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How do you deal with gamers with personal problems?

JemcrystalJemcrystal Champaign, ILPosts: 1,558Member Uncommon

Lucidia:  "Hi, Guildmate Death_Luv, my name is Lucidia and I'd like to party with you in Wiley Canyon.  Oh, btw, my two-yr-old and I are about to get evicted because we can't pay rent."  

Death_Luv:  "Ah, errr, how bout them Dodgers?"

 

How do you deal with mmo peeps unloading personal baggage in game?

 

 

*[Made up names but the situation is vague copy from a encounter I had yesterday].


«134

Comments

  • RilmanRilman IpswichPosts: 35Member
    It depends on the situation, how close you are to the person having problems, wether you feel you in a position to help and if you feel helping is warranted or wasted.
  • robgyorgyrobgyorgy wheeling, ILPosts: 105Member

    sounds to me like a random grp request?then telling u her/his problems? i just say ignore :P

    if they are friends.. well then thats ur call

  • ReizlaReizla AlkmaarPosts: 3,301Member Uncommon

    /block

    Have enough personal problems and can't really be bothered by those of an other ...sorry...

    AsRock 990FX Extreme3
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  • SovrathSovrath Boston Area, MAPosts: 18,462Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by Jemcrystal

    Lucidia:  "Hi, Guildmate Death_Luv, my name is Lucidia and I'd like to party with you in Wiley Canyon.  Oh, btw, my two-yr-old and I are about to get evicted because we can't pay rent."  

    Death_Luv:  "Ah, errr, how bout them Dodgers?"

     

    How do you deal with mmo peeps unloading personal baggage in game?

     

     

    *[Made up names but the situation is vague copy from a encounter I had yesterday].

    I don't. I generally don't engage them in conversation. The one time I did, a person who was unemployed, had issues, etc, I ended up giving advice and they just acknowledged it and then kept going on about how they didn't know what to do.

    If I get people who have issues or who are hitting on me I generally finish up the party  as quickly as possible and move on.

    If there is a goal I then end the party after we obtain the goal. if it's just a leveling party I will do a few quests with them and then tell them I have to go.

     

  • lugallugal Escondido, CAPosts: 639Member Uncommon
    I let people know I do not want or care to hear about their lives, unless I choose to ask. I play games to escape reality. If I do ask about things, it is about gaming related subjects, like pnp games, or guild meets ups. Sometimes we will talk shop about work, but those conversations are held with people I have known for many years. Been playing with the same crew since SWG launched.

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    The reviewer has a mishapen head
    Which means his opinion is skewed
    ...Aldous.MF'n.Huxley

  • LawlmonsterLawlmonster Dallas, TXPosts: 954Member Uncommon

    I think everyone deserves help, regardless if you're face to face, on the phone, or using the internet: that's still a real person on the other end. Compassion doesn't make us weak, either. From my own experiences and tribulations, I can affirm that ventrilo and friends I've known for roughly fifteen years were the reason I sought medical and therapeutic aide, though I probably wouldn't have discussed my problems with strangers. People handle loss and conflict in different ways. Maybe the individual private messaging ol' Death_Luv had no one else to speak with, or couldn't fully confide in someone they already knew? Naturally, they should probably seek appropriate help, and the compassionate response would be to offer some form of comfort or advice.

     

    Sure, we've all got problems. No one really wants to spend their free time listening to other people bitch about their issues, but simply being polite, honest, or compassionate toward their situation could make all of the difference, with the added bonus of feeling good about what you've done.

    "This is life! We suffer and slave and expire. That's it!" -Bernard Black (Dylan Moran)

  • SeariasSearias Edmonton, ABPosts: 712Member Uncommon
    Ya like the other posters have said, if this person is a friend of yours she probably feels comfortable with you and just needs someone to talk to.

    <InvalidTag type="text/javascript" src="http://www.gamebreaker.tv/cce/e.js"></script><div class="cce_pane" content-slug="which-world-of-warcraft-villain-are-you" ctype="quiz" d="http://www.gamebreaker.tv"></div>;

  • bunnyhopperbunnyhopper LondonPosts: 2,751Member
    Gank them and loot their stuffz.

