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Moms with young children in MMO are ticking time bombs.

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  • HrimnirHrimnir Qeynos, COPosts: 1,597Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by Bladestrom
    Originally posted by Hrimnir
    Originally posted by nariusseldon
    Originally posted by Hrimnir

    So, let me ask this question cochise.  Should a player on a college football team immediately leave the field because he found out his wife called him and told him their kid was sick and wanted daddy?

    If it is serious enough, yes.

    I have pulled out of important meetings before because my son was hurt and needs stitches (not life threatening, but need me nevertheless). Could my wife take care of it? Probably. But why shouldn't i be there?

    If anyone dared to question me on this point (and no one did), they could find someone else to do my job.

     

    Had you bothered to read the rest of my post you would have seen that i said barring a life and death situation.

    There is a difference between "hey guys i need to drop everything right now for the next 5 min in the middle of this raid because my kid stubbed his toe on the dresser and is acting like he split his head open" vs "my kid just broke his arm and is in the hospital".

    And trust me, if you left a professional football team because your kid was getting stitches, you wouldnt need to quit that job because they would fire you.

    i agree with the hardcore guild position, but this is exactly the point, if my kid is screaming in pain because they stubbed their toe then yes as a parent i should be giving them attention.  I would be a fairly horrific parent if I continued playing my game and ignoring my child, a pretty disgusting human being actually.

     

      In a professional team you are doing your real life job, thats different.

    And thats all fine and dandy.  The problem arises when you expect 19-24 other people who have limited time in their day to pursue the leisure activity of their choice to throw down what they're doing and wait on YOU.

    You seem to be a rational and reasonable adult/parent, so i doubt you would join a guild that made it clear upfront that there was a set raiding time and an expectation that barring something major (or what you would consider major) that you be there on time and be focused.  The problem arises when you have people who know full well they have a kid who is going to require borderline constant attention and then bull faced lie to a guild leader saying "ya no problem i can do that" when they in fact cant.

    Thats a problem, and it has nothing to do with game vs real life.  It has to do with dignity, decency and principal.

    "The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."

    - Friedrich Nietzsche

  • MardukkMardukk Posts: 1,556Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by Icewhite
    Originally posted by CalmOceans

    You think we're unfair if we deny applicants just on the basis of being a mom with child, companies do this, why can't we?

    You can deny applicants for any silly-buggers reason you want to.

    Sorry OP, you are required to allow everyone into your guild based on the great international guild law of Oslo 1991...

  • BladestromBladestrom edinburghPosts: 4,946Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by Hrimnir
    Originally posted by Bladestrom
    Originally posted by Hrimnir
    Originally posted by nariusseldon
    Originally posted by Hrimnir

    So, let me ask this question cochise.  Should a player on a college football team immediately leave the field because he found out his wife called him and told him their kid was sick and wanted daddy?

    If it is serious enough, yes.

    I have pulled out of important meetings before because my son was hurt and needs stitches (not life threatening, but need me nevertheless). Could my wife take care of it? Probably. But why shouldn't i be there?

    If anyone dared to question me on this point (and no one did), they could find someone else to do my job.

     

    Had you bothered to read the rest of my post you would have seen that i said barring a life and death situation.

    There is a difference between "hey guys i need to drop everything right now for the next 5 min in the middle of this raid because my kid stubbed his toe on the dresser and is acting like he split his head open" vs "my kid just broke his arm and is in the hospital".

    And trust me, if you left a professional football team because your kid was getting stitches, you wouldnt need to quit that job because they would fire you.

    i agree with the hardcore guild position, but this is exactly the point, if my kid is screaming in pain because they stubbed their toe then yes as a parent i should be giving them attention.  I would be a fairly horrific parent if I continued playing my game and ignoring my child, a pretty disgusting human being actually.

     

      In a professional team you are doing your real life job, thats different.

    And thats all fine and dandy.  The problem arises when you expect 19-24 other people who have limited time in their day to pursue the leisure activity of their choice to throw down what they're doing and wait on YOU.

    You seem to be a rational and reasonable adult/parent, so i doubt you would join a guild that made it clear upfront that there was a set raiding time and an expectation that barring something major (or what you would consider major) that you be there on time and be focused.  The problem arises when you have people who know full well they have a kid who is going to require borderline constant attention and then bull faced lie to a guild leader saying "ya no problem i can do that" when they in fact cant.

