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An analysis of the female gamer, from my POV

alexanys1982alexanys1982 naples, FLPosts: 276Member

I have to wait around for the female members of my guild to show up to start a raid, regardless if its a healer or not, the other officers simply wont go if its a sausage party.

 

I have to feel pressured to help them through earlier content and if i dont im seen as the ogre who must be gay because he isnt helping mary sue.

 

They ask for gold more then any male guild member iv had since DAOC

 

When its all guys in a guild, theres very very little drama on vent or gchat UNLESS something drops 2 guys want. Lockerroom enviroment, soon as females join people behave differently over vent.

 

when you DO get one thats skilled at her role, without fail she has  becomes impossible to deal with, think Diana Ross in a room full of nobodys.

 

This has just been my experience over the last few years when woman have really started to make themselves known, and so far its been mostly negative for me. Anyone have any POSOTIVE stories to share? Cuz im close to throwing up a no chicks allowed sign on my GW2 guild come next month....

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Comments

  • HrimnirHrimnir Qeynos, COPosts: 1,597Member Uncommon

    They exist, but honestly i blame the guys more than the chicks.  If dudes wouldnt hump legs so much they wouldnt act like they do.                                                      

    "The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."

    - Friedrich Nietzsche

  • PoufPouf St-hyacinthe, QCPosts: 341Member

    Yes I kinda agree with you, MY gf used to play video game and she stopped, and you are totally right, if she would bail out a raid , most of the time it wouldnt even go without her. She could get gold from anyone in the guild with no problem whenever.

    I had personal "problems" with her, because if she was playing wrong I was immidiately the bad guy for telling her and there was a lot of bitching in her back about either how she plays, or ventrillo chats that are always teasing girls in the guild rather than just be equal with everyone.

     

    BUT, I agree soo much with the 2nd poster, IT is GUYS that are soooo stupid and are only thinking about humping her leg rather than how/who SHE is. She isn't the best but she isn't the worst, but yea, watever how she played, everyone would know and remember. Every powershot or mistakes. It gets annoying both from some people like you and me and for them

     

    I think that I wouldn't join a guild with the "no chic rule" because my girlfriend couldn't join BUT, i would certainly join a guild that if you mess to much with that it's auto-ban.

     

  • eye_meye_m Notta Chance, ABPosts: 3,133Member Uncommon

    That is a very bias and sexist opinion! If my wife didn't read these forums I would agree with you.

     

    (just kidding. Please don't lock me out of the house.)

     

     

    All of my posts are either intelligent, thought provoking, funny, satirical, sarcastic or intentionally disrespectful. Take your pick.

    I get banned in the forums for games I love, so lets see if I do better in the forums for games I hate.

    I enjoy the serenity of not caring what your opinion is.

  • XAPKenXAPKen Northwest, INPosts: 4,919Member Uncommon

    I've never had much of a problem with female guild members.  Only 2 incidents. One was actually a guy... that got ugly.  The other was a huge fight between the guildmaster and his girlfriend.  That one destroyed the guild.  A shame.


    Ken Fisher - Semi retired old fart Network Administrator, now turned Amateur Game Developer.  I don't Forum PVP.  If you feel I've attacked you, it was probably by accident.  Realm Lords 2 on MMORPG.com
  • alexanys1982alexanys1982 naples, FLPosts: 276Member
    Originally posted by Pouf

    Yes I kinda agree with you, MY gf used to play video game and she stopped, and you are totally right, if she would bail out a raid , most of the time it wouldnt even go without her. She could get gold from anyone in the guild with no problem whenever.

    I had personal "problems" with her, because if she was playing wrong I was immidiately the bad guy for telling her and there was a lot of bitching in her back about either how she plays, or ventrillo chats that are always teasing girls in the guild rather than just be equal with everyone.

     

    BUT, I agree soo much with the 2nd poster, IT is GUYS that are soooo stupid and are only thinking about humping her leg rather than how/who SHE is. She isn't the best but she isn't the worst, but yea, watever how she played, everyone would know and remember. Every powershot or mistakes. It gets annoying both from some people like you and me and for them

     

    I think that I wouldn't join a guild with the "no chic rule" because my girlfriend couldn't join BUT, i would certainly join a guild that if you mess to much with that it's auto-ban.

