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Psychology: why equal women don't ask men out on dates

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  • RobgmurRobgmur All over, ORPosts: 322Member

    Originally posted by deviliscious

    Originally posted by Praetoriani

    Originally posted by deviliscious

    Originally posted by generals3

    Originally posted by deviliscious

     

    Traditonally, in my culture, The women were in charge of economy, business, home and family.  There was not a problem of the household not being attended to, because women conducted business from their homes. It is a design flaw in your society that requires women to work outside the home that is the problem there, not that women should not conduct business. No offense but the system you refer to cannot work, period. Only menial tasks can be performed from your house. You can't go have business meetings at your home, personal contact is needed. And most jobs simply cannot in any conceivable ways be performed in your home. You can't be a cop, soldier, construction worker, manager , etc. from your home, you need to be on the field, period.

      It is refreshing though to see that your" advanced civilization", has now been progressing forward to the " work at home mom" and shifting in regards to more home based businesses, which I personally consider the advanced model, that the tribes were using for thousands of years that your society is finally catching up with.

    You can only do so much from your home and even for tasks you do at home at one point or an other you'll need to go somewhere else (you work on a project at home and than you'll need to present it , maybe to multiple people, maybe than need to revise it , cooperate with others which could be much easier if you're all in the same room, etc.)

    I would also like to add that having some part time job you can do at home while taking care of said home doesn't disturb me in the least. My concern lies with partners who think it's more important to prove they are "emancipated feminists" rather than actually ensuring the home is well taken care off. (no i don't believe in daycare centers and alike)

    Women are more subtle in their ways to let a man know she is interested. We talk with our eyes. Men have cued into this over the generations and know what " the look" means. 

    I suck at body language, so you can do whatever you want with your eyes, i won't see it (and i'm fairly certain there are many like me). Unless you're crying or have eyes that look like you didn't sleep for 2 days your eyes say nothing to me.

     

     

     

     

    Of course all jobs do not allow for you to work from home, but many do. Women do not always have small children to attend to at home either.  Your views on who can do a job better are quite narrowminded as well, considering women are proven  far superior at multitasking then men, it does not surprise me you would not understand that concept and see that women should only specialize because that is how men function.

     

    No, they are not better at multitasking than men. For every sensationalist story that hits the news, there are ten peer-reviewed research articles with a substantial sample group from reputable cognitive psychologists and neurologists that usually prove the exact opposite. 

    New studies have proven that in fact men and women think different, our brains ARE different, and that we use different parts of the brain to process information.  With the advancments in technology, we are really starting to be able to understand these things better than in the past.  Women and men use different parts of their brains in different ways, as well as there being distinctive differences in the actual physical aspects to the male and female brain.  Much progress is being made in this area in recent years,  and yes, we are in fact " wired" differently.

     Wait, so besides men having penises and women having vaginas.. there are MORE differences?  I ought to slap my 4th grade teacher.

    ..  


    And as for the Home cleaning thing, that strictly just depends on the person. Male OR female I have seen both be very clean to the level of OCD and the same goes for being completely trashy. However, I like to keep my place very clean and fresh, fold all clothes and keep the sink empty.

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  • PraetorianiPraetoriani AmsterdamPosts: 1,147Member

    Originally posted by deviliscious

    Originally posted by Praetoriani


    Originally posted by deviliscious


    Originally posted by generals3


    Originally posted by deviliscious


     

    Traditonally, in my culture, The women were in charge of economy, business, home and family.  There was not a problem of the household not being attended to, because women conducted business from their homes. It is a design flaw in your society that requires women to work outside the home that is the problem there, not that women should not conduct business. No offense but the system you refer to cannot work, period. Only menial tasks can be performed from your house. You can't go have business meetings at your home, personal contact is needed. And most jobs simply cannot in any conceivable ways be performed in your home. You can't be a cop, soldier, construction worker, manager , etc. from your home, you need to be on the field, period.

