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I'm a girl...no really, I'm a girl. Well, maybe not.

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  • CalmOceansCalmOceans Member UncommonPosts: 2,437

    When a male joins vent and I have got to know him as a girl I can not get the idea out of my mind that he's a somewhat feminine or gay male. Imagine if a girl played a male character and dressed like a male, wouldn't you think the same thing?

    A female who dresses like a male is called a tomboy or lesbian, a male who dresses like a girl tends to be gay or a drag queen. That's just how I see it.

    Maybe it's different in games, but when that girly character joins vent and has this deep manly voice, it's just weird sorry, I can't help but think of that person as a drag queen. I mean a person who has a male voice and a female appearance is called a drag queen in RL, and that's why you look like if you do that in MMO too.

  • defector1968defector1968 Member UncommonPosts: 469
    Originally posted by CalmOceans

    When a male joins vent and I have got to know him as a girl I can not get the idea out of my mind that he's a somewhat feminine or gay male. Imagine if a girl played a male character and dressed like a male, wouldn't you think the same thing?

    A female who dresses like a male is called a tomboy or lesbian, a male who dresses like a girl tends to be gay or a drag queen. That's just how I see it.

    its more gay when a man playing a male toon watching a male ass all the time, looks to twisted :)

    (just another point of view)

    fan of SWG, XCOM, Defiance, Global Agenda, Need For Speed, all Star Wars single player games. And waiting the darn STAR CITIZEN
  • Beatnik59Beatnik59 Member UncommonPosts: 2,413

    I'm straight.  While I play maIe characters, I've played female characters on occasion as well.  I play them realistically.  They aren't hypersexualized.  They aren't out to "get free stuff."  They aren't some sexual fantasy.  I play them like the women I see every day.  If there is something wrong with that, I think it's a real shame that it's wrong.

    Because I have to tell you, I've learned so much about women when I play one.

    For example, I can say with absolute certainty that the whole "women get free stuff" pattern is true.  What I learned, really quickly as a female, is that the "free stuff" is almost never free.  It's paid for in tell hells, guilt trips, misunderstandings, divisiveness and nastiness.  As a result, I learned to never, never, never accept "free stuff" without giving something in exchange on an equal footing...or even better than an equal footing...so they could never hold that against you later.

    I learned how troublesome other people could be for a woman...especially when it came to male characters.  Yes, you get more attention as a woman, but most of that extra attention is unwanted attention.  There would be some who would send you tells as soon as you logged in, and they'd get nasty and bitter if you didn't respond right away.  Some would keep on pushing to see you, or try different tactics over the tell to get what they wanted.  If you said, "I'm busy now," they'd take it as an insult...even if it was someone who was a good friend, and even if you really were busy.

    Frankly, I don't know how girls can even play these games sometimes.  There's so many more interpersonal sources of stress when I play as a female.

    But I will say this.  I learned that the real thing a girl really wants from a guy isn't "loot," or "status," or "someone who treats me well."  When I played as a female, the male characters that I liked being around were simply fun to be around.  They did fun things.  They were lighthearted and optimistic, not heavy and romantic.  In short, all of the things I thought women wanted in a man were things that, playing as a woman, repulsed me.

    Which is why I think every guy (and perhaps every girl) should play opposite of what they are.  You'll learn so much and make the world a better place from what you'll learn.

     

     

     

    __________________________
    "Its sad when people use religion to feel superior, its even worse to see people using a video game to do it."
    --Arcken

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    --Hellmar, CEO of CCP.

    "It's like they took a gun, put it to their nugget sack and pulled the trigger over and over again, each time telling us how great it was that they were shooting themselves in the balls."
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  • ZoeMcCloskeyZoeMcCloskey Member UncommonPosts: 1,372
    Originally posted by Beatnik59

    I'm straight.  While I play maIe characters, I've played female characters on occasion as well.  I play them realistically.  They aren't hypersexualized.  They aren't out to "get free stuff."  They aren't some sexual fantasy.  I play them like the women I see every day.  If there is something wrong with that, I think it's a real shame that it's wrong.

    Because I have to tell you, I've learned so much about women when I play one.

    For example, I can say with absolute certainty that the whole "women get free stuff" pattern is true.  What I learned, really quickly as a female, is that the "free stuff" is almost never free.  It's paid for in tell hells, guilt trips, misunderstandings, divisiveness and nastiness.  As a result, I learned to never, never, never accept "free stuff" without giving something in exchange on an equal footing...or even better than an equal footing...so they could never hold that against you later.

