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General: Forum Spotlight: The Gender Question
Stradden
Managing EditorMember CommonPosts: 6,696
In the past here at MMORPG.com, we have run editorials on how our writers feel about real life gender in gaming and whether or not it is a factor. Today, Community Manager Laura Genender looks at what our community thinks about the subject.
P>Scene: It's your favorite MMO, late at night in the capital city. Few players are around, and you've just gotten back from a very prosperous hunt - not only did you finally reach max level, but you got a rare item drop along the way. Oh sure, it's only priest usable and no good to your necromancer, but a rare drop's a rare drop.Up comes a female Elven healer. She's moderately geared, 3 levels below you, and immediately starts waving and dance emoting at you. She sends you a tell, "Hi! ^_^!" and gets you talking about your latest adventures. She seems impressed, and when you show her that rare drop she responds, "Oooooh! O.O that's GORGEOUS! XD"
Of course, we all know exactly what we do next. We wish her well, continue the conversation maybe, but ignore her hints about how wonderfully that item would improve her healing. You just met her, after all. Right?
Maybe.
Read the rest of the spotlight here.
Cheers,
Jon Wood
Managing Editor
MMORPG.com
Comments
The gender debate continues :P This isn't beating a dead horse, this is a dead horse that has been raised as a Dead Hand and then beat again (if you get the reference you are awesome). I guess my "doesn't matter" vote comes from the fact that I used to play a lot of asian MMOs, and if you've played them you know that in the majority of them the classes tend to be separated by gender as well. Usually the spellcasters or archers are women and the warriors are men. As I prefer spellcasters, I had to roll a woman, and it was easy for me to assume that there were other guys out there who had to do the same. In the end, I had to judge characters by how they behaved, not what their avatar looked like. Out of habit, I rolled a female on LOTRO, but I try to make it abundantly clear that there is a male behind that female avatar. My girlfriend also plays a female, and she is MUCH more likely to get aid on quests or gifts than I am. So I think that (either due to all the threads, articles, and news stories about gender in MMOs or some other factor) people are starting to become more wary of who exactly is playing that female dancing in front of them. As far as I'm concerned I don't care what your gender is. If the RL girl is a bad group player while the RL guy is an awesome one, I'll give the guy the rare every time (unless said RL girl is my S.O. then that changes, but that's another discussion all together :P)
I know this as a fact that there are probably an equal number of male gamers with female characters as there are female players with female characters, because my friend rolled up a bunch of female characters in WoW for the sole reason of mooching gear and money for his main character.I don't generally care who I play with as long as they are fun to play with, but i find that i get along with female players better (I am a guy) because they aren't really mouthy and annoying, and if there is an argument, they won't stir up the coals in a few minutes like guys (including me) tend to do. However, there are a fair share of female players who are just as annoying if not more annoying than guys. It is a catch 22 situation. Someone asks me for gear or money, i give it away or sell it cheap if I can spare the cash or items, i don't consider what gender they are, because the way I see it is that we are all playing a game, and whether we are men or women, in the game, we are players. There are many guys I crush into the dirt in PvP because they annoy me, but then there are an equal number of gals i do the same to. When a party wipe (the entire group dies and has to restart what we were doing) occurs though, female players tend to have the "oh well, lets start again" attitude, where male players ten to have the "thanks a lot moron, cya *leave party* *put all members of party on ignore list*".
MMO's definitely seem to cater to the "nerds" for lack of a better term. I define a nerd here as a social misfit, probably due to physical unattractiveness that reduced their chances for social interaction which amplified their inability to interact with the opposite sex.
In these new virtual landscapes the tables have turned. No longer are nerds held back by physical limitations, quite the opposite. The skills they have honed over the years as a gamer make them superior to newcomers in this new social environment we call MMOG. They build up reputation, respect, and virtual fame amongst their peers through extrordinary achievements. The physical attraction is actually still present as gamers will base status simply on the appearance of a characters armor.
Naturally females will be present in this environment and interactions between said nerds will become a necessity. Unfortunately, the problem with social interaction persists and the nerd will elevate the status of the female gamer in order to attain accpetance. Instead of a normal relationship forming you have one where a female takes a dominating role.
This of course affects the rest of our virtual society because of the typical social systems in MMO's, ie guilds, tribes, clans. Some of the more common problems seem to be favoritism when deciding who gets the spoils of a raid or simply animosity between nerds vieing for the attention of a single female. The overall affect is amplified from the likliness that it is the nerd in control of decisions which affect the majority. The nerd may have the tactical and logistical skill to run a tight ship, but unfortunately the best leaders must also have key social skills to maintain morale and respect amongst peers.
