing and n00b is the most used word in conversations. and heck, I`ll just enjoy the game enviroment.

  • GreenHellGreenHell Member UncommonPosts: 1,323

     

     

    Originally posted by Pynda


     

    Originally posted by GreenHell

    I never pretend for a second that these people are my friends. The mutual using system works for me.

     



    I saw this idea arising a while ago in this thread, but just decided to keep my mouth shut. However now it's going too far. I've made lifelong friends in (particularly one) guild I've been in, seen a real life marriage come out of it, and been invited to summer holiday vacations with my guild mates. Unfortunately these always took place in Sweden which was - as a yank - too far for me to go. But otherwise I certainly would have.

    Just because you can't seem to make real friends online and are a blatantly self professed 'user', please try to use your imagination for one second and realize that not everyone else is as suspicious and cold as you appear to be.

    You see the confusion here is that you think that everyone should want to have the experiences that you have had. I certainly do not. I dont use MMORPG's as a platform for finding friends or a wife. I dont want or need to use a game for anything but what it is.. a game. I have enough fiends in the real world. I have a wife too. I dont want to play E-Harmony online.  

    Im not bashing people that want to find these things in a game. If that is what you want or need to do more power to you. For me thats just not what it is. I dont see this as being cold or suspicious. I see it as keeping things in perspective.

    The drama that can come from your way of seeing things is much more than what I want to deal with. The little friendships and relationships that can develop usually cause more problems than good. Im sure just about everyone on this forum can tell some horror story of drama they have experienced in a guild or group. God knows I can. I dont play a game to indulge in reality. I play them to escape it. I dont bring all of my problems in to the game and I dont want to deal with yours or anyone elses. I dont play to be your therapist.

    Maybe my view of the situation does not  reflect how the majority of players sees things. Thats ok with me. I am never rude to people. I am never an asshole.  I keep quiet and do whatever my class requires me to do and I do it well. I dont complain when things go badly. I never leave a group until we are finished. Once again it is a mutual using system and I always keep my end of that bargain. I just dont want to be your friend.  I dont want to know about your personal life. To me you are no more than that avatar I see on my screen and that is the way I want to keep it.

  • LordSicLordSic Member Posts: 142

    the more conveniant a game is the worse the community is.. let me explain.. use SWG as an example

     In the beginning you HAD TO go to medical centers and cantinas to get healed.. this caused population booms in this area and people socialized to pass the time ( good for community) ...

     another big attributer to Bad community is global market systems... when you used to actually go out shopping for items you would meet people... now everyone sits at a terminal and finds the lowest price anywhere and just goes and buys it... I miss the days when you went to a crafters house because they knew you and you knew them and you knew they would have the armor/weapon you wanted... If they didnt they would make it. This familiarity with crafters and consumers added alot to community.

    and lastly the worst thing ironically for community is global chat channels.. They give people no reason to meet face to face and because of that it is really hard for people to make new friends.. having to ask questions in several areas helped you make friends and added to community but being able to ask a question accross the entire game (although conveniant) hurts community in a game...

         Now i know most people like the items i listed but it's all gleaming symbols of the give me that now and screw everyone else mentality that has made a foothold in the mmo community.  Yes its more dificult to shop around for items then to see all items at one terminal... yes its harder to walk around and talk to people looking for an answer than to simply say something in a global channel.. and yes its more dificult to rely on someone else for some of your needs but guess what.. they all made a better community and its all been thrown to the way side now ... Convenience Kills Community

  • JosherJosher Member Posts: 2,818

    I just feel sorry for people who call people they've never met, friends?  It must be a generational thing.  Theres really nice people I've met in MMOs and have never had trouble finding cool people to play with.  But I never understand those who go out and visit people sight unseen in other cities.  I've never had the urge to meet any of them in real life.  Once I log off, I'm not wondering about these people.  I have REAL friends.   It must be lonely geek thing I don't get and can't relate to.  If thats the best way for some people to make friends, all the power to them.

  • wolfmannwolfmann Member Posts: 1,159

    Originally posted by Josher


    I just feel sorry for people who call people they've never met, friends?  It must be a generational thing.  Theres really nice people I've met in MMOs and have never had trouble finding cool people to play with.  But I never understand those who go out and visit people sight unseen in other cities.  I've never had the urge to meet any of them in real life.  Once I log off, I'm not wondering about these people.  I have REAL friends.   It must be lonely geek thing I don't get and can't relate to.  If thats the best way for some people to make friends, all the power to them.

    And here we go again...

    Someone who can't understand that someone you havent met face to face or grown up with or worked with can be a "real" friend.

    Yet people have done this, earned, gotten, found, etc friends for centuries this way.

    Who's the person who loses out on this... I try not to judge, but I have a feeling that it's not me.

    considering that I ended up serving in Kosovo alongside one of my (now ex) MMORPG friends...

    imageThe last of the Trackers

  • A.BlacklochA.Blackloch Member UncommonPosts: 842

    Back in the days while the original Neverwinter Nights was still hot stuff, I used to spend my time on a few roleplaying servers. The community was really warm and nice, and I got many real life friends from around the world. I just visited one friend in Brazil, Sao Paulo last summer - and I have a very close friend in Norway, who I've also met in RL few times both in Norway and here in Finland. Of course I also met few really cool finnish guys too, whom I've met numerous times on vacations and weekends.  And these are all my real friends.

    But that was back then. You don't get to know people in games so well nowadays, since the playerbase in mmorpgs is huge - and at least 50% of the community being annoying pricks makes it hard to bounce into someone you like spend more time with than necessary.

