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General: Every Guild Member Ever

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  • jonrd463jonrd463 Member UncommonPosts: 607

    Two things-

    1. If you're offended by any of those AS THEY RELATE TO PERSONALITIES IN THE GAME, my bet is that you're one of them and in serious denial.

    2. If you're offended by the allusion to spousal abuse, you really need a sense of humor. OF COURSE real, honest to God spousal abuse is abhorrent, but getting offended by it's use as an intentionally exaggerated metaphor that describes behavior that is very similar to battered wife syndrome just smacks of a real need to turn off the "I MUST BE OFFENDED BY SOMETHING TODAY!" reflex people seem to be born with lately.

    "You'll never win an argument with an idiot because he is too stupid to recognize his own defeat." ~Anonymous

  • JackyD30JackyD30 Member Posts: 20

    I used to be the Neo/Doogie Howser guildie, although I'm closing in on my 32. But lately I have turned into the Guy on the Couch mostly because I'm fed up into what most MMO's communities have turned into.

  • HluillHluill Member UncommonPosts: 161

    I've been the Loader and the Guy on the Couch.  Right now I fluctuate between the Jilted Lover and the Battered Housewife.

    And yes, spousal abuse is a serious thing.  Labeling the victim as an enabler dosen't condone assault, but it asks the question: "Why the F@#* do you keep putting up with it?"

    TSW, LotRO, EQ2, SWTOR, GW2, V:SoH, Neverwinter, ArchAge, EQ, UO, DAoC, WAR, DDO, AoC, MO, BDO, SotA, B&S, ESO, 

  • SilverbranchSilverbranch Member UncommonPosts: 195

    The Helper - That person who's always helping people, particularly new players to the guild, selflessly giving gear, gold, items, advice, and escort duties, even if you suspect the "newb" is an old player levelling a new alt you'll find The Helper happily making a "noobs" life easier.

    The Crafter - Questing, killing, all are sidelines.  The Crafter will happily immerse themselves into every aspect of Gathering and Crafting imaginable, slowly building a stockpile of mats, and levelling all aspects of Crafting.  This occurs through freqent gankings (if on a PvP server) by Red Tags who laugh away at the NOOB in crappy gear running around the zone.  Right up until the day The Crafter has mastered it all and actually starts to craft gear for themselves out of the best recipes available and equips themselves with M1A1 Abram's Chobham Armor, machine guns, helmet mounted swivelly Death Ray mods, and Red Seeking Firball Shoulder Launchers.

    Wherever you go, there you are.

  • jayartejayarte Member UncommonPosts: 450

    image

    **NOTE** We know that spousal abuse is a very real and very serious thing that we in no way condone. We are of the unshakeable belief that if you are going to beat a woman, you do it before you marry them, as anything else is inexcusable. Kicking and some types of elbow strike are permitted when applicable. **ENDNOTE**

    Using asterisks, italics, and NOTE/ENDNOTE in caps is a bit like those people who double park and turn on their hazard warning lights to say they're not really doing anything wrong.

     

    There is nothing faintly amusing about any kind of abuse, that's kind of apparent from the word itself.  Why do you think it's acceptable to joke about "beating" a woman before you marry her?  Or "kicking" and using "elbow strikes"?  Where the hell is the humour in violence?  If your mother/sister/daughter is beaten by a man, will you find something in the situation to laugh at?

    And to use that picture, which is deeply disturbing, in an article which is supposed to be humourous, beggars belief.

  • jonrd463jonrd463 Member UncommonPosts: 607

    Okay, I'll bite. My sister got beat up by an ex-boyfriend many years ago. The guy was a real dirtbag and deserved the asskicking he got by myself, my brother, and two of our friends. We sent him to the hospital.

    In no way whatsoever do I connect the use of spousal/domestic/girlfriend abuse in a metaphor to what happened to my sister. In no way do I relate that to people who love crappy games to a fault, besides the clear similarity between "But the game will get better, you'll see!" and "He doesn't mean to do it. He really loves me!"

    Honestly, to hypersensitivity to this sort of thing is ridiculous. Want to fight spousal abuse? Get proactive with organizations that help the victims, or maybe become some kind of vigilante to mete justice upon the perpetrators. Just please, whatever you do, don't try to bring everyone else down to your level of hypersensitivity.