Bottom line, don't invite "nerds" into your guild.
An interesting spin on this:
Here
Poor undead horsey.
In a serious context, I think it's sad folks obsess over gender. For me, it's an everyday problem in the real world as being transgendered, when getting clocked as such folks treat me as an alien at best, or treat me as something to be killed by fire at worse. So, when I see folks take gender variance as a scourge online, I think to myself how it seems that online venues amplify the already existing moral panic toward gender variance, that some how it's a sin to be attracted to someone who's beautiful and isn't a female. Or to think that one tough looking person is cool, even though she's a mother of two who are in kindergarten. Or whatever variation you could consider as a reasonable range of gender variance. How people treat those who are gender variant in games merely reflects their own problems with gender variant people in general.
And as such, I tell such folks to get a grip on their premises as one of them is producing a contradiction. Particularly, the contradiction is that one must have a gender that follows their sex, in that one's sex is one's gender or appearance. Granted, sexual dimorphism is a fact of our mammalian lineage, but it doesn't dictate our values or free will. Thus, it doesn't follow that there is an 'essence' of manness or an essence of womanness beyond epistemological categorization (that sorta looks like X, so it's part of X... blahblahblahblah...). So, people ascribe their epistemological categories as metaphysical ones, thus assert this must be the way men are and that must be the way women are. The only things that one can verify that are in regards to man and woman is that they are two sides to the viable sexual reproduction coin for us human beings. It doesn't tell us how to be a man or how to be a woman. Some men are feminine and some women are masculine, and then some of us are neither, and we take a bit of both in appearance and behavior for our needs from a purely functional basis. Just remember, there is no 'gene' or 'soul' for who you are. You choose it from what you want out of life (the best for your needs). Some choose to crossdress online, some choose to do it in real life. And a few of us just don't care either way.
-- Brede
I have to say that many of my in-game interactions happen with people before I even know which sex their avatar represents. If I am giving away gear to a newbie, for instance, it usually is someone that I only know from looking them up on /who after I noticed whatever newbie question they've asked in /ooc or /shout. I am far more likely to have gear for melee classes lying around, so those are the classes I respond to the most, particularly if they are the same class of my main. (That's just pure classism, there. No excuses being made for that.)
In fact, a lot of interaction between character happens before ever seeing the avatar, like sending tells to people LFG or soliciting people who aren't flagged LFG but might be. (Having played a stint as an EQ1 cleric and later an EQ2 Warden and then Inquisitor, I've gotten my share of tells looking for me, whether I was LFG or not...)
I played a female character named Mirin, and more often than not, when I joined a group and was on my way to whatever zone they were in, there was a lot of "Mirin is on his way", etc. Ididn't get this special preferential treatment that so many female characters/players claim to have gotten, despite playing female characters. People generally just don't give me stuff, even after they see my character. I've been around this site for a long time, and this topic has come up so many times over the years that I started to develop a theory: It's either playing the classes and races I tend to choose or the gender-ambiguous names I tend to pick that makes people think I am a guy. When I played WoW, I was on the verge of pulling my hair out over "Girls don't play Horde. And if they do, they don't play orcs!" I was a female orc and a real female person in the chair too.
It's not real, scientific proof, but when I started a half-elf druid named Gwenna, I finally saw a little bit of that attention that people are always talking about. . I am not sure if it was because I was the name, being a druid, or having my butt hanging out of my outfit (literally... think thong) ... Maybe it was the combination. I still didn't get stuff given to me, but I did get a lot of flirting... It was almost surreal after years of my female characters being called "dude" and "bro".
...
This is where I draw the line: __________________.
I have seen this first hand. I am a gamer.. So is my G/F(who sits beside me not 3 feet away.) We have played a couple of MMO's and well Despite me being a better player. She ends up lvling faster. Mostly dew to other people helping her. Which is great for her. But leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Guess Sex over skill is more important. Personaly I don't care about the sex of the people on my team. More the ability. But I guess I am the exception to the rule.
Back in the day, I played Runescape with a female character (I am male), and got chased half way around the world by some teenage boy doing his best to hit on me, despite the fact that I told him I was a man, and--let's face it-- how attractive are Runescape polygons?
It gave me a better understanding what women have to put up with in RL...