    Thats a problem, and it has nothing to do with game vs real life.  It has to do with dignity, decency and principal.

    ah you misunderstand me, i was that player in the past, and quiete simply I should accept I cant be in a hardcore raiding guild so i dont let  people down (or join as a casual/backup)

    rpg/mmorg history: Dun Darach>Bloodwych>Bards Tale 1-3>Eye of the beholder > Might and Magic 2,3,5 > FFVII> Baldur's Gate 1, 2 > Planescape Torment >Morrowind > WOW > oblivion > LOTR > Guild Wars (1900hrs elementalist) Vanguard. > GW2(1000 elementalist), Wildstar

    Now playing GW2, AOW 3, ESO, LOTR, Elite D

  • nariusseldonnariusseldon santa clara, CAPosts: 22,441Member
    Originally posted by Rayshe
    Originally posted by nariusseldon
    Originally posted by VengeSunsoar
    Originally posted by nariusseldon
    Originally posted by Kezzadrix
     

    How are you comparing professional football to a VIDEO GAME!?   If video games are that serious to you.. I feel bad for you.

    Right on. Video game is actually pretty low on my priority list. If my wife says "dinner", i drop the group and go.

     *looks at the dinner* Cooked spinach, squash, liver.  *looks at the game and quietly closes the door so the smells can't get in*

    LOL .. but i am sure your wife's voice will can get in. And how about if it is ribeye steak night? (Don't tell my wife i am doing it for the food, and not for her .. heheheheh).

     

    "I'm not feeling that great" = More alone time on the computer... If you can pull it off

    "I'm Trying to lose weight" = Clear bullshit never use

    "Oh sorry i already ate" = Billboard of "you want me to eat THAT"

     

    LOL .. it is not about whether you can make an excuse, it is about how much you treasure your wife. And for me, even when i want to play a little more, why upset her? It is not worth it.

  • TorvalTorval Oregon CountryPosts: 7,215Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by Bladestrom
    Originally posted by Torvaldr
    Originally posted by Sovrath
    Originally posted by dimnikar

    I haven't read through this entire thread, but just wanted to say how unhealthy is to be in a guild that actually deals with these sorts of questions.

    While it's true -  that mom should find a more casual guild - no question, but you all need to take it less seriously as well.

    If anything, your relationship qirh your guild mate (the mom) should come before the raid schedule.

    I think you aren't thinking of this in the right context.

    this doesn't seem to be a social family guild where people say "it's ok, we'll get 'er next time..."

    It seems like it's a competitive guild.

    I've seen competitive amateur sports teams as well as casual friendly teams. Each one has a differebnt set of goals in mind.

    I think the responsibility should be up to the person joining. I don't join competitive guilds because I don't want to commit the time and would rather be in a laid back guild where people are just having fun. I can easily see why people join competitive guilds, just like they join competitive sports teams or do anything that has a lot of competition.

    I see nothing wrong with people being dedicated competitive players even though it's not my thing.

    I totally think the guild should build itself the way it wants.  However, what was the OPs "hardcore" guild doing recruiting non-hardcore players in the first place?

    It sounds like they either billed themselves as something they're not or decided to change focus after establishing themselves.  The responsiblity is shared.  It's the guilds job to filter and vette recruits.  It's a players respnsibility to know what guild they're getting into and be honest.  Any hardcore guild is going to have a site page with an application, interviews, and test runs.  If this guild isn't doing that then they're a bunch of rookies that don't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

    I'm just saying think about the situation they're in for a bit and that they bill themselves as hardcore.  How the hell do they get into the situation.  I think they certainly shoulder a lot of the blame for being so stupid and letting the problem arise in the first place.  On top of that the title and premise is childish and immature.  As previously pointed out, the gender is irrelevant.

    I'm going to go with the poster way above that credits this as a really expert troll thread.

    Oh cmon we all know the deal here, a guild advertised as being hardcore, which means x number of nights focused raiding.  The Dad/Mom fills in the application and agrees to the ethe stipulations and that they can commit 100% to the raids, then through family commitments they cant.  Its the player's fault for going for a hardcore guild when they have other commitments.

    We all know that?  How is it that we know that?  If you make the claim then back it up.  But you're just making stuff up to support your point.  Don't do that.

    Have you ever even been a member of a hardcore guild, either pvp or raiding?  The situation you describe is how rookies and kids that want to bill themselves as hardcore do things.  I don't have a lot of compassion for rookies that pose as hardcore.

    A hardcore guild that is professional will interview and vette their applicants.  It's not just dads and moms that want into successful hardcore guilds, it's everyone that wants to succeed and be top at raiding.  That is why you test them before you accept them.  If someone doesn't live by the rules of the guild they're booted or not allowed to raid with the guild no questions asked.