    I learned how troublesome other people could be for a woman...especially when it came to male characters.  Yes, you get more attention as a woman, but most of that extra attention is unwanted attention.  There would be some who would send you tells as soon as you logged in, and they'd get nasty and bitter if you didn't respond right away.  Some would keep on pushing to see you, or try different tactics over the tell to get what they wanted.  If you said, "I'm busy now," they'd take it as an insult...even if it was someone who was a good friend, and even if you really were busy.

    Frankly, I don't know how girls can even play these games sometimes.  There's so many more interpersonal sources of stress when I play as a female.

    But I will say this.  I learned that the real thing a girl really wants from a guy isn't "loot," or "status," or "someone who treats me well."  When I played as a female, the male characters that I liked being around were simply fun to be around.  They did fun things.  They were lighthearted and optimistic, not heavy and romantic.  In short, all of the things I thought women wanted in a man were things that, playing as a woman, repulsed me.

    Which is why I think every guy (and perhaps every girl) should play opposite of what they are.  You'll learn so much and make the world a better place from what you'll learn.

     

     

     

    I am glad to see this, so glad.  There is a reason I remain extremely non-flirtacious ingames unless it is people I know well.  Always polite, always helpful to people, but loathe to accept anything handed for free for all those reasons listed above.

    Some of the responses here are just flatout sad, frightening even, I can't imagine living with the insecurity exibited here.  Also it seems like so many have like ZERO understanding of what straight, gay, trans, drag queen or any of these terms mean.  A gay male wants to be a *gasp* male, they don't typically want to be women, even drag queens take off the girl clothes when it comes time for them to be themselves in a "relationship" manner.  Now trans is a whole new ball of wax, they surely will play the gender they identify with and in many/most cases I would say they identify with said gender from a "straight" point of view. 

    Really almost every damn problem when it comes to this issue would be simply solved by insecure "straight" men just treating everyone else politely and try to use some empathy and stop thinking every gay guy or tranny or drag queen or whatever in existence is about to hit on them, lol.  Hell in reality most gay, trans, drag queens, dogs, cats, aliens, fish or whatever else probably don't want to hit on you anyways so get off your high horses and just treat people as people, ffs, what is so hard about that?

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  • BijouBijou Member UncommonPosts: 145

    I'm female and I only play a male char in Prince of Persia (that's why my favorite one is PoP 2008 where I can semi-control Elika). c; I've never had a male char in an MMO and never will. I love being a woman in real life and in games, lol.

  • BlessingsBlessings Member Posts: 66

    I'm a female and I play as male characters usually, because armor looks ridiculously oversexed in most mmos. The guys armor tends to look way cooler, and its always funny being in a guild with people for the first time and hearing dead silence when I come on and start speaking. Usually followed by "Wtf you're a chick?"

     

    People tend to automatically stereotype females in games, and even though they know 90% of female toons are guys playing them, they still toss the majority of them into that. I'de rather people judge me based on my ability, not the size of my tits or the pitch of my voice.

    image
  • WolfynsongWolfynsong Member Posts: 237

    I'm male.  I play a mix of genders, but usually my main character is female.

    That niggling logical part of me always maintains a certain level of disconnect from whatever game I'm playing, so I never view my characters as being any kind of extension of myself.

    So instead I choose to play characters that I find aesthetically pleasing, which 9 times out of 10 means I'm going to play a female.

    I value aesthetics a bit more than what I would call "normal," so looking good in-game is actually a significant criteria in whether or not I enjoy playing a game.  At the same time, though, I really hate oversexualization (in most cases anyway) and pretty much flat out refuse to play a character like that - in cases where it appears I won't be able to escape it, I'll always opt for a male character instead.

    But really that's just a preliminary choice.  My real concern isn't male vs female, but more about whether or not I can get some really awesome looking armor for said character.

  • PainlezzPainlezz Member UncommonPosts: 646

    I think the real issue isn't why men choose to play female characters in video games... But why men want to spend hours customizing hair, make-up, and clothing in video games... 

     

    I don't see anything wrong with a man who wants to look at sexy female boobs/ass all day long.  But I do see something wrong with a "man" who wants to spend hours doing hair and make-up...

  • barasawabarasawa Member UncommonPosts: 618

    I play both genders, but often play females if the camera is in the common from behind the back view. The reason is simple, if I have to stare at a backside for hours, it should be one I find pleasing. (Obviously in EQ if playing a troll, none of them are pleasing, or even less disgusting.)

    When in game, I don't discuss my real world gender, because it doesn't matter. I'm not going to have sex with you, I'm not going to date you, and I'm there to game, not mess with cyber/chat sex. If you want that stuff, go to a chat room or something and stop wasting a game servers bandwidth.