I hear ya... And that is the MAIN reason I Refuse to play a female char.. I am Male.. I am one in RL I am one online.. To those that roll up a fem char.. Hay I might not hit on ya. But some dufus out there WILL!.. And to the Female players out there.. Ya.. I know there are those little boys that do nothing but look to cyber.. And I am sorry and apologize for them. But to be fair.. The ratio of guys to REAL girls out there is really bad. And there are good guys out there. Do your homework.. Look for a guild that is fair. And you will be fine..
I'm a 44 year old mother of 3 teens. Only one of my children has any interest in gaming, and the only MMO he has played was Runescape. He no longer even plays THAT. He does, however, play Guitar Hero 2 with his girlfriend (real life, not online), and he brags how she plays on expert, and very WELL, mind you...when he and all of his friends are still playing on medium.
This child is also my athlete. He's the varsity wide receiver, and a record-breaking letterman in track, as well. He has a full life.
His mother, on the other hand, is the family "gamer." I have been playing MMOs, rpgs, MMOrpgs, adventures, FPS, RTS, casual games, and pretty much ANY game I can get my hands on, ever since the release of Atari! It has ALWAYS been my hobby.
When World of Warcraft was just a rumor, I was interested. I had played Warcraft 3 and Frozen Throne and found the story fascinating. Apart from the fact, well...this was Blizzard we were talking about here. I had spent years enjoying the Diablo series and particularly LOD Online. So...I was fortunate enough to play WoW in beta, open beta, and then upon release.
The first toon I made was female. I did notice that men tend to pay more "attention" to women gamers if they know they are women. I had previously noticed this in my Diablo years. But my reason for playing a female was....I actually just liked the LOOKS of the characters more, and well...I'm female!
However, as time went on, I began to be a bit disgusted with the assumption by many in the game that I was NOT female since I was, afterall, playing a game. O.o I understand that women have begun to "invade" this secret male-dominated society, and many men were initially a little "miffed" about it, I think. Myself, I have always BEEN a part of this "society" of gamers, so it was hard for me to understand why men ingame would ASSUME my gender to be MALE, simply because MORE men play than women. That doesn't MEAN that women DON'T play!
Anyway, to make a long story a LITTLE shorter....I moved to another server for an experiment and rolled a male Tauren warrior. I didn't initially TELL anyone that I was female, just to see how things would go. Eventually, Ventrilo made it impossible for me to hide my gender, but....by the time we were running instances that really called for Vent, my reputation had already been somewhat established and the SHOCK effect of men hearing that I was female for the first time was TRULY funny!! I actually had some people accuse me of lying and say things like, "OMG, you are TOO a dude!" That is....until they heard me on Vent. LOL!
Men ingame do tend to give more unsolicited "advice" when they know you are female. This generally just ticks me off, really, as I have more gaming experience than MOST of them, and often....their advice is just plain BAD. LOL!! However....understanding their need to "protect" the "weaker sex"....I generally just blow them off and do what I know is right, while thanking them for their "input."
It seems men are particularly leary of women who can TANK. The sexism of that is so archaic, I actually am amused by it, somewhat, although it is also a little irritating considering the age we live in.
My male Tauren warrior didn't get (or need, for that matter) lots of inordinate "help" in reaching level 70. And by the time I WAS 70, most men I played with on the server had plenty of respect for me as a PLAYER, regardless of my gender, and I find mySELF being the one offering the "help" and "gifts" most often. I certainly, as a woman, do not decide who I am going to "help" determined by their gender. If someone needs help, I don't ask....a/s/l. LOL!! This isn't an AOL chat room, for god's sake. If someone needs something....and I'm able to provide it....I give. (Note: This does not apply to the beggars standing around the AH asking for gold.)
I have a LOT of characters now, of BOTH cartoon genders. I have a male lvl 70 Tauren warrior, a male lvl 45 Troll hunter, a female lvl 67 Gnome mage (my original WoW toon), a female 34 Human priest, a female 31 Bloodelf warlock, and a wide array of others.
REGARDLESS of what cartoon gender my character IS....I find that the VAST majority of WoW players make the ASSUMPTION that I am male, unless I tell them otherwise.....which I do not often choose to do. Generally I will make no mention of it at ALL, unless I am asked.