    This is why we can be pretty sure that the OP guild is just a wannabe guild, because if they were really pro hardcore this wouldn't even be a question and he wouldn't have had to ask this question.

  • RaysheRayshe London, ONPosts: 1,284Member

    Sorry my boyfriend who i love to death cant cook but he tries really hard. At the 3 year point in the relationship, we have come to the conclusion of. If i dont think i can digest it i wont eat it.

     

    Its a good understanding.

    Because i can.
    I'm Hopeful For Every Game, Until the Fan Boys Attack My Games. Then the Knives Come Out.
    Logic every gamers worst enemy.

  • BladestromBladestrom edinburghPosts: 4,946Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by Torvaldr
    Originally posted by Bladestrom
    Originally posted by Torvaldr
    Originally posted by Sovrath
    Originally posted by dimnikar

    I haven't read through this entire thread, but just wanted to say how unhealthy is to be in a guild that actually deals with these sorts of questions.

    While it's true -  that mom should find a more casual guild - no question, but you all need to take it less seriously as well.

    If anything, your relationship qirh your guild mate (the mom) should come before the raid schedule.

    I think you aren't thinking of this in the right context.

    this doesn't seem to be a social family guild where people say "it's ok, we'll get 'er next time..."

    It seems like it's a competitive guild.

    I've seen competitive amateur sports teams as well as casual friendly teams. Each one has a differebnt set of goals in mind.

    I think the responsibility should be up to the person joining. I don't join competitive guilds because I don't want to commit the time and would rather be in a laid back guild where people are just having fun. I can easily see why people join competitive guilds, just like they join competitive sports teams or do anything that has a lot of competition.

    I see nothing wrong with people being dedicated competitive players even though it's not my thing.

    I totally think the guild should build itself the way it wants.  However, what was the OPs "hardcore" guild doing recruiting non-hardcore players in the first place?

    It sounds like they either billed themselves as something they're not or decided to change focus after establishing themselves.  The responsiblity is shared.  It's the guilds job to filter and vette recruits.  It's a players respnsibility to know what guild they're getting into and be honest.  Any hardcore guild is going to have a site page with an application, interviews, and test runs.  If this guild isn't doing that then they're a bunch of rookies that don't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

    I'm just saying think about the situation they're in for a bit and that they bill themselves as hardcore.  How the hell do they get into the situation.  I think they certainly shoulder a lot of the blame for being so stupid and letting the problem arise in the first place.  On top of that the title and premise is childish and immature.  As previously pointed out, the gender is irrelevant.

    I'm going to go with the poster way above that credits this as a really expert troll thread.

    Oh cmon we all know the deal here, a guild advertised as being hardcore, which means x number of nights focused raiding.  The Dad/Mom fills in the application and agrees to the ethe stipulations and that they can commit 100% to the raids, then through family commitments they cant.  Its the player's fault for going for a hardcore guild when they have other commitments.

    We all know that?  How is it that we know that?  If you make the claim then back it up.  But you're just making stuff up to support your point.  Don't do that.

    Have you ever even been a member of a hardcore guild, either pvp or raiding?  The situation you describe is how rookies and kids that want to bill themselves as hardcore do things.  I don't have a lot of compassion for rookies that pose as hardcore.

    A hardcore guild that is professional will interview and vette their applicants.  It's not just dads and moms that want into successful hardcore guilds, it's everyone that wants to succeed and be top at raiding.  That is why you test them before you accept them.  If someone doesn't live by the rules of the guild they're booted or not allowed to raid with the guild no questions asked.

    This is why we can be pretty sure that the OP guild is just a wannabe guild, because if they were really pro hardcore this wouldn't even be a question and he wouldn't have had to ask this question.

    yep i spent several years in world top 50 raiding guilds.  Its easy to check look at hte application forms for the guilds.

    rpg/mmorg history: Dun Darach>Bloodwych>Bards Tale 1-3>Eye of the beholder > Might and Magic 2,3,5 > FFVII> Baldur's Gate 1, 2 > Planescape Torment >Morrowind > WOW > oblivion > LOTR > Guild Wars (1900hrs elementalist) Vanguard. > GW2(1000 elementalist), Wildstar

    Now playing GW2, AOW 3, ESO, LOTR, Elite D

  • AmanaAmana New York, NYPosts: 2,552Moderator Uncommon
    This thread is basically "Let's pile hate on (insert group here)" and that's not really okay in terms of having a discussion. You can have a discussion about parents and raid times in a more civil way.

    To give feedback on moderation, contact community@mmorpg.com

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