     

    i tried auto banning members that would not let up, and I saw that i was losing at least 1 person a week. Usually a good MALE player that didnt need any hand holding...I just dont know what to do anymore....

    image
  • MangaMaidenMangaMaiden BirminghamPosts: 180Member
    Originally posted by alexanys1982

    I have to wait around for the female members of my guild to show up to start a raid, regardless if its a healer or not, the other officers simply wont go if its a sausage party.

     

    I have to feel pressured to help them through earlier content and if i dont im seen as the ogre who must be gay because he isnt helping mary sue.

     

    They ask for gold more then any male guild member iv had since DAOC

     

    When its all guys in a guild, theres very very little drama on vent or gchat UNLESS something drops 2 guys want. Lockerroom enviroment, soon as females join people behave differently over vent.

     

    when you DO get one thats skilled at her role, without fail she has  becomes impossible to deal with, think Diana Ross in a room full of nobodys.

     

    This has just been my experience over the last few years when woman have really started to make themselves known, and so far its been mostly negative for me. Anyone have any POSOTIVE stories to share? Cuz im close to throwing up a no chicks allowed sign on my GW2 guild come next month....

     *Stares at thread* I will have to admit I had to laugh, but I think you have really met some princesses in your gaming years!  On the asking for gold bit... I have actually never come across a female gamer to do this, just guys pretending to be one. (But this is going back to my wow days so haven't seen it done recently.)

    As a female gamer I think you shouldn't put up with the snobby girls no matter how much they whine. XD

    Not all of us are annoying just so you know ;3

    image

    image

  • BlackbrrdBlackbrrd KongsbergPosts: 811Member

    I was a member of an AoC guild with some female members (we used vent in raids) and never had an issue with any of them. I asked in chat once for help with a low level dungeon with an alt and it was one of the female players who helped out. My girlfriend is also a gamer, but she mostly pwns noobs in SC:BW, BF3, CS and such.

  • cronius77cronius77 Fairfax, VAPosts: 1,347Member Uncommon

    its like that unfortantly and you can blame guys for babysitting them for this. Ive gotten into it with my girl before because she was causing wipes as a healer , which she chose to play and wasnt skilled at it nor willing to change and learn to play. Though I like playing games with her when it becomes something competitve things turn into arguments and ive just learned now to leave it alone and try to do other things.

    Ive met a few female gamers through-out the years that are highly skilled at playing but they are honestly few and far between. I think this just comes from the genre being a more or less guy thing for years and not being mainstream until wow and other games released. Its funny though because two girls i dated before I met my wife now played games and they both would nerd rage at the computer playing games like DAOC and WOW to the point you would just get up and go watch tv. Now the wife does the same thing even threatening the computer monitor its hilarious. The ones I know at least nerd rage harder then any guys ive knowned in games its quite funny stuff.

  • ZippyZippy NY, NYPosts: 1,412Member
    Originally posted by alexanys1982

    I have to wait around for the female members of my guild to show up to start a raid, regardless if its a healer or not, the other officers simply wont go if its a sausage party.

     

    I have to feel pressured to help them through earlier content and if i dont im seen as the ogre who must be gay because he isnt helping mary sue.

     

    They ask for gold more then any male guild member iv had since DAOC

     

    When its all guys in a guild, theres very very little drama on vent or gchat UNLESS something drops 2 guys want. Lockerroom enviroment, soon as females join people behave differently over vent.

     

    when you DO get one thats skilled at her role, without fail she has  becomes impossible to deal with, think Diana Ross in a room full of nobodys.

     

    This has just been my experience over the last few years when woman have really started to make themselves known, and so far its been mostly negative for me. Anyone have any POSOTIVE stories to share? Cuz im close to throwing up a no chicks allowed sign on my GW2 guild come next month....