Personally, I would rather garner the respect of fellow gamers because of my playing ability and SKIP the "freebies" thing. It's not worth it. I do SEE women (or pseudo-women) USING it ingame to obtain either items or help.....and it ANNOYS me to no end. It makes me want to scream things like, "OMGWTF? STFU U n00b L2P!" I, of course, resist the temptation to DO SO, but....the temptation is indeed THERE!
I think really, the AGE of players makes a difference on this issue. Most of the men and women my age that play (and there are a LOT of them, amazingly), do not CARE whether someone is male or female. They aren't playing to look for a hot nightelf chick to "date" (pffft....as though "dating" can take place in a game...lol)! They are playing, like myself, as a hobby because they ENJOY it. They work full-time, they have families (often their partner's play too, as mine does), and it is something that they enjoy spending their evenings and weekends DOING together or alone.
Sorry....I've rambled on long enough! My basic point is.....
Respect a player because of their skill, not their gender. That is SOOOOO old-fashioned and silly. Help people because you are generous and WANT to, not because you think you can "get in their virtual pants," that is immature and utterly ludicrous! Instead of pretending to be female, guys, or USING your true gender (ladies) to obtain things.....try just being a good player. Learn the game, play honestly, enjoy it. Afterall....it's a hobby....not your LIFE.
President of The Marvelously Meowhead Fan Club
I always play a female.
I started this little rule of mine to avoid the FEMALE cybergirls. I can handle the little boys, it's the girls that I wanted to avoid. Back in the early days of EQ, it was a big problem. I don't know how many times with a male character, some RL woman attached to me because I was extremely helpful in game. I am not guiltless in the matter either. I liked the attention. However, it always went awry. It is extremely real to women. It is not a game. I have grown past that, but then I got married and decided to continue the tradition.
So, I always played a female character.
What I found is that there are a whole load of perks to playing a female. Not the least of which is the fact that a father like myself never has to explain absences from the game, because they don't think I'm a father. They think I'm a MOTHER. I never hear the "WTF? WE NEEDED YOU LAST NIGHT, WHERE WERE YOU?" and I never have to answer "At my son's Pop Warner football practice, DUDE!" They honestly do not care. If you are helping they are thrilled, if you are not they are equally fine.
Interesting side effect wouldn't you say.
As a funny side note: My 8 year old son started playing my main (while I was dozing on the coach and against policy) the other day and asked a guildie to duel. My 8 year old ripped him apart rather easily. The guy thought he got whooped by a girl. He actually got whooped by a child. He was ok with it when I apologized and told him what happened.
I have never seen female toons get handed loot/advice/preference in an MMO like i have in WoW. My first toon was a female toon(i am a guy) i made a human warlock, and when i was researching the game I saw that the armor I that was going to dominate my backpack was cloth, a.k.a robes, figured a chick would look way better than a dude in robes. shortly after my spawn into the game I was being hit on and handed all sorts of "start-up" gold and items. the same did not happen with the lil male gnome warrior i rolled up the next day. btw, i definetly kept taking advantage of this all the way thru the career of my lock. just send a /wink at a guy these days and they think you are in love with them. I might have stopped but about 4 months after the release of the game someone asked me if i was really a girl, being a bit high,, err on life that is,,yea, at the time i said only one word, sure!. and the dude handed me an epic krol blade (wich 4 months into the game was worth a TON of gold) , then he proceeded to ask me for my phone number!!.Are you serious!!???? Of course i didnt give him my number, but i gave him a team speak channel to hit up and then laughed untill my stomach hurt when he found out i was a dude. Now i have heard of people creating meaningfull realationships with people they met on an MMORPG, but is it just the little kids or the old pervs that will hit on any ANIMATED CHARACTER? there is a big difference in starting to get to know someone via vent/forum/chat or running up to my female toon and tryin to woo me with gifts, but hey as a guy, when competition is rough, if someone wants to hand me some stuff in a random group becuase they think im a girl, i wont say no! btw when i hand out advice or loot its not gender based, mostly for the fact that i dont want someone laughing at me the way i've laughed at so many. LONG LIVE THE Auction-House STRIPPERS!!!!
http://s6.bitefight.org/c.php?uid=67334
I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess that both of the posters that followed my last post...play Alliance. Yes? No?
I don't know WHAT server you all are ON, but I have never gotten this sort of preferential treatment (such as being presented with epic weapons and loot) on Tanaris. Granted, I started on Tanaris (as HORDE) when it was a brand new server with my first MALE toon. So there weren't rich high level toons running around yet. Again...I am female. However, Tanaris is now a YEAR old and I have created many FEMALE characters since and never....EVER....been showered with loot and attention.
