So been single for years...is what I'm looking for too much?

TheScavengerTheScavenger Matrix, NYMember RarePosts: 2,242

Been single or years. Had gfs, never was happy because I always thought "well she is amazing, but not really my type or meet what I'm looking for at all"

 

You see...maybe its because I live in the city or/and what I'm looking for is just not possible. But you never see any female that likes getting dirty (not in that way :P) but actually getting in the dirt and mud. And also likes insects and animals, and likes having pets...likes the outdoors (hiking, with camping as a bonus)...doesn't want children (I have social problems. Probably from my autism (high functioning form), wouldn't really want or could handle any children I'd have that would very likely get it as well)...doesn't want to spend all my money and doesn't like malls. I'm not interested in bars or partying or any of that shit.

 

Really most important part in that is liking insects/animals/pets/outdoors/no children. Everything else I guess is a huge bonus. But I go outside all the time, do stuff...but there is barely any females that like insects/animals/outdoors. Probably even less that are single. There are of course mountain bikers and I've seen women riding along. but I'm not really into biking and they are always with guys.

 

Now...I had a gf that liked the outdoors. I found out (heh, she got me good) she liked outdoor malls. Fell for that one :P

 

Is what I'm looking for just too much? I don't really feel like downgrading just to satisfy someone else. I mean, I'm happy being single and enjoy doing stuff with friends. But is there actually any female that likes and likes doing all that stuff? Do I just need to get out of the city to meet females like that? I mean most females I meet (well all females I've met), don't even like insects. Which is an immediate X, cause I keep lots of various insects and I would never get rid of anything just to make someone happy.

 

Guess being happy being single is a good thing. I'm happy with myself and how I look. Really having a gf isn't like how it was in middle school/high school...but it be nice to meet a female that was into all that. I have guy friends that like insects and stuff and like the outdoors, but just can't seem to find any female that is into that stuff. So again, is what I'm looking for in a female just too much to expect?

My adult gaming and mods website (various games, adult mods, screenshots, stories and other games I play(ed) 

http://nsfwgaming.wixsite.com/adultgamingandmods

And my Youtube channel (for nature/relaxation/meditation videos)

https://www.youtube.com/user/Vendayn


Comments

  • BatCakezBatCakez None O''ya Business, CAMember Posts: 127

    Suppose I'll hazard replying to this.

     

    Girls like that DO exist, but majority of the time, you have to kind of 'tame it' out of them again. For example, when I was younger, I loved to explore, get dirty, make swords out of sticks when we went camping in the forest/mountains, collect oddities, and hiking was fun. When I became older, society groomed me to be your tradition girl.. getting dirty was.. well, the end of the world supposedly. When I say 'tame it' out of them, not every single one will be like that, and some  will naturally revert to being like this when they are with a partner that shows the interest. I never really had to have it yanked back out again, but it was definitely helpful that when I got with my hubby, he was keen on camping, hiking, etc. All the things I grew up with, so I knew my life would be filled with this.

     

    I think the largest problem you run into is that not many people do that. Today, you have two types.

    (1) Shoe Crazies  <-- Malls, Narcistic, Shopping, Cosmetics, Big Groups, Etc.

    (2) Technology Crazies  <-- Less social, Computer, Small Groups, Etc. (This day and age, technology affects every individual now, it's part of the way we live)

     

    Every now and then, you'll have one or the other of the two, take interest in what you've mentioned. Likely the latter, though. There aren't many, because again (I point to technology), people don't have much reason to go outside and see nature when they can see it on their T.V/Computer/Mobile/Pad/Whatever ...

    You can, however, get someone into that. Don't just make it a 'requirement'. I think the important part of someone you can spend your life with, or be with, is that you make sure their personality is exceptional to you, not so much whether they like to 'fold' or 'crumple', figuratively speaking.

    Most girls love animals. Hiking/Camping/Not afraid of getting dirty, is something that has to appeal to them, too, and may or may never happen. Bugs is really pushing it. Let that remain your fascination, but you can't pressure and hope for the rest of your existence that some female will be all over that, too. I'm sure there are some, but you know how much a females world differs from a male, lol.

     

    My suggestion to you:

    (1) Assess what you REALLY look for in someone. Before you decide that they should like this, and like that, think about what personality is something you can live with. If all you look for are interests and nothing else, you'll be blind to a lot of cons that can affect you later down the line.

    (2) Sure, you can share your interests with them, but don't expect them to like it at first. A girl can LEARN to love you and your like of insects, find it cute even, but you can't search that out as being something she is  in to. Finding a woman that doesn't want children is probably the more difficult part... seeing as how a 'full life experience' to most females is to have a child, but not everyone feels that way. It's important to make that an early topic, of course. Hiking and the rest can also come naturally, whether they've done it before or not.

    (3) Don't go for artificial. The more material and 'smokin hot', the less likely you'll be able to partake in your favorite activities. (My hubbies bro is marrying the worst kind, and now he doesn't camp anymore, which is actually kind of sad...)

    ---

     

    I know I wrote a novel on this, but my brief opinion?

    You're looking at the wrong qualities in someone, which is probably why you're having a difficult time. Your approach seems to be a bit skewed as well.

     

    Hope this helps? Sorry for drawling on!!!

  • AnslemAnslem Ft. Lauderdale, FLMember CommonPosts: 215

    I'm sure women like that exist - it's just a matter of getting yourself out there and finding her. 

    And if you can't meet every criteria, I'd just priorities the most important and try to be flexible on the rest.  For example, both of you agreeing you don't want kids is a big one - but going to an outdoor mall a few times of year won't kill you. :)  Besides, you can always use new outdoor gear! :)

    It's all about compromise, I guess.  Best of luck finding what you want out there.

    Played: Ultima Online - DaoC - WoW -

  • ElikalElikal ValhallaMember UncommonPosts: 7,912

    I am sorry but... it does sound a little bit demanding. I mean, I understand we want our partners to share our interests, but even in a relationship it is ok if both partners have some different interests. I guess the insect thing will be the most difficult, a lot of people hate insects and I guess women especially. But maybe you find a woman who shares *some* of your interests?

    I'd say if you get along with her, she doesn't have share most of them, just some, and has respect for you and your interests. But in the end a relationship is ALWAYS a compromise. I mean, yeah we all wait for the perfect girl/guy but in reality we need to cope with real people. RL isn't a Hollywood movie. If you find a girl you love and you get along, what does it matter if you have all the same interests?

    Trust me, I know with special interests it can be difficult. But hey, it's 2013, we have internet. Aren't there any special interest groups in the internet for you? Maybe you find a woman there?

    Be open minded. Don't have too detailed expectations. A true relationship means to grow together. ;)

    People don't ask questions to get answers - they ask questions to show how smart they are. - Dogbert

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