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1. Roll Horde. The community seems more mature and interesting on average, but the usual drawback is that there are fewer players.2. Join a newer RP/RP-PVP server. I play on The Venture Co and Scarlet Crusade (US), but have also heard good things about Twisting Nether, Thorium Brotherhood, and Sentinels.3. Do your research on a realm before you commit to it - browse their forums and see which guilds would fit you best, who to avoid, etc.
This will save you time and energy in the long run.