I will also add that there are many ALL ADULT guilds on Tanaris that have players that are age 25 and older exclusively. Get Off My Lawn comes to mind. It does have a "sister" guild for those UNDER the age of 25 called "On Your Lawn." I will also add that Tanaris is one of the SLOWEST progressing servers as far as working their way through raids, etc. I wish there was some way to find out the age variances on the different servers, because what I've seen of Tanaris would lead me to believe it is a largely more adult population, at least on Horde side.
I am guessing that Tanaris may be a uniquely "older" server in the age of it's players....on HORDE side, at least. I only have one Alliance toon on that server, who is a guildless twink that I use to wreck havoc in BGs just for fun. =D However, since she is only close to lvl 29, I don't have much community experience on the Alliance side of the server to comment on it's overall maturity. And no....THAT female toon did not have "help" in getting where she is either. I did it entirely on my own, including the twinking part, by using ingame channels of transfering gold to my Alliance toon from my Horde main, via the neutral AH trick and using a trusted friend.
Which brings me back to one of the points I made in my first post:
I think that most of this problem is with the tweens and teens who fantasize over a relationship with a cartoon. We don't HAVE as many children on Horde side, so perhaps the problem is not as pervasive there? Like I said, I'm going to make a guess that most of the people that are commenting on the extreme pervasiveness of this issue.....play Alliance. Would LOVE to know if that is true. I'm curious.
President of The Marvelously Meowhead Fan Club
Personally I don't care how well drawn the female avatar is, she's not getting anything from me if I just met her.
I don't really have a problem if women (or men posing as women) use "wiles" to get ingame freebies. If the guy falls for it, oh well maybe he will learn for next time. I've been in Stormwind's AH in WoW and there was an elf lady dancing wearing nothing but a shirt begging for money for her "defias leather set". Didn't bother me I can ignore her or move to another auctioneer. There have always been beggars in MMOG's, just now the pixels are a bit prettier than before.
How do I handle this? If they whisper me specifically I usually ask why do you need the money, why can't your guild get it for you, etc. Usually have a few questions like this they go away.
I can relate to a lot of what girlgeek has to say, more so than what a lot of other people have had to say on the topic.
Just wanted to say that.
I think there's a wide variety of experiences that people have. My husband plays female characters and doesn't pretend to be a woman. He doesn't always come out and tell people upfront that he's male. It shouldn't matter. He has noticed that people are a lot less likely to jump to the conclusion that he's being a jerk when he's just joking around when he's female, and that's good enough for him to keep playing girls.
Next time I am actively playing MMORPGs, I am going to play male characters. I have never gotten all the gifts and special treatment that other people say they've gotten for playing female characters (maybe because everyone knows pretty early on that I'm old and married), but I have noticed that male characters get taken more seriously and are patronized less. (Deja vu, I think I blogged about this a few days ago.)
...
This is where I draw the line: __________________.
President of The Marvelously Meowhead Fan Club
Forgive me for breaking the trend, but I think this is the first time I've seen a thread with EVERY post being more than one line of relevant information. I actually read slowly through every post instead of skimming
My warrior was actually kicked from a group because a MALE warrior (of equal lvl and same spec) wanted my spot...
And just my theory on female toons that accept/or ask for gold and loot: they are probably male. I have always played female toons, and I have never asked for, nor recieved, free items or gold. Though I often hear boys in my guild bragging that some guy just gave them 100g, thinking they were really female.
Currently Playing : WAR, UO, RL
My warrior was actually kicked from a group because a MALE warrior (of equal lvl and same spec) wanted my spot...
And just my theory on female toons that accept/or ask for gold and loot: they are probably male. I have always played female toons, and I have never asked for, nor recieved, free items or gold. Though I often hear boys in my guild bragging that some guy just gave them 100g, thinking they were really female.
---------------------------------------------------
Although I never really thought about it, you're probably right. I, as I've already stated, am female....and I, also, have never asked for gold or items, or flirted and manipulated to try to GET such things. What's the point? In my opinion it ruins the game if you don't obtain the things that you VALUE by your own hand. O.o I never have understood it. I think most REAL women take pride in making in on their own. So you probably have a POINT about most of the exploiters being male in RL. Interesting......
I wish there was some way we could get REAL statistics about this. It's an interesting issue, indeed!
President of The Marvelously Meowhead Fan Club
good gawd are all mmog'ers over 40 these days???
jeez..