  • CharlyTrippoCharlyTrippo Member Posts: 16

    Well, it seems quite alot of people think you can`t make friends on MMO games.

    -.- gee, I wonder why it`s so hard to make friends online then...

    If people would start to think a bit more positive, it might actually be alot easier to make friends.

    It`s not impossible to make friends online. Heck, some people got married with someone random from some random game. So it`s not impossible to build relationships there.

    But it`s just highly unlikely, I mean, the longest I`ve been hanging around the same players in MMO`s lately is a record of 3 months.

    Is that too little time to actually start to know someone and at least call it an acquaintance?

    -.- I think not.

    But then again, we just get lost in the internets sometime. And a few months later, I never see them again. probably hanging on another MMO, or life stood in the way. so there`s little chances you`ll stay friends for a long time. unless you`re a chatfreak next to MMO freak and put everyone on y!hell or msn messenger lists.

    The people on the streets, well, you see them every day, even the ones you wouldn`t want to. It`s alot easier to make friends there just because they`re around all the time. at least you`ll get a chance to know who you`re calling a friend. and at least they use the same face and same name every time, so it`s not too hard to forget them either :P

    Plus they don`t act like d***w*ds just because they think they`re anonymous...

    can`t say that about internets, where there`s only a very small chance someone stays on the same place, keeps the same name, and hangs around alot. 

    I`m just  sayin` people could just try to make friends, rather than keep saying it`s impossible.

    If people were a bit nicer to eachother, or hang around in the same community for a long time, there`s bound to be some "friends" around. and usually after a few months you`ll know wether calling them friends was a mistake or not.

  • binary_0011binary_0011 Member Posts: 528

    i'm only interested in making friend with the opposite sex :P

  • DreadnocDreadnoc Member Posts: 1

    It's not at all hard to find good friends online, Ive been playing WoW for 2 years now and never did I have problems what so ever.

    I really think it is how you behave online, mature PPL will attract mature PPL, heck I even have 12-13 year olds as good friends :)

    Speaking for myself... Ihave always respected ppl around me in RL, I just do the same ingame and never had problems.

    Dread

     

     

  • maskedweaselmaskedweasel Member LegendaryPosts: 12,173

    Originally posted by Josher


    I just feel sorry for people who call people they've never met, friends?  It must be a generational thing.  Theres really nice people I've met in MMOs and have never had trouble finding cool people to play with.  But I never understand those who go out and visit people sight unseen in other cities.  I've never had the urge to meet any of them in real life.  Once I log off, I'm not wondering about these people.  I have REAL friends.   It must be lonely geek thing I don't get and can't relate to.  If thats the best way for some people to make friends, all the power to them.
    I don't really see a big difference between meeting friends online and meeting friends in person.  I think there are many different stages of friendship.

    I agree that maybe meeting an online friend sight unseen in person, perhaps by flying many miles away, isn't necessarily the wisest thing to do. But then again, people have been doing things like this ever since the first internet chat system started.

    However, you can be friends with someone and never see them at all. MMO friends, Chat buddies, Myspace friends, or even Pen Pals, it happens. 

    Just because you have friends that  you talk to solely online, over the phone, or through letters doesn't classify you as a "lonely geek" and not necessarily just "lonely" in general. 

    Perhaps some people are more accustomed nowadays talking to someone, getting to know them by speaking with them over time, and enjoying their conversations and the fun they have playing games rather then spending their time in Bars, meeting "friends" that would just as sure hit you once their smashed then drive you home when you're unable to walk.

    Another interesting thing, somewhat unrelated, I have a bunch of friends that I've known in my neighborhood pretty much my whole life. We used to get together and play FPS's and sports games and stuff but nowadays the big thing are these MMORPGs.  We've actually hung out for awhile and then decided to play a game, so we would all go home to log on.  It's kinda strange how that is, in order to play together you all have to leave, but thats the way it goes. 



  • tu_uilwentu_uilwen Member Posts: 794

    Personally I do not care what people say, I have had alot of good friends and have met some good people with my time in WoW. I have been playing since beta and I've loved every minute of it.

    ---------------------------------------------
    WoW
    -Rhalon 85 B.E. rogue
    -Rhalon 81 UD Mage
    -Doneski 85 Orc death knight

    "Everyones life has a beginning and an end, No one can change that."-Hiko
    "If you wish to taste the ground, then feel free to attack."-Kenshin Himura
    ---------------------------------------------
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  • PicklefootPicklefoot Member Posts: 218

    Originally posted by binary_0011


    i'm only interested in making friend with the opposite sex :P
     

     

       Chicks are fine for friends, but I usually expect more, heh... my girlfriend has a problem with me having girls as friends, because heh.. we started that way, and it didn't last long.

     

     

      I've made friends in MMO's, sure. The majority of them I don't talk to outside of the game.. there are a few that I have via MSN/xfire, and one in my town. So no it isn't hard to make friends- in real life, or MMO.

     

      I guess the first step to making yourself more presentable/friendly is to read a book on social skills/etiquette. It may seem cheesy, or eccentric- having to do research.. but it will improve your lifestyle, and how people view it. Sort've like being a gym monkey.. only people don't look at you and see a giant "douchebag" stamp on your washboard abs.

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  • maskedweaselmaskedweasel Member LegendaryPosts: 12,173

    Originally posted by Picklefoot


    Sort've like being a gym monkey.. only people don't look at you and see a giant "douchebag" stamp on your washboard abs.

    Speak for yourself!

     

    ....I knew I shouldn'tve gotten that tattoo.



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