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General: Column: MMOWTF: The GAME

StraddenStradden Managing EditorHalifax, NSPosts: 6,696Member Common

Dan Fortier returns this week with his column, MMOWTF. This time out, in an article titled "The GAME", Dan takes a sarcastic look at designing his own MMORPG.


I’m sick of playing other peoples’ crappy online games. Everyone should be able to play one game that gives them exactly what they want. Whether you prefer instant gratification or a rewarding grind we should be able have the best part of all games in a single package. I decided the only way to make this a reality was do it myself. That’s right you heard me, I’m making my own game and it will appeal to everyone. It’s known simply as “The Greatest All-Player MMO Evah” (The GAME™) and I’m giving you, my biggest fans and critics, a sneak peak!

You can read this article here.

Jon Wood
Managing Editor



  • the420kidthe420kid Hamilton, ONPosts: 440Member Uncommon
    I would like to be apart of your beta testing process for this mama jama :)
  • JackDonkeyJackDonkey _, MNPosts: 383Member
    long ago in the days of single player someone said, I want a game where
    you can rob cars, shoot people, and race around town, in those days you
    had games like the driver, crazy taxi, and shooting games. 
    Someone went ahead and made the crazy idea and it's been the best
    single player game around for a long time now, and you can fly now too
    i quite enjoy just flying around and under bridges while I wait for my
    pizza to get done cooking.

    Which Final Fantasy Character Are You?
    if I were to kill a titan tomorrow and no CCP employees showed up to say grats I would petition it.
    Waiting for: the next MMO that lets me make this macro
    if hp < 30 then CastSpell("heal") SpellTargetUnit("player") else CastSpell("smite") end

  • BlazinBladesBlazinBlades Lajola, CAPosts: 1,214Member

    This is just another WOW clone. Bring it on down now.

    Damn byotch dat aint no friggn moon fool, dat be a friggn space station byotch.

  • Jumper2kJumper2k Clarkston, MIPosts: 133Member Uncommon
    Can't wait for this game ;)


    Currently Playing: WoW (somewhat)
    Testing: None
    Played: WoW, CoV, AL, SWG, VC, EVE, SWToR

  • AnofalyeAnofalye Quebec, QCPosts: 7,433Member



    As long as the BEST groupers are groupers, I would love almost ANY game!  image


    I dunno what is so hard for designers to grasp, peoples who want to be good at grouping, well duh, breaking news, they are groupers.  Peoples who want to be good at soloing, eh, another breaking news, they are soloers!  Quite simple eh? image   When someone who isn't grouping ask to be the best at grouping, this is like a kid asking for illogical stuff, you may grant it to them and see the results as SoE experience first hand with FoH, or you may teach them that peoples who are the best at grouping, well they group.  Not play baseball, raid or vote democrat/republican, but they freaking group.


    But seems to be too hard for most designers to get it.  Designers are prolly peoples who fail at learning how to program anyway.  So it can be safely assumed that designers are either lazy (and stop programming), stupid, downright lame or any combinaison of these! image


    That is quite simple, really.  Yet, some peoples think that FOREIGN activities deserve better rewards, while in fact they deserve weakers rewards; from a grouping point of view.  I agree that soloers doesn't deserve to be better at grouping then a grouper, however not only soloers, every non-groupers Simple...really...BEST GROUPERS have to be GROUPERS, and nothing else but grouping can be asked from someone who just want to become the best at grouping.  Offering alternate paths is cool, enforcing them is wrong (See Saga of Ryzom for referrence about this wrong logic pattern).


    PS: I am a GD myself, so I can self-trash all GDs with impunity!  I know first hand!  image

    - "If I understand you well, you are telling me until next time. " - Ren

  • raykorraykor Seattle, WAPosts: 326Member
    Remember kids...CRACK IS WHACK...image
  • Jade6Jade6 HelsinkiPosts: 429Member

    Trouble with genres is that scifi is idealized future, and fantasy is idealized past, so there's not much room for else. image

  • Darkz0rDarkz0r Porto AlegrePosts: 78Member

    Hehe, cool article. ;o

    Looks like I will be able to kill mob X for one week...then, if the item that I needed does not drop, I can just use the seemless interface and generate it !