One point - unless it's made clear when you join a guild, i don't accept any excuses for not showing up for events or dropping out early. screw your kids karate class or cheerleading practice... THERES A WORLD TO CONQUER DAMMIT!
Anyway here's my simplistic , irrelevant and slightly NSFW take on the whole subject:
"Beer Is Better Than Girls Are"
http://krucoff.com/media/Artless_Beer.mp3
If a girl isn't willing to talk to you over teamspeak or on a webcam after you've spoken with them for a few weeks on text then it's obvious they're a guy, that's how I tell the difference, since they can't lie easily on that kind of stuff.
Quoting people doesn't make you clever, in fact, it makes you all the more stupid for not bothering to read the quotes you post in the first place.
I prefer to play a toon which look cute or sexy... I prefer when peoples play such toons...
I may spoil peoples I group with regularly, regardless of their avatar or rl gender. If they actually try to hit on me, I will NOT spoil them. I tend to prefer to spoil players who: 1- needs it, 2- are nice. Girls have a tendancy to be nice and to be needy, while guys have a tendancy to compete with me, and when you compete you usually don't need help...and you are harsher. Guys often refuse help, while girls are more inclined to accept it. I know I cannot accept help often myself, it is situational and I will consider myself in debt at any rate...which is silly cause if I give something, I never consider anyone in debt toward me, yet, I expect more of myself then from others...typical for a guy...kinda silly...but this is how I am...what can I do?
I often have WAY too much stuff anyway, selling stuff online to acquire other items is something I do early on my character developpment, or when I don't have a friend that have better use for the item. Of course, if the item has an insane value on the market, I will likely sell it there rather then give it to anyone, but if peoples are not willing to meet the price I think it is worth, I will give it away to a friend (someone I group a lot with) rather then drop my price...I am not a bargainer. I rather go hunt 4 hours then bargain 2 hours. By hunting 2 extra hours, I will be able to instantly sells something for a fair price...or to spoil a friend...it is a win/win situation. I won't be actively bargaining and will keep that to a minimum if I can be hunting instead.
- "If I understand you well, you are telling me until next time. " - Ren
And the king of all undead horses raises it's head again. Personally, most all my avatars are female-I'm staring at a butt for hours on end, it had better be a butt I can stand to look at. LOL. As for the whole question of do I get stuff? Not really- but I always say something like 'You won't like what's in the hotpants cheif' and most are bright enough to get the hint.
Do girls in games get more? Of course, it's a part of our whole culture-the girl don't show up a dude's house with a limo and a box of candy, it's the other way around. (unless the dude's a complete waste, then RUN girls, he'll be on the couch drunk and scratching himself 4 hours into the marriage!) It's something we learn as early as gradeschool (don't hit girls, giving them flowery cards and little candy hearts) and doesn't let up. Even office affairs- 9 times out of 10 it's some older guy getting his young secretary a mink coat and a fancy dinner. Not always mind you-but usually.
Do I mind? Not really. Do I care who's typing on the other end? Again, nope. I'm never going to see them, I don't go to cons or anything. Won't ever see anything but their text. As for voice, I hate the crap. It's too distracting and cuts in on my tunes time. It's no different than a girly mag. You won't ever get any of them women, so fantasize away.
This seems to be a very common issue on these boards. I honestly cant fathom why anyone cares? Its a ROLE-PLAYING game. You play a role, you dont make an avatar of yourself who sits at home playing video games and working 9-5. When I am playing a MMO the only thing I care about is if the person can play their role properly. Im nice to male and female avatars who are nice to me and know how to play well. I played with a male iksar avatar on Everquest 2 for 6 months before finding out it was a girl, but it didnt make any difference to me, I didnt start calling her a deciever or saying she was a cross-dresser.. why? Because I never cared and she was a fun person to play online with. Likewise I have played with guys who have female avatars, but none of them hit on me or asked me for items, most of them usually stated up front that they were guys to avert any unwanted immature advances.
The only reason I can see gender being an issue is if you are trying to hit on the person, and doing that in a video game is just sad really. Go on a dating site or something.
I personally have both male and female avatars, not once have I asked for a hand out or flirted with anyone online. The only reason for my characters gender is because the character model interests me and I think it looks cool. I have played everything from a female pink froglok conjurer, to a male halfling bard, to a female blood elf shadowpriest and a male tauren shaman. I dont base my avatars on myself, i just think they are cool in their own right.