    It used to be that a hallmark of good comedy is that someone, somewhere is going to be offended by it. Now it seems to be a roadblock.

    "You'll never win an argument with an idiot because he is too stupid to recognize his own defeat." ~Anonymous

  • jayartejayarte Member UncommonPosts: 450

    Originally posted by jonrd463

    Okay, I'll bite. My sister got beat up by an ex-boyfriend many years ago. The guy was a real dirtbag and deserved the asskicking he got by myself, my brother, and two of our friends. We sent him to the hospital.

    In no way whatsoever do I connect the use of spousal/domestic/girlfriend abuse in a metaphor to what happened to my sister. In no way do I relate that to people who love crappy games to a fault, besides the clear similarity between "But the game will get better, you'll see!" and "He doesn't mean to do it. He really loves me!"

    Honestly, to hypersensitivity to this sort of thing is ridiculous. Want to fight spousal abuse? Get proactive with organizations that help the victims, or maybe become some kind of vigilante to mete justice upon the perpetrators. Just please, whatever you do, don't try to bring everyone else down to your level of hypersensitivity.

    It used to be that a hallmark of good comedy is that someone, somewhere is going to be offended by it. Now it seems to be a roadblock.

    "Hypersensitivity"?  Did you find anything amusing in your sister being beaten up?  Do you find anything amusing in anyone being beaten up, for that matter?  Sorry, I've always been this way, even as a child I found it impossible to find the humour in "jokes" which involve cruelty/violence/stereotyping. 

    It's not a "holier than thou" attitude, believe me, it's just that I literally don't find it funny and can't understand why people do.

     

    p.s.  I wouldn't want other people to react the way I do, it's not much fun being acutely sensitive (huge understatement), but it's a shame you see my post as an attempt to "bring everyone else down to [my] level of hypersensitivity". 

  • SulaSula Member Posts: 17

    Where's The Stoner? Or the guy who always stuffs the mic in his pants every time he farts? What kind of a carebear guild are you hanging out with?

  • jonrd463jonrd463 Member UncommonPosts: 607

    Originally posted by jayarte

    Originally posted by jonrd463

    Okay, I'll bite. My sister got beat up by an ex-boyfriend many years ago. The guy was a real dirtbag and deserved the asskicking he got by myself, my brother, and two of our friends. We sent him to the hospital.

    In no way whatsoever do I connect the use of spousal/domestic/girlfriend abuse in a metaphor to what happened to my sister. In no way do I relate that to people who love crappy games to a fault, besides the clear similarity between "But the game will get better, you'll see!" and "He doesn't mean to do it. He really loves me!"

    Honestly, to hypersensitivity to this sort of thing is ridiculous. Want to fight spousal abuse? Get proactive with organizations that help the victims, or maybe become some kind of vigilante to mete justice upon the perpetrators. Just please, whatever you do, don't try to bring everyone else down to your level of hypersensitivity.

    It used to be that a hallmark of good comedy is that someone, somewhere is going to be offended by it. Now it seems to be a roadblock.

    "Hypersensitivity"?  Did you find anything amusing in your sister being beaten up?  Do you find anything amusing in anyone being beaten up, for that matter?  Sorry, I've always been this way, even as a child I found it impossible to find the humour in "jokes" which involve cruelty/violence/stereotyping. 

    It's not a "holier than thou" attitude, believe me, it's just that I literally don't find it funny and can't understand why people do.

     

    p.s.  I wouldn't want other people to react the way I do, it's not much fun being acutely sensitive (huge understatement), but it's a shame you see my post as an attempt to "bring everyone else down to [my] level of hypersensitivity". 


     



    No, I don't find anything amusing about my sister getting beat up, but I don't connect that event to every mention of abuse, regardless of context. Now, if we were talking about MMO players who beat their spouse because of game time interruptions or something like that, I'd be first in line with a baseball bat to give the jerk a little medicine. But we're not talking about that, are we?

