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[General Article] General: Coping After War with MMOs

SBFordSBFord Associate Editor - News ManagerThe Land of AZPosts: 16,633MMORPG.COM Staff Uncommon

One of the reasons people love MMOs is for the simple fact that they are an escape from the harshness of "real" life. In a terrific guest post, Kimberly Cummins outlines some of the reasons why MMOs have been a great help. Known as "Nifa" here on our forums, see what Kimberly has to say before leaving your thoughts in the comments.

Because I cannot drive, I spend much of my time at home by myself, which is one more reason that games, especially MMOs, can be such a lifeline to veterans like me who may not be able to get out and about the way the average person can. I have a great roommate (also a gamer) and good friends, so I'm not a shut in, but my roommate works in the healthcare profession and so a twelve hour shift becoming a fourteen hour shift is not at all unusual for her. With my ample spare time, I hone my skills as a healer/DPS in my game of choice. Due partly to my previously mentioned difficulties with the VA and VA errors that have affected my financial stability (but mostly to the fact that the game is fun and interesting), I'm currently very fond of Funcom's latest F2P offering, The Secret World, but I've probably played just about every game that's come out since about 2003... and many of my dearest friends are people I met through gaming (including my two closest friends, who live nearby in my city).

Read more of Kimberly Cummin's Guest Post - Coping After War with MMOs.

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Associate Editor: MMORPG.com
Follow me on Twitter: @MMORPGMom

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Comments

  • Jerek_Jerek_ tulsa, OKPosts: 409Member
    great article!  Many of my friends that I game with are air force and are currently deployed to Afganistan.  They have also spent time there as contractors and MMOs ( and skype) are a great way to keep in touch.  I wasn't in the military myself but I have spent the last year unable to walk without great difficultly due to an injury so I can also appreciate MMO's ability to let people socialize when it would be impossible otherwise.  Nice to see another from Okc who shares our hobby, sometimes it seems like the rest of the state is busy trying to deflect the nations anger about guns and violence onto gamers.
  • hfamgamerhfamgamer Klamath Falls, ORPosts: 57Member
    I know one of the worst things for me during my last deployment was having a very poor internet connection (I litteraly wanted dial up because the wi-fi sucked that bad). It made it very hard to talk with the wife and kids back home much less log onto my guilds game of the month and chat with friends. Needless to say durring my terminal leave I got very little done on the "honey do" list because I was catching up with online friends (I'm still on the couch for that one). But I agree that games are a great stress reliever for anyone with a hectic life style. And thank you for your service.
  • maplestonemaplestone Ottawa, ONPosts: 3,099Member
    As someone who more-or-less fits the traditional stereotype, I feel like I'm being thrown under the bus.
  • cybertruckercybertrucker Pensacola, FLPosts: 1,119Member

    I perssonally know someone who ended up sleeping with 2 of his guildmates when their husbands were deployed. So lonely wives logging in and getting attention is not always a good thing.. Do i think its slimy? Yes! Does it happen.. You bet it does. More than you realize.

    I have never been one to cyber. But I have had women whom I have become friends with online start that fatal attraction thing when they are married, The last one this happened was my Guild Leader, in a game I played a few years back. I had a load going thru the town she lived in. She wanted to meet up. I was like ok cool.. And she totally came onto me.. At which point I usually try to back away from them even as friends.

    As for military playing MMOs. I started EQ1 when i was a Scout in the Army.. I play today while i am  out on the road as a truck driver. Great form of stress relief yes.. SOmething military should be doing after deployment. If they dont have family sure. If they do. Hopefully they are doing something with them and building that family back up. Esapism is not really always healthy.

  • JayarisJayaris InvercargillPosts: 308Member

    I thought this was a global website, is there some reason you chose to not use the general term military, and instead listed all the branches you could of the United States?

    Obviously you're from the US, but still -- I found it a little cringeworthy. 

    Hi

  • steelheartxsteelheartx Biloxi, MSPosts: 432Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by Jayaris

    I thought this was a global website, is there some reason you chose to not use the general term military, and instead listed all the branches you could of the United States?

    Obviously you're from the US, but still -- I found it a little cringeworthy. 

    She was speaking from her experiences & research, but you're more than welcome to "add to" if you feel like giving a shout out to your peeps as well.  If this was a writer from Europe or Australlia than i would expect he/she to use military references from their experiences, and would not "cringe" or be offended if they did.

     
     
     

    Looking for a family that you can game with for life? Check out Grievance at https://www.grievancegaming.org !

  • AmarantharAmaranthar OhioPosts: 2,430Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by Jayaris

    I thought this was a global website, is there some reason you chose to not use the general term military, and instead listed all the branches you could of the United States?

    Obviously you're from the US, but still -- I found it a little cringeworthy. 

    You have a point, but "cringeworthy"?

    Up yours, sir. And we have the technology to do it! Heh, just joking. I'm sure she'd be willing to correct her oversight and meant no slight.

