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I am a loner gamer and have a hard time finding/connecting with guilds

stygianapothstygianapoth Oakwood, GAPosts: 183Member

I've always been a loner in games. I don't know if it's me or if I just don't have friends who play games. But so many games these days require the use of community (clans, guilds, etc) and it's hard for me to enjoy any type of MMO cause I am always that person who wants to rely on myself rather than a group.

Is anyone else here in the same boat as me? It's a little depressing because I love games but just cannot ever seem to make friends. I feel like I am a normal guy you know, I live with my girlfriend and have a few friends but the online aspect is something I can't seem to grip.

I guess I'll follow up with some questions:

1) do you have friends that play with you?

2) how do you make friends online?

3) do you have to reach out to people or just develop relationships over time?

Comments

  • phantomghostphantomghost Atlanta, GAPosts: 692Member Uncommon

    Play games that arent WoW, AoC, Rift, SWTOR.

     

    Play games that grouping is more required so you actually meet new people... eventually you will run into people you enjoyed doing stuff with and group again... possibly join guilds etc.

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  • JuicemanJuiceman Prescott, AZPosts: 167Member
    I've always been introverted at heart, I learned to reach out to people out of necessity and because i knew I had something to share.  Well, in games ,the groundwork is all laid out for you, I think it's as simple as saying "Hi".  Be prepeared to have people ignore you, or reject you after talkin for a minute, it might happen.  Kinda like finding a girl, gettin cut down can happen but eventually you mix n mingle with the people n u find one.  Really, it's a game, everyone is there to have fun.  Some people avoid contact or are shy but really they want to play with others somewhere in there mind.  maybe not, but almost all people i think.  So just say hello, see what happens, tell em what quest your on or what your farming or whatever. 
  • JenosydeJenosyde belzoni, MSPosts: 100Member Uncommon
    What game are you currently playing?
  • stygianapothstygianapoth Oakwood, GAPosts: 183Member
    Originally posted by Jenosyde
    What game are you currently playing?

     

    Well most games I am put off by the community's immature attitude, that's why I posted here cause this site seems to have a mature group. But I've played all types of games.

    I suppose the longest game I have played was WoW but that was years ago. My peak was in the BC era and was in a raiding guild on a small server, but even then I did not personally connect or know anyone, I was just some other person.

    Most recently... Diablo 3.. made some friend contacts but they all quit... and eventually I did also.

    GW2... joined a guild where everyone knew each other already so felt out of place.

    I play a crap load of browser games as well but never connected with anyone.

    I reverted back to World of Tanks, been playing it for over 2 years and joined 2 clans but ultimately did not enjoy the experience.

    I actually really want to play WoW again as a rogue cause I always loved infiltrating cities but I just can't support that game anymore after being hacked twice with no compensation. Kinda put me off to it, not to mention the bot farmers that plague every MMO out there.

    I just wish I had friends that played games lol.

  • phantomghostphantomghost Atlanta, GAPosts: 692Member Uncommon

    I have actually randomly met someone I knew a few years before.  Was in the same guild as them... both of us played the same class... we were working on our epic, started to help each other.

     

    Eventually found out I use to live in same town as he did (was a very small town).  Turns out I knew the person.  Odd how it worked, we actually played MMO together for many years before we got bored with the games coming out.

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  • ReesRacerReesRacer Dallas, TXPosts: 155Member Uncommon

    i suppose the real question you should be asking yourself is: "Why do I play an MMO if i don't really connect with others?"

    there have been many reasons put forth (almost dissertation-length) as to why someone might seek out company without the desire to connect...or inability to do so. sometimes it's as simple as the same kind of person who likes to have the television on while at home alone, even though there is no interaction. maybe playing an MMO can provide companionship without having to actually speak to anyone. i don't know what your case may be. 

    to be perfectly honest, many single-player games provide much greater depth, graphical prowess, and freedom (Skyrim, for example) than many MMO's. most play multi-player games to either interact with others in sharing a common goal, or gain something from competition with another human being you can't get in single-player games. 