    Very strange as my expereinces have been the opposite.  I have always found female raiders to be better team players than their male counterparts.  They have much more empathy, come better prepared, point fingers less, tend to play needed support and healer roles more often, do not have the ego or need for big numbers, are on time more often, are signifigantly mroe mature, miss less raids, and strive to improve more.  In regards to skill level I have seen some very bad female players but then again i have seen the same with male players.  But if I would have to guess I would say as a whole they have a harder time with mechanics but they also try harder to improve than male players.  The learning curvemight be a bit longer but eventually they become as good if not better players.

    I don't want to get into generalizing but I prefer female raiders as their attitudes, teamwork and selfless play is much superior.

    I would ask what kind of guild are you in?  I am guessing it would be more casual, less hardcore and less structured? I would guess the more casual a guild gets the greater tha chance the female player is new to the genre and the more help she will need.  But on the high end of MMO play I think the female player is superior to male players just on attitude alone.

  • FadedbombFadedbomb Aiken, SCPosts: 2,081Member
    Originally posted by alexanys1982
    Originally posted by Pouf

    Yes I kinda agree with you, MY gf used to play video game and she stopped, and you are totally right, if she would bail out a raid , most of the time it wouldnt even go without her. She could get gold from anyone in the guild with no problem whenever.

    I had personal "problems" with her, because if she was playing wrong I was immidiately the bad guy for telling her and there was a lot of bitching in her back about either how she plays, or ventrillo chats that are always teasing girls in the guild rather than just be equal with everyone.

     

    BUT, I agree soo much with the 2nd poster, IT is GUYS that are soooo stupid and are only thinking about humping her leg rather than how/who SHE is. She isn't the best but she isn't the worst, but yea, watever how she played, everyone would know and remember. Every powershot or mistakes. It gets annoying both from some people like you and me and for them

     

    I think that I wouldn't join a guild with the "no chic rule" because my girlfriend couldn't join BUT, i would certainly join a guild that if you mess to much with that it's auto-ban.

     

    i tried auto banning members that would not let up, and I saw that i was losing at least 1 person a week. Usually a good MALE player that didnt need any hand holding...I just dont know what to do anymore....

    Do what I did with my multi-gaming Guild.

    All members are required to pay money back that they borrow, regardless of gender.

    All members that ask for help within the guild for particular content are required to help TWICE as much compared to the help given. In other words, if we help a member with 1 dungeon for a quest they a required to help with 2 other dungeons.

    All members signed up for a raid must be there within 15minutes of the raid starting or lose X amount of DKP for every 5minutes they're late regardless of gender unless the situation is negotiable (flat tire, hospitol, etc). You will be replaced if you're not there within 30minutes of raid start-time, and the raid WILL start without you ON TIME.

     

    Obviously these rules are flexible like for instance if a member wants to just GIVE money away without being asked cool story, no need to pay it back. However, it sounds like the members in your Guild are the issue, and not females specifically.

    Sit down and have a chat with your guild (ie: a major meeting on the weekend at a set time that you setup a week in advance so people can plan around it) and tell them that it's not going to happen anymore or they can leave. Raids start at the listed time, and if the numbers aren't high enough to do said raid try to pickup random guild members for the raid who weren't signed up (assuming you did a signup system).

    Not wanting to do the raid because it's a "sausage fest" is immature, and quite frankly retarded.

     

    It isn't the Female members that are the issue. I've had quite a few bad Male members who have taken the cake in the past for "Worst Member Ever". If you see a behavior you don't like from your members, that so happen to be Female, take them aside and let them know it's not "Ok" to act that way regardless of their gender.

    The Theory of Conservative Conservation of Ignorant Stupidity:
    Having a different opinion must mean you're a troll.

  • alexanys1982alexanys1982 naples, FLPosts: 276Member
    Originally posted by Fadedbomb
    Originally posted by alexanys1982
    Originally posted by Pouf

    Yes I kinda agree with you, MY gf used to play video game and she stopped, and you are totally right, if she would bail out a raid , most of the time it wouldnt even go without her. She could get gold from anyone in the guild with no problem whenever.