      It is refreshing though to see that your" advanced civilization", has now been progressing forward to the " work at home mom" and shifting in regards to more home based businesses, which I personally consider the advanced model, that the tribes were using for thousands of years that your society is finally catching up with.

    You can only do so much from your home and even for tasks you do at home at one point or an other you'll need to go somewhere else (you work on a project at home and than you'll need to present it , maybe to multiple people, maybe than need to revise it , cooperate with others which could be much easier if you're all in the same room, etc.)

    I would also like to add that having some part time job you can do at home while taking care of said home doesn't disturb me in the least. My concern lies with partners who think it's more important to prove they are "emancipated feminists" rather than actually ensuring the home is well taken care off. (no i don't believe in daycare centers and alike)

    Women are more subtle in their ways to let a man know she is interested. We talk with our eyes. Men have cued into this over the generations and know what " the look" means. 

    I suck at body language, so you can do whatever you want with your eyes, i won't see it (and i'm fairly certain there are many like me). Unless you're crying or have eyes that look like you didn't sleep for 2 days your eyes say nothing to me.

     

     

     

     

    Of course all jobs do not allow for you to work from home, but many do. Women do not always have small children to attend to at home either.  Your views on who can do a job better are quite narrowminded as well, considering women are proven  far superior at multitasking then men, it does not surprise me you would not understand that concept and see that women should only specialize because that is how men function.

     

    No, they are not better at multitasking than men. For every sensationalist story that hits the news, there are ten peer-reviewed research articles with a substantial sample group from reputable cognitive psychologists and neurologists that usually prove the exact opposite. 

    New studies have proven that in fact men and women think different, our brains ARE different, and that we use different parts of the brain to process information.  With the advancments in technology, we are really starting to be able to understand these things better than in the past.  Women and men use different parts of their brains in different ways, as well as there being distinctive differences in the actual physical aspects to the male and female brain.  Much progress is being made in this area in recent years,  and yes, we are in fact " wired" differently.

    I know. I have a degree in neuropsychology. I was not refuting that there is a difference between men and women, I was refuting that women are better at multitasking given the wealth of studies about it. The only generalisations we can easily make is that men are better at spatial thinking and the logic associated with mathematics, whereas women have (on average) better verbal qualities. Note; these are generalisations and say nothing about individuals. Chomsky is a fantastic linguist whereas Marie Curie was a brilliant phycisist. 

    Of course, there are more differences. But you can look those up in any textbook on biological psychology. 

  • generals3generals3 MehPosts: 3,307Member

    Originally posted by deviliscious

    Overseeing is not  one task,  not at all. It requires you take on many tasks at the same time to be able to properly handle the situations that arise.  You must be able to see the details and the whole picture in order to be able to determine the best course of action by weighing the pros and cons quickly and being able to make an informed decision and be capable  acting on it in an appropriate and timely manner. Many things are considered with this, not just one, otherwise you make a poor supervisor. 

    I disagree that you must be present to check the order, by preordering samples and  using our video capabilities that  now allow for you to do just about anything remotely.  Bargaining  is also done in this way as well, but moreso along the lines of bidding on pallets and such, or negotiating quantity prices directly from the manufacturer. We still communicate verbally and  there is no reason to do this in person anymore, as we can now accomplish these things without having to fly to Hong Kong.

    I completely disagree about the necessity of being onsite to conduct business, and see that as a waste of resource, time and money. It is an unecessary expenditure that slows down transactions and decreases profits rather than increases them.

     

    First i think we have a misunderstanding on what is one task and what is not. All these things you describe belong to the same subject so to speak. All are related and when thinking of one you're also thinking of the other. I was actually more thinking about things that don't obviously go hand in hand. For me that's not really multitasking but than again i guess it's a blurry concept?

    Secondly i believe we obviously both have different filosofies on how to conduct business. I personally would take someone who cba coming in person to discuss a deal less seriously as i'd consider it as not willing to put efforts into it and thus disrespectful. (unless there is an already existing relation). That's why i don't believe in it. Maybe it's a "passé" filosofy, who knows, time will tell i guess.