    "Come and have a look at what you could have won."

  • evolver1972evolver1972 Port Orchard, WAPosts: 1,118Member

    I'd say offer the best advice you can, once.  Then maybe nicely say that you don't think a game is the proper place for that conversation, and strangers aren't always the best people to ask for advice.

     

    Also, the way the post is written, it sounds more like "woe is me!" and I want attention for it rather than truly asking for advice.  In that case, I'd probably just /block.

    image

    You want me to pay to play a game I already paid for???

    Be afraid.....The dragons are HERE!

  • erictlewiserictlewis Cottondale, ALPosts: 3,026Member Uncommon

    I not seen many instances of this, it is usually somebody seeking attention, and seaking to rid you of cash.  I actually seen officers kick folks out of the guild when they start acting like this.

    Honestly when I see it I offer advice then if they keep going with it I tune them out with the ignore function. 

    Some folks need help, some folks want attentionn, you never know until you talk to them.

     

    Edit in addendum to this if somebody tells me they are fixing to be homeless but still play a game, I have to tell them. Hey budy you got your priorities of of wack.  

     

  • nariusseldonnariusseldon santa clara, CAPosts: 22,441Member
    Originally posted by Jemcrystal

    Lucidia:  "Hi, Guildmate Death_Luv, my name is Lucidia and I'd like to party with you in Wiley Canyon.  Oh, btw, my two-yr-old and I are about to get evicted because we can't pay rent."  

    Death_Luv:  "Ah, errr, how bout them Dodgers?"

     

    How do you deal with mmo peeps unloading personal baggage in game?

     

     

    *[Made up names but the situation is vague copy from a encounter I had yesterday].

    i don't. Just quite the group. Or put them on ignore. If i want to be a shrink, i will go study psychology in college.

  • SuraknarSuraknar Montreal, QCPosts: 824Member
    Originally posted by Jemcrystal

    Lucidia:  "Hi, Guildmate Death_Luv, my name is Lucidia and I'd like to party with you in Wiley Canyon.  Oh, btw, my two-yr-old and I are about to get evicted because we can't pay rent."  

    Death_Luv:  "Ah, errr, how bout them Dodgers?"

     

    How do you deal with mmo peeps unloading personal baggage in game?

     

     

    *[Made up names but the situation is vague copy from a encounter I had yesterday].

     

    Depends on who you are yourself.

     

    Social Person:

    You would empathise be understanding, depending on your relationship with that other person you can sympathise and even try to help.

    Asocial person:

    You would ignore, stay silent, keep it game related in hopes they will stop.

    Anti-Social person:

    You would Break Party, recall somewhere else, change character, put them on ignore list or mute them or change Voice Channel

    Asshole/sociopath:

    You would Kill them and loot their stuff.

     

    - Duke Suraknar -
    Order of the Silver Star, OSS

    image
    ESKA, Playing MMORPG's since Ultima Online 1997 - Order of the Silver Serpent, Atlantic Shard

  • SimphanaticSimphanatic Marion, IAPosts: 92Member

    The sorry truth is there are many people who depend on online games for their primary source of human interaction. Often, this is a self-imposed circumstance, but I'm acquainted with a number of hardcore players who've disabilities (myself included) and find getting out of the house and socializing a somewhat insurmountable challenge.

    Still, there's a time and place for everything. Were the player characterized by the OP a total stranger, I'd find it an uncomfortable conversation and would do my utmost to disengage. Contrariwise, if the player was someone with whom I'd become friendly, I might lend an ear and support or advice within my purview.

    I'm certainly not bereft of empathy, but at the same time I tend to be a no-nonsense kind of player. When I'm engaged in a quest or group mission, I don't want to be bothered by chit chat that doesn't concern the game or specific matters at hand. One of the principal reasons I seek out MMOs is for their immersive quality -- call it escapism. I don't burden others with my real life issues and, generally, I'd much prefer they not burden me with theirs.