    I had personal "problems" with her, because if she was playing wrong I was immidiately the bad guy for telling her and there was a lot of bitching in her back about either how she plays, or ventrillo chats that are always teasing girls in the guild rather than just be equal with everyone.

     

    BUT, I agree soo much with the 2nd poster, IT is GUYS that are soooo stupid and are only thinking about humping her leg rather than how/who SHE is. She isn't the best but she isn't the worst, but yea, watever how she played, everyone would know and remember. Every powershot or mistakes. It gets annoying both from some people like you and me and for them

     

    I think that I wouldn't join a guild with the "no chic rule" because my girlfriend couldn't join BUT, i would certainly join a guild that if you mess to much with that it's auto-ban.

     

    i tried auto banning members that would not let up, and I saw that i was losing at least 1 person a week. Usually a good MALE player that didnt need any hand holding...I just dont know what to do anymore....

    Do what I did with my multi-gaming Guild.

    All members are required to pay money back that they borrow, regardless of gender.

    All members that ask for help within the guild for particular content are required to help TWICE as much compared to the help given. In other words, if we help a member with 1 dungeon for a quest they a required to help with 2 other dungeons.

    All members signed up for a raid must be there within 15minutes of the raid starting or lose X amount of DKP for every 5minutes they're late regardless of gender unless the situation is negotiable (flat tire, hospitol, etc). You will be replaced if you're not there within 30minutes of raid start-time, and the raid WILL start without you ON TIME.

     

    Obviously these rules are flexible like for instance if a member wants to just GIVE money away without being asked cool story, no need to pay it back. However, it sounds like the members in your Guild are the issue, and not females specifically.

    Sit down and have a chat with your guild (ie: a major meeting on the weekend at a set time that you setup a week in advance so people can plan around it) and tell them that it's not going to happen anymore or they can leave. Raids start at the listed time, and if the numbers aren't high enough to do said raid try to pickup random guild members for the raid who weren't signed up (assuming you did a signup system).

    Not wanting to do the raid because it's a "sausage fest" is immature, and quite frankly retarded.

     

    It isn't the Female members that are the issue. I've had quite a few bad Male members who have taken the cake in the past for "Worst Member Ever". If you see a behavior you don't like from your members, that so happen to be Female, take them aside and let them know it's not "Ok" to act that way regardless of their gender.

    you cannot realistically impose these types of rules on a guild, hardcore or not...WoW or EvE...you will be labeled a nazi. I think the only solution is the one i dread the most, I just wont play with them anymore

    image
  • cronius77cronius77 Fairfax, VAPosts: 1,347Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by alexanys1982
    Originally posted by Fadedbomb
    Originally posted by alexanys1982
    Originally posted by Pouf

    Yes I kinda agree with you, MY gf used to play video game and she stopped, and you are totally right, if she would bail out a raid , most of the time it wouldnt even go without her. She could get gold from anyone in the guild with no problem whenever.

    I had personal "problems" with her, because if she was playing wrong I was immidiately the bad guy for telling her and there was a lot of bitching in her back about either how she plays, or ventrillo chats that are always teasing girls in the guild rather than just be equal with everyone.

     

    BUT, I agree soo much with the 2nd poster, IT is GUYS that are soooo stupid and are only thinking about humping her leg rather than how/who SHE is. She isn't the best but she isn't the worst, but yea, watever how she played, everyone would know and remember. Every powershot or mistakes. It gets annoying both from some people like you and me and for them

     

    I think that I wouldn't join a guild with the "no chic rule" because my girlfriend couldn't join BUT, i would certainly join a guild that if you mess to much with that it's auto-ban.

     

    i tried auto banning members that would not let up, and I saw that i was losing at least 1 person a week. Usually a good MALE player that didnt need any hand holding...I just dont know what to do anymore....

    Do what I did with my multi-gaming Guild.

    All members are required to pay money back that they borrow, regardless of gender.