    Thank you all who serve and protect our freedom.

    Once upon a time....

  • JayarisJayaris InvercargillPosts: 308Member

    @steelheartx - I think you're confusing the definitions of 'cringe' and 'cringeworthy'. As for speaking from her experience, it's a hard stance to take considering she mentioned other branches she wasn't in. We can't talk about theoritical scenario's where someone from another country makes the same comments, it doesn't matter. I don't care what country people are from, but if you're going to make a global post about gamers around the world why pigeonhole it with explicit listings of your country's civil service? 

    @Amaranthar - I wasn't accusing her of any ill-will. I just think the sentiments could have been worded differently. 

    Hi

  • elvenwolfelvenwolf RomePosts: 139Member

    There are also those, like me, work in shifts, and are cut from most of the "normal" social life.

    I work in private security, and while surely i do not compare my work with one of active military, i had my bad brushes with the less safe side of my occupation.

    When it happened, the ones that were most understanding, apart of my family which is a military one, evryone is in a branch or the other of the armed forces, thus deployed all over the globe, were my online friends, that include often people that serve under a military or another all over the world.

    I work five days shift, and most of the time my "offline" friends don't even understand why i can't get with them on sundays or saturdays, or why i can't be present to this or the other birthday.

    So even when you are not deplyed oversea and you do a different work then the usual 7 am - 4pm office job , you find yourself alienated by other people, and a good guild can make all the difference.

     

     
  • AvarixAvarix Chicago, ILPosts: 382Member Uncommon

    I agree. Gaming can be a great support tool. I think most of those stereotypes that people like to toss out come from a place of insecurity. They never make me angry, just sad. I am proud to be a gamer. Whether I am negotiating with a terrorist in null space, wondering if this sketchy Khajiit selling me skuma is going to double-cross me,  or unraveling the latest hijynx of those crazy Illuminati, I am glad I can be a part of these games and meet like minded individuals. Sometimes I am fighting demons on Phobos or simply chatting with a friend in Kryta, but no matter what I always enjoy it.

     

    Also, thank you for putting your life on the line to defend our rights. I may not always agree with the country's stances on certain issues but I always have, and always will, support the soldiers who give their all so the rest of us don't have to. I only wish we took better care of our vets. You should not have to worry about something like benefits, let alone actively fight for them. I'm truly sorry.

     
     
  • MikeBMikeB MMORPG.com Community Manager Queens, NYPosts: 5,724Administrator Uncommon
    Cleaned up the thread of political commentary. I'd like to keep this thread open for discussion, so let's not have this devolve into political commentary, please!

    Michael "MikeB" Bitton
    Community Manager
    Twitter: @eMikeB

  • grimfallgrimfall Missouri City, TXPosts: 1,155Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by Jayaris

    @steelheartx - I think you're confusing the definitions of 'cringe' and 'cringeworthy'. As for speaking from her experience, it's a hard stance to take considering she mentioned other branches she wasn't in. We can't talk about theoritical scenario's where someone from another country makes the same comments, it doesn't matter. I don't care what country people are from, but if you're going to make a global post about gamers around the world why pigeonhole it with explicit listings of your country's civil service? 

    You're doing the same you're accusing the author of the article of doing.  In America 'cringeworthy" means "When someone does something that is worthy of a cringe."

  • dimasokdimasok toronto, ONPosts: 189Member
    Unless there is gaming, reality is the worst garbage imaginable. Games at least make it somewhat bearable.
  • kb4blukb4blu Fuquay Varina, NCPosts: 683Member Uncommon

    As a fellow veteran (US Army 1966 - 1969)   THANK YOU  !!!

    Hang in there.  Yes the VA is a complete joke as I know frpm personal experience.

     

  • LeetheLeethe Posts: 876Member Uncommon

    Do people wander around the internet looking for things to get upset about?

    I owe a great deal of sanity to gaming by keeping me in touch with freinds who are far away. 

     

    There is NO miracle patch.

    95% of what you see in beta won't change by launch.

    Hope is not a stategy.
    ______________________________
    "This kind of topic is like one of those little cartoon boxes held up by a stick on a string, with a piece of meat under it. In other words, bait."

  • McGamerMcGamer Fairfield Bay, ARPosts: 1,012Member
    The article lost my interest when the author used poor grammar in the title. 
  • RohnRohn Saint Peters, MOPosts: 3,740Member Uncommon

    Information technology has helped expand the global community.  Friends need not be just the people we meet and talk to face to face anymore.

    For those with special circumstances or limited mobility, of the kind the author describes, the ability to expand one's network of friends beyond one's local community can be a godsend.  I'm glad it is available to them, and to us all.

    Hell hath no fury like an MMORPG player scorned.

  • NifaNifa Oklahoma City, OKPosts: 324Member
    Originally posted by Jayaris

    I thought this was a global website, is there some reason you chose to not use the general term military, and instead listed all the branches you could of the United States?