    No more frustrations. image

  • Myrten0881Myrten0881 Henderson, TXPosts: 13Member
    Can i play the Ba'Be"Cue Po'Cair race? they would have to be cool... heat resistant and sharp! that would be cool...  

    I REJECT your reality and substitute my own!

  • Distortion0Distortion0 Sheppton, PAPosts: 668Member


    But seriously, not all cars are designed for the road. Sometimes they take a concept and throw a bunch of cool features onto a 'concept car'. They'll then break these features up and slowly apply them to existing cars in mass production. This editorial could really be onto something. We really just need more skill based games though.

  • daethevendaetheven lancaster, CAPosts: 51Member
    id like to be a gm in this game and fly around in a giant waffle iron with a big picture of scooby doo on it or something that might look like him, oh and can it be a neon orange with neon green dots all over it?

  • cthornettcthornett BathPosts: 32Member
    Strangely enough this game, particularly the areas, sound a lot like a text-based MUD I used to play at uni - most of the weird stuff was attributed to the mad Scandinavians. I reckon the answer is to just employ more of the nutters.

  • boognish75boognish75 lancaster, NYPosts: 1,540Member Uncommon

    Originally posted by daetheven
    id like to be a gm in this game and fly around in a giant waffle iron with a big picture of scooby doo on it or something that might look like him, oh and can it be a neon orange with neon green dots all over it?

    to be able todo tis you may need heat resitance and squish resists, and if not you can just filter it out anyway,

    playing eq2 and two worlds

  • jbartleyjbartley Bartlesville, OKPosts: 4Member

    This was the best laugh I've had yet today. This sounds just like my kids' view on what their life should be like.

  • delateurdelateur Spokane, WAPosts: 156Member

    I'm not sure if this was designed to be a laugh, or a sarcastic jab at the demands of the player base and just how unappealing such a game would be if it were actually created... Perhaps it is a bit of both? Either way, it did make me think about the idea of frustration and how it contributes to MMOGs. I realized that in some games, when things are just too darned easy, even the most interesting gameplay becomes repetitive, because there is simply no challenge. I am reminded of CoV and how, try as I might, I haven't reached 50 yet, but rather have extreme altitis that will take a character into the high 20s to high 30s, where they will then be parked to make way for a new alt. It is not because the gameplay is boring. I actually enjoy mob fighting very much in CoV, for all archetypes except the Dominator, which is, in my opinion, utterly broken for solo play (only due to their inability to solo elite bosses with purple triangles efficiently), but works quite nicely on teams. There comes a point not very long after you get single origin enhancements at 22+ where things start to become a lot easier. The risks are there, but they are far fewer and are easier to compensate for. In one way, this is great, because you do feel as though you are becoming stronger as you advance, rather than just having a fancier looking rat hunter beating down fancier looking rats that always seem to hurt you just as much as when you were level one. On the other hand, the grind starts to stand out more. Fights aren't as challenging, therefore they are less immersive, and the time to level stretches out as you advance, making each battle much less epic and thus easily dismissed as just another obstacle on the way to the next level.

    One thing I would enjoy seeing more of, in CoV and all MMOGs, is something to break up the grind. I think the formula of becoming stronger as you level and having battles be trivial most of the time, with a few epic battles here and there to keep you on your toes is a good formula as you advance, while when you're starting out, you should feel a bit more fragile, but not completely outmatched. CoV does this well. What games really need is more immersive content. CoV has moved in that direction, but there is still a long way to go. Cutscenes are used infrequently at best in standard MMOG gameplay, and is usually reserved for epic battle introductions. I'd love to see more random cutscenes, added for humor, to enrich the story a bit, or just to break up the monotony of killing over and over again. The reason the "gimme" attitude exists is due in large part, I believe, to the desire to finish the game because it is so monotonous. All sense of wonder at what might happen next is removed in MMOGs because they degrade so quickly into a 90+% grindfest with the remaining 10% being not all that amazing (crafting, poorly balanced PvP (or PvP at all, for us carebears), socializing in uninteresting places trying to think of creative ways to make rude gestures with emotes not intended for that purpose, etc.).