    Since I don't act like a hormone addled teenager, people often assume I'm really female. I don't correct them, it would be pointless. A nice side effect of that is I've been befriended by many female players that are pretending to be male so they won't be harrassed or stalked by the scum and jerks.

    The bad side of this is that I have been harrassed by lowlifes that want to pretend to have sex with me. They are stupid fools that don't understand that the games don't support that kind of B.S. and outlaw such harassment. And yes, I do turn them in after giving them one warning if they don't take the hint and direct statements for them to leave me alone. The game reps don't tell you what happens from that, but I know of a lot of the characters that permanently disappear. So yes, you can and will get banned for sexual harassment if keep annoying other players after they tell you 'no'.

    If you feel you must participate in chat sex, there are special chat programs for that which include adult themed skins and adult style animation emotes.  I expect you'd get your jollies much better in an environment made for that, and you won't be risking a perma-ban and possible cyberstalking lawsuit.

     

    I guess a quick summation would be: Your realworld and online gender don't matter because you won't be having sex anyway. And if you want to pretend at having sex, don't waste time in an MMO, go to an adult chatroom.

    Lost my mind, now trying to lose yours...

  • ZoeMcCloskeyZoeMcCloskey Member UncommonPosts: 1,372
    Originally posted by OG_Zorvan
    Originally posted by Painlezz

    I think the real issue isn't why men choose to play female characters in video games... But why men want to spend hours customizing hair, make-up, and clothing in video games... 

     

    I don't see anything wrong with a man who wants to look at sexy female boobs/ass all day long.  But I do see something wrong with a "man" who wants to spend hours doing hair and make-up...

    And why is that?

    I'm 100%-Grade A- No doubt about it -heterosexual.

    But I have been known to have better "fashion sense" than many of the women i know. In fact, being able to show a woman you can make her look "hot" is one of the quickest ways to score. lol

    Besides that, playing a girl ingame is the only time I can play Barbie Dress-Up without having to punch someone in the nose when they say something stupid about it.

    Edit: And we won't even mention all the 100% straight guys making hundreds an hour doing female stars wardrobe, make-up, and hair.

    Exactly, screw gender stereotypes and peer pressure.  People need to do what they want to do and not fit into closed minded people's views on what they "should" be doing.

    image
  • GrimmxGrimmx Member UncommonPosts: 189
    Originally posted by Iselin
    Originally posted by Grimmx

    I cant play a female character.

    And i treat everybody playing female character as males until i can hear a voice on ventrilo, mumble etc ;)

    You treat males and females differently? Interesting. I mean, I can understan this to some extent in person since visual cues and even pherormones come into play to some extent. But a digital male or female toon? Boggles the mind.

     

    Maybe I'm just getting too old and my breeding imperative isn't what it used to be--was there...did that--but I find some of the replies in this thread hilarious.

     

    Lots of material here for a psychology course on aberrant behaviour image

     

    I'm no more an Orc, Undead, Charr or Asuran than I am female or male in a game. I pick semirandomly as it makes absolutely zero difference.

     

    This is simple, i dont like playing a female toon IG because of all the akward moments you can get IG by doing this. I really dont care if your "Iselin" or a guy named Harry that likes to use a female avatar on forums. 

    My point is that its akward and uncomfortable for me to play a female character IG. Its so many freaks that like to play female characters and act like a girl as well that i do tend to not respond to it. And yes, i do treat wimen differently in real life, even if you are trying your best to make it sound like a bad sexist thing to do.

    I would also like to add that i play FFA PvP mostly, and females that "are" female are long inbetween :)

  • CyraelCyrael Member UncommonPosts: 239
    Originally posted by ZoeMcCloskey
    Originally posted by OG_Zorvan
    Originally posted by Painlezz

    I think the real issue isn't why men choose to play female characters in video games... But why men want to spend hours customizing hair, make-up, and clothing in video games... 

     

    I don't see anything wrong with a man who wants to look at sexy female boobs/ass all day long.  But I do see something wrong with a "man" who wants to spend hours doing hair and make-up...

    And why is that?

    I'm 100%-Grade A- No doubt about it -heterosexual.

    But I have been known to have better "fashion sense" than many of the women i know. In fact, being able to show a woman you can make her look "hot" is one of the quickest ways to score. lol

    Besides that, playing a girl ingame is the only time I can play Barbie Dress-Up without having to punch someone in the nose when they say something stupid about it.

    Edit: And we won't even mention all the 100% straight guys making hundreds an hour doing female stars wardrobe, make-up, and hair.