    Obviously you're from the US, but still -- I found it a little cringeworthy. 

    "Cringeworthy" is a bit strong, don't you think? If I were from the U.K. or France or Germany or Canada (I've served alongside members of those nations' militaries and others--all were good experiences, particularly my times working with the Australians), I'd happily have included them.

    But as I've personally only served in the United States Army, and my family and friends are all current and former members of the United States military, I'd be doing a real disservice to members of other countries, bordering on insulting them, if I were to attempt to write about their militaries and experiences since I have no experience with serving in those services myself and am completely ignorant as to what they go through other than the basic things all service members go through. It's not meant as a slight towards any other nation's military men and women--all of whom I respect as equals--in the slightest.

    I'm sorry you found it offensive that I stuck with my own experiences, but I'd rather offend by omission rather than offend by being deliberately insulting through blatant ignorance.

    Firebrand Art

    "You are obviously confusing a mature rating with actual maturity." -Asherman

    Maybe MMO is not your genre, go play Modern Warfare...or something you can be all twitchy...and rank up all night. This is seriously getting tired. -Ranyr

  • SlampigSlampig Chantilly, VAPosts: 2,376Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by Jayaris

    @steelheartx - I think you're confusing the definitions of 'cringe' and 'cringeworthy'. As for speaking from her experience, it's a hard stance to take considering she mentioned other branches she wasn't in. We can't talk about theoritical scenario's where someone from another country makes the same comments, it doesn't matter. I don't care what country people are from, but if you're going to make a global post about gamers around the world why pigeonhole it with explicit listings of your country's civil service? 

    @Amaranthar - I wasn't accusing her of any ill-will. I just think the sentiments could have been worded differently. 

    Leave it to the readers on this site to complain about weak BS like this... Hey, I am going to write an article based on MY experiences but let me check with you all so I can make sure you all don't cringe. Anything you want me to add? I mean, I don't want to offend anyone you know, since I am writing this based on MY experiences...

     

    image

    That Guild Wars 2 login screen knocked up my wife. Must be the second coming!

  • NifaNifa Oklahoma City, OKPosts: 324Member
    Originally posted by Czanrei
    The article lost my interest when the author used poor grammar in the title. 
     

    The author didn't write the title. ;)

    Firebrand Art

    "You are obviously confusing a mature rating with actual maturity." -Asherman

    Maybe MMO is not your genre, go play Modern Warfare...or something you can be all twitchy...and rank up all night. This is seriously getting tired. -Ranyr

  • waynejr2waynejr2 West Toluca Lake, CAPosts: 4,479Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by cybertrucker

    I perssonally know someone who ended up sleeping with 2 of his guildmates when their husbands were deployed. So lonely wives logging in and getting attention is not always a good thing.. Do i think its slimy? Yes! Does it happen.. You bet it does. More than you realize.

    I have never been one to cyber. But I have had women whom I have become friends with online start that fatal attraction thing when they are married, The last one this happened was my Guild Leader, in a game I played a few years back. I had a load going thru the town she lived in. She wanted to meet up. I was like ok cool.. And she totally came onto me.. At which point I usually try to back away from them even as friends.

    As for military playing MMOs. I started EQ1 when i was a Scout in the Army.. I play today while i am  out on the road as a truck driver. Great form of stress relief yes.. SOmething military should be doing after deployment. If they dont have family sure. If they do. Hopefully they are doing something with them and building that family back up. Esapism is not really always healthy.

     When I was in the navy stationed in Norfolk, the fleet would pull out then the wive would pull into the clubs.   easy sex.

  • TealaTeala SomewherePosts: 7,430Member Uncommon
    Great article!  My room mate suffers from PTSD and injuries from her time in the military.    So I can completely understand where you are coming from on this.   Thank you for writing it and shedding some light on this.   :)

    image
  • NifaNifa Oklahoma City, OKPosts: 324Member
    Originally posted by maplestone
    As someone who more-or-less fits the traditional stereotype, I feel like I'm being thrown under the bus.
     

    Not at all! Wait, you don't have a monitor tan, do you? ;p

    It takes people of all kinds, from every walk of life, to make a great gaming community. My guild has some people who live with their folks because of the economy, others who are military/veterans, some who have spouses & kids, a couple of LGBT players, and still others who are in college. Heck, we've even got a few preachers! Part of the point of the beginning of the article was to say that the stereotypes, while they may hold true for some, aren't necessarily valid across the board (but I've always been a geek and a nerd and I'm totally okay with that--proud, even).

    Game worlds are like real worlds: they take all kinds to work well.

    Firebrand Art

    "You are obviously confusing a mature rating with actual maturity." -Asherman

    Maybe MMO is not your genre, go play Modern Warfare...or something you can be all twitchy...and rank up all night. This is seriously getting tired. -Ranyr

This discussion has been closed.