    So, Dan, I'm sad to say that I don't want to play The GAME, because it's not what I'm after. While I do like some of the ideas, I must admit my skepticism that even your creative mind has produced enough truly entertaining content (and I'm speaking of actual plotlines that I can take part in, not just varied worlds that are all distinctly different). The next great MMOG that comes along is going to address content as something integral to the playing experience, something that draws you in and welcomes you to the world, that gives you a sense of urgency in your quests and a true feeling of sadness should you fail a mission, not just because of a lost prize, but because we actually cared what happened to these computer generated personalities.

  • nightbird305nightbird305 CopenhagenPosts: 272Member Uncommon
    id buy it lol
  • ReklawReklaw Am.Posts: 6,495Member Uncommon

    Great artical indeed image

    Afcourse no such game will be made nor will such game ever excist but i fully got the point and thats that alott of gamers (wich i like to prefure to as wanna-be gamers) would like to see such a game because most of them totaly lost their way's in what gaming should stand for and for me that's fun and entertainment, i do care about getting nice gear but does this take over my game play, not in any way, also i do not get upset when other do get the stuff (they deserve cause of the time spend getting it) i salute them and just wished i had either the patients or time to get me set for such long journy's , but i do not have to have a game that elimenates all that just because i dislike it. Maybe some day i will hookup with the right kind of groups/people to get me that stuff( something to maybe look forward too)"THE GAME" shows how lazy wanna-be gamers become, a game that pleases everyone i think is truly impossible to make, sure its possible to generate a very large player base, but forums like this show that too many people have too many different idea's on gaming.


  • VrazuleVrazule Laguna Vista, TXPosts: 1,095Member
    You kind of have to laugh at the whole MMO genre.  The developers don't know what the hell they're doing, but they certainly like to make us think they're professionals who have "The Vision".

    With PvE raiding, it has never been a question of being "good enough". I play games to have fun, not to be a simpering toady sitting through hour after hour of mind numbing boredom and fawning over a guild master in the hopes that he will condescend to reward me with shiny bits of loot. But in games where those people get the highest progression, anyone who doesn't do that will just be a moving target for them and I'll be damned if I'm going to pay money for the privilege. - Neanderthal

  • n2k3156n2k3156 West Nyack, NYPosts: 523Member
    Man, am I the only one that finds these articles to have a complete lack of anything worthwile to say?

    NGE Refugee.


  • kabanakabana Donuthole, AZPosts: 33Member


         You forgot that it will have the best graphics with no lag-time.  Also, a toll-free number to call, or a chat room, and have someone direct you through if you get stuck (...or lonely).  You can leave your character afk with a stack of commands while you go to school/work,  and return to the benefit of a day of playing.  If you come up with an idea or have something in The GAME you want changed, you simply contact the game dev and they will change it for you.  The NPC's are real people chatting with you, 24/7, and they speak any language, even made-up ones (like elvish, or klingon).  They give you better info if they like you.  Real money is worthless.  In fact, The GAME and any item you could ever want for THE GAME are completely free.  FREE FOREVER.

         Well, overall this sounds unrealistic, but really some of the ideas could be used, in some extent.  At least understanding what a player's ideal game is can help them build a game that will please more players and frustrate less.  Even the free part. :)

      Great article!!!

    (> <) This is Bunny. Copy Bunny into your signature to help him on his way to world domination!

  • NaarNaar crackville, CAPosts: 165Member

    I think you need to sign a deal with Distortion0 to get him to design some avatars for you.



  • manokillermanokiller roanoke, VAPosts: 1Member
    yea man where can i sign up? :D

    This is a awsome idea i hope we can "live life freely" and the way we want to :P

  • oglemoglem MelbournePosts: 20Member
    Hi all,

    Im not exactly sure but was this a think piece that went wrong?  image

    You a gained one level in strange crap.



  • HunnenkoenigHunnenkoenig WienPosts: 53Member



    And what did you want to say with this? Because I couldn't find any sense in it...

  • cdeepalcdeepal Marlborough, MAPosts: 148Member

    I didn't find the article funny.

    I thought it is quite a useless article, and I spent 5 minutes reading the first few paras. What a waste.

    Please write something interesting.

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