    But let's not derail this totally. This was about dating habits (let's just  agree to disagree on the rest).

    My point about dating habits is that those habits you like about men are habits that went hand in hand with the previous social paradigm. The social paradigm having shifted so should your expectations about said habbits.

    Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt.
    Among those who dislike oppression are many who like to oppress.

  • devilisciousdeviliscious dallas, TXPosts: 6,906Member

    Originally posted by Grahor

    Originally posted by deviliscious

    WOW.  Just wow.  Yes, my grandfather moved from the reservation, we do have a choice as to whether or not we want to live on one, as much as people think we should be separated from the rest of society, as to not influence their Christian ideals, we are people too and should have rights to choose where we live as well. People act as if we are all dead these days, but no,  my tribe has around 7,000 left on this planet, so no despite your ignorance of the fact that we still exist here, most of my family still lives on the reservation. Most here already know my feelings towards Columbus here.  Do you have any idea how disgusting your comments even are?  You did not remove enough inflammatory remarks considering you think all tribes are related to Pocohontas.  I do not know how to even respond to such things.  It kind of  reminds me of when I was a kid and that kid asked me why I wasn't going to be an " indian" for halloween.   Idiots...

     

    Quite honestly, I simply don't care. We all have came from someone, some tribe or other, and I don't give a flying duck for that. How much do you care about glorious and bloody history of my Lithuanian ancestors fighting for 400+ years against German Crusaders or Livs or some of the Russian tribes from the other side of my family, or... Yes, that's how much I care about Hopi. Actually, at least I've heard about Hopi. Have you heard about seafaring expeditions of Kurland Duchy?

     

    Anyway, that was them, and I'm not them, even though I'm their genetic descendant; my culture, my values, my language, my self-identification are completely different, and so are yours; the Hopi as they were are infinitely far away from you. You are an American, a Texan at that; no more Hopi than historic reenactment people are Roman legionaries or whatever.

     

    You want to self-identify with them? Be my guest, but don't expect us to care about it.

    Not even sure why I am responding to such ignorance,  We are NOT past. We are not dead.  My family is not far from me. These aren;t some ancient ancestors that are long gone here that we  do not know.  My sister, cousins, aunts, uncles still live on the reservation as they have for thousands of years. I am of the bear  clan. This is not past.:

      My family is not far from me In fact, I took this pic of my Nephew this afternoon:

    No, we identify ourselves as Hopi, because that is who we are.  Yes, some of us have assimilated into American society, but that does not change who we are. Hopi is the name of our people. Not that you care  or anything....

     

  • devilisciousdeviliscious dallas, TXPosts: 6,906Member

    Originally posted by generals3

    Originally posted by deviliscious

    Overseeing is not  one task,  not at all. It requires you take on many tasks at the same time to be able to properly handle the situations that arise.  You must be able to see the details and the whole picture in order to be able to determine the best course of action by weighing the pros and cons quickly and being able to make an informed decision and be capable  acting on it in an appropriate and timely manner. Many things are considered with this, not just one, otherwise you make a poor supervisor. 

    I disagree that you must be present to check the order, by preordering samples and  using our video capabilities that  now allow for you to do just about anything remotely.  Bargaining  is also done in this way as well, but moreso along the lines of bidding on pallets and such, or negotiating quantity prices directly from the manufacturer. We still communicate verbally and  there is no reason to do this in person anymore, as we can now accomplish these things without having to fly to Hong Kong.

    I completely disagree about the necessity of being onsite to conduct business, and see that as a waste of resource, time and money. It is an unecessary expenditure that slows down transactions and decreases profits rather than increases them.

     

    First i think we have a misunderstanding on what is one task and what is not. All these things you describe belong to the same subject so to speak. All are related and when thinking of one you're also thinking of the other. I was actually more thinking about things that don't obviously go hand in hand. For me that's not really multitasking but than again i guess it's a blurry concept?

    Secondly i believe we obviously both have different filosofies on how to conduct business. I personally would take someone who cba coming in person to discuss a deal less seriously as i'd consider it as not willing to put efforts into it and thus disrespectful. (unless there is an already existing relation). That's why i don't believe in it. Maybe it's a "passé" filosofy, who knows, time will tell i guess.