  • WizardryWizardry Ontario, CanadaPosts: 8,464Member Uncommon

    The sad part about MOST of the posts in here is that people care more about games than their fellow man.This is the direction society is moving ,the ME ME and i don't care about anyone else but me.Then people make excuses to justify their stance.

    it doesn't matter you are in a game or not,you are dealing with REAL people behind those characters and inside a game made by real people.

    People in the old days helped each other,everything from building each others house,to trading food back n forth.Can you imagine if back in those days,you got your house built by neighbours,then when they came in need of help you turned your head and said NOT NOW i am gaming !.

    If i heard a person was losing their home,i would try to support them and definitely feel sorry for them,i would not snub my nose at them.How soon people forget when they needed an ear or help.The modern day selfishness amazes me.These low standards for morals,i have even seen by websites including this one [MMORPG.com] i have seen it in many people,then these standards get passed down to their kids until finally we have the lowest form of moral possible,where NOBODY cares about anyone ...period.

    The title shows how naive people are,it calls PEOPLE >>>gamers.You think a person is any different because they game or read books or fix cars or go out jogging?people are still people and people with problems are still people in need.

    How about you are gaming and hear a car crash in front of your house?Ignore it?What if it was a child hit riding a bike?ignore becuase you are gaming,it is not your concern right?What if the parent of that child came knocking on your door,ignore it ,you are gaming?

     


    Samoan Diamond

  • SimphanaticSimphanatic Marion, IAPosts: 92Member
    Originally posted by Wizardry

    The sad part about MOST of the posts in here is that people care more about games than their fellow man.This is the direction society is moving ,the ME ME and i don't care about anyone else but me.Then people make excuses to justify their stance.

    it doesn't matter you are in a game or not,you are dealing with REAL people behind those characters and inside a game made by real people.

    People in the old days helped each other,everything from building each others house,to trading food back n forth.Can you imagine if back in those days,you got your house built by neighbours,then when they came in need of help you turned your head and said NOT NOW i am gaming !.

    If i heard a person was losing their home,i would try to support them and definitely feel sorry for them,i would not snub my nose at them.How soon people forget when they needed an ear or help.The modern day selfishness amazes me.These low standards for morals,i have even seen by websites including this one [MMORPG.com] i have seen it in many people,then these standards get passed down to their kids until finally we have the lowest form of moral possible,where NOBODY cares about anyone ...period.

    The title shows how naive people are,it calls PEOPLE >>>gamers.You think a person is any different because they game or read books or fix cars or go out jogging?people are still people and people with problems are still people in need.

    How about you are gaming and hear a car crash in front of your house?Ignore it?What if it was a child hit riding a bike?ignore becuase you are gaming,it is not your concern right?What if the parent of that child came knocking on your door,ignore it ,you are gaming?

     

    I understand, and agree with you to a point, except ...

    There's a huge difference between the people living next door to me and a pixilated name on my computer screen. Oceans of difference.

    When that parent comes knocking on my door, I will likely have seen them around the neighborhood, friend or not I can readily assess whether they mean me harm -- can see their face, gage the inflection in their voice, assess body language. I can also look into the street and quickly determine whether there's actually been an accident. I cannot -- and let repeat that -- I cannot do any of those things by way of a chat screen, even less so if I have little to no previous conversational history with the person.

    All kinds of people play online games, and unfortunately the relative anonymity of it too often brings out the worst in people. So, for better or worse, most of us put up a wall that would not ordinarily exist when interacting with people face to face. I've got a kind, trusting heart, but I've been scammed once too often, and over the past 12 years of online gaming, I've certainly endured enough EMOs and drama queens to understand there's a huge cadre of people online who are seeking attention however they can get it.

    So, yeah, I'm suspect and not a little chagrined when relative strangers approach me in the context of a game and want to tell me how bad off they are, or as has happened several times, approach me wanting free gear or in-game money because they haven't the time or inclination to earn it themselves.

    I donate generously to select charities, will never turn a neighbor or family member from my door, and annually drop a 20 into the red bucket at Christmastime, And, when appropriate, I will listen to others' problems during the course of playing an MMO. But, despite the guilt you're trying puke on us, I do not see it as my duty to play bleeding heart to every stranger who comes crying to my when I'm trying to enjoy a game.