    if you want to play MMO's and would rather lurk on the periphery, i suggest you join a large player community, where it is easy to get lost in the masses, but still receive many of the benefits of companionship. i don't know what else to suggest. i can offer my own personal experience, however. 

    there are MMO's i can play where i can involve myself as much or as little as i like. if i desire no interaction, i can play Skyrim (or  as of today XCOM)..if i want minimal interaction, i can play something like World of Tanks against real humans...if i'm feeling social, i can play TSW with my online friends...or GW2...or STO (all perfectly solo-freindly to a point). 

    there are simply too many alternatives for you not to find what niche appeals to you. find it, and then go with the flow. after years of not knowing what it was i was looking for, a year ago i finally found it in a global gaming community (50k members) that allows me to play as i wish...even if i choose not to talk to anyone for as long as i like :)

  • SilokSilok Mascouche, QCPosts: 732Member
    Originally posted by stygianapoth

    I've always been a loner in games. I don't know if it's me or if I just don't have friends who play games. But so many games these days require the use of community (clans, guilds, etc) and it's hard for me to enjoy any type of MMO cause I am always that person who wants to rely on myself rather than a group.

    Is anyone else here in the same boat as me? It's a little depressing because I love games but just cannot ever seem to make friends. I feel like I am a normal guy you know, I live with my girlfriend and have a few friends but the online aspect is something I can't seem to grip.

    I guess I'll follow up with some questions:

    1) do you have friends that play with you?

    2) how do you make friends online?

    3) do you have to reach out to people or just develop relationships over time?

    1. I use to have, now not really, sometimes i got 1 or 2 friends to play game like TL2 or D3.

    2. In today themeparks, simple answer is,  i dont. These games are solo driven and there is not really a point to make friends. In games like FFXI,  i dont have a choice to do so if i want to progress. So to make friend i search on games forums for a guild, and i try it, simple has that. Trying is the key, if that doesnt work, just keep looking.

    3. Both, at first i have to reach them by finding a guild, after that you develop some sort of a gamer friendship by playing with them. Now again you need a games where you need others gamers to do things, because if not you will just be playing alone most of the time and you will feel disconnected with peoples.

    If you really want to try a real mmorpg, where you really play and having fun with others and not just seeing peoples running in your front of your screen with no reason to talk to each others, you need to find a games where peoples are needed. For me this is FFXI, but im sure there is others games like this.

  • DeathengerDeathenger atco, NJPosts: 462Member Uncommon

    I played Counter Strike in a server with a really awesome group of people. We all became really good online friends in the game, in other games and thru chats and such. Over time everybody faded away a little at a time and I even found myself away from gaming for a short period.

    I never made that connection with any other guilds/groups I was involved with after that and currently I play solo and have done so for quite a wile now. So I know exactly how you feel.

  • phantomghostphantomghost Atlanta, GAPosts: 692Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by Deathenger

    I played Counter Strike in a server with a really awesome group of people. We all became really good online friends in the game, in other games and thru chats and such. Over time everybody faded away a little at a time and I even found myself away from gaming for a short period.

    I never made that connection with any other guilds/groups I was involved with after that and currently I play solo and have done so for quite a wile now. So I know exactly how you feel.

    CS was fun.  I actually started playing CS when I played EQ... like 10 people from the guild all started playing together.  I eventually ran my own server since it takes about 3mins to set 1 up... hours to make it what you want it to be lol.

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  • cheachancheachan TampinesPosts: 122Member
    I'm also a loner in-game. I get to experience interacting with others only for transactional or party purposes. Other than that...Nahhh

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  • AmanaAmana New York, NYPosts: 2,534Moderator Uncommon
    This is really, really similar to this thread, created the same day, just earlier: http://www.mmorpg.com/discussion2.cfm/thread/366847/The-Art-of-Finding-a-Guild-or-clan-or-corp-or-other.html

    To give feedback on moderation, contact community@mmorpg.com

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