    Exactly, screw gender stereotypes and peer pressure.  People need to do what they want to do and not fit into closed minded people's views on what they "should" be doing.

    This. Gender stereotypes are incredibly annoying.

  • SimphanaticSimphanatic Member Posts: 92

    I'm a woman, I roll female avatars exclusively. When I'm playing an MMO it's more enjoyable when I can immerse myself in what's going on, I think I'd find that very difficult playing the opposite gender.

    That said, I'm not a little put off by the wardrobes developers provide. For instance, I'd no sooner go into battle in a ball gown or bikini in a game than I would in real life. Most outfits provided in MMOs are simply absurd. For me, at least, the outrageous attire foisted on female avatars in most MMOs degrades the immersion I'm seeking.

    I don't really object to players rolling avatars of the opposite gender; I do object mightily to men who are playing female avatars, who subsequently come on to male players in game. It makes male players distrustful of all female players, and ultimately makes social interation for gendered females more difficult. Nowadays, except for combat specific interaction, I make very little effort to know fellow players because there're so many games going on beyond that envisioned by developers. This problem is pervasive enough to have spawned the widely believed myth that women don't play MMOs. It's right up there with the one that suggests only pimply faced, prepubescent boys play MMOs.

    Get my point?

  • ScotScot Member LegendaryPosts: 22,825
    Hang on, just got to sort this zit. OK got it. :)
  • WizardryWizardry Member LegendaryPosts: 19,332

    I play a male ALL the time .You do realize this is a ROLE PLAYING GAME genre,so to play a female is like saying you dream of being a female.

    Now if you are playing TWO or more  players that is different,you obviously could never be both at the same time.It would be making a statement that you would like to role play a female and male together,more acceptable than a guy wishing he was a female.

    I have heard statements saying they rather look at a female character than a male,well then find a female friend to look at?Wel lexcept yo uwon't know if it is a female since  so many guys playing female players.

    Never forget 3 mile Island and never trust a government official or company spokesman.

  • ZoeMcCloskeyZoeMcCloskey Member UncommonPosts: 1,372
    Originally posted by Wizardry

    I play a male ALL the time .You do realize this is a ROLE PLAYING GAME genre,so to play a female is like saying you dream of being a female.

    Now if you are playing TWO or more  players that is different,you obviously could never be both at the same time.It would be making a statement that you would like to role play a female and male together,more acceptable than a guy wishing he was a female.

    I have heard statements saying they rather look at a female character than a male,well then find a female friend to look at?Wel lexcept yo uwon't know if it is a female since  so many guys playing female players.

    Anybody playing anything at all should be acceptable.  As long as they are not griefing or harming anyone with their actions, who cares.  

    I'll always maintain that the primary, if not only people who have a problem in this area are inexperienced or really insecure males.  The ones who don't really understand sex or sexuality yet so they are threatened easily.

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  • MMOExposedMMOExposed Member RarePosts: 7,387
    Originally posted by LoverNoFighter
    Originally posted by CujoSWAoA

    whats the difference?

    I don't give a crap what people are in reality or out of it.

    If you don't know the difference between males and females....well, good luck in life, champ. :-D

    its getting harder and harder (no pun) to tell...

     

    this aint the Crying Games. this 2012.

    Philosophy of MMO Game Design

  • defector1968defector1968 Member UncommonPosts: 469
    Originally posted by Wizardry

    I play a male ALL the time .You do realize this is a ROLE PLAYING GAME genre,so to play a female is like saying you dream of being a female.

    Now if you are playing TWO or more  players that is different,you obviously could never be both at the same time.It would be making a statement that you would like to role play a female and male together,more acceptable than a guy wishing he was a female.

    I have heard statements saying they rather look at a female character than a male,well then find a female friend to look at?Wel lexcept yo uwon't know if it is a female since  so many guys playing female players.

    another P.O.V.

    i dont care for role play, i play the game for the graphics, animations, for the collections for the sounds, and watching a male body / ass all the time looks gay to me

    fan of SWG, XCOM, Defiance, Global Agenda, Need For Speed, all Star Wars single player games. And waiting the darn STAR CITIZEN
  • SuraknarSuraknar Member UncommonPosts: 852
    Originally posted by LoverNoFighter

    As a male, do you play a male character or a female one?

    If you're a female, male or female charater?

     

    I play both female and male chars.

    This is a Role Playing fantasy Game, not a Dating site.

    And I like the opportunity to role play various different characters and different genders too. I have no problem with it, I am perfectly secure with my masculinity and sexuality in RL.