    And since you're so easy with your anecdotes, imagine you're sitting in a movie theater with your family when a stranger in the row behind you starts whispering in your ear that he just broke up with his girlfriend. You might feel bad for him, but do you really want to hear a stranger's sob story? No you don't.

  • PsychowPsychow SF Giants Territory, CAPosts: 1,784Member
    Originally posted by Jemcrystal

    Lucidia:  "Hi, Guildmate Death_Luv, my name is Lucidia and I'd like to party with you in Wiley Canyon.  Oh, btw, my two-yr-old and I are about to get evicted because we can't pay rent."  

    Death_Luv:  "Ah, errr, how bout them Dodgers?"

     

    How do you deal with mmo peeps unloading personal baggage in game?

     

     

    *[Made up names but the situation is vague copy from a encounter I had yesterday].

     

    Well, as a Giants fan...I just put that Dodger fan on /ignore....I can't help his insanity nor his poor choice of a baseball team...

     

     

  • SuperDonkSuperDonk Vancouver, WAPosts: 781Member Common
    Originally posted by bunnyhopper
    Gank them and loot their stuffz.

     This made me chuckle.

     

    To answer the OP, the only thing I can remember that was a personal problem was a guildie that lost his Dad. We all typed our condolences and continued playing.

  • JemcrystalJemcrystal Champaign, ILPosts: 1,558Member Uncommon

    There were less people in the "old days."  You knew who was a scam artist and who wasn't.  If a new person came to town everyone acted suspicious of them until they proved themselves honest/sane.  And during the potato famine no one had the strength to be nice unless they were in a clan.  And even then you were hard pressed.

    I'm proud of peeps who stay soft even with so many swindlers afoot.  Scam artists are good at befriending and taking you for a ride.  Internet is their playground.  And I think some are trolling for mates with the broken-wing approach goes on too.

    I see a lot replies here are taking the middle ground approach.  Not ice cold baby but not gullible wallet handout either.  Society has not changed at all.  If you need help you go to your family and if you have no family you freeze in snow.

    Still, I was curious what everyone would say.  This situation I was a third party in guild chat watching and no one knew I was not afk.  I felt bad for "Death_Luv" but I wasn't about to come to his aid.  


  • kostoslavkostoslav somborPosts: 459Member
    Maybe she doesnt have anyone else to share her problems with. Some ppl feel better when they have somebody to listen.
  • SlampigSlampig Chantilly, VAPosts: 2,376Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by Lawlmonster

    I think everyone deserves help, regardless if you're face to face, on the phone, or using the internet: that's still a real person on the other end. Compassion doesn't make us weak, either. From my own experiences and tribulations, I can affirm that ventrilo and friends I've known for roughly fifteen years were the reason I sought medical and therapeutic aide, though I probably wouldn't have discussed my problems with strangers. People handle loss and conflict in different ways. Maybe the individual private messaging ol' Death_Luv had no one else to speak with, or couldn't fully confide in someone they already knew? Naturally, they should probably seek appropriate help, and the compassionate response would be to offer some form of comfort or advice.

     

    Sure, we've all got problems. No one really wants to spend their free time listening to other people bitch about their issues, but simply being polite, honest, or compassionate toward their situation could make all of the difference, with the added bonus of feeling good about what you've done.

    Good luck with that. From the OP and the majority of the posters in this thread I think you can see where these people stand...

    That Guild Wars 2 login screen knocked up my wife. Must be the second coming!

  • SimphanaticSimphanatic Marion, IAPosts: 92Member
    Originally posted by SuperDonk

    To answer the OP, the only thing I can remember that was a personal problem was a guildie that lost his Dad. We all typed our condolences and continued playing.

     

    In one the MMOs I played longest, I was a guild leader for well over a year. It's amazing what you learn about 'online' human nature from being in that position.

    First, there are really only two kinds of players -- those who give and those who take. The givers volunteer their time and resources to help their guildmates. The takers are never around when you need them, but they're johnny on the spot when a freebee is being handed out.

    The most valuable member of any guild is always named Google, he's also the least used member, especially by the takers.

