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The Secret World: The Secret Paranoia

SBFordSBFord Associate Editor - News ManagerThe Land of AZPosts: 16,659MMORPG.COM Staff Uncommon

Today marks the debut of a brand new column here at MMORPG.com. Penned by our own 'Scary Booster', today's column takes a look at The Secret World specifically and the whole zombie phenomenon in general. Check it out!

With the launch of The Secret World this week, I’m feeling a bit paranoid. It’s not only the fact that we are all being watched by secret societies we don’t know about, it’s all the weird zombie mutations I’ve never thought possible. The days of slow stupid zombies are over. Nowadays, we have crazy zombie that take vacations and long baths in bath salts. They get out of the bath all naked and chew your face off under a bridge smelling like rose petals.

At least their skin is silky smooth.

Read more of Scary Booster's Very Scary: The Secret Paranoia.

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Associate Editor: MMORPG.com
Follow me on Twitter: @MMORPGMom

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Comments

  • LongoraxLongorax TettauPosts: 2Member

    I just realized that Jeff Strain from Undead Labs already looks lik Tommy Lee Jones. Maybe he is developing lap dancing zombies for private needs?! Regarding the Zombies in The Secret World I wonder how many adjectives a Zombie must have to get even more menacing.

  • ZarriyaZarriya Long Island, NYPosts: 288Member Uncommon

    lol nice read :)

     

  • vtannahillvtannahill Corona, CAPosts: 3Member

    WTF does this article have to do with MMO's?

  • ShamorauShamorau melbournePosts: 173Member Uncommon

    team up with some guy called Tallahassee

     

    zombie kill of the week?

  • bcbullybcbully Westland, MIPosts: 8,284Member Uncommon

    good stuff :)

  • XAPKenXAPKen Northwest, INPosts: 4,941Member Uncommon

    Zombies?  No problem.  After going through ex-wife and mother in law, anything else is cake.


    Ken Fisher - Semi retired old fart Network Administrator, now turned Amateur Game Developer.  I don't Forum PVP.  If you feel I've attacked you, it was probably by accident.  Realm Lords 2 on MMORPG.com
  • FreezzoFreezzo EnschedePosts: 235Member

    What's all this obsession with zombies anyway? I don't get it :|

    "We need men who can dream of things that never were." - John F. Kennedy
    And for MMORPGs ever so true...

  • cronius77cronius77 Fairfax, VAPosts: 1,355Member Uncommon

    the walking dead came out on television and now everyone wants to be a zombie fan and a cowboy. No one respects or pays tribute to the old really scary zombies from george remero anymore. Where poltics bigitry and racism were also part of the orginal plot and the zombie was just the third faction. Those movies taught you the real evils in the world were not the zombies but everyone else. now its all about some fast running zombies in an all out action movie or game instead of making an actual plot.

  • negativf4kknegativf4kk WorthingPosts: 377Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by cronius77

    the walking dead came out on television and now everyone wants to be a zombie fan and a cowboy. No one respects or pays tribute to the old really scary zombies from george remero anymore. Where poltics bigitry and racism were also part of the orginal plot and the zombie was just the third faction. Those movies taught you the real evils in the world were not the zombies but everyone else. now its all about some fast running zombies in an all out action movie or game instead of making an actual plot.

    Well games r meant to relax and entertain, not to solve eternal puzzle of life.

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  • ZooceZooce B, FLPosts: 586Member

    Good luck with this column.  I liked the cameo of zombie Tommy from the beaches of Kingsmouth, and the Katie Holmes stalking but not much else.  Too many references and not enough MMO for my tastes.

  • Xstatic912Xstatic912 New York, NYPosts: 365Member
    @ negativf4kk & Zooce

    Well said... The undead thingy and real world references has gotten old.. Having maxed the skill wheel out, this game got old fast and the build I have in my mind still wasn't possible (maybe it's because of the limited number of skill slots...)
  • Agent_JosephAgent_Joseph SarajevoPosts: 1,070Member Uncommon
    Originally posted by vtannahill

    WTF does this article have to do with MMO's?

    zombies invanding MMO market !

    OMFG they  incoming...omfg

    only EVE is real MMO...but I am impressive with TSW

  • zellmerzellmer Fakesville, WIPosts: 442Member

    Especially secret world where everybody looks the god damn same so they can make money off of their cash shop built into the game..

    What the hell is the point of this..

     

  • kingsatanaskingsatanas quebec, QCPosts: 31Member

    i feel like playing a 1/2 game or a beta....... dont think this game gonna pass the 6month. almost 1month released and everyone are alrdy in end game content ( 16hrs cd on instance bye bye close the game and be back after cd)

     

  • TardcoreTardcore MinskPosts: 2,325Member

    First rule in fighting zombies: Always bring a friend.

    That way if things go wrong you don't have to outrun the zombies, you just have to outrun your friend.

     

    Also now that zombies have gone mainstream, any bets on how log it will be before we see angst ridden, sthparkly zombies who like to have tea with frigid young women and discuss their "feewings"?

    image

    "Gypsies, tramps, and thieves, we were called by the Admin of the site . . . "

  • blackhawkzzblackhawkzz BirminghamPosts: 53Member
    Originally posted by zellmer

    Especially secret world where everybody looks the god damn same so they can make money off of their cash shop built into the game..

    What the hell is the point of this..

     


    No one looks the same, theres tons of clothing options available ingame and for rewards from missions and completing achivements ingame and next month the new character customisation will be coming with a barber shop and plastic surgeon in the main city hubs. The start of this can be already seen with building work going on in new york for the plastic surgeon clinic and the barber shop in london.

     

    kingsatanas point about reaching endgame in a month, players have been in closed beta for close to a year now and with that inside information can quite easily rush straight to endgame and not enjoy all the content the game has to offer. For an average gamer starting the game from fresh it would probly take 2-3 months to complete the skillwheel and get epic quality level gear from nightmare dungeons not even including the epic signets from outdoor lairs which are a mammoth task to get.

     

    With the game adding new zones within 2-3 months of launch I can't see how they can go wrong including the fact of monthly mission packs on top of that. Also the addition of new auxillary weapons are coming with these new zones adding more depth to the combat and most people won't have even finished the skill wheel and gathered the top level of gear in the game before this content addition.

     
     
  • SCZekeSCZeke Sunshine CoastPosts: 23Member Uncommon

    Good fun read, TSW is great!

  • TheeRiverTheeRiver Tinley Park, ILPosts: 2Member

    If I kicked a Zombie in the nuts would it hurt?

  • ThemePorkThemePork Boston, MAPosts: 312Member
    Originally posted by TheeRiver

    If I kicked a Zombie in the nuts would it hurt?

    If you're bare foot and he's wearing a studded chastity belt...maybe.

  • KonfessKonfess Dallas, TXPosts: 956Member Uncommon

    A: 42
    Q: What is the perfect number of biscuits (cookies) to bring for lunch?

    I find those two line more entertaining than the entirety of this article.  Lets bully the old and just about everybody else that reads this site, and hid it behind the Zombie Apocalypse?

    Pardon any spelling errors
    Konfess your cyns and some maybe forgiven
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    As if it could exist, without being payed for.
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