    All members that ask for help within the guild for particular content are required to help TWICE as much compared to the help given. In other words, if we help a member with 1 dungeon for a quest they a required to help with 2 other dungeons.

    All members signed up for a raid must be there within 15minutes of the raid starting or lose X amount of DKP for every 5minutes they're late regardless of gender unless the situation is negotiable (flat tire, hospitol, etc). You will be replaced if you're not there within 30minutes of raid start-time, and the raid WILL start without you ON TIME.

     

    Obviously these rules are flexible like for instance if a member wants to just GIVE money away without being asked cool story, no need to pay it back. However, it sounds like the members in your Guild are the issue, and not females specifically.

    Sit down and have a chat with your guild (ie: a major meeting on the weekend at a set time that you setup a week in advance so people can plan around it) and tell them that it's not going to happen anymore or they can leave. Raids start at the listed time, and if the numbers aren't high enough to do said raid try to pickup random guild members for the raid who weren't signed up (assuming you did a signup system).

    Not wanting to do the raid because it's a "sausage fest" is immature, and quite frankly retarded.

     

    It isn't the Female members that are the issue. I've had quite a few bad Male members who have taken the cake in the past for "Worst Member Ever". If you see a behavior you don't like from your members, that so happen to be Female, take them aside and let them know it's not "Ok" to act that way regardless of their gender.

    you cannot realistically impose these types of rules on a guild, hardcore or not...WoW or EvE...you will be labeled a nazi. I think the only solution is the one i dread the most, I just wont play with them anymore

    lol how cant you impose those rules those are common for any raiding guild or any hardcore guilds out there large or small.  People tell you they are coming to something then not show up yet want to keep their spot over other people , you have to make rules for people . Maybe you just havent been a guild leader of a large guild yet , if you were you would know exactly where hes coming from because trolls all the time try to get in your guild and use you for power levels , borrowing money, guild bank access, etc you have to make rules and draw the line someplace so that the few bad apples you get end up leaving .

  • troublmakertroublmaker St. George''s, NFPosts: 337Member

    Sounds ilke the problem in your guild is more the guys and less the girls.  If the girls are consistently late they shouldn't be raiding and should be replaced.  If the guys in your guild can't see that then idk what you can do about it other than.... quit.

    Website: http://www.thegameguru.me / YouTube:

  • just1opinionjust1opinion Kansas City, MOPosts: 4,844Member

     

    To the OP....

    You're judging an entire gender by the poor behavior of the ones you've happended to encounter.  Have you had NO genuinely GOOD encounters with women?  And if not.....I think if it were me, I'd start wondering what was wrong with ME then, not them.

     

    Generalizations are always incorrect by a percentage....sometimes that is a large percentage.  It's best just to avoid over-generalizing.

     

    I hope you meet some of the REST of the female gender in GW2. 

    President of The Marvelously Meowhead Fan Club

  • MurashuMurashu Ft Rucker, ALPosts: 1,394Member

    I've been in guilds with females since UO and the majority of the time, they are not the ones causing the problems. Most females hate to be treated differently than males. They hate how people change subjects or change the way they talk when a female logs onto vent. They are typically harder on themselves because they know they are treated differently.

     

    Have you tried talking to the other officers of your guild? It sounds like you have extremely immature officers if "the other officers simply wont go if its a sausage party." If your guild leadership is that weak, it's no wonder you are having issues.

    www.agonysend.org

  • MedsiMedsi Montreal, QCPosts: 23Member
    Originally posted by just1opinion

     To the OP....You're judging an entire gender by the poor behavior of the ones you've happended to encounter.  Have you had NO genuinely GOOD encounters with women?  And if not.....I think if it were me, I'd start wondering what was wrong with ME then, not them. Generalizations are always incorrect by a percentage....sometimes that is a large percentage.  It's best just to avoid over-generalizing. I hope you meet some of the REST of the female gender in GW2. 

     

    I was going to speak my mind, but this more or less sums up my thoughts and is far more diplomatic than I was going to be. Well said ...
  • Creslin321Creslin321 Baltimore, MDPosts: 5,359Member

    This may blow some minds but...