    Lazy, freeloading members take up 90% of a guildleader's time, they tend to cause the most drama, and they seldom last long in the game. When they do stay, they'll inevitably be the biggest braggarts at upper levels, and will totally forget all the help the guild gave them on the way up.

    To the point of this thread, I will always remember a guild member who sucked the life out of a couple hours one evening when he got on guild chat and whined "my ear is broken and I can't afford a doctor." Several of us told him to clean the wax out with a cotton swab. "I can't do that," he said. We suggested using a bulb syringe and warm water. "Can't do that either." At last we suggested lying with his ear on a heating pad and letting the wax melt naturally, whereupon he returned to saying, "My ear is broken and I can't afford a doctor." Moral: some people don't want help, they only want attention.

    In your example, you did the best you could, and probably exactly what was called for. All the time I've played online, I've never know anyone who admitted to being a licensed psychologist, social worker, marriage counselor, guidance counselor, economic advisor, or career counselor. The best and wisest course for most of us when someone comes crying about their lot in life is to nod and move on.

  • RefMinorRefMinor MyTownPosts: 3,452Member
    I go to my games annual convention and wait until I am invited to a Q&A session that is being broadcast via a live feed then take the opportunity to call them out by name and mock their issues.
  • SuraknarSuraknar Montreal, QCPosts: 824Member
    Originally posted by Simphanatic
    Originally posted by Wizardry

    The sad part about MOST of the posts in here is that people care more about games than their fellow man.This is the direction society is moving ,the ME ME and i don't care about anyone else but me.Then people make excuses to justify their stance.

    it doesn't matter you are in a game or not,you are dealing with REAL people behind those characters and inside a game made by real people.

    People in the old days helped each other,everything from building each others house,to trading food back n forth.Can you imagine if back in those days,you got your house built by neighbours,then when they came in need of help you turned your head and said NOT NOW i am gaming !.

    If i heard a person was losing their home,i would try to support them and definitely feel sorry for them,i would not snub my nose at them.How soon people forget when they needed an ear or help.The modern day selfishness amazes me.These low standards for morals,i have even seen by websites including this one [MMORPG.com] i have seen it in many people,then these standards get passed down to their kids until finally we have the lowest form of moral possible,where NOBODY cares about anyone ...period.

    The title shows how naive people are,it calls PEOPLE >>>gamers.You think a person is any different because they game or read books or fix cars or go out jogging?people are still people and people with problems are still people in need.

    How about you are gaming and hear a car crash in front of your house?Ignore it?What if it was a child hit riding a bike?ignore becuase you are gaming,it is not your concern right?What if the parent of that child came knocking on your door,ignore it ,you are gaming?

     

    I understand, and agree with you to a point, except ...

    There's a huge difference between the people living next door to me and a pixilated name on my computer screen. Oceans of difference.

    When that parent comes knocking on my door, I will likely have seen them around the neighborhood, friend or not I can readily assess whether they mean me harm -- can see their face, gage the inflection in their voice, assess body language. I can also look into the street and quickly determine whether there's actually been an accident. I cannot -- and let repeat that -- I cannot do any of those things by way of a chat screen, even less so if I have little to no previous conversational history with the person.

    All kinds of people play online games, and unfortunately the relative anonymity of it too often brings out the worst in people. So, for better or worse, most of us put up a wall that would not ordinarily exist when interacting with people face to face. I've got a kind, trusting heart, but I've been scammed once too often, and over the past 12 years of online gaming, I've certainly endured enough EMOs and drama queens to understand there's a huge cadre of people online who are seeking attention however they can get it.

    So, yeah, I'm suspect and not a little chagrined when relative strangers approach me in the context of a game and want to tell me how bad off they are, or as has happened several times, approach me wanting free gear or in-game money because they haven't the time or inclination to earn it themselves.

    I donate generously to select charities, will never turn a neighbor or family member from my door, and annually drop a 20 into the red bucket at Christmastime, And, when appropriate, I will listen to others' problems during the course of playing an MMO. But, despite the guilt you're trying puke on us, I do not see it as my duty to play bleeding heart to every stranger who comes crying to my when I'm trying to enjoy a game.