    But let's not derail this totally. This was about dating habits (let's just  agree to disagree on the rest).

    My point about dating habits is that those habits you like about men are habits that went hand in hand with the previous social paradigm. The social paradigm having shifted so should your expectations about said habbits.

    Now that is where we differ. Women have always conducted business, and women have always been courted by men. I do not see that as anything that has changed, as my families history is different than yours. That is your families history, women always conducted business in mine, men always courted in mine.

  • generals3generals3 MehPosts: 3,307Member

    Originally posted by deviliscious

    Now that is where we differ. Women have always conducted business, and women have always been courted by men. I do not see that as anything that has changed, as my families history is different than yours. That is your families history, women always conducted business in mine, men always courted in mine.

    Well i guess all i can add to this is to keep in mind where western men came from and that acting in a certain way may not be because of the reasons you suspect.

    Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt.
    Among those who dislike oppression are many who like to oppress.

  • GrahorGrahor aaaPosts: 828Member

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know all that. I just don't care. So some of your relatives live in a reservation, keeping traditions and ancient customs and language and things alive. That's called "museum" in modern world. And this is significant how? For anything real-world-related? Why should anyone care? I certainly don't.

  • generals3generals3 MehPosts: 3,307Member

    Originally posted by Grahor

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know all that. I just don't care. So some of your relatives live in a reservation, keeping traditions and ancient customs and language and things alive. That's called "museum" in modern world. And this is significant how? For anything real-world-related? Why should anyone care? I certainly don't.

    I think you shouldn't compare keeping old traditions alive of someone's heritage to a museum. Not that you have to care but i firmly believe keeping your heritage alive can be very important for someone.

    Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt.
    Among those who dislike oppression are many who like to oppress.

  • GrahorGrahor aaaPosts: 828Member

    Originally posted by generals3

    I think you shouldn't compare keeping old traditions alive of someone's heritage to a museum. Not that you have to care but i firmly believe keeping your heritage alive can be very important for someone.

    And keeping a history accessible to other through the museum is also very important, to plenty of people. I just don't see how it is in any way relevant to anything. But its a private matter, not relevant to other people.

     

    Hopi lived the way they lived not because that way was important in itself, but because it's was the best know to them way, then, to interact with the world. Now, the world has changed and the ways to interact with it has changed. Keeping old traditions alive when they've lost their relevance is exactly what "museum" is.

  • ChieftanChieftan Independence, MOPosts: 1,417Member

    Originally posted by Robgmur

    Originally posted by deviliscious


    Originally posted by Grahor


    Originally posted by deviliscious

    >>Everything is give and take.

    So, what is it exactly that you give? There is nothing I actually want that you can give me.

    >>If a guy is so hung up on not pulling out a chair or picking up the tab,  it should be a big warning to a woman that he is only going to be more difficult and more indifferent in the treatment of the woman long term, and she would be better off passing on that one.  

    And she will be absolutely right that I will not "treat her long-term". I am not interested in women who need to be treated; I am only interested in women who treat themselves.

     

    As I said. BIG WARNING SIGN.  Most " normal  men" love to have a good home cooked meal, and full body massage, and would think you completely mental for not wanting one. Men like this are too mental to consider dating, and it is good you put that upfront, so that women can know ahead of time they should run like they are set on fire.

     So what you're saying is... for a few drinks you will make them dinner and massage them? that's basically what a prostitute is.. minus the cooking part, for christs' sake a guy would rather get a happy ending then a nice steak..  I think if I met a girl at the club or bar and she baught me a few shots I would think highly of her, as would any guy.

    Ummm YEAH from here on I'm expecting a full body massage after every date.

    The truth is for every guy who just wants to get laid there's a woman who just wants to be chased around.  That's really all dating is and it hasn't changed a lick no matter what women try to say.

  • generals3generals3 MehPosts: 3,307Member

    Originally posted by Chieftan

    Ummm YEAH from here on I'm expecting a full body massage after every date.