    Hypersensitivity was perhaps too strong a word. Of course people should be vigilant about actual cases of abuse, but that doesn't mean you can't borrow a word as an overexaggeration for emphasis. For example, it's common to see people say they "raped someone/ got raped by someone" in a game to emphasize the fact that they either beat or got beaten by someone in some form of competition in a major way, but that doesn't mean they've suddenly nullified the severity of the actual, honest to goodness crime of forced sexual assault on a real person.

    It's all about seperating the real from the allegorical. If you (and by "you", I mean people in general) can't do that, then... well, oversensitivity and even hypersensitivity is going to be the norm.

    Bottom line? Relax. It's a joke.

    "You'll never win an argument with an idiot because he is too stupid to recognize his own defeat." ~Anonymous

  • LooleeLoolee Member Posts: 5

    Originally posted by jayarte

    There is nothing faintly amusing about any kind of abuse, 


     

    Apparently, you've never seen the Three Stooges. 

  • CursedseiCursedsei Member Posts: 1,012

    Originally posted by Loolee



    Originally posted by jayarte

    There is nothing faintly amusing about any kind of abuse, 






     

    Apparently, you've never seen the Three Stooges. 

    Granted, that's a subset of comedy called "slapstick", and its different than what Jayarte had an issue with, but Jonrd has pretty much said what I was thinking best.

    I've never had a sibling or loved one beat by their spouses, thank god, because frankly like he said he did, I'd be all over that guy like a couple of mafia-types on the legs of a guy who owes them money. And while I can see Jay's point, they lost me when they decided to claim Jon found it humorous what happened to his sister, its one thing to assume someone finds humour in abusive relationships, but its a whole other ballpark when you try and make it a kind of personal attack like that.

     

    End point, it was a shock joke, that's it. It was meant to cause some response even if the other jokes fell flat, and obviously it worked. And the thing about shock jokes is that they only work once (per article), hence why it's the ONLY one on the list. Maybe the picture was a bit much, but that's at the discretion of the article writer and site owners to decide.

     

    But hey, if they have an issue with "battered housewife", we could always call them "The Stockholmers"!

  • AcmegamerAcmegamer Member UncommonPosts: 337

    LOL!!!!! I just love your articles. Please please keep writing them, I share them with my wife every time I see one posted. Freaking hilarous.

     

     

  • AcmegamerAcmegamer Member UncommonPosts: 337

    Originally posted by Ikeda

    I dunno.  I always feel like the Guy on the Couch.  I don't socially interact with people in my guild, I'm always around, and I'm always paying attention.  I use tidbits discussed in guild chat to identify people but more or less I just exist there.

    I kind of enjoy just being a name that randomly talks to people though.

     

        I tend to fall under  "the guy on couch" catergory as well. I have a knack for remembering odd tidbits about people and random facts tied into being a bit of a "Neo" as well. So I think I do have some of those "how did he know that about me!" moments with players at times. I dont ask these things, the info just falls into my lap and I tend not to forget it. I'm the same way about music triva and movie trivia as well. I'd rather have a different knack!

  • AcmegamerAcmegamer Member UncommonPosts: 337

    Originally posted by Silverbranch

    The Helper - That person who's always helping people, particularly new players to the guild, selflessly giving gear, gold, items, advice, and escort duties, even if you suspect the "newb" is an old player levelling a new alt you'll find The Helper happily making a "noobs" life easier.

    The Crafter - Questing, killing, all are sidelines.  The Crafter will happily immerse themselves into every aspect of Gathering and Crafting imaginable, slowly building a stockpile of mats, and levelling all aspects of Crafting.  This occurs through freqent gankings (if on a PvP server) by Red Tags who laugh away at the NOOB in crappy gear running around the zone.  Right up until the day The Crafter has mastered it all and actually starts to craft gear for themselves out of the best recipes available and equips themselves with M1A1 Abram's Chobham Armor, machine guns, helmet mounted swivelly Death Ray mods, and Red Seeking Firball Shoulder Launchers.

     

       Great one Silverbranch! +1. :) 

  • GilcroixGilcroix Member UncommonPosts: 262

    Originally posted by AcmeGamer

    Originally posted by Silverbranch

    The Helper - That person who's always helping people, particularly new players to the guild, selflessly giving gear, gold, items, advice, and escort duties, even if you suspect the "newb" is an old player levelling a new alt you'll find The Helper happily making a "noobs" life easier.