    And since you're so easy with your anecdotes, imagine you're sitting in a movie theater with your family when a stranger in the row behind you starts whispering in your ear that he just broke up with his girlfriend. You might feel bad for him, but do you really want to hear a stranger's sob story? No you don't.

    While it may seem that this is the case. I do nto agree completelly.

    Yes internet anonymity brings the worst out of people, but how bad is it to share a personal situation with someone?

    Why would it be considered bad in the first place. The least we can do is empathise I think.

    because it did not hurt you or your game or your stats or your raid or your Fun or your escapism that a person shared a personal situation.

     

    i reckon we do not have all the details in the example brought on here and we are all assuming more or less, but as a general rule I have not seen anyone going around in a game sharing personal situations to strangers. It is therefore reasonable to think that in this case the OP and that person they spoke with knew eachother to a certain extent, enough for that person to share something of a personal nature.

    And under this context the least the OP can do is to empathise, maybe say something to comfort that other peorson or at least show some Consideration. That is all it takes most of the time.

    As even the person sharing that information is not expecting anything more, they may just want to get it out to someone they nbeen sharing an experience with, within the game, and not feel completelly lost.

    Chances are, that this person having those problems is also in the game to escape from them and get some fun inspite of the sad gravity of their situation to lift their spirits.

    So again here is my list,

    Social Person:

    You would empathise be understanding, depending on your relationship with that other person you can sympathise and even try to help.

    Asocial person:

    You would ignore, stay silent, keep it game related in hopes they will stop.

    Anti-Social person:

    You would Break Party, recall somewhere else, change character, put them on ignore list or mute them or change Voice Channel

    Asshole/sociopath:

    You would Kill them and loot their stuff.

     

    Now, you maybe a very social person in RL, this list doe snot necesarilly mean that you are like that everywhere, but you are what you are when you behave in that fashion, it could be only in the game. Becaue of anonimity, you maybe a Social Caring and Considerate person in RL, but when you are in game, you become Asocial.

    You make your own conclusions. But I think in this specific case, we should all at least strive to do the right thing and be a bit considerate even if it means we may get delayed a few minutes from reaching our daily virtual gold goal, or aquisition of a virtual peice of equipment a achievent etc...

    The argument of, "hey these are but moody pixels and not real people in front of me" works both ways. because you choose to give more importance to an innanimate pice of Virtual Items ofver the Emotions and communiction of a real person talking through their Virtual Moody Pixel representation.

    Do not mistake the medium for the the being. Even if we interact with Moody Pixels, beahind them there is a rel person. While behind any of our goals in the game there is innanimate nothingness.

    Furthermore, if you choose to play an MMO you should be ready to face these situations, for me, the argument of "I play to escape" simply does not stand here.

    If you really want to escape, then why play an MMO?

    Don't yu think that a Solo game is much better for escapism? You can immerse yourself in the game and you only have to interact with NPC's only have to work on your own goals, achievements and plans without any distraction from other annoying PC's...

    It does not make sence to me to want to espace from other people and then play a game full of people.

    - Duke Suraknar -
    Order of the Silver Star, OSS

    image
    ESKA, Playing MMORPG's since Ultima Online 1997 - Order of the Silver Serpent, Atlantic Shard

  • SimphanaticSimphanatic Marion, IAPosts: 92Member
    Originally posted by Suraknar
    Originally posted by Simphanatic
    Originally posted by Wizardry

    The sad part about MOST of the posts in here is that people care more about games than their fellow man.This is the direction society is moving ,the ME ME and i don't care about anyone else but me.Then people make excuses to justify their stance.

    it doesn't matter you are in a game or not,you are dealing with REAL people behind those characters and inside a game made by real people.

    People in the old days helped each other,everything from building each others house,to trading food back n forth.Can you imagine if back in those days,you got your house built by neighbours,then when they came in need of help you turned your head and said NOT NOW i am gaming !.