    Men and women both share the main factor at fault for being annoying or hard to understand...they are both human.

    I've dealt with both men and women who were terrible, and men and women who were awesome.  I know it's popular to say things like "men are impossible" or "I'll never understand women."  But what this really means is..."I will never understand that person."  It's not like women are one basic entity, and then once you understand one, you know um all...they are all individuals, and some may indeed be incomprehensible.

    Also...if relationships really had problems because the genders just can't "understand" each other...then every gay relationship would be perfect...and I'm guessing that's not the case ;).

    Are you team Azeroth, team Tyria, or team Jacob?

  • AlBQuirkyAlBQuirky Sioux City, IAPosts: 3,828Member


    Originally posted by eyelolled
    That is a very bias and sexist opinion! If my wife didn't read these forums I would agree with you.

    (just kidding. Please don't lock me out of the house.)


    ROTFLMAO Good one :)

    When males and females get together the dynamics change. Most of the time, it is the males who act atrociously, but there are times when a female will start drama for drama's sake.

    Types of males playing games:

    • Neanderthals - The ones who say the most inappropriate things.
    • Paladins - The defenders and think women are weak, thus needing (or wanting) their protection.
    • Sexists - No respect for how a player plays rather than what is between their legs.
    • Gamers - Just want to play the game.

    Types of women playing games:

    • Drama Queens - Those that like to cause drama, for whatever reason.
    • Manipulators - Users of their feminine wiles for any advantage. Main target is the "Paladin".
    • Provers - Must prove they are just one of the boys. Can fart and belch with the best of them. Usually has a chip (boulder?) on their shoulder, daring someone to knock it off.
    • Gamers - Just want to play the game.

    I am sure I missed some stereotypes. It is not something one can blame solely on one gender or another, but when the two genders get together, drama is bound to take place.

    - Al

    Personally the only modern MMORPG trend that annoys me is the idea that MMOs need to be designed in a way to attract people who don't actually like MMOs. Which to me makes about as much sense as someone trying to figure out a way to get vegetarians to eat at their steakhouse.
    - FARGIN_WAR

  • HrimnirHrimnir Qeynos, COPosts: 1,597Member Uncommon

    I wonder how much culture/country plays into it as well.  I know in the aussie guilds i was in the chicks were cool as hell, never bitched or played the girl card, and gave as hard as they got.

    Maybe its me, but i just believe that a lot of it also stems from the fact that in the US we raise our daughters to believe they're all beautiful uniques princesses and that they deserve a knight on a white horse and that nothing is good enough for them.

    Im not saying all US girls are like this, but a damn lot are.

    "The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."

    - Friedrich Nietzsche

  • The_KorriganThe_Korrigan EastPosts: 2,630Member

    Women are often way more pleasant gamers than males, they have less tendancy to let their testosterone talk instead of their brain. Otherwise, you have just has many immatures and idiots in both sexes.

    If you wonder why I don't answer your posts, it's most likely because you are on my block list - so don't waste your time.

    image

  • alexanys1982alexanys1982 naples, FLPosts: 276Member
    Originally posted by just1opinion

     

    To the OP....

    You're judging an entire gender by the poor behavior of the ones you've happended to encounter.  Have you had NO genuinely GOOD encounters with women?  And if not.....I think if it were me, I'd start wondering what was wrong with ME then, not them.

     

    Generalizations are always incorrect by a percentage....sometimes that is a large percentage.  It's best just to avoid over-generalizing.

     

    I hope you meet some of the REST of the female gender in GW2. 

    fyi im married, happily even since I see where your going with that tone.

    Also, I love having both genders around, but from a guild/gaming/mmo perspective its more trouble then its worth by leaps and bounds.

    image
  • AmanaAmana New York, NYPosts: 2,552Moderator Uncommon

    This isn't generally going anywhere good. This is venting (in a potentially offensive manner) more than really presenting the forum with a discussion topic. 

    To give feedback on moderation, contact community@mmorpg.com

This discussion has been closed.