    I do not want to make this sound stereotypical, but if you do consider yourself a Role Player you should not have any problem playing either gender, it only enriches the experience.

     

    - Duke Suraknar -
    Order of the Silver Star, OSS

    ESKA, Playing MMORPG's since Ultima Online 1997 - Order of the Silver Serpent, Atlantic Shard
  • SovrathSovrath Member LegendaryPosts: 31,937
    Originally posted by Wizardry

    I play a male ALL the time .You do realize this is a ROLE PLAYING GAME genre,so to play a female is like saying you dream of being a female.

    You are aware that there are actors who play opposite genders but who are straight? There  are operas that are written where the character is male but the part is written for a female singer.

    One can adopt a role without wanting to dream about being the opposite sex. You might not be able to conceive of it  but others can.

    I'll completely accept that if you would not be able to play the opposite sex. But I can also accept that others might be able to play a character of the opposite sex and still retain their gender identity at the end of the night.

     

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  • SuraknarSuraknar Member UncommonPosts: 852
    Originally posted by Wizardry

    I play a male ALL the time .You do realize this is a ROLE PLAYING GAME genre,so to play a female is like saying you dream of being a female.

    Now if you are playing TWO or more  players that is different,you obviously could never be both at the same time.It would be making a statement that you would like to role play a female and male together,more acceptable than a guy wishing he was a female.

    I have heard statements saying they rather look at a female character than a male,well then find a female friend to look at?Wel lexcept yo uwon't know if it is a female since  so many guys playing female players.

    You do realize, that Role Playing actually means, Playing various Roles, which are not limited by Gender.

    You do also realize that, your post can be interpreted as if you are scared to admit to your own secret desires and that is why you are being so adamant in showing that you play only male Characters ALL the time, thinking that no one will suspect you?

    You know what they say about people who are homophobic right?

    I do not want to go further, we could play with words and meaning all day, the moral of the story is this:

    You play play what you like, and you let people play what they like, and no one makes judgements of other's choices.

    Cheers!

    - Duke Suraknar -
    Order of the Silver Star, OSS

    ESKA, Playing MMORPG's since Ultima Online 1997 - Order of the Silver Serpent, Atlantic Shard
  • ZoeMcCloskeyZoeMcCloskey Member UncommonPosts: 1,372
    Good posts Sovrath and Suraknar, both put to words some of what I been tryign to say too.

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  • DhaenonDhaenon Member UncommonPosts: 150

    I don't understand why if a dude thinks it is weird or lame that another dude is playing a chick... it makes him insecure.

     

    I personally would never play a female character because I simply don't see why I would. Why would I WANT to play a female character? I don't... so I don't. I have no problem with other dudes playing chicks, whatever floats your boat, however I do think it is strange. 

    Though I remember talking about Dragon Age with a girlfriend of mine, she was obsessed with the game. While comparing our various characters she pointed out that I didn't have any female characters. After a long discussion she decided it was because I was sexist. Perhaps that is the MYSTERIOUS reason why some men are cool with playing female characters and some men are not.

  • XasapisXasapis Member RarePosts: 6,337

    There is no right or wrong way to select a gender in a game and, unlike what some posters believe (perhaps by projecting) that choice is not character defining. In other words, looking solely at the avatar gender tells you nothing about the person behind it.

     

    When I was younger, the game avatars used to be my personal representation in the game world, a virtual extension of my own personality. Thus at that period I was playing exclusively males. It also makes me understand why people with this kind of mentality towards their own avatars would find people with different mentality weird. To them, if the avatar is not representative of your RL personality, it makes you phoney or it shows some aspect of your personality you are trying to hide.

     

    Now that I'm older and it's been more than a decade playing those games, I'm rather detached from the avatars I'm playing. They are no longer me. They are just interesting characters in a movie that I can affect. And in this interactive movie, I chose to have a protagonist that I'm more empathic about, which in my case is a female character. This has nothing to do with roleplaying, I don't roleplay a female. I control her actions and her fate and watch her progress in an interesting virtual world.

     

    The mentality towards avatars is quite different between the two approaches in gaming. I guess it is easier for young or new to the gaming people to associate themselves with their characters. Thing is, as long as the person next to you is not actively trying to con you into thinking he's something he's not, then his choice in character gender is as valid as yours.

  • quasar941quasar941 Member Posts: 159

    I'm male IRL but in online games  I play an equal mix of both sexes. The decision of which sex to play usually depends entirely on the appearance of the genders of the race in question. For example, in WoW, most of the male avatars look like steroid abusing freaks, so I have a lot of female characters. On games such as AoC, where both sexes are equally decent looking, I tend to stick to male characters.

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