    The Crafter - Questing, killing, all are sidelines.  The Crafter will happily immerse themselves into every aspect of Gathering and Crafting imaginable, slowly building a stockpile of mats, and levelling all aspects of Crafting.  This occurs through freqent gankings (if on a PvP server) by Red Tags who laugh away at the NOOB in crappy gear running around the zone.  Right up until the day The Crafter has mastered it all and actually starts to craft gear for themselves out of the best recipes available and equips themselves with M1A1 Abram's Chobham Armor, machine guns, helmet mounted swivelly Death Ray mods, and Red Seeking Firball Shoulder Launchers.

     

       Great one Silverbranch! +1. :) 

     Agreed nice ones Silverbranch. Although i have been Neo a few times. These 2 together probably describe me best. Within an hour of joining any guild i'm in your bound to be getting mail from me with crafted gear in it. Then for as long as you are in the guild you will randomly just keep getting crafted stuff sent to you. Whether you want or need it is of no consequence, and don't try to mail it back because i wont accept it. Mats are taking up all my bank space on every character i have. I also won't accept payment from anyone in my guild, which pretty much guarantees i am the poorest crafter on the server. On the plus side i also probably get to craft more items than anyone on the server.image

  • hotixhotix Member UncommonPosts: 130

    None of this applies if you're in a pvp guild that is good. Exception the poorly played girl gamer. But these players tend to heal because the stress of actually having to hurt someone is to great for their smaller female brains to handle. 

    Also if you get in a guild that has been established for years, or stick with the same guild these roles tend to be non-existant as well.

  • EpicentEpicent Member UncommonPosts: 648

    Originally posted by black_isle

    I lol'ed at Neo; "Even if there is a server crash and you quickly log back in, he’s still there" LOL.

    But domestic violence thing is very offensive and uncalled for, it needs to go.




     

    or you could stop getting offended for stupid crap.

  • FierytexFierytex Member Posts: 20

    I love your articles, and usually laugh till I cry as I did in this one esp about the 11yr old; however, when you know a young woman who was beaten to death (Capital murder) by her spouse, it just isn't funny.  Many people get that it was an attempt to be humorous--I get that, but there are somethings about which it is more important to be human than humorous. 

    I will still read your articles, love the humor, I just hope you try to exercise better judgment next time.













     










     




     

  • liadzliadz Member Posts: 35

    Hey, politically correct enforcement party! Give us a break!

    Thanks to guys like you all humor tv shows in my country are now about girls showing their asses. Not that it is bad or anything, but they are just not funny anymore.

    image

  • MadimorgaMadimorga Member UncommonPosts: 1,920

    Omg, I'm a Phil.

     

    Guess it beats being a Sarlaac pit.

     

    And what are those monstrosities in the first photo?  Are those supposed to be raid trash mobs or something?

    image

    I am convinced there is only one way to eliminate these grave evils, namely through the establishment of a socialist economy, accompanied by an educational system which would be oriented toward social goals.

    ~Albert Einstein

  • MMOarQQMMOarQQ Member Posts: 636

    I can't fault this guy one bit for wanting some time away from this community.

  • almagillalmagill Member Posts: 279

    Got to love these columns, the comments remind me of why I hate being in any sort of guild ever.

     

    *********************
    So, you all sat in camps and that was fun?
    *********************

  • TyrokiTyroki Member UncommonPosts: 183

    Where has Coyote gone? =( I miss his column.

    MMO's played: Ragnarok Online (For years), WoW (for a few weeks only), Guild Wars, Lineage 2, Eve, Allods, Shattered Galaxy, 9 Dragons, City of Heroes, City of Villains, Star Trek Online (Got someone ELSE to pay for it), Champions Online (Someone else paid), Dofus, Dragonica, LOTRO, DDO and more... A LOT more. I've played good AND bad. The bad didn't last long. :P

  • skapunker21skapunker21 Member UncommonPosts: 7

    I also miss Coyote.  The hope of seeing a new article of his is the only reason i still come to this site.

  • taoofjestertaoofjester Member Posts: 19
    Come back to us! Or tell us where you went...
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