    The truth is for every guy who just wants to get laid there's a woman who just wants to be chased around.  That's really all dating is and it hasn't changed a lick no matter what women try to say.

    And let's also not pretend that there aren't any women who go out just to get laid as well. It's time to stop pretending it's only the men who do that.

    Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt.
    Among those who dislike oppression are many who like to oppress.

  • Sid_ViciousSid_Vicious Sandpoint, IDPosts: 1,526Member

    Originally posted by deviliscious

    Women do not need to ask men out on dates because we talk with our eyes.

    Well obviously if this is as far as you go with asking a man out than its perfectly normal to expect him to pay since he would be the one asking you out . .. but what if he were shy or simply not getting the hint? Couldn't you ever see yourself asking out a guy that you like and splitting the bill or even paying for the whole thing?


    Originally posted by Chieftan

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-how-and-why-sex-differences/201104/why-dont-women-ask-men-out-first-dates/comments

     Lots of psych mumbo jumbo but this reply I thought was hilarious:

    I'm a woman and I ask men out on dates simply because I want what I want when I want it and I dislike playing games. I have noticed 2 results.

    1) If I have asked a man out and the date goes well, I find the men often put less effort into the relationship as in making me do more of the asking for future dates, spending as little money as possible and not hesitating to request I help them out with a bevy of their personal challenges such as computer issues, fixing their gadgets and conflicts with various billing agencies. In essence, these men are very interested in what I can do for them and not much on what they can do for me.

    Well isn't that interesting.  Because I don't know about anybody else here but it sounds an awful lot she's describing every woman I've ever dated.  lol



    What guy is going to ask a girl about his computer issues?? lol

    Fixing gadgets? wut??

    Various billing agencies? pfft omg c'mon lol

    What we probably do not see here is that she is a some sort of tomboy who asks out pretty little boys much younger than her because she wants what she wants when she wants it.

    NEWS FLASH! A bank was robbed the other day and a man opened fire on the customers being held hostage. One customer zig-zag sprinted until he found cover. When questioned later he explained that he was a hardcore Darkfall Online player and knew just what to do.

  • blackcat35blackcat35 Lake Orion, MIPosts: 479Member

    I was reading about a time when women were poor and survived by getting asked out on dates where they weren't so interested in the guy as the food they were getting for free.    At some point, I feel that women are just using men for their money.  Whether they are selling their body, or their time, or even getting married.  In the end, they want their cut of the pie.  Few women aren't gold-diggers.  Those are the keepers.   The women who care more about you and less about your wallet.

    ==========================
    The game is dead not, this game is good we make it and Romania Tv give it 5 goat heads, this is good rating for game.

  • killerTwinkiekillerTwinkie Eau Claire, WIPosts: 1,694Member

    My personal opinion: Feminism is destroying our culture. I see women striving for their own success through the feminism flag-ship, but if a rich man presents themselves to said female, they forego this in-lieu of house-wife roles.

    My background was and is still, upper middle-class. You can count my family in the top 5 or higher %, earnings wise. My father works for the aviation sector, and owns his own consulting firm as a DER (Designated Engineering Representative), for another government agency... When the consulting runs dry, he teaches Mechanical Engineering at a local college. He works, and the wife doesn't. She stays at home, educates the children, and facilitates family time.

    Myself and my siblings far outpace others in work; success; creativity; problem solving, and promotions. Why? Likely due to learning on our own, in our own time. Likely due to parental guidance, 24/7

    Homeschool achievement beats public school. Homeschool is most successful when presented by a parent in a Nuclear family (father, mother and children). This is a successful duo in a Nuclear family, and often times more successful in a nuclear patriarchal home.

    I understand the average american and their circumstance of why or how their children go to public school, but proof shows that a family that sticks together, with one leading and one teaching, have successful offspring.

    I am a proponent of patriarchal society, where the house is run 49/51.

     

    KillerTwinkie - That one guy who used to mod mmorpg.com's forums.

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