    If i heard a person was losing their home,i would try to support them and definitely feel sorry for them,i would not snub my nose at them.How soon people forget when they needed an ear or help.The modern day selfishness amazes me.These low standards for morals,i have even seen by websites including this one [MMORPG.com] i have seen it in many people,then these standards get passed down to their kids until finally we have the lowest form of moral possible,where NOBODY cares about anyone ...period.

    The title shows how naive people are,it calls PEOPLE >>>gamers.You think a person is any different because they game or read books or fix cars or go out jogging?people are still people and people with problems are still people in need.

    How about you are gaming and hear a car crash in front of your house?Ignore it?What if it was a child hit riding a bike?ignore becuase you are gaming,it is not your concern right?What if the parent of that child came knocking on your door,ignore it ,you are gaming?

     

    I understand, and agree with you to a point, except ...

    There's a huge difference between the people living next door to me and a pixilated name on my computer screen. Oceans of difference.

    When that parent comes knocking on my door, I will likely have seen them around the neighborhood, friend or not I can readily assess whether they mean me harm -- can see their face, gage the inflection in their voice, assess body language. I can also look into the street and quickly determine whether there's actually been an accident. I cannot -- and let repeat that -- I cannot do any of those things by way of a chat screen, even less so if I have little to no previous conversational history with the person.

    All kinds of people play online games, and unfortunately the relative anonymity of it too often brings out the worst in people. So, for better or worse, most of us put up a wall that would not ordinarily exist when interacting with people face to face. I've got a kind, trusting heart, but I've been scammed once too often, and over the past 12 years of online gaming, I've certainly endured enough EMOs and drama queens to understand there's a huge cadre of people online who are seeking attention however they can get it.

    So, yeah, I'm suspect and not a little chagrined when relative strangers approach me in the context of a game and want to tell me how bad off they are, or as has happened several times, approach me wanting free gear or in-game money because they haven't the time or inclination to earn it themselves.

    I donate generously to select charities, will never turn a neighbor or family member from my door, and annually drop a 20 into the red bucket at Christmastime, And, when appropriate, I will listen to others' problems during the course of playing an MMO. But, despite the guilt you're trying puke on us, I do not see it as my duty to play bleeding heart to every stranger who comes crying to my when I'm trying to enjoy a game.

    And since you're so easy with your anecdotes, imagine you're sitting in a movie theater with your family when a stranger in the row behind you starts whispering in your ear that he just broke up with his girlfriend. You might feel bad for him, but do you really want to hear a stranger's sob story? No you don't.

    While it may seem that this is the case. I do nto agree completelly.

    Yes internet anonymity brings the worst out of people, but how bad is it to share a personal situation with someone?

    Why would it be considered bad in the first place. The least we can do is empathise I think.

    because it did not hurt you or your game or your stats or your raid or your Fun or your escapism that a person shared a personal situation.

     

    i reckon we do not have all the details in the example brought on here and we are all assuming more or less, but as a general rule I have not seen anyone going around in a game sharing personal situations to strangers. It is therefore reasonable to think that in this case the OP and that person they spoke with knew eachother to a certain extent, enough for that person to share something of a personal nature.

    And under this context the least the OP can do is to empathise, maybe say something to comfort that other peorson or at least show some Consideration. That is all it takes most of the time.

    As even the person sharing that information is not expecting anything more, they may just want to get it out to someone they nbeen sharing an experience with, within the game, and not feel completelly lost.

    Chances are, that this person having those problems is also in the game to escape from them and get some fun inspite of the sad gravity of their situation to lift their spirits.

    So again here is my list,

    Social Person:

    You would empathise be understanding, depending on your relationship with that other person you can sympathise and even try to help.

    Asocial person:

    You would ignore, stay silent, keep it game related in hopes they will stop.

    Anti-Social person:

    You would Break Party, recall somewhere else, change character, put them on ignore list or mute them or change Voice Channel

    Asshole/sociopath:

    You would Kill them and loot their stuff.

     

    Now, you maybe a very social person in RL, this list doe snot necesarilly mean that you are like that everywhere, but you are what you are when you behave in that fashion, it could be only in the game. Becaue of anonimity, you maybe a Social Caring and Considerate person in RL, but when you are in game, you become Asocial.

    You make your own conclusions. But I think in this specific case, we should all at least strive to do the right thing and be a bit considerate even if it means we may get delayed a few minutes from reaching our daily virtual gold goal, or aquisition of a virtual peice of equipment a achievent etc...

    The argument of, "hey these are but moody pixels and not real people in front of me" works both ways. because you choose to give more importance to an innanimate pice of Virtual Items ofver the Emotions and communiction of a real person talking through their Virtual Moody Pixel representation.

    Do not mistake the medium for the the being. Even if we interact with Moody Pixels, beahind them there is a rel person. While behind any of our goals in the game there is innanimate nothingness.

    Furthermore, if you choose to play an MMO you should be ready to face these situations, for me, the argument of "I play to escape" simply does not stand here.

    If you really want to escape, then why play an MMO?

    Don't yu think that a Solo game is much better for escapism? You can immerse yourself in the game and you only have to interact with NPC's only have to work on your own goals, achievements and plans without any distraction from other annoying PC's...

    It does not make sence to me to want to espace from other people and then play a game full of people.

    Well, now, first off I never indicated I'd ever tell anyone GTFO. I don't approach relative strangers with my personal issues in the context of a game, nor do I appreciate them bringing personal issues to me. When it does happen, I will listen, console if appropriate, and will thereupon extricate myself from the conversation. I am not a licensed therapist and, since no one ever imparts full facts, circumstances, or case histories during these kinds of discourses, I am not suited to dispensing advice.

    I really really really don't want to sound like a cold-hearted biotch, but there are much more appropriate milieus for dumping your personal problems than an online game with near total strangers.

    I frankly think we've all become a little too cavalier in tossing around the term "friend." My definition stems from pre-internet days, when a friend was someone with whom you shared mutual trust, could look in the eye and estimate the depth of loyalty and trustworthiness. These days, a "friend" is anyone with whom you've shared a few truncated paragraphs, acronyms, and a Youtube link. Maybe the cruxt of our disagreement here is in the definition.

  • AccountDeleted12341AccountDeleted12341 Houston, TXPosts: 351Member
    Originally posted by Wizardry

    The sad part about MOST of the posts in here is that people care more about games than their fellow man.This is the direction society is moving ,the ME ME and i don't care about anyone else but me.Then people make excuses to justify their stance.

    it doesn't matter you are in a game or not,you are dealing with REAL people behind those characters and inside a game made by real people.

    People in the old days helped each other,everything from building each others house,to trading food back n forth.Can you imagine if back in those days,you got your house built by neighbours,then when they came in need of help you turned your head and said NOT NOW i am gaming !.

    If i heard a person was losing their home,i would try to support them and definitely feel sorry for them,i would not snub my nose at them.How soon people forget when they needed an ear or help.The modern day selfishness amazes me.These low standards for morals,i have even seen by websites including this one [MMORPG.com] i have seen it in many people,then these standards get passed down to their kids until finally we have the lowest form of moral possible,where NOBODY cares about anyone ...period.

    The title shows how naive people are,it calls PEOPLE >>>gamers.You think a person is any different because they game or read books or fix cars or go out jogging?people are still people and people with problems are still people in need.

    How about you are gaming and hear a car crash in front of your house?Ignore it?What if it was a child hit riding a bike?ignore becuase you are gaming,it is not your concern right?What if the parent of that child came knocking on your door,ignore it ,you are gaming?

    I hate to break it to you and destroy your world view, but...

     

    People have not changed since the dawn of mankind. They've always been and always will be this way. People in the "old days" were no different than in modern times. Things looked different, but people were and always have been, always will be- the same.

    There will always be selfish people in the world, and they will always outnumber the selfless people, who will always be in the world as well.

     

    The drama, the selfishness, the childish nature of adults, the compassion of the few, the stupidity, the sheep-like nature of humans, the rebellious strength of the few, the good, the bad, the ugly-- all of this has always been the same. Nothing has or ever will change until the death of all mankind. There are no such thing as "the good old days" and morals/values haven't changed in measure of good v. evil.

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